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MY FRIEND IS CREEPING ME OUT

18 posts

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You may have seen my other threads about my friend Luke and how he has 6 holes in his neck and how he coughed up a yellow liquid and his eyes turn green/purple.

Today we walked down to the park and as we were walking, Luke tripped on a loose hole in the concrete and fell on to the road face first. A truck came speeding down the road and was just about to splatter his brains across the pavement. I closed my eyes and screamed. I was running away when suddenly he was sat on the bench down at the bottom of the hill. He shouted “Why are you screaming?!”. I yelped “YOU JUST DIED” whilst slowly crying. “No i didnt! Im right here.” he said.

I waddled off home extremely confused. PLEASE if any of you know what is happening then please help me! I THINK IM GOING INSANE!!!

Im scared of him…REALLY FUCKING SCARED. Is he an alien? MAYBE HE IS SATAN

 
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1. Relax
2. Manipulate him for your own gains
3. ???
4. Profit!!!!

 
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You’re probably insane.
Seek medical help.

 
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Throw him into the path of another truck and watch what happens instead of closing your eyes.

 
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Originally posted by DannyDaNinja:

1. Relax
2. Manipulate him for your own gains
3. ???
4. Profit!!!!

Lol yeah

If he can teleport then i will teleport him in the bank vault and steal some gold.

 
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You think too small. You can use him to unlock the secrets of the cosmos, out of reach for the distance between us and them are too vast to be comprehendable by a human mind.

 
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Perform a satanic ritual with him present to show your devotion to him. He will reward you greatly.

 
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He is Satan. You have two options at this point:

1. Kill a goat to show your affection.
2. Run. Run away like Orpheus trying to save his beloved Eurydice.

 
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Rofl, go tell this to your doctor.

 
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You’re friends with Satan. Congratulations.

 
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Kill it with fire

 
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He got up while you closed you eyes. Simple logic.

 
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you should show this to him

 
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HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM

 
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Maybe stop taking drugs?

 
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You have to kill him. I’ll explain later.

 
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then you realize you don’t have any friends

 
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Originally posted by DMinor:

You have to kill him. I’ll explain later.

no i will explain later
u will keep ur mouth shut as goes the deal