i've known, and been friends with a girl for five years, but i still dont have the gut to ask her out. what do i do?

see i really like her, but im nervous our friendship will end if I ask, or if she will say no. im not usually nervous of what i say around her, but this is really really nerving me. i dont know what to say, and what to do. please help.

This probably belongs in Off-Topic, not SD. I’d say that you have the same problem that many many many guys have. Unfortunately for you, this is a problem that the internet will not be able to help you with. You gotta figure it out for yourself. The only consolation I can offer you is that for the majority of these sorts of problems, they don’t last, and in a few years you either won’t remember her name, or you’ll be married to her.

This probably belongs in Off-Topic, not SD.
its serious to me

Originally posted by MyTie:

This probably belongs in Off-Topic, not SD. I’d say that you have the same problem that many many many guys have. Unfortunately for you, this is a problem that the internet will not be able to help you with. You gotta figure it out for yourself. The only consolation I can offer you is that for the majority of these sorts of problems, they don’t last, and in a few years you either won’t remember her name, or you’ll be married to her.

oops. lol im new to this

Ask her straight up, with confidence.

Just do this

If you have been friends with her for 5 years then your friendship should be strong enough to survive you asking her out, regardless of the answer.

The previous advice are good ones to listen to. Remember, act as yourself and not wear a mask. If you are rejected, then the relationship would have been unlikely to have worked out in the long term. If you succeed then you are accepted for who and what you are.
While rushing has caused many people to fail, there is also wisdom in seizing the day. What you can do today may be out of reach tomorrow.

Take her to a forest at day time, make sure its not clousy and there is abundant sunshine, take your shirt off and she will fall for your sparkly body.
At least that’s how it happens in twilight(I think).

heres an easy way to find out and ask with out askn,

1st ask do you like me, i know it seems daft but bare with it, she will probly say yes,

2nd ask would u like to be more thn just friends.

i was asked out n tht way

Write it on a piece of paper, pass it to her.
Since it’ll be too late to turn back, you’ll be forced to come up with something.

Hello jpl521,

If you want to preserve the relationship, why not try asking her if she would like to experiment with you, to see if you make a good couple and if your her type. Since you’ve been friends for 5 years, it might work. Because she’s probably used to hearing shocking or odd things from you if you see each other often.

This way, because you haven’t poured your heart out to her (just yet) and told her how you really feel, she is probably likely to be able to act normal around you afterwards if it doesn’t work out. Then you can both just laugh about it.

So you can laugh about it if she says no and you can also laugh about it if you try it but it doesn’t work out.

If you wana go ahead with this method, I’m not going to tell you how to say it, because it’s important that you still sound like yourself when you say it. But you should include the basic points how ever you say it. These are:

“Hey, Do you want to try an experiment with me”

“You wana date/go out to see if we’re a good match, who knows, we might actually work "

You could also add

“(chuckle) if it doesn’t work out, at least I’ll know what you don’t want in a partner”

Just try making it seem like nothing but a bit of fun. If she says no, you could jokingly say something around the lines of “your loss”, if it’s out of your character you might have to improvise.

These last two ways (IMO) show a lack of respect to her. Tricks and games are for strangers in pubs you want so shag without learning their name, if you have known her so long and so well then I would hope you’d respect her enough to just talk to her.

Originally posted by jpl521:

see i really like her, but im nervous our friendship will end if I ask, or if she will say no. im not usually nervous of what i say around her, but this is really really nerving me. i dont know what to say, and what to do. please help.

Kinda like my own story, but easier. Why? The friendship. Even if she said no, you would still be a friend to her and guess what, you can try again later.

Grow a sack. Speak up.

I have asked out girls who are my friends several times in my life, and have been rejected every time.

But you know what? I don’t regret it. Rejection stings at first, but when it’s over you’ll feel the spiritual wholeness that comes with knowing you had the courage to pursue what is important to you, even if it didn’t pan out.

I think it really depends on what the girl is looking forward to

I only want a serious relationship in my life – my shortest one lasted 4 months and ended because I was so heartbroken of my longest one, which was 3 years, ended so roughly for me.

If the girl wants a life without short childish relationships, respect that and if you want the same, go for it. But if you want to screw her and have some spiced up one for pleasure, I doubt you’ll have any luck with her.

I knew my ex of 3 years for about 3 months as a close friend, and knew her about 3 weeks as a mutual friend before that. We started off going to bars together and dancing together off-base, then we grew really attached for months. I worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date, a dinner that didn’t involve any dancing and had the both of us dressed formally. We dated for a year, she moved on-base with me, I got transferred from a medical company to a combat one and deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months, came back home to her and was with her for another 2 years. She only consented to sex 2 years into the relationship. I was more than okay with that because I both respected her as well as I planned to be with her for my entire life.

Hit it off with your girl on a date. Tell her you want to go to dinner or a late-night movie with her, spend a few hours with her. Then, tell her you’re really into her if she hasn’t gotten the point already. If she turns you down, respect her and assure her that you respect that. If she wants to be your girl, take charge and be her man. Respect, trust, truth – these are all the key components to a relationship.

The internet isn’t exactly the best place to ask this kind of question, and in doing so, you are feeding the trolls. But if you want my opinion, I’d say go for it. I’ve got a little experience with this. I was at a job corps center for about 8 months, and I left about 3 weeks ago. There was a girl down there that I was absolutely nuts about, but we were such good friends, that I was worried that if I tried to ask her out, she would shoot me down, and our friendship would be very awkward, so I left it at that. Well, I got a text from her a couple days after I left, saying that she would have said yes if I went for it, and she was a bit upset that I didn’t. Instead, my friend grew the balls to ask her, and she said yes. Now I feel awkward even texting her, because I don’t want to ruin anything. Now, they are 300 miles away, and I have absolutely no way of getting there. Point being, if you want it, go for it.

dont ask her out

WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE ENCOURAGING. NO!

I’m sorry dude, but you waited too long. Asking her out or otherwise telling her you like her WILL ruin your friendship. It may not be that she will completely stop talking to you but things will never be the same. If she had felt the same about you, you would’ve been a couple already. She simply doesn’t like you like that, you are just friends. This is the friendzone, you will never get out.

Stop being a beta.

Go and ask her out.
There’s nothing else we can do to help you.
Make sure you act confident, and if she says no, continue being friends, enjoy spending time with her, there’s nothing you can do.

Originally posted by Harry_mess:

Go and ask her out.
There’s nothing else we can do to help you.
Make sure you act confident, and if she says no, continue being friends, enjoy spending time with her, there’s nothing you can do.

You best be joking.

Originally posted by Aldir:

Originally posted by Harry_mess:

Go and ask her out.
There’s nothing else we can do to help you.
Make sure you act confident, and if she says no, continue being friends, enjoy spending time with her, there’s nothing you can do.

You best be joking.

You better step of my grill, or I’ll shizzle yo’ nizzle.
Word.

Originally posted by Harry_mess:

Originally posted by Aldir:

Originally posted by Harry_mess:

Go and ask her out.
There’s nothing else we can do to help you.
Make sure you act confident, and if she says no, continue being friends, enjoy spending time with her, there’s nothing you can do.

You best be joking.

You better step of my grill, or I’ll shizzle yo’ nizzle.
Word.

Yes, brony. Please beat me up.