The Wishing Game

I’ve checked through the entire forum game forum, and haven’t really seen any of the classic forum games, it’s all roleplay and mafia and that, so I decided I’d put up one of my old favorites, The Wishing Game. Let’s explain it to all you who have never played this.
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This is a very simple game, let’s say I begin the game with;
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“I wish I had a lot of cake.”
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The next poster then has to point out something horrible about this, then make their own wish;
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“You eat too much cake and your blood sugar rises to a new point: super diabetic, you die within 6 months of your cake-eating spree.
I wish I could fly”
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Next post;
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“You fly too high and start suffocating, but a commercial airliner headed for Finland tears your body to shreds.
I wish I could live a life containing a wife, kids, and many joyful moments, dying at the age of 98.”
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And so on. Everybody picked up the rules by now? Basically you ruin the person’s wish above you and then make your own wish. LETS GO!
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Sidenote: I haven’t seen ANY other threads like this and I’ve read the forum rules, this follows all of them. Lots of tildes by now, huh? Anyways, here’s the starter wish.
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I wish for a six-pack of Mountain Dew.

The six pack gets shook up, and blasts all over your Face.
I wish for 11 gallons of water.

The water appears directly above you and your computer. Frying the computer.
I wish I had an ESP EX DIAMOND PLATE

You decide to be all cool while playing it and bring it down, accidentally shoving the sharp point into your stomach, you bleed out in terrible agony for the next 3 hours, unable to reach your phone and nobody hears you scream because they’re not home. (lol, sounded bad so I fixed this sentence)
I wish I had a soda tab. (those little things you get on the cans that you pull up to open it so you can drink)

Oh, dear, can’t you read?

CORRUPT A WISH! It’s already here! Lock the thread, it’s already been going.

Give me the link then, please.

You stumble across a soda tab in a parking lot. As you reach down to pick it up, an old lady in a Hummer doesn’t see you, and you spend the next couple months in a hospital. Plus, the soda tab gets wedged under your finger nail. Permanently.
I wish to never die. (Heh…)

Eventually your flesh rots off and you become a pile of bones with a heart, held together with ducttape, with sentience and thoughts.
I wish for a sarcasm font.

Damnit.

It USED to be here…

Well, I checked through the whole forum games section, and last time I checked, it was a forum game

It came true, but everything you say in that font is not sarcasm.
I wish I knew more draconic.

You learn how to speak the whole language fluently, but nobody can understand you.
I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, but you move a knife into your eye the next day, blinding you.
I wish other people knew draconic.

They do, but nobody speaks it because they’re unsure if other people would get it or if it would make them look like a basement net lurker.
I wish I was asleep right now.

Granted, but by “Sleep” you mean go into perminent stasis.
I wish Draconic was a world language.

English becomes an ancient, dead language and 90% of the libraries on earth become obsolete.
I wish I could try being female for a day

Granted, but that amulet you’re wearing instantly makes a time bubble fast forwarding, and after a day your time the bubble dissappears and you instantly turn male again.
I wish all books were writen in draconic, english or not.

The language turns out to have some kind of magical power when written into words and the books burn from the intensity.
I wish my chair was more comfortable.

Granted, but you have a book on your lap and you burn…
I wish the books didn’t burn V.V

Granted, but they are now unreadable.

I wish for a quantum missile that could tear a hole in the fabric of space and time. (what could possibly go wrong?)

It wasn’t properly stored and it falls over on top of a group of children.
I wish for an even more comfortable bed.

Granted, its so comftorable, you fall asleep and cant wake up.

I wish that Undead wished AND the books were readable and in draconic :D

Granted, but someone else wishes for English to be the predominant language on Earth. People soon forget about Draconic, and burn Draconic books.
I wish I had a time machine.

Granted, but you get stuck in a temporal bubble.
I wish that the english wish didn’t exist and NOONE knew english.