The Wishing Game

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I’ve checked through the entire forum game forum, and haven’t really seen any of the classic forum games, it’s all roleplay and mafia and that, so I decided I’d put up one of my old favorites, The Wishing Game. Let’s explain it to all you who have never played this.
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This is a very simple game, let’s say I begin the game with;
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“I wish I had a lot of cake.”
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The next poster then has to point out something horrible about this, then make their own wish;
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“You eat too much cake and your blood sugar rises to a new point: super diabetic, you die within 6 months of your cake-eating spree.
I wish I could fly”
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Next post;
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“You fly too high and start suffocating, but a commercial airliner headed for Finland tears your body to shreds.
I wish I could live a life containing a wife, kids, and many joyful moments, dying at the age of 98.”
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And so on. Everybody picked up the rules by now? Basically you ruin the person’s wish above you and then make your own wish. LETS GO!
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Sidenote: I haven’t seen ANY other threads like this and I’ve read the forum rules, this follows all of them. Lots of tildes by now, huh? Anyways, here’s the starter wish.
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I wish for a six-pack of Mountain Dew.

 
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The six pack gets shook up, and blasts all over your Face.
I wish for 11 gallons of water.

 
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The water appears directly above you and your computer. Frying the computer.
I wish I had an ESP EX DIAMOND PLATE

 
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You decide to be all cool while playing it and bring it down, accidentally shoving the sharp point into your stomach, you bleed out in terrible agony for the next 3 hours, unable to reach your phone and nobody hears you scream because they’re not home. (lol, sounded bad so I fixed this sentence)
I wish I had a soda tab. (those little things you get on the cans that you pull up to open it so you can drink)

 
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Oh, dear, can’t you read?

CORRUPT A WISH! It’s already here! Lock the thread, it’s already been going.

 
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Give me the link then, please.

 
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You stumble across a soda tab in a parking lot. As you reach down to pick it up, an old lady in a Hummer doesn’t see you, and you spend the next couple months in a hospital. Plus, the soda tab gets wedged under your finger nail. Permanently.
I wish to never die. (Heh…)

 
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Eventually your flesh rots off and you become a pile of bones with a heart, held together with ducttape, with sentience and thoughts.
I wish for a sarcasm font.

 
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Damnit.

It USED to be here…

 
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Well, I checked through the whole forum games section, and last time I checked, it was a forum game

 
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It came true, but everything you say in that font is not sarcasm.
I wish I knew more draconic.

 
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You learn how to speak the whole language fluently, but nobody can understand you.
I wish I had telekinesis.

 
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Granted, but you move a knife into your eye the next day, blinding you.
I wish other people knew draconic.

 
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They do, but nobody speaks it because they’re unsure if other people would get it or if it would make them look like a basement net lurker.
I wish I was asleep right now.

 
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Granted, but by “Sleep” you mean go into perminent stasis.
I wish Draconic was a world language.

 
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English becomes an ancient, dead language and 90% of the libraries on earth become obsolete.
I wish I could try being female for a day

 
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Granted, but that amulet you’re wearing instantly makes a time bubble fast forwarding, and after a day your time the bubble dissappears and you instantly turn male again.
I wish all books were writen in draconic, english or not.

 
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The language turns out to have some kind of magical power when written into words and the books burn from the intensity.
I wish my chair was more comfortable.

 
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Granted, but you have a book on your lap and you burn…
I wish the books didn’t burn V.V

 
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Granted, but they are now unreadable.

I wish for a quantum missile that could tear a hole in the fabric of space and time. (what could possibly go wrong?)

 
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It wasn’t properly stored and it falls over on top of a group of children.
I wish for an even more comfortable bed.

 
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Granted, its so comftorable, you fall asleep and cant wake up.

 
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I wish that Undead wished AND the books were readable and in draconic :D

 
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Granted, but someone else wishes for English to be the predominant language on Earth. People soon forget about Draconic, and burn Draconic books.
I wish I had a time machine.

 
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Granted, but you get stuck in a temporal bubble.
I wish that the english wish didn’t exist and NOONE knew english.