Steal the Cookie (No Sign-Ups) page 88

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I went to the Facility, searched and found the cookie.

I soak the cookie in water so it is all soggy, then threw it away.

 
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Hair dryer. ’Nuff said.

I put the cookie inside a space pod, which launches towards the Eridanus Supervoid at the speed of a tachyon.

 
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I stop the space pod just as it starts out from the Earth, and hide the cookie in a man’s butt.

 
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The man was frisked, the officer noticed a ridiculous bulge at his anus, and the cookie was retrieved.

I clean the cookie, placed it in a metal ball and let it sink to the bottom of the Pacific.

 
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Before it sank to the bottom of the ocean, I sent a fast submersible to intercept the cookie.

I give the cookie to Godzilla.

 
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Godzilla gives the cookie to me, because he developed a hatred for chocolate chips.

I hide the cookie at the edge of the universe.

 
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I make friends with the Azgard (for those non-Stargate SG1 fans they are an extremely advanced race that consists only of clones(they are that advanced)) and they fly me to retrive it and they hide it for me in a place only Thor (their leader) knows about

 
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I ask god to give me insight to where Thor is. I then use this knowledge and contact luke skywalker and Fox, have them obliterate Thor with their starships and they return the cookie to me.
I then give the cookie to a random stranger in Toronto. I dont know what he does with it.

 
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I find the random stranger and asked for the cookie back.

I then contaminate the cookie with smallpox.

 
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(you wouldnt be able to find him in toronto, but whatever)
I get my robot friend to take the cookie, kill you and then store it within himself.
He then explodes, several particles of the cookie flying out into space, other parts scattering across the earth.

 
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[Okay, correction. I fly to Toronto, initiated a massive search, and found him within 5 minutes.]

[Presses restart button.]

From the force of the explosion and the mass of the cookie, I calculated possible paths the cookie fragments could have flown through. I then get certain satellites in the vicinity to collect the cookie fragments, and space-drop them back to earth. Satellite imagery helped me to find the other fragments.

I reassembled the cookie and put it on board a fighter.

 
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I get luke skywalker to destroy the fighter. I visit the crash site of the fighter and pick up the cookie from the ruins.
I then get on board luke’s ship and we fly to the edge of the universe.

 
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Four words: DEATH STAR LASER CANNON.

Chuck Norris eats the cookie and destroys Bruce Lee.

 
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inside chuck Norris is razer who destroys him from the inside out and gives the cookie to me to be protected by all the robots of robot wars

 
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Chuck Norris can’t be killed by wimpy battle bot thingys that came from robot wars. He murders you and melts all your crapbots by looking at them.

Chuck Norris still has the cookie.

 
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I create a clone of Chuck Norris, who takes it from the real Chuck Norris.
I hide teh cookie in a TARDIS gaurded by the clone.

 
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I clone Darkth Vader 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 times and they use the force to freeze the Chuck norris clone and kill him once they have the cookie they then each eat an equal part of the cookie and go to a different parallel dimensoin

 
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Doesn’t explain how they got in the TARDIS, or how they even noticed where the TARDIS was.

 
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Both Chuck Norrises kill each other after I escort the real one via TARDIS. The real one reforms and gives me the cookie.

I give the cookie to some horror worse than anything Lovecraft could think of.

 
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I visit hatecraft and they give me the lengendary version of that horror, it get back the cookie and becomes it immortal gaurdian

 
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[Please use proper spellings. It is not exactly easy to comprehend the meaning.]

I got a sniper to kill horror.

I then took the cookie and shared it with the sniper.

 
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the sniper punches you in the face and steels the over half and gives it to me where i am protected by all the robots of robot wars and the house robots and the sniper and a tank of l4d2

 
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I drill under the robots, roundhouse kick you so hard you lose all of your limbs and fly where the sun doesn’t shine (I’m the student of Chuck Norris), take the cookie, and then fly 1000 miles away with my jetpack.

I then do a victory dance, and for the grand finale I put the cookie in the LHC, where it gets hit by an atom at the speed of light a millisecond after I put it in. Now it fell into protons, and you can’t get them, since they’re now the official property of the LHC.

 
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Originally posted by hamuka:

I drill under the robots, roundhouse kick you so hard you lose all of your limbs and fly where the sun doesn’t shine (I’m the student of Chuck Norris), take the cookie, and then fly 1000 miles away with my jetpack.

I then do a victory dance, and for the grand finale I put the cookie in the LHC, where it gets hit by an atom at the speed of light a millisecond after I put it in. Now it fell into protons, and you can’t get them, since they’re now the official property of the LHC.

but then you notice it was a fake cookie and all they were was hollograms and i still have my arm of

Originally posted by scorpion1m:

where i am protected by all the robots of robot wars and the house robots and the sniper and a tank of l4d2 a sniper

 
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I get a witch from Planet zorg to magically give me the cookie as a whole.

I give the cookie to an angry hobo.