Steal the Cookie (No Sign-Ups) page 96

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Before you did that, I convinced several governments that the cookie was a satellite that prevented cancer. Angry that Belgium “stole” their “satellite” and removed its “anti-cancer” powers, everyone nukes Belgium and entrust the cookie to me for safe-keeping.

A heavy with 900% more HP and 1000% more damage dealing guns guards the cookie in a magic box only whoever beats the Heavy and I can open. The Heavy also instantly heals to full health if he kills something.

 
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Is there a cookie jar?

 
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Originally posted by NickCharming:

Is there a cookie jar?

No. Now think of a way to kill the Immovable Heavy!

 
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I hire Saxton Hale to get me the cookie. The poor Heavy never stood a chance.

I conceal the cookie in the deepest reaches of Australia.
(Incidentally, what type of cookie are we fighting over?)

 
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/slay saxton hale.

i locate the cookie using voyager 1. take it with my BARE ***M HANDS. then i hide it inside a bomb,where it cannot be defused, and any intrusion into it will detonate it, and blow up like a nuke. and being immortal wont stop you. it is imbued with /slay power.

 
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Saxton Hale’s ghost takes the cookie, and punches you with it. Due to being a incorporeal being who can make anything else incorporeal, the nukebomb fails to work. Saxton Hale then removes the /slay power and becomes human again because of powers granted to him via handwave.

I hide the cookie in Sniper’s caravan.

 
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I blow the caravan up with a mine. Due to my 8-leaf clover, I’m so lucky that it falls into my hands, unharmed.

I then crumble it, put it into a jug of water, then pour it into a mixer. It’s now a liquid. Then, I dig a hole, pour the liquid into there, then bury it with sand. The liquid is now absorbed by the sand. Good luck getting it out of the sand.

 
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With the DigShvl 43, I easily dig up all the sand and get the cookie.

I throw the cookie in Quicksand.

 
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Originally posted by blakzer:

With the DigShvl 43, I easily dig up all the sand and get the cookie.

I throw the cookie in Quicksand.

You don’t get it. The cookie has been transformed into a liquid. Then the sand soaked it all up like a sponge. Digging the sand up is only a tiny bit of your work, since the cookie particles are scattered in the sand. They are around the same size as sand particles, too. So, good luck with that.

But anyway, if we must continue, then…

The quicksand was in fact very shallow, so I could get it out with ease.

Then, I put the cookie in a highly protected rocket’s oil tank, which will have liftoff in 10… 9… 8…

 
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The rocket launches, and with its cookie-detecting abilities, it moves the cookie to the head of the rocket. The rocket (which was actually a space shuttle made to look like a rocket) crash-lands on a planet I own, giving me full ownership of the cookie. I then teleport back to Earth for no reason.

I sell the cookie to a cookie collector who I am 100% sure that the cookie collector is not someone from the Forum Game Forums. Said cookie collector is heavily armed and defended, and his home is trapped with traps he is somehow able to avoid 100% of the time, even if he is pushed into one.

 
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After a long adventure filled to the brim with all sorts of baking-and-time-travel-related shenanigans, I acquire a rare Swedish Chestnut cookie, first baked in the ancient Viking days of old and preserved to this day in the Arctic tundra. The collector, of course, is eager to trade for such an auspicious item. From him, I demand only the mundane cookie he just recently got in his collection, and indeed has yet to appraise. A small loss to him, he quickly swaps the cookies to each other’s mutual benefit. Perhaps, had he known it was in fact the first cookie in space, he may not have traded so quickly.

Deviously, I construct an anti-pressure device in which any object may be safely stored, no matter what outside pressures are exerted on it. I then chuck the mechanical sphere, with the cookie inside, past the event horizon of the nearest black hole.

 
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I devise a counter to the anti-pressure device, open the sphere, and take the cookie. I place the cookie in my pocket.

 
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When you empty your pockets later on, all you find is a note that says “SUCKER.” You never know how I got the cookie.

I place the cookie inside the ICE FIELD. In the Ice Field, cars can move sideways, backwards, forwards, and up and down AND THROUGH TIME

 
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I summon the cookie again, I then feed it to the starving kids in Africa who are going to die without this cookie.
Are you going to take food away from a poor African child? :(

You have two options now…

- Get a new cookie and continue from there.
- Take the cookie and end up a cold hearted arsehole.

Choose wisely.

 
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I grant the poor Africans infinite food, and they give the cookie to me in appreciation.

I send the cookie to the Nth Dimension.

 
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that is the dimension I live in and it appears in my pocket

I clone a 500 ft. dragon 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 times and tell them to gaurd the cookie

 
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I calmly walk past the 500 ft baby dragons and pet them along the way.

I use the cookie as a repository.. HA!

 
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Originally posted by ZombiestookmyTV:

I calmly walk past the 500 ft baby dragons and pet them along the way.

I use the cookie as a repository.. HA!

what is a respatory?!

 
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A place where you store things. You will be looking for the cookie in my repository when the cookie is the repository
.. Its FOOLPROOF!!!

 
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I find the respatory you put your money in and it is the cookie

I shove it up my anus

 
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While I was butt raping you last night something got stuck near my genitals…(ignore)

I threw the cookie inside the pac man arcade game

 
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I am bad at that game and destroyed it in anger and found the cookie

I hide it in an ocean

 
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Haha you made me laugh.

I was walking down the beach when I saw a floating cookie wash up next to me….. Salty!

I hide the cookie inside an unbreakable box that only opens when you finish the electronic jigsaw puzzle next to the box.(Impossible)

 
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Using my moible phaser that allows me to go through stuff, i zap myself and simply reach in and grab the cookie.
I zap the cookie with the phaser, eat the phaser, and chuck the cookie imbuded with passing wall powers into the molten core of uranus.

 
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When you zapped yourself you fell through the ground into the earths core. The cookie is safe.