Unvoting Taiboss and voting Knoob for being annoying.

Villages and Monkeys

First of all, we’d like to excuse ourselves. It appears that the missing monkeys lived in MonkeyVillage instead of MonkeyTown. We blame the one who painted that sign.

About the lost monkeys mystery: the monkey section of our Melancholic AppleFlair Investigation Agents has reprted that the missing monkeys were employed by BananaPress.

In addition, we’ve found a dead body of one of the missing monkeys. We tried to get our necromancers to reanimate him, but it appears that our necromancers don’t know anything about reanimating monkeys.

Therefore, we came to the conclusion that our astrologist was right: the monkeys were kidnapped by a dragon. That makes the most sense, after all.

Source: AppleFlair® Newspaper™

Votes:

1. Taiboss – 3 votes;
2. CoolNoah23 – 1 vote;

(No news article this time because no posts were made since the previous bump.)

There are about 40 hours left until the end of the day. If nothing changes, Taiboss will die with only four votes made. That’s not quite majority, is it?

Oops, forgot about this. There has not been much evidence put down on anyone else but Tai, so I’ll vote Taiboss.

I’ll vote myself to get this game going.

Day 2, end

Day 2, year 1

Dear monkeys,

Sadly, it appears that we’ve lost our columnist today. It’s not like anyone will miss him, for he wasn’t writing any columns anyway. On the bright side: this will save us $$$ in wage payout.

Luckily, those AppleFlair noobs are so dimwitted that they won’t even bother figuring out the monkey’s death causes. They’ll probably blame it upon cosmic radiation or something.

… makes me actually wonder why he didn’t collumn anything about being the columnist monkey in order to save himself from cosmic radiation…

Whatever. Activity is low anyway.

~The boss

Final votes:

1. Taiboss – 4 votes;
2. CoolNoah23 – 1 votes;
3. GotterakaThing – 1 vote.

Events:

• Day 2 ended due to the seven days limit;
• Taiboss, the columnist monkey, got lynched.

Night 2, start

Night 2 ends in 48 hours. Please send in your night actions.

DARN! I miss teh sign ups.
Can I be a reserver?

Night 2, end

Day 3, year 1

Not-so-dear devourer359,

If the case about that woon-thing wasn’t bad enough already, it appears that YOU’ve been the pyromaniac who was frying the computers’ motherboards before we replaced them with typewriters?!?

I almost thought I had already fired that one when I fired the other employees, but it appears that it was you the whole time – even before I employed you!

I’d like to degrade you to “motherboard-repairer”, but that’d be equivalent to “technical staff”, which would be more like a promotion…

Therefore, YOU’RE FIRED! (If you feel like doing so, you can fire yourself too.)

Also, I’d like to pass a public thanks to the trustworthy sources who reported this to me. I <3 trustworthy sources!

~The boss

Events:

• Devourer359, an angry monkey, was NK’ed by the MAFIAs.

Day 3, start

6 votes needed for majority.

Originally posted by TailsChao99:

DARN! I miss teh sign ups.
Can I be a reserver?

I’ve put you on the reserves list, but since everyone has confirmed, I don’t think there will be modkills though.

(Another useless bump due to no posts.)

This game seems to be quite dying… Anyway, there are three days left.

Meh.

I’ll vote for GotterakaThing because he voted for himself on the previous day.

But I installed chrome on the typewriters.

Day 3, end

Someday

I’m hereby skipping the formalities because they are getting cliche. Problem?

So, just when I thought the deal with microsoft was secured again after firing woon, it appears that GotterakaThing dared to install CHROME on our typewriters?!

I’ll repeat it once again for everyone: THE ONLY BROWSER WE’RE USING IS THE MAGNIFICENT INTERNET EXPLORER!

Seriously.
We don’t want to get on microsoft’s bad side.
That’s bad for buisness.
And advertisement.
And propaganda.
And DRM.

So, GotterakaThing, you are herby royally FIRED!
Or at least, you would be if you weren’t dead already.
In that case, your heirs are fired.
But those weren’t working for me anyway… SCREW THIS.

~The boss

Events:

• GotterakaThing , a kind monkey, was lynched.

Night 3, start

Please send in your night actions.

Night 3, end

Alright, I could go on complaining about how one of you slackers has been fired again, but istead I’m going to complain about how you should all be fired.

I haven’t seen a single article from almost anyone of you yesterday, and you aren’t getting paid for sleeping.

However, if the world hears we’ve got no employees, nobody will take us seriously anymore. That’s pretty much the only reason you’re not fired yet.

(Which, on it’s own part, is bad for the PROFITs. At least, people are still buying our newspapers because they think there’s some sercret invisible ink which they are trying to discover.)

I’m firing Hyped though, simply because I can.
And also because trusted sources report he smells like onions.
But it’s mainly because I can; I don’t have anything against onions.

~The boss

Events:

• Hyped, a kind monkey, was NK’ed by the MAFIAs.

Day 4, start

5 votes needed for majority.

This is a LyLo (lynch or lose) situation: if no MAFIA is lynched today, then the MAFIAs will reach majority with their next NK! (Or actually, equal numbers; but that’s a victory too.)

I just realized I never followed up on this FoS:

Originally posted by racefan12:

Originally posted by Drovoxx:

Edit: oh derp, he’s the host! I’ll vote for Coolnoah. He escaped death day 1.

Escaping a death based on an RNG vote makes someone suspicious? I don’t follow your logic.

Right now, I’ll vote Taiboss per devourer’s reasoning above, but I’m also going to place an FoS on Drovoxx.

Since I don’t have any other suspicions at this point, I will vote for Drovoxx.

New lost monkey found

Our reporters found another monkey who was reported to have been lost from the monkey VILLAGE. Bad new though: he’s dead.

Our necromancers are busy with reviving (because reanimating didn’t work) the dead monkey, hopefully we can learn more about their current situation.

According to our astrologists, the monkey likely died due to cosmic radiadion, like they always do.

Meanwhile, our sceptics are complaining about how the astologists’ explanation of cosmic radiadion is doesn’t match their explanation of being kidnapped by a dragon.

The revived previous dead monkey claims we’re dealing with a case of brainzzz, or something like that. Our interpreters couldn’t entirely comprehend what he was trying to say.

Our editors are wondering whether this article makes our newspaper look serious.

Source: AppleFlair® Newspaper™

I’m with Race, I have basically no suspicions, I’ll vote Drovoxx

AppleFlair fails to register trademark for the 1000th time

At day 4 year 1, AppleFlairs request for a trademark on the word “Newspaper” had been rejected by the US Patent and Trademark office.

This marks a milestone: this is the 1000th time that their trademark request got rejected. The authorities claim that “Newspaper” is a common english word which is utilized by many other presses. It beig regarded as public domain would prevent it from being trademarked.

The boss of AppleFlair, T. Crook, claim “The Patent and Trademark office is famous for patenting inventions which have been regarded as public domain for many years. We just keep trying again until the same thing happens to our trademark.”

Conspiracy theorists are speculating that AppleFlair desires to use that trademark to ban all other existing newspaper, to enstablish an absolute monopoly on whatever news the citizens hear, and thereby their opinions.

Source: BananaPress®

Day 4, end

SWAT Assaults BananaPress Headquarters

At day 4, year 1, the BananaPress Headquarters were assaulted by an army of SWAT agents, the Stop Whiny Apples Team.

The SWAT claims that their Superior Monkey Senses Radar detected an unusually high concentration of apples at the BananaPress headquarters, so they had decided to investigate it.

This investigation, unfortunately, ended in the entire place getting plundered and destroyed. The SWAT will not disclose whether they had actually found something.

The manager of BananaPress inc, The Boss, claims that the SWAT did not have search warrants and threatens to sue them for vandalism.

The SWAT, however, claims “We’re living in the USA. Therefore, we’re legally protected against any court actions because The Boss doesn’t have enough money to bring any court action.”

According to SWAT, the swiss bank account of The Boss scientifically nets an amount of about $-2.94*10⁴, which we can probably translate to some negative amount.

This, due to the fact BananaPress can’t afford to rebuild their office, obviously, means that BananaPress inc. is bankrupt*.

_{*Decided by AppleFlair inc.}

Source: AppleFlair® Newspaper™

Events:

• Drovoxx, an angry monkey, got lynched;
• Everyone with the MAFIA role has won!
• Everyone without a MAFIA role has lost.

Game ended!

List of roles:

• racefan12: MAFIA monkey;
• REALinsanemonkey: MAFIA monkey;
• reaper765: MAFIA monkey;
• GotterakaThing: Kind monkey;
• Hyped: Kind monkey;
• ocelot: Strong monkey;
• Taiboss: Columnist monkey;
• Zzzip50: Communist monkey;
• Anime_Shadow: Angry monkey;
• CoolNoah23: Angry monkey;
• devourer359: Angry monkey;
• Drovoxx: Angry monkey;
• therealsirmark4: Angry monkey;
• Woon1957: Angry monkey;

(In case anyone is wondering, the roles were distributed according to the RNG.)

REALinsanemonkey, racefan12 and reaper765 have achieved a FLAWLESS VICTORY!

(It’s flawless because not a single one of them died.)