[5%] The Grand Pun <Rikishi Ring> (>>|<<) page 8

376 posts

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Shouldn’t DAZ get kicked from the round he is facing me for not retaliating in 24 hours?

 
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I suggest you guys stop doing so many double puns. We can’t repeat them, and you don’t get additional points.
Anyways, I really like Taco Bell. It’s quick, easy, and I can always get my food ta co.

 
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Originally posted by Mysterymason:

I agree with t6, I’ve never been to a Taco Bell, and the only info I have on them is from the internet and all I know is they sell tacos and make you shit a lot.

I have never been to one, but it shouldn’t really be that hard to make puns. Just think Mexican cuisines.

 
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Final Votes (24 Hours Remain)



hamuka (1) VS T6salt (2)
Their theme was Sandwiches.

Here’s their battle:

1: I think I’ll go on a holiday to the beach, because lying on the sandwich is hot feels so good. I’m going to travel on a Subway, then hop onto a train which is steaking me to my destination.
2: What do YOU call a pun Sandwich?
Well. I call it a Punini(Panini).
Others call it a Punna bread Sandwich
1: I’m thinking your puns are a little bit salty, and that they could’ve been spiced up a bit. I advice meating some pun masters and learn some tricks from them to cook up much better puns than me
2: Well, then. the time has come. I will Chrust you into oblivion. People call me T6*sarnie* in certain sandwich rooms. I pay live in britain and we control Sandwich Islands and the Sandwiches that live there all come from the Subway. They call themselfs the Sandwichers.

Now please, let me eat my *pun*wich and I’ll be on with my punmaking

Note: If you don’t know what sarnies are. Sarnies are a word for sandwichies from where I come from. Subway is a sandwich shop.

1: 7 (CowFriend, devourer359, DragonArcherZ, Minnakht, AdeebNafees, MysteryMason, Bluji)
2: 0



Minnakht (1) VS RokRokRok (2)
Their theme was the General Bathroom.

Here’s their battle:

1: Banger of three rocks, I shall rip your terry clothes off, you wet towel. You look flushed – with your so-so aptitude, you wish you could sink out of sight before I showe y’r head into the bowl.
2: You with bathe bathe in regret, have your mouth washed out with soap, and be brushed aside as I comb out on top.
1: Your attempts to tap into the lowest form of wit produce only hard, scummy results. Faucet – your efforts will go down the drain as I shall be declared the winner, so be prepared to plunge into dis sap ointment with honor. Don’t let my words hamper you, you’re still allowed a dry – however few-tile it is, I bidet.
2: Pipe down. You are porcelain it to far, you are taking your skills for granite. Little do you know I have the metal to continue, and steel the competetion.

1: 5 (AdeebNafees, Bluji, devourer359, DragonArcherZ, MysteryMason)
2: 4 (funiax, FelineForumer, CowFriend, puzzledan)



devourer359 (1) VS funiax (2)
Their theme was Mathematics.

Here’s their battle:

1: Subtract your fractious posts from this circle of sumos. None of your posts add up to any resultant. All they do is convert this thread to a negative.
2: You’re weak and have no base, so I’ll easily over power you. I’m firmly rooted so any strategy you divides will still lead to an invariable victory for me. Let this be inscribed into your memory you obtuse, sineil old man: I’m in the top percentage of Rattatas sumos!
1: Your arguments hold no roots, as simple as a log. Surely, the summation of the angles of my attack will equate to my victory. In addition, your functions are obsolete, so get out of this domain.
2: Your range of attacks are linear; you should make best use of your second function to rise and run. Unable to attack on a tangent, you fail to meet my x pectations. It’d be y ise to clear out now, last place enough to get some pi or cosine the surgery needed for the skin grapht for these burns.

1: 4 (RokRokRok, puzzledan, AdeebNafees, Bluji)
2: 4 (FelineForumer, CowFriend, DragonArcherZ, MysteryMason)



GotterakaThing (1) VS CowFriend(2)
Their theme was Fast Food.

Here’s their battle:

1: Cowfriend stop being a hot dog just because you want this pun war started, so rice and shine, it’s time to meat your end.
2:Gotteraka, you’re nothing but an appetizer in the vast food chain of the society. You think you can fry to the top without any effort, but nothing will change with your pathetic beefing. You will never beet me with your shellfish desires.
1: You know Cowfriend, I think I should slow down for you because you can’t ketchup to me.
2: I donut think you know what you’re saying. Even if you mustard up all your strength, you still won’t be able to match up with my superiority. I suggest you bag this fight before I broil you down to juice.

1: 0
2: 7 (devourer359, FelineForumer, DragonArcherZ, Minnakht, AdeebNafees, MysteryMason, Bluji)



MysteryMason (1) VS GottaAskTheMan (2)
Their theme was Car Parts.

Here’s their battle:

1: . Take a seat, cus I’m going to wheel this game outta here. I’m here to brake my opponent, I’m a tank and you know it. The axis my weapon of choice, engine is the drink to go with it
2:Take a brake, lock the doors. Wheel, that was close, the axis close and nearly hit me. I like to drink champagne, engine too, but the best thing I like to do is battery.
1: You seem exhausted, tired of punning perhaps? You prepedal your puns but I came into the fight blind, ready to destroy. You’re in over your head, lights is what you’ll be seeing after this.
2: I want to exhaust you, then clutch your throat, and brake all your muscles. I’ve got a wind shield, you can’t get me, I got a windowve, which will help me win (Mmmhm). I’ve got a fierce motork, why, I could bumper hot cube of lava and not die, but mirrortha bumper poisonous cube, but that will do.

1: 7 (CowFriend, devourer359, FelineForumer, DragonArcherZ, Minnakht, AdeebNafees, Bluji)
2: 0



Feline Forumer (1) VS MyNameIsNothing (2)
Their theme was the Ocean.

Here’s their battle:

1: The angler aproach is the best for this one, where nobody puffers any conchiquences. Water you waiting for? Its your turn to raise up shell.
2: Water you doing, trying to beat me? It’s Dolphin and games until someone gets hurt, and I afraid to cray, that it will be you. I believe it’s time to stop sea horsing around, I am the king of this sandcastle. I will have a whale of a time defeating you.
1: I mean to be no crab, but I am a Pacificist. With reflexes like a catfish, I flee to the beat of my own oildrum. (Pollution is a bad thing…)
2: Don’t be so salty with me. So far, I feel like I have been beating you swimmingly. I will take you down with my tantalizing. Put your sunglasses on, because my puns are coming in hot.

1: 0
2: 0



TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)
Their theme was Geographical Terms.

Here’s their battle:

1: Oman, can’t wait to fly on a delta
2: I’m not liking your altitude; let’s face the facts. While you’re Russian about trying to think, I’m drinking high tea off fine china. I’ve got way more puns reserved than you.
1: Geographical puns are below my standard, there is Norway I’d go Oslo as that, but I guess I gotta.

Dragon, this time, your Finnished.
I’m really Hungary so I’m gonna eat you up like the British Sandwich Islands, then I’m gonna kick Jaboody so hard, you’ll go Down Under, Czech out my skills man so far ahead, the question is, Kenya keep up?
2: You think you’ve got this in the bag, butte I think you’ve caved in. I mean look, you’re not thinking strait – my attacks are a mount ing to a much stronger thunderstrike. See, I’m breezing through this while you’re stuck on a plain; sea, you’ve lost.

1: 0
2: 0



puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)
Their theme was Thanksgiving.

Here’s their battle:

1: Time to make stuffing outta out you Pulsariss.Just don’t be turkey when your eating pie
2: My pun will rise victorious and you shall fall in defeat! Fighting with me is just digging your own gravy, potato head. I will make sure that every day is a black Friday for you.
1: Really that pun made you fall into gravy.I be eating humble pie and making sure you don’t get the wishbone
2: Show some filial piety, or I will crush you with my iron feast. Next time, remember to give yo momma some May flowers!

1: 0
2: 0



burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)
Their theme was Kitchen Accessories.

Here’s their battle:

1: Wow, with a category this broad, I gotta be a little whisk y with my puns to beat you.
I gotta stay cool like my puns, too fridge-id, now I want to see you strain your mussels and make a counter argument.
I’m going to squish you like a puny bug, so give a microwave goodbye.
2: Really, my orbital spice cannon is waiting to toasters both from high up in the ovens at the moment…

…and luckily, I am the one with the bakeware, so tough luck, since those saucepan-ts might be a bit too whisk-ous for a getaway, and I will non-stick around so you can get at me.

Though maybe, I’ll give jui-cer, a few seconds to microwave your win this round, while I scooper up from a taxi, something rather easy since I have a broadband access to the cabinet!
1: Time to measure c up because you’re getting grilled and toasted, I’ll give you a quick disposal.
You puns are such a pan to hear, I need First KitchenAid so I hope you have some wood ones stoved away.
Water you doing, sink ing so many bad puns in the first round while my bad puns are still flowing, you’re going to need to mixer them up if you wanna keep going.
2: Drawer best weapuns out, and be ready to face a beater victory as I come rolling pin to clean up dish rack of a competition with my grater punnage: may take time, but I’ll have funnel through the processor!

Hey, spigot a bit louder, since your puns seem to be in sink gear, though I won’t give you a chance to sifter any higher anyway – next time I casserole of a lazy fighter in one of my films, I’ll definitely fork it out to you. ;)

When it comes to being squished, I’ve blender and done that a million times, so sieve you can find an o pan ing while I open this here ten tong can o pener and wrap this up in s tile!

1: 0
2: 0



helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)
Their theme was Country Names.

Here’s their battle:

1: Uganda be kidding me! I’m definitely Ghana win this round. I’ve got my country names down to a Czech. Kenya top that, thijis?
2: Sure, tank, I’ll beat you, but first, I’m kinda Hungary, so i’m Ghana Czech the fridge for some Turkey. ahh, that’s better, now I’ll beat you to the Nether land! (puns intended)
1: Hey, thijis, I’m in no Russia to beat you. You’re too easy an opponent; Irish I had someone more worthy to duel with. You want to mess with me? I’ll tell you know that I’ll devour your Seoul if you do. You want Togo somewhere and hide from me? Good luck with that. Once Iran a hundred kilometers to hunt down and destroy one guy who crossed me.
Think you’re going to win our battle? Norway that’s going to happen. Isreally hard to beat me, some say impossible. Surrender or I’ll have a Wale of a time whupping your ass.
2: I’m not so sure about that. VatIcan beat you! I have found a Niue NorWay to fight! I just think Uruguay! I dare you to think of a pun that could possibly beat me. You can’t? Well, Denmark the date of your death on your calendar! Oman, I’m Ghana beat you so hard, you won’t believe it. But, we already knew that much. Well, if you’d excuse me, Syria later!

1: 0
2: 0

 
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Activity Feed

New Players: Start Here

Bluji vs helltank: You’re punemies, your theme is Modern Political Leaders, and Bluji is the starter.
Your round will be longer than the event, while players are occupied by the Challenge.
You can still participate in the Challenge.

DragonArcherZ: You were not selected because I used a random number generator to decide. My condolences.

All Players: Final Votes are Up! 24 Hours Remain until Voting Closes.

TwistedCakez: Whatcha talkin bout? DAZ responded a while back and finished the match.

Sumo Smash: Team 1 has accumulated + 500! The damage dealt to Team 2 is… 19! Pretty slim!

Sumo Smash Theme: The new theme is Russian Geography!

hamuka: I can’t update all the time, silly.

T6salt: A Challenge is optional; you do not have to participate. My intention is to make it difficult so you can’t just use words off the top of your head. A little research goes into quality puns, and who knows, you might learn something along the way! I never knew that the thing Sumo Wrestlers wore were Mawashi, but now I know! Hence: Mawashi Mayhem!

>>|<<
Votes

 
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Wow, I honestly didn’t expect so many of the votes to be so one-sided.

 
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And all posts are fully updated, refresh for any possible information you might have missed.

Originally posted by CowFriend:

Wow, I honestly didn’t expect so many of the votes to be so one-sided.

Only 3/5 are one-sided. I didn’t expect so many to be so equally matched.

Nonetheless, for any who are being demolished — don’t let it get to you. Rather, take the lack of votes as constructive criticism and sharpen your tongue for the next round.
You’ve been given a gift that the winners have not; how to improve your wordplay.

 
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Sumo Smash: Team 1, tundra understand? You guys will never be able to beat the clearly better team.


Votes

Feline Forumer (1) VS MyNameIsNothing (2)

#2. Has better retaliations and puns are a bit more enjoyable.

TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)

#2. Has more puns fitting with the theme at hand.

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)

#2. Lack of retaliation from puzzledan and just has better puns overall.

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)

#1. God damn it this one’s hard to decide. Both sides has a few puns that feels forced and hard to follow. Adeeb used too many extended sentences to increase his puns.

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)

#2. Because helltank violated one of the rules. umad?

Edit: Noticed both broke the rules. Still gonna go with #2 since Helltank spent so much time not focusing on verbal attacks.

 
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TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)

(2) – Keeps to the 3 lines, while making some nice puns. Twisted, you mad some good puns, but most were… mundane?

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)

(2) – Nice variety.

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)

I am not doing that… (O.O)

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)

(2) – They kept in the perimiters. Both were nice.

 
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Can I request for a change of topic? There are only so many political leaders so we’ll run out of puns very quickly.

 
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Feline Forumer (1) VS MyNameIsNothing (2)

Vote 2.

TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)

Vote 2.

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)

Vote 2.

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)

Vote 2.

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)

Isn’t that way too many sentences? I’m referring to both of them.


(Sumo Smash)

You’ve got taiga kidding me. Ural incapable of winning against us.

 
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hamuka (1) VS T6salt (2)
2, I really liked his Chrust puns. And a little pity.

Minnakht (1) VS RokRokRok (2)
I’m going with 2.

devourer359 (1) VS funiax (2)
I have to go with 2, I really liked his second post.

GotterakaThing (1) VS CowFriend(2)
2, Gotteras gotta, er, uh, get more puns in there.

MysteryMason (1) VS GottaAskTheMan (2)
1. Going with Mystery Mason also. While Gotta Ask The Man had some decent ones, he used a lot of the same ones that MM used previously.

TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)
Going with 2, he stuck with the category better.

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)
2. Going with Pulsaris

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)
GOING WITH BURRITO THAT GUY IS A STUD.

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)
Eek, I didn’t like this one too much, but I am going with 2. No one stuck with the 3 sentence rule, but some of 1’s puns sounded really goofy

As for the Sumo Smash
Team two is getting punneled, they seam disjointed. Team 1 is bering strait swords, cutting up our competition.

 
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Rules are primarily enforced by the players.
If you see someone breaking a rule — you have two options:

1) Vote for Rule-Abiding Player (Increase chances of facing fair players)

2) Vote for Rule-Breaking Player (Increase chances of facing unfair players, become an unfair player)

Of course, that’s up to your own morals.

If it goes too far, I might immediately disqualify based on rule-breaking.
You heard Mr. Pundit — the users create the rules.
I’m giving you the responsibility, for now.

 
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If you see someone breaking a rule — you have two options:

What if both the the players broke the rule? Can we just vote to dissolve the pun battle entirely so that neither party could get punee?

 
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hamuka (1) VS T6salt (2)

1

Minnakht (1) VS RokRokRok (2)

1

devourer359 (1) VS funiax (2)

2

GotterakaThing (1) VS CowFriend(2)

2

MysteryMason (1) VS GottaAskTheMan (2)

1

TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)

2

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)

2

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)

2

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)

1

 
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I hadn’t told you mortals my master plans yet, but since it seems to be bothering you guys:
I was already planning on reducing the Punee won by rule-breaking players by 50% — and I round down.

So for this round, worth (+3 Punee):
3/2 = 1.5
Rounded Down = 1
Sorry to any offended players, but rules are rules, and these are the penalties. You still get to move on, and you can still play freely.

I do this so that they aren’t discouraged from playing (they still get something); it’s kinda like a little slap on the hand.

 
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We’re going to win because Team 1 is too busy trying to Stalingrad the previous rounds puns. (Cities count right?)

 
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Sumo Smash: I suggest you guys steppe down before we completely obliterate your team.

 
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Is it possible to get confirmation on which puns have been included, or when a certain pun is discluded from the Sumo Smash.

Sumo Smash Team two shouldn’t even get me Tsar-ted. If they listen to what I’m Sayan, they would give up now.

 
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Bottom of the post, burrito.



Team 2 charged up their Smash Attack
with…
77 DAMAGE !!!

 
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Just 77? Ural mad, Team 2 people! :p


Voting tiem!

In FF vs MNIN, I will have to vote 2, in spite of him having broken the rule during his attack. While 1 has covered fishes and stuff in the ocean really well, 2’s puns convey the right “ocean feeling”, with salty and hot and tan. Still, very evenly matched, IMO.

IMO, best pun by FF:

The angler aproach is the best for this one, where nobody puffers any conchiquences

IMO, best pun by MNIN:

It’s Dolphin and games until someone gets hurt, and I afraid to cray, that it will be you

[I considered only the first three sentences in his attack]


In TwistedvsDragor, I vote 2. It was a pretty close competition, but in the end, 1’s attack was really rather lacking, while 2 adhered to the theme impeccably.

IMO, best pun by Twisty:

you’ll go Down Under, Czech out my skills man so far ahead, the question is, Kenya keep up?

IMO, best pun by DAZ:

bq, You think you’ve got this in the bag, butte I think you’ve caved in. I mean look, you’re not thinking strait – my attacks are a mount ing to a much stronger thunderstrike.

[Yep. That line was extremely convincing :p]


In punzledanvsPunsaris, I am voting 2. Punsaris had a much better attack, and punzle’s retaliation didn’t really work out as well.

IMO, best pun by punzledan:

Time to make stuffing outta out you Pulsariss

[Not a lot of choice, since some of those puns were quite incomprehensible to me, unfortunately, since I have very little idea about Thanksgiving]

IMO, best pun by Punsaris:

Show some filial *pie*ty, or I will crush you with my iron feast.


In ANvsburrito, I think both sides are quite evenly matched. Nothing else to see here…


In helltankvsthijs, I vote 1. 2 was really good, especially in the retaliation, but 1 was pretty much indubitably superior.

IMO best pun by helltank:

You’re too easy an opponent; Irish I had someone more worthy to duel with. You want to mess with me? I’ll tell you know that I’ll devour your Seoul if you do. You want Togo somewhere and hide from me? Good luck with that. Once Iran a hundred kilometers to hunt down and destroy one guy who crossed me.

[Yes. I did quote nearly the whole retaliation because every pun in there is equally cool. I also made an exception to him, not counting the questions as separate sentences.]

IMO, best pun by thijs:

VatIcan beat you! I have found a Niue NorWay to fight! I just think Uruguay! I dare you to think of a pun that could possibly beat me. You can’t? Well, Denmark the date of your death on your calendar!

[Again, needed to make an exception. These guys are goooood.]

 
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Well I didn’t expect such a one-sided vote for me in Twisted VS DAZ

 
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My holiest votes:

hamuka (1) VS T6salt (2)

I would like to have ham in my sandwich. (1)

Minnakht (1) VS RokRokRok (2)

Minnakht should win the bowl. (1)

devourer359 (1) VS funiax (2)

It’s hard to differentiate them, but devourer has an edge. (1)

GotterakaThing (1) VS CowFriend(2)

I like cow meat burgers with cow juice. (2)

MysteryMason (1) VS GottaAskTheMan (2)

Puns from both users are damp, but GATM’s are clearly damper. (1)

Feline Forumer (1) VS MyNameIsNothing (2)

Currently Feline Forumer got my hate, so let’s say (2).

TwistedCakez (1) VS DragonArcherZ (2)

DAZ, you’re one hellava good punner! (2)

puzzledan (1) VS Pulsaris (2)

Pulsaris is getting the large part of the wishbone. (2… wait, can I vote myself?)
The topic is hard. Very hard. I thought sumo is already outrageous, but this…

burrito (1) VS AdeebNafees (2)

burrito is too potty. (2)

helltank (1) VS thijs956 (2)

thijs956 Congo back to home. (1)

 
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Well… I’m done.

GG, Dragon

 
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In the Ocean battle, I vote 2. The retaliation really makes it – 2 had a much better one than 1.

In the Geographical battle, I’m quite dilemmated. The theme varies a lot between the contestants, making them both special in their own ways.
In the end, I say that 1’s retaliation was really impressive. Have my vote, 1.

In the Thanksgiving battle, I vote 2. There isn’t much to judge, but 1 is eating humble pie – if he chooses to be the loser, so be it.

In the Kitchen battle, 2 tried so hard to include those kitchen words that in the end the speech is rather… garbled. Many times I don’t even understand. At the same time, 1 is actually quite insulting and not just puny. Your puns are such a pan to hear, 2. 1 gets my vote.

In the Country Names battle, it was… sure a long battle, with so many sentences. In the end, 1 didn’t have to repeat that overdone Ghana pun – in terms of creativity, he’s superior. The Iran part was quite the clever one, as was the Seoul eating. 1 gets my vote.


In Sumo Smash, it appears we’re losing. I reckon we could have stuck with Taco Bell. Let’s just Bajk-al of us to the nearest one. I want to access the gwhac-a-mole machine, so stop being a crowd. Let the mango through.

ˈbaɪk al
bɐjˈkal