Assassination Attempt page 3

I use particle physics to generate a small scale black hole to suck you out of the pocket dimension through your decoy and destroy you by annihilating your molecular structure in the hole.

I stand out in the open, like a real man.

You stood out, so you got killed with ease (LIKE A REAL MAN.)

I shoot myself. There- I made it easy for you newbies.

I ran you over before you shot yourself….

I hide, where no one can find me. It has a life time of canned food that never rots, and I am wearing a suit that can survive anywhere.

Canned food was poisoned. Thus you die

I hide myself in an impossible maze

Annoyed by the maze’s difficulty, I plainly blow it up completely, killing you and me.

You died. I do nothing.

I hide myself in an impossible-to-find and deserted galaxy with an infinite supply of non-dry canned food that I de-poisoned pre-arrival to this galaxy and will never rot and a suit that lets me survive anywhere forever.

(Unoriginality alert)

Congrats, It’s impossible to find since it was absorbed by a black hole! and to quote…

Originally posted by ThatsANiceGuy:

You died. I do nothing.

BOOM TAKEDOWN!
I pay Deadpool, Thugs-4-Less, Chuck Norris, TF industries and The Zombie Beatles to protect me!

But I ain’t dead. Black holes don’t kill. I grab a shrinking device, and teleport inside of you. Then I drop your heart inside your bladder. Collective hilarity from me, Deadpool, Thugs-4-Less, Chuck Norris, TF industries, and Zombie Beatles ensues, leading them to protect me while I’m inside you.

I died, okay, but I come BACK FROM THE DEATH!!! and I brought evil friends… or something!!! PROFFESOR MORIARTY!!! DORMAMMU!!! MICHAEL JACKSON!!!(He’s awesome I just had to make that joke) OVER 9000 GUY!!!!!!!!!! AND AN ARMY OF UNDEAD!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WAR AGAINST THE LIVING!!!

Also, Bruce Lee, Chuck is screwed.

I destroy the whole universe.

I hide myself in an indestructible box out of space and time, with healthy food and clean and potable water,

You just destroyed yourself by destroying the universe.

I reform, and make a barrier blocking any spawning e.g. I killed thread. GG NO RE.

You die of old. TAKE THAT. T.A.K.E.T.H.A.T.

I reconstruct the universe and hive myself in a bunker

NOOOOOOO

I, with the help of a mage who revived me and himself ONLY, learn magic. I kill the mage with the magic and make the bunker implode, killing you.

Then I just bring my invincibility bubble from CaW into here and make it ENVELOP me (I can’t die from old age or suffocation.) No one can spawn. I killed thread. GG NO RE FR.

You die of hunger. BOOM

I turn into a Highlander

Originally posted by Behemoth542:

You die of hunger. BOOM

I turn into a Highlander

I didn’t die because of my invincibility bubble. BOOM.
My spiked invincibility bubble touches you, killing you.
I go to CaW to upgrade my invincibility bubble.

There’s only 1 weakness of invincibility bubble,SPIKES!

I turn into a terminator that is perfectly constructed.

I launch an electromagnetic pulse and dismantle you

I turn into a Lowlander

I kill physics and then step on you.
I wrap the corpse of physics around myself, then leave the universe.

As you leave universe, you enter an completely unknown world and die of inhalation of the poisonous “air” of that place

I hide inside a box that is along with boxes identical to mine inside a container that is with identical containers in a ship that is docked in a harbor with alot of identical ships.

I blow up the harbor. Problem solved.
I go faster than light.

You turned into pure energy. Congrats, you killed yourself. I just say I made you go faster than light so people think I killed you.

I become invisible.

I get a thermal visor and I shove a shovel and break your head. Then I dig a tomb and throw your invisible body there.

I inject myself an elixir that gives me an healing power three times faster than Wolverine’s

I annihilate you with an antimatter bomb. The destruction power is so big and so sudden that you die before you could heal.

I use a soul shifting machine and I shift my soul with Chuck Norris’ soul. I’m in Chuck Norris’ body now.

Chuck Norris is a fifty year old martial artist. A MOAB is a very large bomb. Go figure.
I use a mind control device to stop people from even wanting to kill me.

I invite you over to a party, bro – and we knock back a few beers, maybe a Long Island Iced Tea even. Then I drive you home. It’s almost predictable how there is a car crash.

…sadly, the passenger airbag was out of order. You left through the windshield and smashed into a lamppost.

I go to an airport and board a plane. It takes off.