[Story] The World is Broken

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(Could I make a story? I saw Fog make one and I have waited to make one)

The World is Broken, Thousands of years of war by the Mutants have scar’d the land with despair and shattered souls within the Earths heavenly body. Jake awakens from the 3rd War of the 2011 War of Europe, he hears one of his generals talking to some others, “We have took back Europe, North America, and west Asia. We need to push through Russia and tear there foundation apart from the land of men. Hoaah!” He gets up, brushes his teeth and prepares for his Recon team to get set off. “Where are we gonna go next sir?” Jake says with enthusiasm, his leading officer replies. "Well your gonna go to Krochoskavisch, Russia you need to check if its Infected or not, we have heard reports that, maybe a Mutant Training Facility is there so be prepared.

After about 2 hours of preparing they get sent out, one of Jakes partners ask, "So where we going chief? Jake tells one of his partners, “Where gonna scout if this Town in Russia having a Military Facility used by the Mutants for training.”

[ More Later please Rate ]

 
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Originally posted by rokun:

(Could I make a story? I saw Fog make one and I have waited to make one)

The World is Broken, Thousands of years of war by the Mutants have scar’d the land with despair and shattered souls within the Earth’s heavenly body. Jake awakens from the 3rd War of the 2011 War of Europe, he hears one of his generals talking to some others, “We have taken back Europe, North America, and west Asia. We need to push through Russia and tear their foundation apart from the land of men. Hoaah!” He gets up, brushes his teeth and prepares for his Recon team to get sent off. “Where are we gonna go next sir?” Jake says with enthusiasm, his leading officer replies. "Well you’re gonna go to Krochoskavisch, Russia. You need to check if its Infected or not, we have heard reports that, maybe a Mutant Training Facility is there so be prepared.

After about 2 hours of preparing they get sent out. One of Jake’s partners ask, "So where we going chief? Jake tells him, “We’re gonna scout if this town in Russia has a Military Facility used by the Mutants for training.”

[ More Later please Rate ]

The Grammar Police have stuck. Other than that, it sounds pretty good. I look forward to the rest of your thrilling tale.

 
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so you know, grammar mistakes are allowed in quotes. cause all dem people can talk wit dere accent when deys is speakin!

 
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I know, I left some that I have actually heard people say. I changed the ones that were just completely wrong. Sorry rokun.

 
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Not even full grammar Nazi. Other than that, a touch lack in details, but otherwise fulfilling as an intro.

Originally posted by SilentSam:
Originally posted by rokun:

(Could I make a story? I saw Fog make one and I have waited to make one)


The World is Broken, Thousands of years of war by the Mutants have scarred the land with despair and shattered souls within the Earth’s heavenly body. Jake awakens from the 3rd War of the 2011 War of Europe, he hears one of his generals talking to some others, “We have taken back Europe, North America, and west Asia. We need to push through Russia and tear their foundation apart from the land of men. Hoaah!” He gets up, brushes his teeth and prepares for his Recon team to get sent off. “Where are we gonna go next sir?” Jake says with enthusiasm, his leading officer replies. "Well you’re gonna go to Krochoskavisch, Russia. You need to check if its Infected or not, we have heard reports that, maybe a Mutant Training Facility is there so be prepared.


After about 2 hours of preparing they get sent out. One of Jake’s partners ask, "So where we going chief? Jake tells one of his partners, “We’re gonna scout if this town in Russia has a Military Facility used by the Mutants for training.”

[ More Later please Rate ]


The Grammar Police have stuck. Other than that, it sounds pretty good. I look forward to the rest of your thrilling tale.

More, but I’m not sure if they are in upper case for a reason or not. I.E. Recon (specific name, or no?)

 
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People I did this in a hurry please don’t go all rage Grammar Nazi on me, thank you. Also, It’s an intro, not like Fog where he squeezes tons of them inside his words I kept it short and decent enouqh that someone can picturize it in their mind while still actually not picturizing thousands of stuff happening like a meteor shower and a girl.

 
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Sorry. It bothered me.