Live, Die, Die Live and Die. page 2

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Does CPR on you, forcing you to breath
takes a sub to the deepest part of the ocean and dies from the implosion

 
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The “ocean” was really just a big swimming pool so your ok
I pick a fight with chuck norris.

 
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Chuck Norris decides you’re not worth dying by his awesomeness.
I somehow warp myself to Kings Quest I and jump into the water at the beginning of the game.

 
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It’s just a game, you can’t die.
I play in the traffic.

 
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There’s a traffic jam in the works.
I turn invisible and walk onto the track of a Nascar race in progress.

 
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The Nascar race was cancelled because of the traffic jam.
I jump off a cliff.

 
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the cliff was only 10 feet high and there was a lake below you
i jump into a whales mouth :P

 
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It’s a blue whale, so the baleen stops you from advancing.
I ingest cyanide.

 
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But i had replaced the tapes on the bottle sides. Cyanide was my pee!

I swallow a time bomb, timed to blow in 30 seconds.

 
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The time bomb is only powerful enough to blow apart a tiny rock about 3 milimeters in diameter.
I stand under a nuke as it explodes.

 
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The nuke was a toy, it just comes up a flag that goes “BOOM!!!”.
I get drunk, set myself on fire, cut my wrists, tie a rope around my neck and jump off a cliff.

 
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You wake up with hell of a hangover (Only “I get drunk” was real)

I swallow time bomb, timed to blow in 30second with power that could wipe out china!

 
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the bomb is too big to swallow so i take it out of your mouth and catapult it with a very powerful catapult to china
i tie myself to a bomb that just got dropped by an airplane

 
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The fuse on the bomb blows out from the winds from falling, and I build a giant ramp to catch you.

I drop a giant anvil on myself.

 
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I make a call to Magneto just before Anvil hits your head.

I swallow time bomb, timed to blow in 30second with power that could wipe out china! This bomb also has immunity against catapults, and its small enough to fit in my mouth.

 
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I put on the Mask, then eat the bomb.
’That’s one spicy meatball!’

I fire my lazor with a taco in my mouth. Since tacoes are made of fail, the lazor reverses, causing me to swallow it, fire the royal rainbow and grow to about 500 times my original size, which somehow kills me.

 
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I go back in time and steal the lazor, making sure none of that ever happens.

I go back in time and kill myself from three weeks ago, which causes time to encase the paradox and all related in a temporal bubble as self-defense. I am caught in the temporal bubble, which pretty much removes me from the flow of time completely. Eventually, the time bubble decays, and all the built-up time rushes in. I die from old age.

(Massive confusion FTW!)

 
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You’re dreaming.
I kill my grandmother 50 years ago, when she was 5.

 
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You killed your grandmothers twin,so you were still born
I Fly into an airplanes engine

 
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The airplane is not moving, so hah.

I overeat myself to death.

 
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The temperature goes up to 30 Degrees( C )

I travel to the sun

 
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I get kanye west to interrupt your travel and send you back to earth.

I conceal myself in a room with no doors or windows. The room has a walls 100ft thick with concrete, and is filling up with water very fast.

 
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you die
but the ceiling is only 1 inch so i use a drill to get you out
i jump into a 1000 ft hole

 
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i send a domo to save you… it brings you back then as your safe it eats me…

 
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I shoot the domo in the head before it eats you and yell, “BOOM HEADSHOT!”

I decide to start juggling several sharp knives, and lose control of them all, looking up as they all come falling down on me.