Live, Die, Die Live and Die. page 89

We get you to the ER to get your stomach pumped.

I put my genitals into a meat grinder and is currently bleeding to death.

I Take you to the ER to get you stitched
I land on the sun

I grab you a inch before you touch it, and take you back to earth.
I go in a room, lock the door, get a chainsaw and have somebody cut my head into 5 pieces.

i am that somebody and take that chainsaw to my room and let the robots of robot wars kill me

I give you an injection that makes you realize the robots aren’t real, and you are dreaming.

I roll in a pile of used diabetic needles.

I give you an emergency blood transfusion and slap on a million band-aids.

It was with my blood.

Since you did not attempt to kill yourself, I have decided to help the game continue.

I start drinking many gallons of water in an attempt to kill myself; I do this within a locked, bulletproof room.

You are hydrated.

I freeze myself with nitrogen then fall into a volcano, vaporizing me and my steam self is captured in a super secret container in a super secret place on the other side of the galaxy.

Due to the fact the volcano is located at 0,0,0, you teleport to the same spot. The nitrogen stops you from melting and you are preserved into the jar just long enough to escape and escape unharmed. The jar was hidden into the volcano and it spat you out.

I hang myself while on fire and at the same time attempt to stab myself.

You are in 1 ft. deep water that puts out the fire you didn’t attach the rope to anything and you try to use a rubber chicken to stab yourself

I Hire a mob boss to kill me

The mob boss was an actual MOB (Troll level 6). However, your defence is so freaking high it causes the attack to heal you.
I attempt suicide by going to JUSTIN BIEBER’S LOUDEST CONCERT EVER. Because he sucks.

I get a sniper rifle and go up to the nearest rooftop and shoot Beiber in the face right before he starts singing.

I am stuck on a rooftop and surrounded by cops and SWAT trying to apprehend me with nothing but a sniper rifle.

I yell out that you are not the suspect and they all leave.

I fell of the curb, and got sucked into a black hole, where I got eaten by a dragon that has undefeatable traits.

That dragon eventually ate the universe, leaving you space to live.

I poison myself with the antidote sitting right in my lap.

You develop common sense and drink the antidote.

I jump of a cliff but gravity was inverted so I fell up into space.

Gravity assumes a periodicity of inversion, so you regularly oscillate from falling downwards to upwards in a never-ending cycle, with no one cycle being long enough to plummet one into either the ground or the sky. If you die, it won’t be by falling into space – my job here is done.

I simultaneously strangulate and electrocute myself by an unprotected wire – the fibers are exposed and in contact with my uncovered skin.

The shock was very, very small…….. So it did nothing. As for chocking, the wire snapped.
I decide to impale my head with a massive space spike big enough to destroy…. ME. And 50 miles of my suroundings. Also, it’s headed at 600 mph.

You aimed it the opposite way.

My lungs exploded.

The lungs that exploded was actually from a cadaver and was in a glass jar, so it just creates a big mess.

A man bursts out my bathroom with a .44 Magnum and starts shooting at me.

You start running. Since you are the main character, the bullets always seem to miss you. You burst out of your house which explodes with crazy fighters flying out everywhere shooting at tanks blowing stuff up and with fire and helicopters and everything! :D Like an action movie!
I kill myself by hiring a group of crazy girls to claw my face off.

I battle Darth Vader, and I win!

I bore myself to death

I save you by singing for you but at what price? (I am not responsible for any deaths by bad singing)

I listen to the music from Farm of Souls until I die

I attack your computer with a pickaxe, destroying it

I eat myself

You throw yourself up.

I am suddenly JFK and am in Dallas and Lee Harvey Oswald is about to shoot me.