Live, Die, Die Live and Die. page 92

Originally posted by mosemizrahi:

Originally posted by thedude0:

you are too large to fit into the shredder and don’t die
I ask the joker to kill me. He obliges

Hey, I said I was divided to pieces. Anyway, I call Batman.
I burn myself with an unextingusihable fire.

you still try to fall into a shredder and fail so you didn’t die

The fire isn’t hot enough to kill you and you happen to fall into a bucket of cold water
I walk into the mouth of godzilla

Godzilla decides you are not worth eating and spits you out.

I am crushed under a 1000 ton anvil which came for the sky really fast.

Originally posted by mosemizrahi:

Godzilla decides you are not worth eating and spits you out.

I am crushed under a 1000 ton anvil which came for the sky really fast.

The anvil creates air pressure which bounces is up into space!
I randomly explode. (Okay not randomly, there’s like 500 sticks of tnt I lit.)

The explosion somehow happens inwards, not swelling but shrinking, so you don’t even notice the explosion.

I cut my neck with a chainsaw. My head and my body are two separate pieces now.

It was an ice scuplture you were making, but the mistakes happen.

I fall into a pit of spikes.

they are hedgehog spikes so they are only displeasing

I jump into a dragon’s mouth

The dragon doesn’t eat you,but it throws up.

I hire a terminator to kill me

The terminator is a flawed model so it does stupid things like jumping for no reason then it explodes.

I jump into a real, active volcano.

You jump so low that you doesn’t fall into the volcano.

I suffocate in the sea

A boat sees you drowning and a diver form the boat saves you.

I skydive from 10000 m without a parachute or something to slow me down.

You skydive from 10000 meters… to 99999.99 meters.
I go lava-boating.

The lava is hardened.

I got blasted by a very powerful magic

Healing magic, perhaps?
Whatever, the rock was still so hot it incinerated me. I AM A GHOST, LULZ ENSUE!

a bucket of water falls over the lava pit saving you life
I ask a yordle to kill me

I kill yordle before he kills you.

I plunge a knife into my gut, but before doing so, I eat and drink all the medicines I can find, finishing myself off with a bullet to the head.

Rubber knives and rubber guts can be fun to play with when you are hooked on placeboes, almost as fun as plastic bullets in toy guns.

I jump into a pool of sharks with lazers strapped to their heads.

The sharks are babies which are 30 cm at most, and they don’t know how to use their lasers.

I take off my spacesuit on the Moon.

Lucky you are in a dome with plentiful of air in it

I am in that dome too and suddenly, there’s a hole in it

I repair the hole before you die
I stay outside the dome without a spacesuit, sacrificing my life to save yours

Luckily our dome was in a bigger dome so you were in the big dome and you don’t have to sacrifice your life now.

I dive into an acid pool.

luckily the acid is only ph 6 so you don’t die
I put a real gun to my head and pull the trigger, killing myself with a real bullet

You were wearing a very thick helmet so nothing happen

I’m cut in half by a slicer machine.

It was a clay model of yourself, bad luck
I jump on a dalek so it kills me

I call the Doctor, the Dalek decides that you are unimportant and goes after the Doctor. Besides, Daleks have their guns on their faces, so it wouldn’t be able to kill you because you were on top of it.

you don’t kill yourself
I jump into a black hole