Live, Die, Die Live and Die. page 94

3452 posts

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Your tinfoil hat is showing, BTW.
Congrats on getting ****ed by penguins!
The Premier of China’s bodyguards killed me anyway, so I don’t have to post a suicide attempt.
UPDATE: Ninjaaaa

 
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No they didn’t kill you because your bowie knife’s disappearance

A building falls on me.

 
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it was plastic

I eat alligator meat and drink some 7UP

 
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Alligator meat is chewy, but not toxic (as far as I’m concerned).
I (still by the premier of China) kick him in the balls and stab him in the arm.

 
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He can’t do anything now because of his current situation, he can’t even call other people, so I kidnap you and take you somewhere faar away from the premier of China.

I’m stuck in a room with no air, I can’t go out and nobody knows that I’m stuck in that room. The room is in a perfectly safe place.

 
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An earthquake breaks open the room.
I jump into the (running) jet engine of a 747.

 
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Its made of plastic and its running REALLY slow,like 24 hours=1 spin

A great white shark chases me in the deep sea.No one knows I’m in there

 
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you realise the shark is a toy shark

i let robots of robot wars kill me and let a tank to run me over to finish me off

 
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I send EMP waves to where you are, so all robots and the tank are disabled.

100 men are shooting at me at the same time with a machine gun, and I’m not protected in any way.

 
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Somehow,the machine guns are broken and the bullets doesn’t go so far.

I fall into a pit of spike

 
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…spike pillows
I fall into a pit of stupidity that made me so stupid I kill myself.

 
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Originally posted by mosemizrahi:

The premier of China looks you weirdly because of the finger you gave, but nothing happens. (Lol I don’t know what the premier of China or the finger is.)

The finger is the middle finger, but in china, your pinkie is DAT FINGAR.

 
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The Pit of Stupidity do make you so stupid that you kill yourself…in your dream.Do this count?

A Cosmic Monolith blast me with its laser.

 
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It’s only a flashlight.
Narwhals… don’t let them touch your balls… whoops

 
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A narwhal touched your balls. Ok, that was weird. But nothing happens.

I’m being cooked in an oven which is very hot (3000 C) for 8 hours.

 
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i go back in time to stop you.
i jump in a pool of piranas

 
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The piranhas are vegans
I use a teleporter and teleport into a rock

 
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the rock was hollow.
i jump into boiling acid

 
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I pull the drain plug.

I don’t forward the scary chain email and I burn up into dust.

 
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I delete System32 from your computer, so the chain email can’t be read, therefore making it invalid.

I drive to Texas with an Obama bumper sticker.

 
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it falls off before you get to texas
I save a space monkey wich then eats me

 
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You were moldy, so the monkey regurgitates you.

I forget to lock my door.

 
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Originally posted by inmonkeyness:

You were moldy, so the monkey regurgitates you.

I forget to lock my door.

How dare you suggest that I am in any way mouldy!;)

no-one notices that your door is unlocked
i jump fall into the deepest sea in the world and drown

 
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A coast guard helicopter spots you as you enter the water and immediately sends a person to save you.
I shoot myself in the head with a pistol.

 
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I attach a magnet to back of the gun so the bullet doesn’t go out.

I hire lots of mercenaries to kill me.