Live, Die, Die Live and Die. page 94

I manipulate the gravity,so you doesn’t fall in there.

A pirate ship shoots me with REAL,STEEL Cannonball

Your tinfoil hat is showing, BTW.
Congrats on getting ****ed by penguins!
The Premier of China’s bodyguards killed me anyway, so I don’t have to post a suicide attempt.
UPDATE: Ninjaaaa

No they didn’t kill you because your bowie knife’s disappearance

A building falls on me.

it was plastic

I eat alligator meat and drink some 7UP

Alligator meat is chewy, but not toxic (as far as I’m concerned).
I (still by the premier of China) kick him in the balls and stab him in the arm.

He can’t do anything now because of his current situation, he can’t even call other people, so I kidnap you and take you somewhere faar away from the premier of China.

I’m stuck in a room with no air, I can’t go out and nobody knows that I’m stuck in that room. The room is in a perfectly safe place.

An earthquake breaks open the room.
I jump into the (running) jet engine of a 747.

Its made of plastic and its running REALLY slow,like 24 hours=1 spin

A great white shark chases me in the deep sea.No one knows I’m in there

you realise the shark is a toy shark

i let robots of robot wars kill me and let a tank to run me over to finish me off

I send EMP waves to where you are, so all robots and the tank are disabled.

100 men are shooting at me at the same time with a machine gun, and I’m not protected in any way.

Somehow,the machine guns are broken and the bullets doesn’t go so far.

I fall into a pit of spike

…spike pillows
I fall into a pit of stupidity that made me so stupid I kill myself.

Originally posted by mosemizrahi:

The premier of China looks you weirdly because of the finger you gave, but nothing happens. (Lol I don’t know what the premier of China or the finger is.)

The finger is the middle finger, but in china, your pinkie is DAT FINGAR.

The Pit of Stupidity do make you so stupid that you kill yourself…in your dream.Do this count?

A Cosmic Monolith blast me with its laser.

It’s only a flashlight.
Narwhals… don’t let them touch your balls… whoops

A narwhal touched your balls. Ok, that was weird. But nothing happens.

I’m being cooked in an oven which is very hot (3000 C) for 8 hours.

i go back in time to stop you.
i jump in a pool of piranas

The piranhas are vegans
I use a teleporter and teleport into a rock

the rock was hollow.
i jump into boiling acid

I pull the drain plug.

I don’t forward the scary chain email and I burn up into dust.

I delete System32 from your computer, so the chain email can’t be read, therefore making it invalid.

I drive to Texas with an Obama bumper sticker.

it falls off before you get to texas
I save a space monkey wich then eats me

You were moldy, so the monkey regurgitates you.

I forget to lock my door.

Originally posted by inmonkeyness:

You were moldy, so the monkey regurgitates you.

I forget to lock my door.

How dare you suggest that I am in any way mouldy!;)

no-one notices that your door is unlocked
i jump fall into the deepest sea in the world and drown

A coast guard helicopter spots you as you enter the water and immediately sends a person to save you.
I shoot myself in the head with a pistol.