Mongs Bar(night 1) page 36

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Originally posted by CoolNoah23:

Makei

I look over at a person who comes in asking for something then running back out…“Eh, people these days, can’t even handle a tank parking in a bar….” I say to Pyro, then I turn to Mong and tell him to give everyone a shot of beer on me. I then hand him a 100$ bill.

Elmo

Whoa buddy, I already gave everyone a juicy juice, back off, these are my peeps!

 
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Butch (yep, still there.) “There’s only one way to settle this…. FIIIIIGHT!”
Random ninja Jumps into bar and kicks butch. “Only true master of fight can declare battle to happen…” (cue extremely wise/constipated look.)

 
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Makei

I grab my gun out and shoot Elmo in the face. Then I go back to drinking my beer and nodding whenever Pyro talks to me.

 
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Announcer “Makei is victorious!”
Pyro Mumbles (or mpphles) something and turns to bar, and makes much mpphing and wild gestures to Mong, as if asking for something.
(Meanwhile, somewhere, lost in spaaaace…)
Rincewind “So, you’re sure this will work?”
Ridcully “Of course not, if we were sure we wouldn’t be using y…” Ponder Stibbons coughs loudly. “yogurt instead of milk for this, but you’ll be fine. Okay chaps, start the ritual!”
(back at the bar.)
Soldier “What was that noise?”
Engineer “It sounded like a magic ritual going horribly wrong.” Rincewinf stumbles in, looking slightly charred.
Rincewind “C-c-can I get a drink?”

 
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Makei

I look over to the burnt man and walk over to him. “Donc, ce qui s’est passé pour vous?” I ask him.

 
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Rincewind He blinks at Makei, than says: “Ridculle qui m’est arrivé.”
Soldier “Ai-je dire que nous étions autorisés à changer de langue?”

 
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Makei

“Rudculle? Qui est-ce?” I ask the man as I walk him to the bar and have him sit on a barstool.

(Do you actually know french? I know a little bit..)

 
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(nope, translating.)
Rincewind “Ridcully happened to me. Let’s speak Morporkian, if you know it.”

 
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Elmo

Gets back up….

Then pulls out a C-4 you are all gonna DIE!

5 minute until countdown.If you dont say that you ran out of the bar in 5 minutes exactly then you are doomed. muahaha

 
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all of my characters run out of the bar.

 
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Makei

Runs out of the bar.

 
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Elmo

Looks at the people running out of the bar.

“Finally I have the place to myself!” Drinks a juicy juice

 
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all characters come back in.
Wiiwonder “Elmo, you have to stop doing that, otherwise we’ll have to call the…” The door slams open.
Guy in door "THE CHARACTER INSPECTOR! I’ve just come from “retarded inspectors be us”, so I’m obviously retarded." Pulls out machine gun and randomly fires at Elmo.

 
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Makei

I come back into the bar and then stab Elmo in the head with my sword…..40000000 times. and then put a grenade in his mouth.

 
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Character Inspector Stops shooting long enough to say. “Your contract is terminated, Elmo.”

 
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Rann(dolph) (I changed the name)

Knows that C4 is useless without primer cord. Thank Mythbusters for this knowledge. There is no cord, so the bomb is inoperable!

 
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Louis “Pills here? PIIIIIILS!” Flies into bar and raids medicine cabinet.

 
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Drugged up hallucination

“Louis, you must kill the natives to the bar, they are laughing at you right now”.

 
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Louis “No, you’re not real!”
Francis “Louis, you look like shit.” (Louis kicks francis between the legs and he flies through the ceiling.)
(Meanwhile, a space station is in orbit of earth)
Astronaut. “Hey, there’s something coming from earth towards us at high speeds…”
Astronaut 2ORLY?”
Astronaut 1YARLY!” (francis crashes into station.)
Francis “Phew, good thing I’m indestructible.”

 
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Drugged up hallucination

“Louis, you have to believe me for I am… Your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather”.

 
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LouisNOOOOOO! That’s not true! that’s impossible!”
Bill “You know what’s impossible? Francis being smart is impossible!” (francis crashes into ground.
Francis “Phew, good thing I’m indestructible.”
Seth “The possibility of that statement being correct is extremly low.”

 
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Drugged up hallucination

But if I wasn’t your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather then how do I have the key to the family crypt?

 
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LouisSTFU! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!”
(Meanwhile, some distance outside the bar.)
Smoker “So… we just, like, sit around until the next match, or whatever.”
Hunter “Pretty much.”
Boomer “Guys, there’s a bar over there. Wanna check it out.”
Smoker “sure.”
Hunter “Somebody go wake emo girl up. I did it last time.” (Smoker goes over to witch)
Smoker “Hello? Witch? Anybody home.” Pokes witch.
(back in bar, a message flashes on the television.) Smoker has startled the witch! At this point, smoker crashes through the wall.

 
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Drugged up hallucination

It’s under the sink

 
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LouisSILENCE! I KEEL U!” Throws pills at hallucination.