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Writing feedback

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avatar for conld conld 313 posts
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I would like some feedback on this story I wrote:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H2gVFDXtcqkpwcY7OhIQv6yRWdlmMeDcAohkwZf8qWg/edit
It has been edited several times, but I would like some critique on how to make this better because if no one gives me tips I can’t get better. Other writers may also post their stories to get feedback as well.

 
avatar for TheWhiteAngel TheWhiteAngel 940 posts
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Uh… I don’t think you should really just pop your own story in the thread of someone else’s without any relevance whatsoever. LOL.