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So, I’d like to note before you read this and say something along the lines of “What is going on here? Where’s the ending? Just… what? WHAT?”, this is not the full story; This is meant to be a chapter 1 among many.
I am writing this story for my creative writing class, so I welcome your constructive criticism. I’d really love to improve it. Anyway, thanks for your time, and enjoy the story!
It was a cloudy day. Beautiful, really. That day would also soon be known as the worst day of my life. There had been a light drizzle earlier, but the clouds must have been tired at the moment. My legs hurt from the weight of the camera on my shoulder. We were in a cool, shady forest. The trees stood relatively tall over me, and droplets of water could be heard dripping off the bright green leaves. The ground was covered in twigs and leaves, with brush poking out between them. Dave was fastening a motion activated camera to a tree. Chip was setting up net traps, just in case. I liked Chip. He was a little hefty, but I wouldn’t have called him obese. He had dark brown hair, and always wore a dark blue jacket, when he was outside. Chip was always pretty friendly to everybody, and let me set me set up a trap every once and a while. I think I would miss him more than anybody else on the team.
“Oh my gosh.”
I looked over to my crew mate, Sarah.
“Footprints, They look authentic, too!” she said in a voice raised just enough for everybody in the group to hear.
I gathered my strength, and pulled my camera upward, in the direction her finger was pointing.
“My god!” cried Chip, “These do look real!”
They looked at me, but I didn’t speak; I didn’t need to. They could tell by the look on my sharply carved face, that I was on the same boat as they were. We began following the footprints, at a slow pace. They weren’t fading. Our speed walking escalated into a run, then a sprint, until we were finally galloping in through the trail of those wonderfully clear impressions. They were deep, and extremely wide. Far larger than any ape we had ever seen, which only confirmed our suspicions. We didn’t have time to make a cast of them; The mud in which they were indented in was wet, and thus fresh. It was close.
‘We might even actually see it in person. We might actually get photographic evidence of a live gigantabigigus!’ I had thought. That was my last shred of enthusiasm I can remember. Now the idea seems a grim as the events following.
Yes, that’s right I was one of those ‘Big Foot’ nuts. I’m not proud of it, but I couldn’t just ignore everything I’d seen as a camera man for my colleagues- my friends. And soon enough, you wouldn’t be able to do so, either.
My legs were in agonizing pain, but I wasn’t stopping now. Not when we were so close. Chip was having trouble keeping up, and eventually drifted behind, to my side. Both our feet were pounding on the ground. Chip was breathing heavily, as people of his build often do when sprinting at the speeds we were. We weren’t going to quit shaking the crumbling rubble that were our legs, though. We were determined to reach our destination! It felt like hours. Tree after tree blurred around us. Chip and I had completely lost sight of Sarah and the others.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH GOD!”
Chip and I looked at each other, franticly. With the help of a tsunami adrenalin, we multiplied our speed to five times of what it had been prior.
We heard sounds. Terrifying sounds. Terrifying, horrible, DISGOUSTING sounds. I-I can’t go into it, but it wasn’t the worst thing my senses would experience that day…
“WHY WHY WH- AAAaAaaAAAAAAH!”
I knew by now that Dave hadn’t simply spotted a tree spider. Something was legitimately, really, really wrong. It was time to drop the camera. I winced as the sound of my lense shattering, crept into my ears from behind me.
We bolted into the clearing. The golden sunlight flooded through the clouds, into this space.
My first thought was that it was amazing how beautiful this clearing was, but I instantly became ashamed of that previous thought, when my eyes followed the slivers of sunlight down to the terrors below.
There sat an enormous, ape-type-creature with eyes illuminating feint red light, enormous claws, and the top half of my friend in its mouth. Blood and organs splattered across the ground. I could see limbs, and pieces of my friends’ faces on the ground. Sarah’s neck could- could… I can’t keep talking about this. I- I- I… just can’t… I-I’m just going to skip these next couple moments, before something snaps inside of me, and I have another flashback…
I heard a scream, beside me, but I didn’t look over; I was too busy vomiting on the floor.
The hideous monster, which had just viciously murdered my entire crew with no remorse, looked over. My body froze in a slur of terror and shock. My retinas barely processed more than a couple frames of vision before the beast had sprinted across the dome of trees, in which we stood. Mud flew to the end of the sky, behind it, splattering the already blood-soaked trunks, which stood as a podium for the brush that towered over us. I tilted my head up, forty degrees. Chip’s head was gone. Gravity slowly pulled his limp body in my arms. The creature, I oh so despised at this point, stood over me, l swaying back and forth. I could have sworn it had a smirk on its face. …This monster was smirking. That unspeakably evil FREAK OF NATURE was enjoying this. IT HAD JUST KILLED MY FRIENDS AND LOVED EVERY IMENSLEY DISPICABLE IT. Chip’s arms slid from my grasp, with the rest of his body to the floor. IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE, ENJOYING MY PAIN! I charged towards it, tears streaming down my face. Before I even reached it, it fell down…
Behind it sat a man. He made a snarky, distasteful remark, but it didn’t offend me enough to say anything, or even recollect the words which slid from his lips at the time. I was far too busy watching the memory wrapping chains around all the good memories I had of times on the show, and then melting the key.
The muscles in my legs contracted, forcing me to my knees.
“Your eye-“ I heard him say from above me.
My palms slammed into my eyes, as I wept a mixture of blood and tears uncontrollably- for my own pain, and my friends’ pain.
It really had been the worst day of my strange, strange life.
I’ll assume that you haven’t corrected any of the mistakes in this version and point them out, and laugh at you. :)
No but in all seriousness, this is pretty good and I enjoyed reading it.
‘a grim’ → “as grim”
‘tsunami adrenalin’ → “tsunami of adrenaline”
‘DISGOUSTING’ → “DISGUSTING”
‘LOVED EVERY IMENSLEY DISPICABLE IT’ → “WHAT?” Seriously though, what was this supposed to be?