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[NSFW] adv0catus's stories page 2

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Rip, adv0. No more of these stories. :(

 
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Confessions From A Rooftop – Chapter 3

I’m in jail.

Yup, the cop arrested me and I went before a judge and was sentenced to 3 years in federal minimum security. It’s not that bad, though. I mean, it’s jail, so it sucks. But it could be a lot worse. It’s minimum security, so we get a lot more freedom. At first, I was stuffed into this small room with 5 other guys. After a few weeks in there, I was moved to a more permanent spot, with a room mate.

We get along well, I tend to keep to myself, but that doesn’t bother anyone. It’s not like you see in movies and stuff. Everyone just kind of does their own thing, no one wants to ruin what they’ve got. It’s minimum security, so it’s pretty lax all around. There’s always the people that are going to cause trouble, but for the most part if you respect the guards then they don’t make your life hell.

I was really worried at first, terrified, even. Due to the “brutal nature” of my crime, I was tried as an adult. But I explained everything that had happened to me, so the judge took pity on me. That’s why I got only 3 years and am in minimum security. But, because of me being considered an adult, I’m the youngest one here. I’ve seen a few of the older guys stare at me for a little too long, but overall, I’ve had no problems. No one is in here for kids-stuff, so I feel safer. A fair few are parents, and see their kids regularly in visiting times. They’re the nicest, I guess they feel a parental bond to me. They treat me nice and look out for me.

Speaking of visiting hours. I have no one on my permissions list and no one has tried to see me… It’s kind of depressing, but it’s just about the only sore spot in my life, right now. There’s another one, but I’ll get to him, later.

We’re all assigned duties, jobs, to keep us occupied and out of trouble. We get paid, too, but it’s such an insignificant amount that it basically doesn’t matter. I think someone did the math and if you worked 40 hours, 5 days a week for an entire year, before any taxes you’ll make like… $300 a year. That’s taking no breaks for anything, or holidays off. In my 3 years working full time, I’ll be lucky to walk away with $1,000, which is kind of shitty. But, I’m hoping to get some sort of education out of it, finish high school or something.

Anyways, so my job. I requested it specifically and they approved it because they thought it would help, but I get to sweep the roof. It requires special access, so I have to have a guard with me at all times, but it’s no big deal. Apparently, I’m a suicide risk, so I’m not allowed near the edges of the roof. They let me do it, anyways, but they keep an extra close eye on me and I need to tell them when I’m doing it.

It’s no big deal, though. Being up there on the roof keeps me sane, and they know it, I think. Sometimes I’ll stop in the middle of working and just meditate. The first time, the guard got kind of upset, but after the first time, he let me be. It’s always the same one and thankfully we get along pretty well. The last few times, he’s left me alone up there for a few minutes. It’s really nice.

I’ve been here for a few months now, and am really getting settled in. I spend a lot of my time reading and it’s very relaxing and mellow. I’ve been reading a lot lately, fully taking advantage of the library.

One Saturday evening, I was laying in my bunk, reading.

“Been reading all day, have you?” My roof guard asked me, leaning against the concrete wall.

“Yes, sir. I have. Why do you ask?”

“Haven’t you noticed the weather all day?”

I shook my head no, confused by the question.

“It’s been shitty weather all day. Leaves and crap all over the place. You know how the Warden likes his jail clean. You’ll get over time.”

I put my book down, smiled and followed him. I didn’t care about the over time, it’s not like it made much of a difference. The only other part of the jail I’d been to today was the mess hall. It doesn’t have windows, though, so there was no way for me to know what the weather was like. I still was feeling a little off today, so I guess my mood was subconsciously like the weather. Either way, time up there, to meditate would be nice.

We reached the access door and the guard handed me the broom. He shoved it against my chest and grabbed my shoulder.

“Listen now. This isn’t part of your regularly scheduled hours up here, so I’m supposed to be doing other stuff right now, besides watching you. You seem like a good kid and you’re smart enough not to mess this up. I’m going to be leaving you alone up here for a while. Don’t, I repeat, do not go near the edges. Leave a 6 foot gap between you and them. You can finish them off when I get back. I’ll leave this room jammed open, in case you need to go for any reason. But if I find you are making a run for it, I’ll shoot you myself.” As he said the last bit, he clutched his gun.

I nodded and took the broom from him, not saying anything. I quietly began to sweep all the leaves into piles. I was in absolutely no rush, so I was doing it very lazily. After a while, I had a nice patch cleared off, so I decided to meditate. Sitting cross legged, I closed my eyes and began to clear my mind. I don’t know how long I was like this when I heard the door open.

“I’m sorry, sir. I was just sitting for a mo- .. Oh, it’s you.”

Shit, shit, shit.

“Oh, it’s me? You say. Jesus, you faggot. What the fuck is the matter with you?”

“Go away, leave me alone, Wicker.”

So, the other bad thing I mentioned? Yeah, it’s a guy called Wicker. He’s in his early 20s, probably about 23. He shaved all his hair off and has all sorts of tattoos all over his arms. He’s basically a KKK Neo-Nazi kinda guy. Really quality human being, if you know what I mean. Not sure what he did or how he landed in minimum. The dude’s insane, though. He hates gays, probably more than black people or anyone else. He’s never really given me trouble before, except a shove in passing, some harsh words or a deathly stare. Him being up here, alone, with me on the roof, is bad, though. Really, really bad.

“Why should I go away? I got me a friend here, that wants to play with you.” As Wicker is saying this to me, he has a sneer on his face. He rolls up his sleeve and pulls out a shank. A razor blade melted into a tooth brush handle.

I grabbed the broom and held it by the end. Frantically, I was swinging the handle back and forth, to keep him away from me. He kept walking towards me, I kept backing up.

I looked back and noticed I was at the edge of the roof. He kept walking towards me, so all I could do was try hitting him with the wooden handle. After making contact with his arms a few times, he grabbed the handle and pulled the broom out of my hands.

He kept approaching me, now defenseless against his blade. He swung it back and forth, getting closer and closer to my face. Like what seems to happen to me every time I’m in a life or death situation, my mind went blank. It was over before the blink of an eye.

 
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A Life So Hard - Chapter 3

*Buzz*

*Buzz*

*Buzz*

I groaned and reached over to turn off my alarm clock. Rubbing my eyes, I saw it was 6:30 AM, and I was not impressed. I hit the off button and, with a sigh, rested my head back on my pillow. Rain woke up from all the disturbance and gave a meow to say good morning.

“Hello Rain.” I said out loud. Sometimes I talked to her, wishing she could reply back. She’s been my best friend, and my only friend, for so long, that it tends to get really lonely. I try not to let the loneliness get to me, and any outsider would probably never guess, but deep down it tore apart my soul. “Time to get up, I suppose.”

She head butted me in reply, as if to say, “Yes, you should. Get your ass out of bed. By the way, I love you.”

With another groan (I’m not a morning person, if you couldn’t tell already) I got out of bed and started my morning routine. Thankfully, by the time I had finished breakfast, I had woken up enough that I could at least have a decent conversation. Elizabeth was asking me about school as I had breakfast. She kept asking me questions about how I felt and if I was excited. After a few grunts she got the hint that I didn’t want to talk about it and left me be.

With my stomach satisfied, I went to have a shower. Once the water’s temperature was just right, I began to strip off my pajamas. Once I was completely naked I stepped in and savored the feeling of the warm water hitting my smooth, exposed skin. I just stood there for a few minutes, letting the warmth of the water soak in and sooth me. My thoughts began to drift, so I quickly grabbed the soap to bring me back to reality. I moved my hand over my bare chest. I was skinny, but I had a nice, well-defined chest. My mind began to drift again as I began to soap up my legs. By the time my hand was back over my stomach, rubbing soap on it, I was thinking about Brian again.

I thought about his eyes, and how they had sparkled. I thought about his face and how cute it was. Without realizing what I was doing, my soap covered hand was slowly beginning to rub up and down my shaft. As I began to slowly mentally undress him, the motion of my soapy hand steadily increased in speed. By the time he was naked and in the shower with me, my hand was moving feverishly fast. Before I knew it, the buildup of pleasure exploded out of me and I felt my knees weaken below me.

With a gasp, I began to gather myself again and catch my breath. I looked down and saw evidence of what I just did all over the floor of the bathtub. I quickly made sure it all washed down the drain. With that out of the way, I began to soap my back but my thoughts once again turned to Brian. As my hands reached my butt cheeks, once again Brian was in the shower with me. It felt like wherever I moved my hands, it was actually Brian doing it. I felt him rub the soap all over my butt. He made sure to hold each of my cheeks and ensure they were thoroughly soaped up. I then felt him move the soap between them, along my crack. The sensation made me shiver, it felt so good. Rubbing the soap up and down made me moan ever so slightly in response. Shortly, the soap was abandoned and he was using his hands to work. The feeling of the soap was nothing compared to feeling his hands touching me in such a way. Slowly, I felt a soapy finger inch its way inside of me, and at that point I lost it again.

Groaning, I leaned into the wall and felt myself have another powerful orgasm. Thoroughly out of breath, I leaned against the wall for another full minute while I composed myself. I let out a “wow” between gasps for breath -- it was the only word to describe what I felt -- and got to work cleaning up the evidence once again.

A few minutes later I stepped out of the shower and started to towel myself off. Once I was dry, I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed into my room. Closing the door behind me, I looked to make sure the curtains were closed before I dropped my towel.

I scurried around my room, trying to decide what to wear on my first day before I froze to death from the cool air flowing over my skin. After throwing on some underwear and socks, I finally decided on a pair of skinnier jeans and a dark blue shirt. I stepped back into my washroom to brush my teeth and couldn’t help but admire myself in the mirror. I put my hands on my hips and admired the clothes I had on.

“You look sexy today, Andrew.” I said to my reflection uncharacteristically. I was in a great mood and couldn’t contain myself. I swayed back and forth, hands still on my hips. I half-turned and partially mooned the mirror. “Oh, yeah, work that.” I teased myself. “So sexy.”

With a smile on my face I headed back into my room, grabbed my backpack then met my dad at the bottom of the stairs. I put on my shoes, getting ready to leave as he gave me the customary lecture and send off.

“This is your first day of school, so try to place nice with the other kids.” He warned me, but with a touch of humor in his words. “I know you’ve had problems talking to other people your age before, but this is a fresh start, so try to relax a little.”

He took that moment to rub my head, effectively ruining my styled hair. “Just relax and have fun. I promise you that if you just act like yourself, everyone will fall in love with you. You’ll have girls crawling all over you by days end.”

I laughed as I grabbed the car keys dangling from his hand. “Thanks Dad.” I yelled back as the door closed behind me. “Let’s see.” I mused to myself, as I entered in the address for Westwood Senior High School. With the directions queued up, the car roared to life and I was on my way. After a short drive, I had finally arrived at the place that would own my soul for the next 10 months. It looked like any other high school, which was an odd surprise to me. American high schools on the television were always absolutely massive and had their own football stadium and crazy stuff like that. This looked like a regular, average high school.

I parked in the student parking lot and made my way to the front doors. I saw a small group of people standing under a tree, in the shade, sharing a cigarette. Without even realizing it, my face was plastered with a look of utter disgust. Once I realized how snobby I looked, I quickly tried to relax.

“Andrew, jeez. What are you trying to do?” I thought to myself. “Don’t want to piss people off and have them think you have a superiority complex.”

Stopping for a moment. I took a deep breath and mentally collected myself. With a renewed smile, I happily walked through the front doors and headed for the office.

I walked in and went to the secretary. “Hi. my name is Andrew Porter. I’m newly registered here. My Dad didn’t tell me to check in or anything, I just want to make sure everything is straightened away.”

“Let me see...” She said, putting on her glasses, starting to sift through a stack of folders on her desk. “...Ah, yes. I’ve found you. Porter, Andrew. Yes, dear. Everything is in order. Have yourself a great day and welcome to Westwood Senior High.” She looked at me when she said the last bit and had the sweetest old woman smile ever.

With that knowledge, I pulled out my schedule from my back pocket and began to figure out where my homeroom class was. Luckily, the school’s classrooms were numbered in an intelligible, logical way and I found my class relatively quickly. As I entered, I noticed two pairs quietly talking. They looked up at me then went back to their conversations. After hesitating for just a minute I quietly went to the back of the class and sat down.

I watched as the rest of the people in my home room filtered in. I like observing people, to see what they do and how they do it. I used to be really sociable, but now I tend to remove myself from any social situation I encounter. I’ve lost the comfort I used to have when talking to someone, it was stripped away from me and now I’m most comfortable sitting back, alone, observing. I was only half watching the people around me, lost in thought, when I noticed Brian walked into the classroom.

My eyes fixed on him as I watched him take a seat. He was with some friends that I didn’t recognize, and thankfully none of them noticed me staring. He took his seat, near the front. Only a handful more people slowly filtered into the room. As the bell went, my new homeroom teacher power walked in and sat down at the desk as the door slammed shut behind him.

“Good morning class, I’ll be your homeroom teacher for the year, and we’ll share first period together as well. I don’t know if any of you are aware, but we have a new student joining us. He just arrived a few days ago from up north, in Canada.”

Oh no. Not this. The stupid “introduce yourself” bullshit. I felt my stomach drop to the floor.

“Andrew? Where are you? Please stand up. Introduce yourself to us, please.”

I slowly stood up and cleared my throat. I stood up and felt the chair slide back as all eyes in the class turned to look at me. “Uhm. Well. My name is Andrew. Like it was just said, I’m from Canada.” I cleared my throat again and refused to look at Brian. “Again, like it was just said, I’ve moved here from Canada and I’ve only been here for like... three days. I do like it here so far.” I was sweating bullets, I hate being the center of attention.

In a desperate attempt to end this torture I quickly added, “So... If anyone else has any questions, just, uh.. ask. I guess. Thanks?”

Quickly I sat down and wiped the sweat that was beginning to form on my forehead. I put my shaking hands on my desk, palm down, to try and regather myself. Mentally preparing myself for the potential impending disaster, I looked up at Brian. I was expecting anger, or something along those lines; instead, I was met with a look of confusion and sadness. His eyes were indescribable. All I knew is that I didn’t like to see his eyes like that, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure he never looked at me like that again.

This confused me, my feeling this way towards him, but more importantly, it angered me.

Before I was able to look deeper into my emotions, the teacher piped up again. “Er. Thank you, Andrew for that... information.”

He went on to give the generic lecture that all teachers give on the first day. All my classes were like that, pretty much. Each teacher gave their own, personal classroom rules (which were all pretty much the same, anyways) and each of them explained the subject and talked about what the semester would be like. It was a pretty standard and boring day, until I got to gym.

I shared with Brian homeroom (1st period), 3rd period English and Gym. When it came time to go to Gym, I made sure I was the first one to arrive to the class, and I went immediately up to the teacher to explain my situation.

“Hi Coach.” I said, as I approached the man in white with a whistle around his neck.

“Oh, hello son. What can I do for you?” He replied back in a friendly manner.

“My name is Andrew. The office should have spoken to you already, but I have some paperwork for you.” I explained to him, with killer politeness.

“Oh, yes. Right. They mentioned the general situation. Come over to the side so we can talk with a little more privacy.” He said, motioning me to follow him to the benches.

We both sat down and I explained generally what was going on. After I handed Coach the papers that Dad had given me, I waited for him to finish reading them. As I sat there, waiting, I watched as the rest of the class filtered through. Some faces I recognized and some I didn’t. I recognized one guy from my second period class. Jason I think his name was. No... Jesse. Yeah, Jesse. As I was mentally trying to assign names to as many faces as I could, I noticed Brian. He was staring at me, with an odd look in his face; he was curious about what I was doing and what the coach was reading, I guess.

“Okay. What I’m going to get you to do Andrew is sit down with the class, since we’re only going to be talking anyways. You came in quick, so your class before this is close by?” He asked.

“Yeah, right around the corner.” I told him, answering his question.

“Okay, good. What you’re going to do for now on is come in as quickly as you can and help me setup for the day. There will be a few times when we will be using nets for volleyball and stuff. I don’t think you should have a problem with that, and if you do I can get someone else to help.” He explained to me.

“Sounds good, sir.” I replied.

He stood up and called the class over to where we had been sitting. I sat down with everyone else and we listened for the next half hour while we were lectured about sports, safety practices and a bunch of other crap that was boring.

During the speech, I was acutely aware that Brian was sitting right beside me, but I chose to ignore him and remain laser focused on what was being said. I felt a tap on my knee. Ignored it. Another tap on my knee. Ignored. A third tap on my knee, more urgent this time. Followed by a whisper.

“Psst. What was that all about with Coach?” Brian hissed at me, trying to not disturb anyone else, since we were sitting on the edge of the group.

I remained steadfast in my decision to ignore him.

“What the hell, dude?” He whispered again, a little louder.

I continued to ignore him. But, I was well aware of the fact that he was getting ticked off.

He leaned in closer and whispered to me again, “Earth to Andrew. Hello!”

He said “Hello” a little too loudly and Coach picked up on his talking. In classic teacher fashion he called Brian out on talking when he was talking and embarrassed him quite a bit. Shortly after Coach was done with what he had to say, a spontaneous game of dodgeball broke out. I opted to sit on the bench and watch until the last bell of the day rang, signally a conclusion to the first day of school. Since there wasn’t that much physical activity, nobody bothered using the showers. I had my backpack with me so I was able to leave immediately, whereas everyone else has to go to the corner and grab their backs, which they had piled there when the game of dodgeball started.

I left the gym quickly and hastily made my way through the increasingly crowded halls, eager to get home. I was all the way out in the parking lot when someone grabbed the strap of my backpack and turned me around. It was Brian.

“What the hell, dude.” He asked me, between pants. “You left so quickly, I had to practically run to catch up. What was with you and the coach talking?” He grilled me.

“None of your freakin’ business.” I rebuffed, angry. “If I wanted you to know, you would have been invited into the conversation.”

“Dude, what the hell is your problem? I’ve been nothing but nice to you.” He looked me directly in the eyes when he said that. There were so many emotions showing in his eyes that it was overwhelming me.

I didn’t have anything to say, so I just turned around and kept walking. He followed me, naturally, but I continued to ignore him. Hastily, I opened my car door, sat down and sped off. In a matter of two days I had twice left him standing in the parking lot in dumbfounded shock.

When I got home, dad asked me how my day was. I was too lost in thought to give a reply, not that there was really much to say. “Oh, you know, it’s just the standard first day of school. Nothing big or special happened.” I told him, which was apparently a sufficient answer. I went upstairs and heard him shout up to me that dinner was going to be ready at 5:30.

That night and the rest of my first week wasn’t all that exciting academically. Nobody had assigned homework for the first night, so I spent most of the night bored. I played Zelda for a while, but it got kind of boring pretty fast. The second day of school wasn’t anything particularly riveting and again there wasn’t any homework assigned.

Finally by Wednesday I had something to do at home, even if it was only reading the first chapter of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It sucks, by the way. Thursday and Friday the homework load increased as expected, but again... pretty uneventful.

So the first week of school -- academically at least -- wasn’t much worth noting. The lunch periods, on the other hand, were much more interesting.

My personal philosophy when it comes to conversation is simple: whoever starts the conversation owns it. If I walk up to you and say hi (which probably will never happen, by the way), then it’s my responsibility to keep the conversation active, since I started it. That person was quite content and happy without me trying to talk to them and I disturbed their activity by initiating conversation so I’ll be damned if I inconvenience them by letting it go flat in a matter of moments. On the flip side, if someone tries to talk to me, I don’t make much of an effort to talk back. Since they’ve decided to make me stop what I was doing and focusing on them, then they better have enough conversation material to keep me sufficiently occupied.

On the first day of school, I opted to sit at a table by myself. I didn’t know anyone, so why would I try to sit at a random table with a group of complete strangers? That’s just asking for trouble, so many things could go wrong. So, I was sitting by myself, or at least trying to. It felt like my table was a revolving door because every 5 minutes of my entire hour lunch, I was entertaining questions about me, why I’m here and where I came from. I remember one such conversation and it makes me laugh.

“Hey there buddy.” The stranger that just sat down uninvited, greeted me, wearing a fake smile.

“Hi.” I replied.

“So, you’re really from Canada, eh?” He asked me, putting extra emphasis on the last word.

“Yes.” I replied back flatly. At this point I was biting my tongue. I didn’t want to make the two rude comments that were on the tip of my tongue.

With a completely straight face, he asked me “Is it true all of you live in igloos?”

“No.” I snapped back. I was getting pissed off, so I decided I’d make him go away before I got even more irritated. “I’m trying to eat here. Is there anything important you want to ask me or can I have some peace. Please.” I added the last part just to sound even worse.

He recoiled and looked angry. “Jeez. I guess it’s not true that all Canadians are nice people.” He grumbled. With that, he grabbed his food, shot me a dirty look and was gone.

Tuesday was almost as bad. Jesse came by and I tried to be more civil because I wanted him around, at least for a minute or two. What can I say, he was nice on the eyes. I admit, after we introduced ourselves and he got up to leave, the view from behind wasn’t half bad either.

Wednesday was much better, and it seemed that by Friday everyone was starting to get the hint.

With my first week under my belt, I wasn’t quite sure what was happening. I came here with the intention of becoming a new person, acting differently. I’ve too easily slipped into my old anti-social habits. Curled up in bed with Rain right beside me, I closed my eyes and drifted off, wondering if being the anti-social person I’ve always been was the way to go.
 
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A Life So Hard - Chapter 4

September slowly rolled by and before I knew it, October was upon me. Old habits sure die hard, because I was once again a loner inside school and out. After that first week, nobody really tried to talk to me. Usually I would sit at a table at lunch by myself and a group of two or three would sit at the other end. They would give me the occasional glance, but by and large, I would ignore them. In class, things were no different; nobody spoke to me unless the teacher partnered me up with them, or they needed to know a quick answer.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Brian always tried to talk to me. It would be small talk before class began, an invite to his table at lunch, or something like that. Very rarely did a day go by without Brian trying to talk to me in one way or another. I didn’t know why. I didn’t get it, from his perspective. I was just some random, loser kid that showed up in the last year of school. I didn’t have friends, so it’s not like I was some pawn to be played in the popular games. I think I was an enigma to him, and he was trying to figure me out.

It intrigued me that he thought I was a mystery worth his time to explore. My feelings for him still haven’t changed, not really. I still hated him with every fibre of my soul for what he represented. He reminded me of when it all started going wrong. When things started to get bad and never recovered. I’ve taken all those long since buried feelings and attached them to him. At the same time, a small part of me wanted him to know, to figure out the mystery that was me. It was so small and so deep inside of me that I wasn’t really consciously aware of it, there was too much negative emotion burying the thought.

Everything changed on October 3rd. Brian didn’t talk to me the two previous days at all, which I had mentally noted and was wondering about. As much as I didn’t like him and didn’t want him to talk to me, I still liked him trying to talk to me. He was funny, kind, and really, really cute. On the 3rd, he didn’t say anything to me in homeroom, where he usually at least says good morning. I kept sneaking looks his way, and he refused to return them. I couldn’t help but frown and think that maybe I pushed him away for good. I was torn between ecstasy and horror.

Lunch time came around, and I got my food as normal. I plopped down at an empty table and started to eat. I was listening to my iPod and tuning out the world. It scared the living shit out of me when I heard another food tray slam down on the table in front of me. That was the last thing in the world I was expecting, so naturally I jumped two feet in the air. I took out my headphones, ready to lay into whoever scared me.

“What the -” I began, ready to lose it. I stopped, though, when I saw it was Brian. “Ohhh...” Was all I managed to say at that point.

“We need to talk. Like, actually talk. Not me saying something to you and you give me a weird look, or just say one word or something. We’re going to sit here and talk. Have a real conversation and you’re going to tell me what the hell I did to you to piss you off so much. From the quick conversation we had, I thought we could be, like... friends.” He was looking me right in the eyes. He spoke forcefully, but it was... soft. Almost like he was ready to admit defeat.

I sat in shock for a moment, the gears turning in my head as I tried to figure out what to say or do. Finally, after the longest minute ever, I finally came up with something to say: “Okay.”

He laughed. “Wow, just okay? That’s all you have to say. Well, it’s better then anything you’ve said earlier, so I’ll take it. It’s been killing me inside. Why do you hate me?”

I flinched; he went right to business. I needed to make a decision. What level of information am I willing to give him? I think I’ll give him the most basic information and kind of go from there.

I cleared my throat and tried to speak without letting the floodgates of emotion open up. “You remind me of someone I used to know.” I told him. I tried to say it as simply as possible.

“Oh...” He looked down at the table. He kept his gaze focused down for a while, I guess thinking about what I had finally admitted. “I’m a good guy.” He said, quietly, almost in a whisper. “I wouldn’t hurt you.” He looked up at me after the last bit, with a small smile on his face.

His words hit me hard, and deep. I felt the wall crumbling inside and my eyes began to tear up. I put my head on the table and covered my face with my arms before I started to cry, so he didn’t see. I was on emotional overload right now. I couldn’t even begin to process what he had said, what it meant and how it made me feel.

I lifted my head and with my words leaving my mouth before the filter could stop me from saying it, I asked, “Want to hang out for a bit at my house after school?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure!” He replied, clearly excited. “I’ll meet you at your car after school. We can leave gym together.”

The rest of the day flew by, and, before I knew it, the last bell was ringing. We had been playing basketball, so I helped Coach put away all the balls while everyone was getting showered and changed. After we had gathered everything up, I waited outside the locker room door for Brian. A few people left before him, but after about a five minute wait, he emerged.

“Oh, you waited. I’m glad.” He said, looking at me with that amazing smile.

“Uh.. yeah. Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?” I asked him with a small amount of hurt in my voice.

“I just figured that, y’know... you’d bolt. You don’t really seem to want to be around me all that much. You’ve made that pretty clear. I figured you might of agreed earlier to get me off your back.” He explained, looking everywhere but at me.

“No, no. I guess you don’t know me very well.” He laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh with him, because it was funny. My face grew serious and I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. He turned in surprise when I did that. “I’m a man of my word. At least, I try my best to keep my word. I said we’d hang out, so I intend to stick to that.”

He didn’t say anything. It was more then enough for him to look at me and smile. I had to break contact, otherwise I’d start to blush and “other” stuff might begin to happen. I started walking again and we walked side by side to my car. As we pulled away, he joked about actually being in the car this time.

After a quiet drive filled with a comfortable silence, we pulled into the driveway. He made a comment about the house being beautiful and I quickly agreed. We quickly made out way inside, placed our bags by the door and were greeted by Elizabeth.

“Hello Andrew.” She said to me, with her trademarked warm smile. She turned to Brian, and much to my surprise, she curtsied. “Well, hello to you, Andrew’s guest. Is there anything I can get you?”

Brian returned in kind with a bow of his own, “No thank you, ma’am.”

With a cocked eyebrow, I looked back and forth between Brian and Elizabeth for a moment. I shook off the random, bizarre occurrence as just that.

“Come on” I urged Brian, pushing him in the back. “Come this way so we can meet my Dad.”

I lead him down the stairs into the basement and to the double doors leading to dad’s office. I gentled knocked twice on the door. After a moment’s pause, the okay was given to come in.

Opening the door, I introduced Dad to Brian. “Dad, I want you to meet my friend, Brian. We have three classes together.

“Ah. Nice to meet you, Brian.” He said in a friendly tone.

I turned to Brian and indicated for him to follow me as I left Dad’s office, closing the door behind us. “He’s got a lot of stuff to do.” I explained to Brian as we headed up the stairs. “Let’s go to my room.”

For some reason I was a little nervous showing Brian my room. It was like I was letting him into my private zone, my sanctuary. It was taking another step towards admitting he was something in my life, that he... mattered to me, at least on some level.

“Anyways... so, yeah. This is my room. There’s my desk where all the homework magic happens, bed, window, closet, etc.” I explained to Brian, pointing out the blatantly obvious.

Brian sat down on my bed and I awkwardly stood in the doorway. The tension in the air was suffocating.

“Err... now what?

“This is the part where you calm the hell down and we chill and just hang out,” he replied in jest.

I said alright and slowly shuffled made my way over to the bed, sitting as far as possible away from him.

“Come on. Get comfortable.” Brian urged me. He leaned back, his head by the end of my bed and his feet sticking out. I hesitantly followed suit and laid back as well.

Then it occurred to me. “Here, lie down properly. Put your head on the other pillow.” I told him, as I adjusted myself.

I closed my eyes and mentally scolded myself for having that massive pile of laundry in the corner. Luckily, besides that, my room was pretty spotless, thanks to my mild obsession with cleanliness and Elizabeth’s diligence. When I opened my eyes again and looked at Brian, I jumped a bit when I realized how close he was to me.

“Is there a problem?” He asked me, genuinely concerned.

I shivered when he asked me that, because I could feel his breath hit my face, that’s how close he was. It smelled so nice, like mint.

“Uh.. Oh, no.” I was desperately trying to compose myself. “You just caught me off guard with how close you are.”

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized, and his face sunk a bit. Disappointment. “I’ll shuffle over a bit then.”

“I didn’t say you had to move... I was, y’know... just saying you surprised me a bit.” I said timidly.

Brian looked at me, and I could tell something was on the tip of his tongue, like he was desperately trying to decide something. “So, I know you like, seem to really like your privacy and stuff... and you don’t like to talk about your past. I get that. I mean, we all have skeletons in our closets. But... is there any way I could, like, know more about you? Like, what’s the deal with Gym?”

I closed my eyes and felt the anxiety shoot right up. I took a few deep breaths, trying to get myself under control again. Finally I managed to say, “Alright. I suppose I can tell you about that.”

My eyes were still closed as I mentally tried to unravel the past into a coherent strand of thought. I was busy deciding which parts of the story I wanted to liberate and inform him about and which parts would be kept to myself. Almost as if he knew, when I had reached the conclusion that Brian would only hear the basic story and nothing about my mom, he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed in a re-assuring way.

I opened my eyes and began, “so.. err.” I stumbled, trying to find the proper words. I cleared my throat and tried again, “there’s so much that’s happened, and it’s kinda all tied together... like a domino effect, I guess you could say. One event sets in motion another, which creates another, etc. I... I’ll be blunt. I don’t really want you to know everything about me. At... at least, not yet. So, I’m just telling you about the medical exempt. Some stuff might not make sense, but... yeah.”

With another squeeze of my shoulder, Brian gave me the strength I needed to actually continue. “I was like... 13 when it all happened. It was all my fault, but my mom was a really heavy smoker. She was like a human chimney. She’d give me drives to school because of other stuff, and the car would literally be filled with smoke.”

“Why was it your fault?” Brian asked.

I closed my eyes again as I felt another wave of anxiety overpower me. It took me a few moments to collect myself again. “Please, just listen, this is hard enough as it is.” I pleaded.

With an understanding nod from Brian, I continued. “It was a few months after my 13th birthday when I was diagnosed. It had been kind of hurting for a while whenever I ran. I was in school and it was recess. A few kids had convinced me to play tag and I was it. I was chasing some girls and was focusing so hard on running and catching them that I didn’t realize how laboured my breathing had become. I remember closing in on them, almost within an arm’s reach when my vision turned black and I fell to the ground.”

I gulped, then kept going. “I woke up in a hospital room. They had called an ambulance to the school and everything. Anyways, I woke up and there was a doctor there. My mom and dad were standing right by the bed and the doctor was in front of me, holding some papers and stuff. I still remember his words, I sometimes hear them in nightmares. He said, ‘Andrew, I have some bad news for you. A while ago, your mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, but we just found that you’ve developed a tumor as well, from the second hand smoke.’”

I stopped, because saying the words that have haunted my dreams took a toll on me. I looked over at Brian and had an indescribable look on his face and his eyes shone with tears. I grabbed some tissues from my nightstand and handed them to him, then grabbed one for myself.

“That summer, I spent so much time at that hospital. They did every scan under the sun on me to figure out exactly what was going on and what to do about it.” I looked at him with a small, amused smile on my face. “How’d you spend your first year of high school?” I suddenly asked him, as if to break the tension.

“Just the usual, I guess. School, trying not to do homework, hanging out with friends. Maybe smoked here or there. The regular stuff that 14 year olds do.” Brian answered.

I nodded. That was the kind of answer I was expecting. “Mine was nothing like that. They scheduled my surgery to remove the tumor on October 1st. Everything was going according to plan. The surgeon was the best in the province, specializing in cases like mine, involving young kids. There were some risks, but they were minimal. It really seemed like luck was on my side, for once.”

“So things didn’t go according to plan, did they?” Brian asked.

“Oh, no. No... they did not.” I said, shaking my head. “The surgeon opened me up, and was a little liberal with the slicing and dicing. I don’t remember exactly what he did or how it happened, because honestly I don’t want to know, but whatever he did left a lot more scar tissue then was thought. He got it all, but he wasn’t as careful as he was supposed to be.”

“There was an inquiry into what happened, although nothing came of it. Apparently, the good doctor was emotionally compromised, but didn’t want to tarnish his perfect record by saying something and getting replaced with another capable surgeon. Apparently being the top in the province reaped him some fiscal benefits that he didn’t want to lose. My case was really important for his career because... well, I don’t know.” I kept talking, surprised I was able to get this far and stay this coherent.

“Emotionally compromised?” Brian asked, as expected.

“Yeah.” I chucked. “The poor guy was served with divorce papers from his wife of 30 years that morning. Bitch took him for everything he had, too. He was so shaken up from his high school sweetheart cutting him loose that he took ended up taking it out on me. By the way, Coach or the school doesn’t know that part, and I’d like to keep it that way. All they know is that there were unspecified complications.”

The conversation finally caught up with me and the waterworks began. I sat up, cross legged and was clutching my pillow. Embarrassed, I was wiping the tears away as quickly as I could.

Brian put his hand on my back and slowly moved it in circles, trying to comfort me. “Look, dude. I’m really sorry all that happened to you. It sounds like a really, really shitty experience. We all get our fair share of shit in our lives, and it’s not fair that you had to go through so much. I just want you to know that I’ll be here as your friend to help you through it, and you can always count on my help if you ever need it.”

With a smile on my face I looked at Brian and thanked him. “That means a lot to me. You have no idea. I appreciate it. I owe you an apology as well. I know I have a lot of problems and issues and stuff, and it came make me hard to deal with. There’s just... some shit that happened that you kind of remind me about that I’d rather not remember. I’m sorry I let it hold me back for so long from being your friend.”

With that said, I stood up and walked around the bed to the side that Brian was sitting on. He stood up and I gently wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. We held the embrace for a moment, which I savored deeply. After the amount of time that is expected for two male friends to hug had elapsed, we broke the embrace.

Rain never ceased to amaze me. He had made himself scarce when me and Brian were talking, but now that the mood was significantly brighter, he sauntered into my room with a loud meow as a greeting. Jumping on my bed with an eloquence that only a cat can manage, he made himself comfortable, laying down on my pillow.

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed. “Look at the time. It’s already 5:30. Do you have to go for dinner, or can you stay?”

“I can’t see it being a problem. Let me just check with my mom. I’ll be right back, my phone is in my bag by the front door.” Brian explained excitedly, then took off.

I seized the opportunity, the first moment I’ve had alone since I’ve been home, to process the turn of events. I was still in shock in regards to everything that happened and was so surprised with myself for being so open with Brian. I was especially shocked at my forwardness, asking him to stay for dinner. There was nothing I could do about it now, so I might as well enjoy his company.

As it turns out, Brian did stay for dinner, and he made a habit of it. At least twice a week, sometimes three, he’d come over and we’d hang out then have dinner. As the days turned to weeks, me and Brian started to become better and closer friends. We both had a sort of silent agreement to avoid talking or asking about the past, which worked for us. I was quickly introduced to all of Brian’s friends and I got along pretty well with them. I knew that if they were friends with Brian, then they must be decent people. That was the reason I gave them a chance, and it turned out I was correct; the guy from the mall even apologized to me.

By the time December rolled around, Brian and I were inseparable. After I had mentioned to my dad about it only being Brian and his mom, he told me to invite them over for Christmas dinner. Naturally, Brian called his mom right away and she accepted our offer without hesitation.
 
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It’s a metaphor for global warming.

 
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A Life So Hard - Chapter 5

I had asked Brian and his mom over a few weeks before Christmas, so all the arrangements could be made. I swear, though, within the blink of an eye, Christmas was upon us. I’m not much of a festive person, but dad definitely was; he was like a little child. Brian and I decided that we’d each do our own thing on Christmas morning, then meet up around 4PM for dinner.

I had my alarm set for a respectable 7AM, but dad had other plans. The clock had barely creeped past five in the morning when he was feverishly slamming on my door, telling me to get up. “Santa’s been here! Santa’s been here!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, absolutely giddy with excitement.

Since I didn’t really have a choice in the matter, because “no” is not a recognized answer in this scenario, I reluctantly threw on a t-shirt and headed downstairs. I met Elizabeth as she was leaving her room and gave her an apologetic smile. She just laughed and ushered me downstairs to the living room. Dad met us at the bottom of the stairs and handed Elizabeth a cup of coffee and me a cup of tea. We both graciously accepted the gifts and went into the living room.

I sat in the armchair while my dad and Elizabeth took the couch; within five minutes Rain was sitting on my lap. It was quite the sight to behold, the tree. The tree itself was decked out in lights and ornaments. I’m surprised the tree didn’t collapse or something, under the weight of all the ornaments and decorations hanging on it. Underneath the tree, you would have never been able to guess that there was a floor. The entire bottom of the tree, and beyond, was stacked with presents.

Our rule for gift giving is a few small things and one big thing. Without exception, my small presents are clothes, which I don’t mind. You can never have enough clothes, right? Dad decided he was the “Santa” this year, so, wearing the silly hat, he divvied out all the gifts. Me and Elizabeth sat there quietly, rubbing our eyes trying to wake up as he scurried back and forth, piling up the presents in their proper piles.

After what seemed like forever, we started to open them, one at a time. As expected, I mostly got clothes, which was fine. When dad has some spare time, which sadly isn’t too often, he liked to do woodworking, so I had gotten him some magazines. Dad and I decided that we should get Elizabeth something, but didn’t know what, so we got her a gift certificate for the mall. She also had some presents from relatives that were mailed to us.

Once we had cleared through all that, dad looked at me with a small smile on his face. “I saved the best for last.” He told me.

“Oh?” I asked him, curious at what he meant.

He reached under the couch and pulled out a small wrapped box and handed it to me. I took it from him and felt the weight of the box in my hands. It was pretty light. With a shrug, I opened the box and found that it was the new iPhone.

“Oh! Wow Dad! Thank-you so much!” I yelled, excitedly. I already had a phone, a Blackberry, but it was kind of shitty. It was slow and kind of useless, but I never complained. Not everyone is lucky enough to even have a phone, let alone have their parents pay for it. I was happy with what I had before, but this was super awesome.

Obviously, the first thing I did was turn it on, and discovered that it had already been setup. There was even a text waiting for me. That kind of caught me by surprise, so I checked it.

Brian: Merry Christmas Andrew!

I smiled when I saw it was from Brian, and thought it was damn cute for him to do that. I wondered how he knew about my phone and everything. I guess my dad let him in on it, or something. I looked at dad and could not keep my smile under control. “This is so amazing Dad, thank-you so much!”

“Well, actually,” he cleared his throat. “I didn’t get that for you. Brian did.”

My jaw dropped. I was floored. I had no idea what to say.

“You have quite the friend, that Brian.” Dad said.

“Yeah, really. I do.” It’s all I could say in the current state of shock that I was in. I immediately turned my attention back to the text and replied with my own.

Andrew: Whoa, dude. What the hell? You didn’t need to do that! :) :(

I set my new phone down on the table and sipped the cup of hot chocolate that Elizabeth made while Dad was giving me the phone. I heard a buzz from it and picked it up again

Brian: That’s what friends are for! ;)

Andrew: Oh, gosh dude. This is too much.

Brian: Naw man. It’s no big deal, you deserve it.

Andrew: We’re still on for dinner?

Brian: Looking forward to it! ;)

I spent the rest of the morning engrossed in my shiny new phone. Before I knew it, Elizabeth playfully hit me in the back of the head and said, “Time to get ready, silly boy. They’ll be here in an hour.”

“Oh shit, yeah.” I replied, jumping out of the chair in excitement.

Before I could get away to get ready, Elizabeth grabbed my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Brian will be here,” as if I didn’t know already, “so you’ll want to look extra sharp for him.”

With that motivation, I made sure to get myself extra cleaned up. I heard the doorbell ring as I was just finishing combing my hair. I had on a nice pair of thin jeans, along with a nice powder blue dress shirt.

I hurried down the stairs and saw Brian leaning over to untie his shoes. He was bent over, facing away from me, and I couldn’t help but look. It was quite the view, after all. Ms. Marshall saw me stopped on the stairs and called me out, “Andrew, dear! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Waking up out of my daze, I rushed down the stairs and greeted her. “It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am.” I welcomed her, with the utmost politeness.

“Oh, nonsense. Calling me ma’am makes me feel old. Calling me Ms. Marshall makes me feel like an old maid, which is even worse. My name is Karen, and I expect you to call me that.” She explained, mock scolding me, but with a big, warm smile on her face.

“Yes, ma- Karen. I see where Brian gets his smile from.” I observed, with the same smile on my face now, too. It was infectious.

I turned to Brian, who was standing there with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen plastered on his face. “Come here, you.” He said to me right before giving me a bear hug. I thought I felt something press into my leg, but I couldn’t be sure.

“Karen, Brian, dinner is just about ready!” Dad piped up, motioning for us to follow him into the dining room, where the fancy dinner stuff was.

We all sat down and moments later Elizabeth and Dad were bringing in the most delicious looking food I’ve ever seen. We all talked and ate merrily, each of us sharing a funny story or joke we’ve heard. It was probably one of the best and happiest meals I’ve ever had. A huge part of that came from Karen, who was the life of the table and one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.

After we had cleaned our plates and were relaxing Elizabeth brought out a mouthwatering cheesecake for dessert. It was the most amazing cheesecake I’ve ever had. Brian and Karen agreed. Almost in a blink of an eye, the entire cheesecake was gone and we were sitting in the living room each with a cup of hot chocolate.

“So, Karen, tell me about yourself.” Dad said, turning to Karen.

“Well. What do you want to know?” Karen giggled, fully aware that Dustin was hitting on her.

“Just... about you.” He answered, nervous. “Your work... Your hobbies... If there’s a Mr. Marshall?” A nervous smile crept across his face.

I looked at Brian, who was focused on the exchange going on between my dad and his mom, and smiled. Imagine that, if he and I were dating and his mom and my dad were dating. Oh shit. If they got married, that would make us step-brothers. That would be awkward, if step-brothers were dating. I was contemplating that though and the dynamics of that awkward situation when I suddenly jolted back to reality and realized it probably wasn’t going to be an issue. The thought of Brian and I dating was absolutely ridiculous and I think the thought of my dad and his mom dating was right up there on the ridiculous scale.

“So, maybe do you want to go out for coffee sometime?” Dad asked Ms. Marshall. She blushed and shook her head no.

Brian looked at me, sensing the awkward situation, “So, Andrew. It’s kind of a surprise, but the plan was for me to stay over tonight, if that’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I replied, caught off guard.

“Cool. I didn’t think it would be a problem. My stuff is still in the car, would you mind giving me a hand bringing it in and helping me setup?”

I nodded, telling him that I’d help and we headed out to the car. I grabbed his sleeping bag and he grabbed the bag he brought with him. We headed up to my room and he threw the bag down, and I followed suit with the sleeping bag.

“I know we won’t need this stuff for forever still, but I couldn’t handle that hell of an awkward situation down there. I didn’t expect your dad to be hitting on my mom.” Brian joked, and I laughed.

“I guess your dad’s been kind of... lonely, since your mom’s passing.” Brian said.

I turned away and my face grew solemn. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ve never thought about it.” I replied back, in a stone-like voice. I turned back to him, “I guess the same could be said about your mom.”

It was Brian’s turn to get solemn, and we both just stood there for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or what to do. I sat down on the bed and he did the same, sitting right beside me. Both of us only had short-sleeve shirts on and when our arms brushed together and our skin touched, it sent shivers running through me. I let out an involuntary gasp.

“Everything okay?” Brian asked, giving me a weird look.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Are you a little cold? Here, the covers.” I replied, desperately trying to seem calm. My palms were sweating and my heart was beating a million miles a minute. Without thinking, in my moment of panic, I got under my covers, fully clothed.

With a shrug, Brian followed suit. “So, what now?” He asked, turning to look at me.

“Uh. I was thinking, that we could talk about school and stuff?” I replied back, half asking and half telling him.

That’s exactly what happened, we talked about school and stuff. Brian told me all about the culture of the school. He told me who was cool and who was trouble and he even gave me some of the cell numbers of his friends. We talked about all the different sports teams and he explained the school’s proud football history. I looked at the clock and before I knew it, we had been talking for almost four hours.

The clock said it was only nine thirty, but I was really exhausted. I turned to Brian to ask him if he was also tired, but when I looked at him, he was in the middle of the biggest, cutest yawn I’ve ever seen. “I guess it’s settled then, let’s get ready for bed. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go and brush my teeth and such, then get the sleeping bag ready.”

With a nod from Brian, I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I mindlessly went about my nightly routine I thought about what was actually happening. Brian, the guy of my dreams, was in my room right now. We’d be sleeping in the same room all night. I put the deodorant back on the shelf and went back into my room, not even thinking to knock. I opened the door and saw Brian naked, facing away from me. My eyes instantly shot down to the two fleshy globes that were his tight butt. He wrapped a towel around his waist and I could not help but choke, half in disappointment and half in shock about the whole thing.

He whipped around and with a dark red blush bolted past me. He stopped in the hall and looked at me for a moment. Finally, after choosing his words carefully, he opened his mouth, “I’m sorry... I kind of... forgot that I’m not at home. I take my showers at night, so... is it okay...?”

“Oh, yeah. No! That’s fine.” I answered, incredibly flustered. With a smile he headed into the bathroom with his change of clothes in his arms. Just as the door was about to close shut, I saw the towel drop. With a grunt I rushed back into my room and threw myself onto my bed. Not even bothering to close the door, I unzipped my jeans. My hands started to rub my hardness over the thin fabric of my underwear. In the background I heard the water turn on from the shower and that further fueled my lust.

With my fly still open and my underwear still on, I had a moment of clarity. I realized that I had no idea how long it took Brian to have a shower. The last thing I needed was for him to walk into my room - with the door open - and see me pleasuring myself. With a terrible sigh at the thought of what I’ll be missing, I buttoned up my pants and started setting up the room for the night.

Brian’s sleeping bag was in the corner but I ignored it. Instead, I reached up to the top shelf of my closet and pulled down my own sleeping bag and unrolled it on the ground beside the bed. A good host would never let his guest sleep on the floor; and come hell or high water I was determined to be a good host. I had just finished preparing my sleeping bag and sorting out all the miscellaneous minor details as Brian - fully clothed - walked into the room. I was sitting on my sleeping bag with a coy smile on my face, because I thought I knew exactly how this conversation would play out.

“Get off my sleeping bag, you silly little boy.” He told me, in a jokingly mocking tone.

“I’m not sitting on your sleeping bag.” I replied matter of factly. With a smile I pointed to his, still wrapped up and in the corner. A smile caught the corner of my mouth as I patted my hand on the bed, “This is where you’ll be sleeping tonight.”

“Oh, no. I don’t think so. If you’re making me sleep in your bed, then you’re going to be joining me. Whether you like it or not.” He proclaimed slyly. His lips curled in a cheeky way, “Actually, now that I think about it... you were so busy being sneaky with who is sleeping where that you forgot to change into your PJs. That is, unless you like to sleep in jeans with the zipper down and a dress shirt.”

I blushed and grabbed my PJs from the dresser. Brian was still in the doorway and blocked me from leaving. “Oh, no. If you want me to sleep in your bed, you need to change here. Besides, it’s only fair that I get a peek too.”

I blushed a deep red and with a resigned sigh, I walked back into the room, closing the door behind me. Brian hopped onto the bed with a little too much glee and sat cross-legged, facing me. With my entire face a deep, crimson red, I turned around. I took my shirt off and replaced it quickly. With a lot more hesitation I slowly unbuttoned my pants. Since I had forgotten to zip myself up earlier, my jeans were a bit loose and slipped off my waist. As if I wasn’t self-conscious enough, at the first sight of my ass Brian let out an ear-piercing, high pitched whistle.

I turned my head towards him and gave him a dirty look. He winked at me and smiled. With a huff, I turned around again and tried to take off my jeans and underwear as quickly as I could. When I was completely naked from the waist down he slapped my ass, but I ignored him. Without bothering to put on underwear, just wanting this torture to be over, I threw on a comfortable pair of sweat pants as quickly as possible.

I turned around to look at him. Secretly I enjoyed putting on a show for him, but I didn’t want him to know that. With as pissed off a face as I could muster I said, “You’re such an ass.” He was sitting on my bed crossed legged smiling the biggest, cutest smile I’ve ever seen. I walked over to the light switch and flicked it off. I went back to my bed and crawled in on my side.

Before I was fully lying down and comfortable, I bumped into Brian.

“Move over!” I moaned at him, tiredly.

“I like to sleep on this side.” He whined back.

“But... come on. This is my bed.” I whined right back at him.

I heard a sigh, “Fine. But if anything happens, I am not responsible.”

With a “Fine, whatever.” I rolled over, finally having enough room, and fell asleep.

Next thing I knew I was awake. My eyes were still closed but I had this overwhelming feeling of good. I felt very refreshed and ready to tackle the day head on. In a moment of realization I remembered that Brian was in the same bed as me, within arms reach. I thought about it a bit more and realized I felt something.

I opened my eyes and turned my head. I was lying on my side, facing away from him. His arm was draped over my side and he was spooning me. This kind of surprised me and freaked me out, so I jumped a bit and the bed shook. That woke Brian up and he shifted positions. As his body moved, I thought I felt his erection rub against my butt, through the fabric.

“Good morning.” He greeted me groggily.

“Hey.” I replied softly, almost whispering. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah, pretty good and you?” He asked me in return.

I thought for a moment about how I should reply. I could lie and said I slept okay. Or, I could tell him the truth, that I had one of the best nights in memory because we were sleeping together and that his erection pressing against my ass was a massive turn-on. I figured that would make things unnecessarily awkward so I settled with saying, “Yeah, I slept pretty decently. Thanks for asking.” I hopped out of bed and turned started to walk out the room. I stopped at the door and turned to look at Brian, “I’m going to get breakfast, are you coming?”

He rubbed is eyes and looked at me. Slowly a big smile appeared on his face. “Oh, yeah. I’m coming. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Miss what?” I asked him, completely confused.

“Well, last night you were so embarrassed and flustered that you forgot to put on any underwear, because apparently showing me your ass is a horrible thing. Let’s just say... you’re hanging ‘fast and loose’ and you know what they say about morning and teenage boys...” Brian trailed off, trying and failing to contain his utter amusement at my embarrassing predicament.

I took a deep breath and looked down. Sure enough, there was a big tent in the front of my pants. I felt my face glow red as I quickly scrambled to grab a pair of underwear and bolted for the bathroom. The second I was inside, the door slammed shut and was locked. I threw my back against the door and was shaking. My breathing was heavy with panic - embarrassment - as I wondered... worried about what Brian was thinking. He seemed to be okay, but he could make fun of me at school. He could tell everyone and make my life a living hell. Oh God, that would be horrible, I don’t know what I would do if that happened.

After about five minutes of heavy breathing and panic shooting through me, I was finally able to calm down. I looked down at the pair of underwear I was holding in my hand and remembered what had just happened. My face lit up red again as I slipped off my pants to put my underwear back on. With a soft thump, my pants fell to the ground and I stepped out of them. I looked down and I saw myself, hard as a rock. I guess I never really paid much attention to my penis before. It was always just there and ready to go when it was needed. It served it’s purpose and that was that. I wasn’t circumcised, so my foreskin was half covering my head; I’ve never measured but I’d guess I was about six and a half inches. Big enough to say I’m big, but small enough that it wouldn’t cause any major discomfort. I’ve always wondered why guys with like... nine inch cocks brag about it. I mean, whether you’re gay or straight, when you penetrate someone with that, it’s going to like... tear them apart. It can’t be very pleasurable, just seems painful to me. With that current thought in my head, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of “assets” Brian was packing.

Before I lost control of myself again and made things worse, I hastily put on my underwear and pants again and went back into the room. I stopped outside the door, out of sight to prepare myself. With a deep breath I went back into my room and was surprised at what I saw. Brian was dressed and packed up, ready to go. I felt a little pang and hoped he didn’t want to be around me anymore.

“Sorry,” he told me, in a sympathetic tone. “My mom texted me while you were out of the room asking if I was awake. She left yesterday shortly after we went upstairs. She’s sending a taxi that should be here any moment. I have to go.”

“Oh, okay.” I answered, trying to hide my disappointment. He gave me a sad look and, with his belongings in hand, made his way downstairs. I watched dejected as he put his shoes on.

The taxi honked outside, letting us know it was waiting. Brian stood up and opened the door. He turned to me and said, “I did have a lot of fun. Thank-you for everything and Merry Christmas. I hope you had a good time. I sure did.”

I blushed and told him it was no big deal. He smiled and opened the door. As soon as the door closed, I rushed to open it again. Hearing the noise, Brian stopped and turned back to see what was going on. He looked a little confused when he saw me standing in the doorway.

“You called me a little boy.” I told him.

He looked at me confused, so I continued. I blushed and looked down at my feet, mumbling, when I said, “I’m not... a little boy.”

I looked up, into his face... his eyes. He smiled that award winning smile and simply said, “Oh, I know.” With that, he turned around and walked to the taxi. He got in and disappeared down the road.

With a sigh, I closed the door and went back to my room.
 
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A Life so Hard - Chapter 6

I stepped back into my room and flopped down on the bed. My door was open a crack so Rain could come in if he wanted. Sure enough, I heard a meow and the door creak open. He hopped up onto the bed and sat on my chest, looking at me. He meowed and head butted my face.

“Sorry for ignoring you yesterday, we had a very special guest.” I said.

He looked at me with a glow in her eyes, filled with intelligence. Satisfied with that answer he curled up on my chest and fell asleep, purring. I smiled and pet him, thinking about recent events. I was kind of happy and it was frightening. I mean, things weren’t bad, at all. We had a nice house, we didn’t need to worry about money. Me and dad were getting along really well. I had friends, Brian and a few people he introduced me to. Sure, I didn’t really hang out with any of them after school and this is the first “real” time me and Brian hung out outside of school, but still. It was people I could talk to and sit with at lunch. It was a nice feeling, to not be alone all the time.

I remember the last time I was happy. Then everything went to hell, literally. The fire, then Sarah, Mom, and my own medical problems. I went from being happy to terrible in no time and it only got worse. It lasted for years. I don’t know now; I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up. I mean, if things went bad once, they probably will again.

I liked Brian. I couldn’t keep denying that. I liked him since I first saw him in the mall, before we even spoke. Me getting to know him has only made me like him even more. I realized over the past few months how much of a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate guy he really was. I’d be hesitant to like anyone after what happened the first time. but, come on. His name is Brian, that’s just ridiculous. Fate can be pretty damn cruel, you know?

Well. I am going to try and have hope. We’ve moved to California. It’s a new, clean... fresh start. I have to hope, have faith that my bad luck stayed behind. I was used to Rain sleeping on my chest, feeling the weight and the warm of her on me. I found it comforting, to have that closeness with another living creature. I haven’t had that very much in my life, closeness with someone or something else. Being this close to another living thing, especially one that loved me unconditionally made me feel warm inside. With that warmth and the emotional exhaustion of having Brian around, I ended up falling asleep.

I woke up around two in the afternoon to my phone vibrating beside me. Rain had long since left, he always did. I guess I toss and turn in my sleep a lot and it makes it uncomfortable for him. I’ve probably kicked him a few times, too. Oops. Shaking off my momentary feeling of guilt, I reached for my phone.

Brian: Hey buddy.

Andrew: Oh, hey. You woke me up.

Brian: Oh? didn’t sleep well after all, did you?

Andrew: Oh, no no! I slept fantastically.

I mentally kicked myself. Shit. I wasn’t supposed to admit that. I told him that I had slept well, but now he might get the wrong idea.

Andrew: Yeah, the cat fell asleep on me and I ended up falling asleep also.

Brian: Cute. ;D Well... I was going to ask, I’m free on the 29th, have any plans?

Wait, what? he’s asking me to hang out again? After the fiasco that was the night before. I mean, I made a fool of myself. While he was showering, getting changed... waking up. Pretty much everything turned into a massively embarrassing moment for me.

Andrew: Yeah. uhm.. I don’t see why not. I don’t have any plans.

I was trying not to show how nervous and just a massive ball of emotion I was at that moment. My text was my attempt to be as nonchalant as possible, which obviously failed miserably. I could usually keep a nice, solid composure around people. I would be an iceman, emotionless, quiet. Invisible. For some reason, around Brian... that all fell apart. It was unsettling, confusing and something I clearly needed to get used to and figure out. There was a noticeable pause after my last text. Several minutes went by without a reply and, naturally, I was freaking out.

Brian: Okay, cool. I just checked with my mom and you can hang out here. I’ll text you my address a bit later.

I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. I was surprised that he would want to hang out with me again, especially at his house. I mean, he’s straight, so the events of last night and this morning must have freaked him out, regardless of how open minded he might be. It’d freak anyone out and I probably outed myself to him. At the very least, I bet he has a heavy suspicion. It’s possible that’s why he wants me to come to his house, his home turf. He can figure me out on his own terms, in his own environment. Corner me, out me and humiliate me. Well... that’s a risk I’m willing to take, to spend time with him. While I’m paranoid that this will end in the worst way possible, but that was a risk I was willing... had to take.

I can’t even begin to describe the thoughts that went through my head next. It was a blur of emotion. I think I felt pretty much the entire array of them, from guilt to pleasure to sadness to hope. I thought a lot about what Brian said and how he said it. I tried to recall his body language, to see if that gave any hints to what he was thinking. I played out a thousand different scenarios of how our hanging out would play out. In some, we have amazing sex, in others I end up on the curb with a bleeding nose and a ruined life. Naturally, I tended to stick to the worst-case scenarios.

It wasn’t a terribly long time that I was in this trance of deep thought, but around half past three I heard Elizabeth call me down for dinner. With a sigh I got up, washed my hands and headed downstairs.

“Early dinner.” I remarked.

“Hmm... yes” Elizabeth said back to me, smiling. “Your dad has a few conferences this evening, something about closing a big deal, so I made dinner a little early.”

“Will he be joining us this evening?” I inquired.

“I sure hope so.” Elizabeth replied back, without that smile ever leaving her lips. “I made a plate for him, too.” she explained, while placing mine in front of me.

“Coming. Coming!” Dad hollered from downstairs, trudging up to the dinner table, sounding like an elephant. “I would never miss a delicious dinner by the fair Elizabeth, lest I risk her wrath.” he looked at her, smiling.

“Dad... I just wanted... to... let you... know.” I said, between mouthfuls of Elizabeth’s delicious cooking. “Brian asked... if I could... hang out... on the 29th. That’s... not a... problem, right.”

I saw his brow wrinkle a bit as his expression changed. “Well. That’s actually something that I wanted to talk to you about, son.” He looked at me seriously. He dropped his fork and folded his arms. “I know Brian is your friend, and I know you’ve had a really tough time with making friends. You’ve been really depressed and lonely and haven’t really been yourself, until recently. I know he’s a big part of that. He seems like a nice guy and a good friend.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is then!” I exclaimed, defensively. “Do you have a problem with him or something?”

“Well... no.” He started again, clearly trying to pick his words carefully, to convey his intent properly. “I just think... that maybe it’ll send the wrong message. You’re a good looking young man. The girls must be all over you. But, if they see you always hanging around with this Brian fellow, they might get the wrong idea. They might think you’re gay. So... I’m just looking out for you, do you understand? I just want to see you meet a nice girl that’ll treat you right and make you happy.”

“Dad, I’m happy.” I reassured him, doing my best to swallow the shock and upset feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I’m actually... I’m not feeling very well. Can I take this upstairs?”

Elizabeth looked at me, a worried look on her face. With a weak smile she told me it wasn’t a problem. “Make sure to bring down your dishes, silly little boy.” She reminded me as I willed my feet to move up to my room.

I put the plate down on my desk, carefully closed the door until I heard the click and then threw myself on my bed. I curled up into the fetal position, not bothering to get under the covers or get undressed. The awful pain in my stomach gripped me tightly. It made me hug my knees tightly and squeeze my eyes tightly closed. Dad’s words echoed through my head, I could hear him saying them over and over again. As I became more and more focused on what he said to me, the feeling in my stomach tightened its grip on me. I tightened my hold on my knees, pulling them in closer, as I began to shake. That’s when the tears began to flow as I cried.

I don’t know how long I stayed like that, time lost all meaning. It could have been hours or mere minutes. Either way, eventually the tears stopped. Eventually the terrible thoughts surrounding my dad and what he said to me calmed down; they didn’t go away, but they didn’t seem as bad anymore. I loosened my grip on my knees and stretched out, groaning at the pain. I cracked my back as I sat up, rubbing my painful legs. I had no appetite, so, wiping my eyes, gathered up my plate and went back downstairs. Dad was downstairs in his office and Elizabeth was watching television. She never said anything to me, so either she was clueless or knew better.

I’m surprised at how much sleep I was getting, but I went back up to my room, crawled under my covers and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next few days flew by. I mostly stayed in my room, avoiding everyone as much as possible. Elizabeth kept shooting me sideways glances, but luckily dad never picked up on how terribly awkward meals were. I was literally crawling in my skin in discomfort around him.

As torturous as it was, and as boring as practically living in my room was, time flew by. Before I knew it, it was the 29th and I was getting ready to head over to Brian’s house. He has sent me a text the night before with his address and general directions on how to get there. He said he didn’t want me to get lost, be late and reduce the amount of time we had to hang out. As cute as that was, it made me slightly nervous.

After doing all the usual preparation stuff, I picked out the hottest casual clothes I could find. I practically flew down the stairs and was putting on my shoes when Elizabeth noticed.

“Hey there cowboy,” she winked at me, leaning against the railing for the stairs. “Don’t get too carried away with things.”

I shrugged off what she said, not thinking much of it. Through the door I went, practically floating to my car. I had his directions and address memorized, so I was out of the driveway and on my way in a blink of an eye. With the volume on the radio at bust, I carefully followed the directions to Brian’s house. After a few minutes I had to reach for my phone to double check where I was going. I was heading deep into the super-rich neighbourhood and I wanted to make sure I hadn’t made a wrong turn. It made me nervous when I realized I was exactly where I was supposed to be. After a few more minutes of nervous driving I pulled up to a gate, which was currently open with a little booth, like a checkpoint. I drove past slowly, incredibly nervous. No one was inside, though. I kept driving, my palms sweating as I went further down the driveway. There were trees on each side, obstructing any possible view, for privacy reasons, I guess. After what seemed like an eternity, the road opened up and saw his house. I mean, it was a mansion. The place was massive, and gorgeous.

He had told me to park in the driveway, so I reluctantly parked beside a beautiful Mercedes. Being careful not to breath too close to the car, I headed for the front door. Even that was big and elaborate; it was a massive solid oak door with handmade carvings covering the door from top to bottom. I rang the doorbell, because I didn’t think I could possibly knock in the door loud enough for there to be any noise. I waited awkwardly outside for a minute before the door opened.

“Hey man, glad you could make it. You didn’t get lost, did you?” Brian asked me, in a cheerful mood.

“No. No, I was just fine. I didn’t get lost at all.” I answered, fidgeting.

“Well, come in. Let me show you around.” He said, excitedly.

I followed him inside and took off my shoes. I looked around in shock and awe. The floors were a beautiful stained oak and there was a massive staircase in front of me. Brian motioned for me to follow him as he showed me around his house. He told me that the kitchen was made from real marble and the cabinets were some exotic wood, or something. I couldn’t really focus, my head was spinning. As he showed me the living room with the massive television and surround sound system he explained that his mom wouldn’t be home until late, because she had to work at the office.

“Here, come up to my room.” He told me, “So we can relax and stuff.”

“Yeah, stuff.” I said absent mindedly as I followed him up the stairs. “There’s something I want to talk about.” I mumbled, talking to myself.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked me, flopping down on his massive bed.

“Wait, what?” I said, in shock. I was standing in Brian’s room, leaning against the door frame and more nervous than I thought was humanly possible.

“You said you wanted to talk about something?” Brian asked me again, with concern growing in his voice.

“Uhm, well... yeah.” I answered nervously. I was fidgeting. I don’t think I’ve been as nervous as this in my life. I sat on the bed, cross legged, looking at him. He followed suit and sat cross legged on his bed, facing me. I leaned back against his footboard and looked into his eyes. I blushed, turned away and mumbled, “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

“It’s okay, dude. You can tell me. It’s not like I’m going to judge you or anything.” Brian told me in a reassuring tone.

“Okay well...” I mumbled, looking at my lap. “I’m... I’m gay.” Finally admitting it.

I looked up and was dismayed at Brian’s face. It was twisted in the most bizarre mix of emotions I’ve ever seen. I don’t think he was happy, but it looked like he couldn’t decide between shock, disgust and anger. To my horror, he quickly stood up and ran out of the room. I just sat there and had no idea what to do. Before the events that had just unfolded before me sunk in, I heard a car screech and tear out of the driveway.

The noise of the tires on pavement broke me and I started bawling my eyes out. I must have been crying for a good half hour before I could close the floodgates again. With a wipe of my eyes, I realized that I was in a strange house all alone. With the intense desire to not be there anymore, I quickly ran to my car and left.

I didn’t want to go home, because that would raise questions, so I went to the mall instead. It was surprisingly busy, but I wasn’t paying attention to the crowds. Aimlessly, I wandered around, just thinking.

I was right, you know? I was right, thinking that things were looking up and were bound to get all screwed up somehow. I suppose I was meant to be alone or something, since the two guys that I liked somehow found a way to get away from me. I’m not sure why Brian reacted the way he did. As the shock wore off, I began to realize that it didn’t really make a lot of sense. Regardless of his feelings about it, he should have stayed. Whether it was to have his way with me right then and there, to give me the “it’s cool, but I’m not like that” speech or to beat to shit out of me.

I looked up from my musing for a moment, to make sure I didn’t bump into anyone while I was walking when I saw it. I was staring at the exact spot where me and Brian first met. A pang went through my heart as I thought again about his reaction. It was made even worse by the fact that he was the first person I’ve ever told and he had to react that way. It made me afraid to tell anyone else, because they could act that way... or worse.

Another pang ripped through my heart as our eyes met. I looked him straight in the eyes and made sure to have my coldest, most distant look on my face. I wanted him to see what he’s done to me. He’s destroyed my hope, ruined my happiness that I thought I had. Everything was going well, he ruined it and now I was back in my shell. My shell had returned and I’ve crawled even deeper into it.

His look was of... disappointment? I guess. I’m not sure. He did the exact last thing that I ever thought he’d do. He walked over to me, grabbed my arm, “Come’on, let’s go.” He said. “We need to talk. I know this great greasy spoon.”

I followed him, reluctantly. I didn’t plan on saying a word to him and I had nothing to lose, so why not? He didn’t let go of my arm as we walked to this restaurant. We sat at a booth in the corner, and I made sure my back was to the wall. I crossed my arms and stared at him.

“What do you want? It’s on me.” Brian said, in a desperate attempt to start conversation.

“I’ll have a coke, but I’m not hungry.” Looking deep in his eyes, I answered, coldly.

“Look... what I did was pretty uncool.” He looked sad when he said that.

“No shit!” I wanted to yell at him and hit him. I kept silent though. I just stared.

“I... I just acted badly. I wasn’t... expecting you to say that.” He continued. He looked disappointed, in himself. He felt guilty.

Well, shit. He feels guilty. I felt the cold feeling inside of me warm up a bit.

“What you did was really shitty.” I told him bluntly.

“Yeah, man. I know. I’m really sorry. I... don’t know what got into me. I was the first person you told and I acted like that. Believe me when I tell you that I feel really low right now.”

“Why?” I asked, being rude and not really caring.

“Why?” Brian repeated my question, looking flabbergasted. “Well, it’s a long story that I’d rather not get into - no offense - but basically, I panicked.”

“Why” I repeated, a rough edge to my voice.

“Well...” Brian cleared his throat. He put his hands flat on the table and took a deep breath. “Because I panicked because I like you too.”

My jaw dropped. I don’t mean figuratively or anything. My jaw actually dropped. “Excuse you? You think I like you?” It was my turn to look flabbergasted.

“Yeah, dude. You’re not exactly subtle about it. How loud do you think showers are?” He asked me.

My face turned red with embarrassment.

“What can I say?” Brian continued. “It sounded like you have a big one, and I guess you’re kind of cute.” He winked at me.

I instantly thawed, and just like that... I was blushing and looking down at my lap again.

“You obviously like me, and I like you. Want to give it a shot? A relationship?” Brian asked.

I could only nod in response.
 
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A Life So Hard - Chapter #7

“I’ve never been in a relationship before,” I admitted to Brian sheepishly, as I stared at the grilled cheese in front of me.

“You’re really quiet and reserved, so that doesn’t surprise me.” Was the matter-of-fact response from my boyfriend. “Believe it or not, I haven’t been in one, either.”

My face shot up in surprise and I looked at him with curiosity in my eyes. He didn’t offer an explanation and I didn’t ask for one. We sat there, looking at each other for a while.

I was still in shock, at the whole thing. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. I had been preparing myself for the worst possible scenarios and literally the best thing that could have possibly happened, actually did happen.

“So, like... what now?” I asked him. I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next.

“I’m not really sure, to be honest,” Brian replied. “I mean, I haven’t not been with people, but it wasn’t exactly with the intent of being in a relationship. They were mostly ‘brief encounters’, if you know what I mean. II don’t necessarily remember them very well. What about you? Any ideas?” When Brian finished talking, his face turned into this bizarre expression. There was a lot more to what he was saying, but I didn’t want to push it.

“Uhm...” I wasn’t really sure what to say. “Well... I guess this could be our first date. So... I guess, we eat and walk around the mall a bit.”

“Sure. Sounds great.” Brian replied, with a huge smile.

So, that’s what we did. We ate and talked about different things. We talked about how we wanted our relationship to progress and we both agreed that slow and steady wins the race. After lunch we walked around the mall, laughing and talking about nonsense. It was definitely one of the best memories I have. It was perfect.

The weeks went by and I - we - adjusted to the new dynamics of our relationship. We were friends before, but this was different. Friends don’t really walk each other to their classes, or wait at their lockers for lunch, then during said lunch, go off and hide so they can eat together, alone.

During one of those lunches, with us alone, Brian spoke up about his status in the school.

“You know,” he told me, between bites of his sandwich. Apparently if he didn’t eat it as quickly as possible, it’d vanish into thin air. “Everyone kinda sorta already knows I’m gay, it’s just kept quiet for a few personal reasons. No one really talks about it out of respect for me. Everyone’s cool with it, too. Which is great. So, like... if you want to be more open about us, I’d like that, and we won’t have a problem.”

It took a little more convincing, but that’s what we did. The first time we held hands in the hallway, I was shaking. My hand was covered in sweat from my nervousness. But, like he said, nothing happened. A few people noticed, but all they did was look at us and smile. One guy high fived Brian and patted me on the shoulder. “Way to go, man!” He yelled over his shoulder as he walked away. It was funny because neither of us were sure who he was talking to.

I felt like us being together, openly, helped me with getting closer to Brian’s friends. I wasn’t some random that Brian hung out with anymore. I was a substantial part in Brian’s life and they were making the effort to make me a part in their lives, too. It was so weird. I definitely wasn’t used to it.

At first, it was all they wanted to talk about. Novelty, I suppose. But, as well, it was the first real bit of information that his friends knew about me. I had never really talked about where I came from, so no one knew me, so it was really difficult for anyone to find common interests to talk about. Brian’s friends were so nice to me, but more importantly, they were accepting of me. So, I let them in a bit. I told them about my dad and why we moved here and about the school I used to go to. They asked about my family, but I made it clear that questions like that were off limits. They respected that and stopped asking.

I started hanging out with Brian’s friends after school, sometimes without Brian, even. It felt good to have real friends. All of Brian’s friends were guys, which was really starting to freak my dad out.

“Andrew, I’m telling you.” He’d lecture me. “You spend an awful lot of time alone with Brian and you’re starting to spend a lot of time with his group of guy friends. You need to find friends that are girls. Then, you’ll get yourself a girlfriend. You’re in your final year of school, so you’re running out of time. You’re giving the girls in your class the wrong idea and they won’t be interested in you much longer unless you do something to show that you’re interested in them!”

I’d just nod, glance at Elizabeth and keep eating. I didn’t, couldn’t, argue with him about it. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I knew the day where I’ve have to tell him was getting closer and it made me afraid. I didn’t know how he’d react.

“Okay, listen.” Brian told me, one day at lunch. “The football game is after school. We have to go because Jeff is playing and he needs our moral support. He sucks at playing if he doesn’t have us eye candy to look at in the audience.” Brian winked at Jeff.

“Screw you!” Jeff snapped lightly.

“Give me a place and time, baby.” Brian jokingly replied. He turned back to me and continued,

“Anyways. So, I was thinking, me and you go to the game together. We’ll be all pumped up from the excitement of us kicking ass and go back to your place and tell your dad. You know you have to, and soon.”

I squirmed in my seat and scrunched up my nose. “Oh, well. Ugh.. I don’t know.”

Jeremy, who was sitting beside me, put his arm around me and pulled me in close. “Come on, buddy. You can do it! I have faith in you.”

I found that surprisingly comforting. Jeremy was an interesting person. He was very quiet, but loved to touch and hold people. He seemed to have a special interest in me, since he had a hard time keeping his hands off of me and jumped at any excuse to touch me. I’m pretty sure he was straight though, since I caught him several times looking at the cheerleaders. Jeremy was super sweet, really kind and always gave amazing advice. Me and him got along really well, and just had this connection.

“Well.” I said, with a defeated sigh. “I suppose it’s best to get it over with sooner than later.”

Andrew: Hey Dad. There’s a football game later. I’m going to stay after school and stay for the game, okay?

Dad: Ok.

Andrew: Brian’s going to come back with me after the game to hang out for a bit.

I didn’t get a reply, but I wasn’t too worried. Moving here, Dad got a big promotion so I knew he was pretty busy all the time. I didn’t like disturbing him, and didn’t if I could help it, but I wouldn’t be home until a lot later than usual so I didn’t want him to worry.

“Everything will work out, I promise.” Brian reassured me.

“Yeah.” I told him. We both nodded and he smiled reassuringly.

The afternoon’s classes flew by and before I knew it we were walking to the back of the school to kill some time before the game began. It was kind of hot out and the sun was blazing down on us so we went to a shaded corner of the school. We all threw off our heavy book bags and sat down on the ground.

Jeff had a huge smile on his face. “Gotta do my pre-game prep.” He explained to us as he pulled a ziplock bag out of his bag. He took out a paper and started to roll a joint.

“Dude! What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Brian yelled at him, jumping to his feet. His outburst shocked me, I’ve never seen his act like this before.

“Dude,” Jeff tried to reassure him, “I’m just having a relaxing time before our game. It’s no big deal. Besides, I figured Andrew would want in, since he’s coming out to his dad and stuff tonight. Take the edge off, sounds like he needs it.”

“Oh, no thank-you. I.. I can’t smoke.” I politely declined Jeff’s offer.

“You know better then to get that shit out around me! What the hell dude!” Brian kept yelling at Jeff.

“Jeez dude, sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Sorry man,” Jeff timidly replied.

“Come on Andrew, let’s go for a short walk while Jeff takes care of himself.” He asked me, in a calmer tone, clearly trying to stop being angry. “Do you mind staying here?” He asked Jeremy. Jeremy only nodded in response.

I got up, leaving my book bag behind and followed Brian out into the field. We sat down on one of the benches and were quiet for a few minutes.

I wanted to ask him what that was all about, but knew better then to ask him a direct question. “Everything okay?” I cautiously asked him, making sure not to look at him.

“Yeah.. it’s just. I don’t like that kind of thing, okay?” He told me. It seemed like he was struggling to find the right words to describe his feelings.

I didn’t reply. We just sat there, enjoying each other’s company in blissful silence, lost in our own thoughts.

“Jesus friggin’ Christ. You two are walking libraries.” Jeremy appeared out of nowhere, jolting us back into reality. He was lugging our two book bags, along with his own. “Come on.” He said, motioning for us to follow him as he headed for the third row of the stands, mumbling something about wondering what we had in the bags.. “Jeff went to get ready, the game will be starting pretty soon.” He explained.

We talked and laughed until the game began. Like I said, me and Jeremy just kind of clicked, and he and Brian had been friends since they were in diapers. It was great, I felt comfortable around both of them, more so than around Jeff and the others. I felt like I could be myself around these two, the walls were just a little shorter and a little thinner.

I sat in the middle, Brian on my left and Jeremy on my right. Jeremy had his arm around me because... Honestly, I actually don’t even know why. Probably just because he could. I stopped asking or worrying about that awhile ago, since he just liked to do it. I was holding Brian’s hand in my lap.

We won the game; Jeff did fantastic. Me and Jeremy waited around for him to come out of the locker room, Brian was in there too. Me and Jeremy were talking, small talk, so I didn’t notice my dad walking up to us.

“Hi Andrew,” He greeted me, “It was a good game.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, surprised.

“I just wanted to see the game and was going to give you a ride home. You take your car and me and Brian can ride in mine.” He explained, smiling. “Go on ahead, I’ll wait for Brian.”

I told him okay, and headed to my car. I was a little confused at this turn of events, but went ahead with it anyways. I got home first, which wasn’t surprising, since dad would have had to wait for Brian. I sat in the living room watching tv for about half an hour before they arrived. Dad went downstairs and Brian joined me in the living room.

“What the hell was that about?” I asked.

“I’m... not sure.” Brian replied, confused. “Don’t worry, it’s not like he asked me any weird questions. We barely talked at all, actually.” He reassured me.

A few minutes later dad came upstairs and leaned against the kitchen table. “Do you mind coming in here?” he asked, “we need to talk about something.”

I looked at Brian and stood up, going into the kitchen with him following me. “Actually, dad. There’s something I need to talk to you about, too.” I tried to sound confident, but my voice was shaking.

“Brian, Elizabeth wanted to talk to you.” Dad told him.

With an okay, Brian went upstairs.

Once Brian was gone, he turned his attention back to me. “Why were you holding his hand at the football game? Don’t deny it, I saw you!” he started getting angry with me.

“That’s what I wanted to tal-” I started saying, but was interrupted by him grabbing my hair. Before I could react he threw my head into the wall. With a sickening thud, my head made contact. Pain overwhelmed me and I felt myself losing it, I couldn’t think clearly.

I slumped to the ground in a daze, my head feeling like it was going to implode. I felt someone grab my shirt and pull me away. I fell onto my side and felt kick after kick connect with my chest. All the air in my lungs was forced out of me and I lay there, struggling to remain conscious and out of breath.

I felt like I was going to die, when suddenly it stopped. I looked up and saw Brian throwing my father across the room. Once he was sure that my father was out of the way and no longer a threat, he came rushing over to me.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry, baby. Are you okay?” His tone was soothing, but there was thinly veiled concern in his voice.

I saw Elizabeth come into the kitchen as well. She looked at me, cradled in Brian’s arms and gasped. She walked over to my father and I think her words were something to the effect of, “How could you do this to your son, Dustin? Your own flesh and blood. This is absolutely disgusting and I can never work for such a terrible human being!”

She ran over to me and both of them picked me up. I was still in a daze, but with their help I was able to walk to the front door. As they helped me put my shoes on, I suddenly remember. “Rain! We can’t forget Rain, please!” I started yelling. Both of them held me back as I tried to break free.

“Get out! Get out! Don’t come back! I have no son!” I heard my father yelling. “Get out right now!”

“Rain!” I was yelling as they dragged me outside.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. We have to go.” Elizabeth explained to me softly. “Get into my car. Your mom will know what to do.” She instructed Brian.

The car ride to Brian’s house was a blur. My chest was throbbing. I don’t think anything was broken, I was just very, very sore. My head was beginning to clear up, I was thinking more clearly now. I felt like I had the biggest headache possible. The pain was radiating from the point where my head made contact with the wall. I don’t know if it was the from the pain, or my father, but I couldn’t hold back the tears. I burst out crying, not even attempting to hold back.

“Stop the car.” Brian said, and hopped out of the front seat and joined me in the back. He put my head on his lap and began to softly stroke my hair. “Shh... Shh... It’ll be okay.” He softly reassured me. With his warmth and comfort, coupled with my sheer exhaustion, I fell asleep.

I woke up from the sudden bright lights as we entered the house; Brian was carrying me.

Karen was hugging Elizabeth. “You’re a good niece. Thank-you for trying to look out for him and Brian. You did the right thing coming right to me.”

Brian carried me upstairs and brought me into his room. “Go to sleep, Andrew. We’ll figure it all out in the morning, okay?”

Still half dazed I mumbled, “Okay...” and drifted back off to sleep, fully clothed and on top of the covers. I woke up a few hours later. It still hurt to breath, but the pain in my chest and head had dulled greatly. I was under the covers now, and only wearing my underwear. I was alone, which made me very confused.

I looked at the clock, trying to get my bearings and it said 12:47. I could hear muffled conversation coming from downstairs. Figuring Brian and his mom were talking about me, I decided to investigate. Quietly I slipped out of the room and down the stairs.

“What do you mean no? That’s not acceptable.” I heard Karen talking, into the phone, I assume. She wasn’t yelling, but you could hear the anger in her voice. She was livid and I did not envy whoever she was talking to. “No. That’s not acceptable. We’ll be there the day after tomorrow.”

I was really curious as to who she was talking to, especially since it seemed like Brian and Elizabeth were standing right beside her. What could be going on?

“He’s your son, Dustin. Please.” Her tone changed, she was pleading with him.

It hit me like a tonne of bricks. Karen was talking to my father. Why? I wasn’t sure, but she was asking him to do something. She might be trying to get him to take me back, it was possible. It didn’t really matter why she was talking to him, just the reminder of him brought all the memories of the evening back into vivid memory. I started sobbing again, as I remember him throwing me into the wall. I was sitting on the stairs and put my head into my knees as I remembered him brutally kicking me. Brian must have heard, because he was holding me by the time I started shaking.

“Shh... come on. Up to bed. You need your rest. Mom’s just making sure that you can go and get your stuff. We’ll talk about it in the morning. You need your rest.” Brian told me, softly, like he was talking to a child.

We got back under the covers of our, now, shared bed. Brian was with me, I cuddled up to him, my head resting on his chest, and slept.
 
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A Life So Hard - Chapter #8
I woke up softly, forgetting where I was for a moment. I didn't remember the events of last night long enough to try to get out of bed. The moment I moved, my chest spasmed in earth-shattering pain and my head split open like it was being jack hammered. “Ahh!” I yelled out, in pain.

“What happened?” I heard Brian yell as he rushed back into the room. He just had a towel around his waist, half his face covered in shaving cream.

“I tried to get up and forgot where I was.” I explained. Still cringing from the spasms my chest muscles were having. I, painfully, sat up in bed and pulled down the covers so I could take a look. I’m not overly muscular (a bit of a 6-pack, but nothing to brag about) but I’m not super skinny either. The middle of my chest, where my father had kicked or kneed me, was a deep, sickening purple. I couldn't help it, tears started rolling down my face, at the sight of what my father had done to me.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m so, so sorry, hunny.” Brian soothed me. He crawled onto the bed, sitting on my legs. I could feel my softness pressing against his. His firm, tight butt cheeks were resting on my legs. If it wasn't for the significant amount of pain I was in, I definitely would be sporting wood right now.

This is exactly the kind of reaction that got me here in the first place, my mind dared to think. Exploring the thought further, maybe I shouldn't be with Brian at all? I mean, if I wasn't dating a guy, I could say I wasn't gay and maybe my father would want me back. Before my mind fully processed what I was thinking, I blurted out, “Maybe we shouldn't be together.”

“Oh...” is all Brian said in response, trailing off, getting out of bed. “Well, I’m sure you have a lot of stuff on your mind. I went to school this morning and got all our homework assignments. They’re downstairs on the kitchen table. I guess I should finish what I was doing...” He trailed off again, awkwardly, before turning around and walking out of the room.

I started crying again. I don’t know how loud I was, but Brian didn't come back. It seemed like forever, but by about 1 o’clock I was calmed down and composed enough to get something to eat. I was absolutely starving.

It took me a good 5 minutes and plenty of winces of pain, but I managed to get out of bed. Once I was out of bed, I realized my attire and how inappropriate it would be for me to wander around. Slightly panicking, I looked around the room. Sitting on Brian’s desk chair was a pair of clothes, obviously for me. It took another 5 or 10 minutes, but I managed to get the jeans and shirt on. I didn't bother with socks, since they weren't necessary and the stretching was really painful.

I slowly, step by step, made it downstairs. As my foot touched the floor, Elizabeth walked through the front door. She reeked of smoke, which surprised me. She picked up on my look of surprise. “New habit I picked up...” She explained. I nodded solemnly, in understanding. “Let’s get you something to eat, mister.” That made me smile, even though she didn't have to be (wasn't getting paid to) she was still sweet as pie to me. That’s the mark of a real, genuinely good person.

I slowly slid into the kitchen, she didn't wait for me. By the time I was sitting on one of the bar stools, she had a peanut butter sandwich waiting for me with a tall glass of milk. “Drink and eat up,” she mothered me. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”

In resignation, I sighed and nodded. I didn't say anything. After my outburst at Brian, I didn't trust myself to speak or really felt like it.

After I finished eating, we retired to the living room. We lazed the afternoon away, watching daytime soap operas. Before I knew it, it was 6 pm and in through the door was Karen and Brian.

I had been mulling through the afternoon what exactly I should do, since I did owe Brian an apology for what I had said. After finally deciding what to do, it was time to put my plan into action. I popped out of my seat and as quickly as I could manage, walked over to them. I smiled at Karen, “I greatly appreciate your hospitality, especially in such a situation. I know I was pretty well thrown into your lap in a very unexpected way and I can’t express how grateful I am for you and what you have done for me. I hope you don’t think it’s rude, but I was wondering if maybe me and Brian could talk for a bit? There’s some things that need to be cleared up.”

“Yup, that’s fine. Let’s go.” Brian chirped up, heading upstairs. “We can talk in the bedroom, more privacy.”

I quietly, and slowly, followed him upstairs. My chest was still sore, but I was slow mostly because I was afraid and wanted to delay the inevitable as much as possible. By the time I got to the door, he was sitting on his chair, legs resting on the bed, waiting. With a small sigh, I entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, he spoke. “I know you’re going through a lot of shit right now. I kinda feel bad for being kind of mad at what you said, but that was a kind of shitty thing you said to me. I guess I can understand why you said it, but still. Especially after what we've, I've, done for you. I guess what I’m trying to say is... I need to know what you want, where you stand.”

I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the guilt I was feeling. “I’m … I’m sorry. You’re right, it was a pretty shitty thing to say. I guess I was just … confused and scared and I blurted that out. I don’t mean it, I swear.”

“Okay.” He said, hesitantly. “So we’re still together and everything, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” I said with confidence, looking him in the eyes. A small smile across my face. After a moment, he returned that smile.

“Great. Now that the seriousness is over...” He trailed off, not finishing his sentence. He got up and laid down on the bed. He motioned for me to do the same, which I did gladly. He got on top of me and started to kiss me. I moaned as he kissed me with more and more passion.

I kissed back, the best I could. I didn't know what to do with my hands, though. At first, I had them on the back of his head, but that seemed really weird. I moved them to his back, which seemed more natural. As his tongue slipped into my mouth, my hands moved down, finally resting on his hips.

As our tongues wrapped around each other, my hands slipped under his shirt, feeling his smooth skin. One hand moved up, but the other hand moved down, to more interesting areas. I felt his jeans on my hand as it ventured further downwards. I was soon met by the elastic of his underwear. I didn't dare slip my hand under that, I was content where I was. My other hand kept moving up, until I had moved it across his entire, muscular chest, to his nipple.

As our kissing continued to reach new heights in passion, beyond anything I could imagine, my hands did their own thing. I found myself rubbing his nipple as my other hand flicked and played with the strap of his underwear.

“Uhmm.. Hmmm.” Brian mumbled, between kisses. “Uh.. oh... Okay. You got to stop that.” He said, pulling back. My hands slipped away from their places on his body as he moved away, to sit beside me. He wiped his mouth and asked me, “Am I your first kiss?”

I nodded no, sheepishly, blushed and turned away.

“Never been in a relationship, but has kissed. The mystery of my boyfriend deepens” He teased me, absentmindedly pushing me in the chest, playfully. I visible jumped and cringed, in response. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” He exclaimed.

I took this opportunity to change the topic of discussion. “So, I spent a lot of today thinking.” I told him, seriously. He sat there, on the bed, cross legged, looking at me very seriously. He wasn't saying anything, just waiting for me to continue. “Okay, so realistically, you don’t know much about me. Which is totally my fault...” I trailed off.

Still, he sat there, letting me talk. I was mostly grateful for him not interrupting me, but kind of was wishing that he did, so maybe I wouldn't have to say what I was planning on saying. “Anyways, so given today and what happened... I thought that maybe I’d let you ‘in’ a bit more. It only seems fair.”

When I said that, he smiled and nodded. He still didn't say anything, though. He understood that this was my time to talk, and it was hard enough as it is for me to.

“Remember when we first met? Not at school, at the mall? Ever wonder why I acted so bizarrely towards you? I asked him, afraid of what he was going to answer with.

“All the freakin’ time.” He replied back, candidly. He also winked at me, signalling me that it was okay. I was really glad for that.

I sighed, the memories were coming back to me.

“It all started when I was 12...”

I’m really excited to be going to Brian’s house again today. I popped in my headphones and headed out the door. I just turned 12, even though Brian was still 11, so mom was letting me have more freedom, including going over to his house when his parents weren't home. That made things so much easier, and funner. We've been experimenting for the last few months, ever since sex ed class in school, but we were always so afraid our parents would overhear us and walk in. We were just getting past the looking phase and had started touching. I was so excited that maybe we would get to do some more stuff today.

Brian’s house was around the block and I knew the path by heart. I've walked it a million times already, it was no big deal. I walked down my street, staring at the sidewalk, lost in thought. School was over in a few months and it was going to be the best summer ever. I looked up long enough to see that there were no cars as I crossed the street. As I stepped back into the sidewalk, my head went back down and my hands were twiddling away in my pockets.

Truth be told, as excited as I was, I was also so nervous. I mean, what if Brian didn't want do more stuff? What if he thought I was gay, or something. Am I gay? As exciting as it was, it was so confusing and nerve wracking.

Brian’s parents were out of town. Our town wasn't too big, but it wasn't super small, either. His dad was a big time lawyer and was in the city for the day, fighting for some super important client, or something. I’m not really sure, he intentionally shielded both of us from his work. His wife was in court with him, watching from the seats in the back, for moral support, or whatever. I didn't really know, understand, or care. All I cared about was that they were out of the house for the entire day.

Speaking of his house, I recognize our initials in the sidewalk, so I knew his house was right across the street. I looked up and... couldn't believe what I saw. In front of his house was a fire truck. It’s lights were going crazy and, as I took off my headphones, the sirens were going nuts, too. There were hoses attached to the fire hydrant nearby and several firefighters desperately holding onto the hoses. His house, flames were everywhere. They were shooting out the windows. They covered the entire house, from the ground floor all the way up to the roof.

“Brian!” I yelled. “Brian, I’m coming for you!” I screamed. I didn't look to see who was around me, if there were any cars on the road or not. I didn't care. I just started running, as fast as I could towards the house. My best friend was in there. Helpless, trapped, alone. I needed to help him, to save him, or die trying. I didn't make it halfway across the lawn before a firefighter had me wrapped in his arms. I was kicking, screaming, flailing in every direction. I was desperate, I needed to get out of this awful man’s grip and save my best friend. I just... had to.

But I was so tired, from trying to break this tight grip on me. My throat because hoarse and I couldn't scream any more. My limbs grew weak and tired, I could no longer kick and punch. Finally... I resigned myself to fate. My friend was no more and I was alone.

I remember being picked up and carried away. I was still crying, and couldn't stop. I was being carried away from the last place Brian would ever be. I was brought over to a neighbor's porch. The firefighter stayed with me and wrapped me in a blanket. It was odd, it was really nice, sunny out, but I was shaking uncontrollably. The blanket helped though, I was so cold. My neighbor, Mr. Lawrence got me a cup of hot chocolate. I sat there, wrapped in the blanket, with the firefighter sitting in front of me, blocking the view of my dead best friend’s house.

I don’t know how long it had been, but he finally asked me where I lived. I absentmindedly pointed in the direction of my house. I realized that there was no way he could know where I meant, so I mumbled my address. He nodded and picked me up. He carried me all the way back home.

He knocked on the door and my mom answered, immediately in hysterics. She calmed down only when she was sure that I wasn't physically harmed. I went up to bed and slept...

I stopped talking, trailing off. I stared at the wall, lost in my thoughts.

“I... I... What do you say to that?” Brian asked, rhetorically. “I... don’t know what to say. I want to apologize, but that somehow seems condescending. I’m just... at a loss of words.”
“He didn't die.” I replied, absentmindedly, answering a question that no one asked.

“What happened to him?” Brian asked, out of pure curiosity. “I mean, did you two... keep... y’know?”

I couldn't help but burst out laughing, at Brian’s second question. Maybe it was because of the tension or awkwardness, but I just laughed. “No. Don’t worry.” I reassured him.

“I don’t pretend to understand what happened. I honestly didn't get the details, because I didn't want to know. Something about the smoke and burn injuries putting him into a coma, or something? I don’t really know what happened, all I know is that he was … and as far as I know, still is, in a coma.” I explained.

“Oh... so, like, you never went to visit him? To, like... see how he was doing?”

“No.” I stated, simply.

“Oh.”

“I was so hurt... lost... confused. I felt like I had just lost everything in the world that mattered to me. You know how I’m really quiet and keep to myself? That’s what started it. I just closed myself up and stopped talking to basically everyone. I've never really stopped since.”

“I guess that makes sense. You already lost ‘your’ Brian once, and you were afraid of losing your ‘Brian’ again, because of last night. I’m really sorry these terrible things have happened to you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. But rest assured, you aren't going to be able to get rid of me that easily. It’ll take more than a simple fire to stop me!”

“Yes, Dr. Phil. Speaking of rest, do you think your mom would mind if I skipped dinner altogether?” I asked Brian, between yawns.

“Naw, it’s fine. I’m just going to run downstairs, tell her that we were talking and that we are both tired and going to head to sleep.”

“Thanks babe.”

The next thing I remember after that was waking up the next morning, wrapped tightly in Brian’s arms, my head on his bare chest. I think this is the first time in memory that I woke up with a smile.
 
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A Life So Hard – Chapter 9

I could feel his heartbeat and that made me feel so warm inside, if only for a moment. The smile quickly faded as I asked, “Today is the day, isn’t it?”

I was met with a somber, “Unfortunately.”

That’s all that needed to be said. The weight of the situation came crashing down on me as I desperately clung to Brian as tightly as I could. “It’s okay, hunny. I’ll be with you the entire time. We’ll get through this.”

Getting up and getting dressed was a somber and painful affair. Breakfast was, too. All 4 of us ate in silence. Quietly we all got into Karen’s car and drove to my former residence. My stomach was doing flips the entire way and I broke out into a cold sweat. Brian, noticing my obvious and visible distress, held my hand tightly and refused to let go.

“Sorry, my hands are kind of slimy with sweat.” I apologized.

“I’m not letting go.” He reassured me.

We pulled into my old driveway and I instinctively gagged. Brian rushed to open my door, so I could lean out. “I don’t think I’m going to be sick.” I assured him.

“Take a deep breath, make sure you’ll be okay.”

After taking several minutes to breath deeply and get my stomach back under control, I got out of the car. Karen and Elizabeth were already out and at the front door, talking to my father.

“He’s not my dad.”

“Pardon?” Brian asked, confused.

“No dad would do this to their own flesh and blood. He’s not my dad, he’s my father, and in title only.”

Brian didn’t say anything, he just squeezed my hand and wrapped his arm around me. He gently pushed me to start walking up the driveway. We got all the way to the door when I noticed a burlap sack on the far side of the porch. It looked like it had something in it, with dark stains at the bottom. Leaning against the wall beside it was a baseball bat.

I think I knew at that time what it was, but it never really registered with me. We stepped inside and immediately Brian stepped in, to be between me and my father. He was talking angrily, but quietly to Karen. Elizabeth was standing there with Karen, but not saying anything. When Brian opened the door, my father looked me right in the eyes. If looks could kill, I’d have dropped dead, right on the spot.

It was a look of utter contempt. A pure, unadulterated hatred. I couldn’t bare it, so I turned away. Quickly we headed upstairs, to my room.

“I only need my clothes. The quicker we get out of here, the better.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring anything else? This is our only chance to get your stuff.” Brian asked me, concerned about my decision.

“Okay, let’s start packing… Oh shit, we didn’t bring anything to put the clothes in… Oh wait, my old luggage bag is in the closet. Grab that and whatever fits in that, we’ll take.”

“Okay.” Brian said, as he did as I said.

Quickly and quietly we packed as much of my clothing as possible. In under 10 minutes we had it filled to the brim, it barely closed. I insisted on carrying the bag down the stairs, since it was full of my stuff.

“Are you ready, sweetie?” Elizabeth asked me. Karen and my father were still talking, less heatedly now.

“Yeah. No wait. Where’s Rain?” I asked my father.

With a sneer, he told me, “Out on the porch, pick him up when you get your ass out of here and never return.”

Karen scolded him, “Dustin, that’s not necessary.”

Click.

It hit me, like a tonne of bricks. I knew exactly what he meant. I didn’t cry, I didn’t flip out. I didn’t try to hit him. I didn’t do anything. I just stood there for a moment, him staring at me with a look of gleeful satisfaction, at his accomplishment – causing me this amount of pain.

I looked at Brian, “We’re done here.” I said simply, turned and walked out the door, bag in tow. Throwing it into the trunk, I slammed it shut and got into the car.

Brian quickly followed suit, rushing behind me, concerned at my behaviour. “What about…?” He asked, as he got into the backseat with me.

“No.” I said, simply.

Elizabeth and Karen returned to the car shortly, both of them not saying anything. I think I saw Karen with a tear in her eye. I don’t really know though, because I was sitting behind her.

The drive back was just as awkward and silence as the drive there. As we pulled into the driveway of my new place of residence, we all quietly got out. Karen and Elizabeth got went into the house and motioned for Brian to join them. He was confused, but followed them reluctantly. I didn’t mind, I wanted a moment alone, anyways.

With intense exasperation, I collapsed onto the trunk of the car. After wiping away the forming tears, I quickly grabbed my stuff and went into the house.

“…on the porch? Are you serious?” I heard Brian ask, in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, right for him to see…” Karen explained, but stopped abruptly when she noticed me.

I just stood there, smiling weakly. I didn’t really know what else to do. I’m an emotional wreck and I’m all over the place. I knew absolutely nothing about what was going on, except that I wanted to be alone. I let go of the luggage handle because I didn’t even care about it anymore and went upstairs. I didn’t really ‘rush’ up, to say so is a bit over dramatic, but I hurriedly went upstairs as quickly as my bruised torso would allow.

I threw myself onto Brian’s bed and immediately regretted it. I curled into the fetal position in response to the pain. I didn’t even cry then. After everything that’s happened to me in my life, all the shitty things. I feel like this is the straw that will break the camel’s back. I am officially a broken person. I’m just… done with life.

I got up to stretch my legs then laid back down on the bed. It was about a half hour after that, that Brian came up with my luggage.

“You okay, buddy?” He asked me, hesitantly.

“Come here.” I ordered him, in an authoritative voice.

“Uh, okay.”

He went over to the other side of the bed and laid down, beside me. I flipped over and sat on his legs, his groin area around my ass. I leaned down and began to kiss his, passionately and forcibly.

“What are you doing?” He asked me, deeply confused.

“In about 5 minutes, hopefully you. Well, I mean, you to me.” I explained.

“Oh…”

I continued to kiss him with force, only stopping to take off his shirt and mine. We continued to dance with our tongues as my hands moved down to unzip his jeans. In no time, they were off and his boxers were down to his ankles.

“Oh yeah, there it is!” My eyes twinkling, as I looked at the prize before me.

My lips broke contact as my mouth started to move slowly down his body. Soon enough my lips were wrapped around it as I moved my mouth over it.

Brian released a groan of pleasure, so I knew I was doing it right. While still working my mouth on him, my hands were desperately trying to get my pants and boxers off as quickly as possible. Once I had accomplished that, I took my mouth off of Brian. He looked at me, a little sad at the turn of events.

I just winked at him as I moved closer to him. I sat down on his chest, feeling his wet hardness pressing firmly against my ass.

“Oh…”

I moved up, then slowly began to sit down again. It had been a while since I’d done this, so I went a bit slow because it did hurt a bit. After a few moments though, I felt his hair on my skin, and that’s when I began to move in earnest. I quickly picked up speed, as Brian let out louder and more pleasurable moans.

“Oh. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.” I grunted, as he moved deeply inside of me.

“Yeah, take it. Take me all the way.” He grunted back at me.

“Make me your bitch.” I ordered him.

“I’m going to make you wish you never said that.” He growled at me as he grabbed me and flipped me over. Before I knew it, I was on my back and my legs were resting on his shoulders. He leaned in and started going mad with speed. I never felt this before, it was so intense.

“Oh shit, oh man. Give it to me. Make me your bitch all night.” I begged him, whining and panting.

“I own you. You’re mine. You’re just my bitch. Take it like the bitch you are. You’re nothing but my pleasure toy.” He was grunting at me.

By that point, we were both sky high, and reached our own satisfactory conclusions. Brian went first, and the feeling of him filling me pushed me over the edge. My chest was covered, by the time I was done.

With a sigh, I felt Brian remove himself from me.

I was leaning up against the footboard, he was against the headboard. We were both looking at each other, not really sure what just happened, or the consequences of our actions.

 
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Advo <3 You’re back. In FGF and in Art Forums.

 
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Originally posted by DragonArcherZ:

Advo <3 You’re back. In FGF and in Art Forums.

Yes sir.

 
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Perception of Love

“What do you mean it’s not real?” I was in shock, I couldn’t believe what my boyfriend, sorry, fiancée, was telling me.

“Simon, Santa and his workshop at the North Pole isn’t real.”

“I can’t even right now.” I mumbled as I got up. Okay, so I’m 20, not 12, sue me. But I couldn’t help but feel like a large part of my childhood had been taken away from me. Granted, my childhood’s been over for a while, but still. This was devastating news.

Both our parents are quite wealthy, so we had gone to a private high school. That’s how we met, actually. It’s quite a cute story. Basically what happened was that I stared at him long enough in class for him to get annoyed and talk to me. The rest just fell into place.

Our parents have been incredibly accommodating, which has been really nice and super amazing. Once we announced the engagement a week ago, they insisted that Kevin moves into our house and we live in the basement apartment. I told them I’d get a job and pay rent, but they insisted otherwise. “When you go back to school, get straight As. That’s enough rent for me.” My mom had told me. I got straight As anyways, so I guess I could deal with this arrangement.

Kevin was still lying on the couch watching TV, where I had left him. He was watching the Storage Wars show. We both really liked it. They find some crazy neat stuff on there. Maybe it’s fake, maybe not. Who cares though? It’s pretty good entertainment value.

My stomach had been grumbling for quite a while, even before I found out the terrible news, so I took the opportunity to cook us some dinner. I always get caught up in my cooking and barely notice anything happening around me. A few days ago, we had like, half a dozen people, show up to our apartment and I was completely oblivious!

That day I made nachos, which was basically just taking the chips out of the bag and putting some toppings on them. Right now I was making grilled cheese. I’m not a very good cook, but I’m definitely better than my soon-to-be husband, so that’s all that counts. I never noticed him come up behind me and grab me around the waist. “Are you mad at me?” He whispered in my ear.

“No, my dear. It’s just… a part of my childhood died today, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it. Sorry to cause you such devastation. Maybe I can take it off your mind…?” I felt Kevin gently grinding into me.

“I thought you wanted to save that for our trip? I still can’t believe your parents bought us a week’s vacation to the Caribbean.”

“Oh shit! Yeah. I need to go pack. I’ll do that and you finish up making your delicious dinner, okay?”

With that, the rest of the night was set. As I made our dinner, Kevin packed all the clothes (and toys) that we’d need while we were on vacation for a week. We ate quietly in front of the t.v., discussing what our plans were for the week. We really wanted to go on one of those catamaran tours, so that was decided. The rest of the night was filled with quiet relaxation.


Getting up so early in the morning sucked, but that’s a small price to pay for the day’s outcome. Groggily we got ready then got into the waiting taxi and arrived at the airport. Check-in and customs were a breeze to get through.

Before either of us knew it, we were sitting in the terminal, patiently awaiting our flight. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to airports, so we had to wait a good two hours for our plane to arrive and be ready. That was fine, though. Kevin fell asleep instantly, like a little baby and I quietly played some games on my iPad that I had brought with me.

“Attention passengers of Flight 469. Pre-boarding has begun.”

I shook Kevin, who was sleeping on my shoulder. “It’s our turn to get ready now, hunny.”

“Ughh… saa… whaaa… Our turn? Already?”

I just shook my head and grabbed our carry-ons. Kevin snapped out of it a minute later and joined me in the lineup at our Gate, 8.

We boarded without issue, everything really had gone smoothly up until now. Within five minutes of getting into line, we were on the plane, finding our seats. Knowing the way Kevin is when it comes to sleep, I let him sit down right away, taking the window seat. Stifling a yawn myself, I carefully packed away our carry-ons in the overhead storage compartment.

The flight was without any issues, mostly. The safety talk was over in record time and we were in the air shortly afterwards. We did encounter a pocket of pretty rough turbulence. For about half an hour we had to keep our seat belts on and they couldn’t bring the food carts out. But once we had flown over the thunderstorm and it was in our hindsights, everything was fine.


“This way, I think.” Kevin said, pointing in the opposite direction, holding back a yawn. “That symbol looks like the luggage thing, so I guess our stuff will be over there.”

“Let’s see, then. But our bus is scheduled to leave in 15 minutes. I don’t know what we’ll do if we miss it.”

Luckily, we didn’t. We managed to get the last two seats on the bus, which happened to be right beside the bus announcer person. He was talking the entire time, the whole 45 minutes. It was really, really annoying, but we tuned him out pretty quickly. Who cares if he’s pointing out local things, like the grocery stores, baseball and soccer fields and where his little daughter goes to school. No offense to his daughter, but that’s not why we’re here.


Check-in at the hotel was a bit rough. The clerk had to take copies of both of our credit cards and drivers licenses. I guess that’s what I get for thinking that the day would go by without any bumps. After about half an hour, though, we were checked in and free to roam the resort.

“Okay, now that our bags are in the room, what do you want to do, Kevin?”

“You mean, besides you?”

“Shucks, try thinking with the other head for a change. We have all night and all week for that. We just got here. Let’s explore! Do you prefer the beach or the pool?”

“The pool has a bar, doesn’t it?”

“Pool it is!”

With that, the rest of the afternoon was set. We sunbathed by the pool and slowly got wasted. We had an all-inclusive plan, so most of the alcohol (except the really fancy stuff) was included. We only cared about getting drunk, not how fancy the alcohol was, so we didn’t care. I swam a bit, but just to keep myself awake and to sober up a bit.

Because we ignored lunch and had a really light airport breakfast, come dinner time, you could hear our stomachs from ten feet away. They had a beautiful buffet, but we both immediately gravitated to the hamburgers. We’re simple with our tastes. We don’t need racks of ribs or caviar or any of the other ridiculous things that were being served. We devoured two or three of them – each. The dessert was the most delicious banana-flavoured ice cream I’ve ever had.

As I was polishing off my second bowl, one of the employees approached us.

“Are you two folks having a lovely evening?” The young, pregnant, woman asked us.

“This is the best meal I’ve ever had.” Kevin told her, a smile creeping onto his face, glancing sideways at me.

“I’d like to invite you to a show we’re having this evening, if you two are interested.”

“That sounds lovely. We’ll be sure to be there.” I told her, with a warm smile on my face.

“We start at 8pm sharp. Have a good evening.” She bowed slightly and left.


The show was, surprisingly, tonnes of fun; there was live music and dancing. It was a great little look into the local culture. They had a stand-up comedian get on stage near the end. I guess the hopes were that everyone would be drunk enough that he’d be funny no matter what. He was legitimately entertaining, though. His views on how Americans think and act were quite refreshing. I’m not one to really laugh out loud, but he had me howling a few times. Kevin enjoyed him, too, which was really nice.

But here we were, lying in bed. Kevin was beside me, on my left.

“So… it’s the middle of the night now, and we’re both in bed… naked.”

It was really hot, so we had both opted to not wear clothes. I was really tired though, and not in the mood. “I know I promised you babe, and I really want… need it, but I’m so tired and still pretty drunk.”

“So am I. That’s what makes it fun.” Kevin explained, as he rolled over. He was now lying on top of me.

“I don’t know, Kevin. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, double.”

“Even just a quickie?” Kevin was asking me as he lifted my legs up. My ankles were resting on his shoulders and I could feel him pressing into me.

“I said stop.”

Kevin maintained his position for a moment, then sighed. He went back to his side of the bed. “You’re right, we are pretty tired and kind of drunk. I’m sorry if I pushed you too far. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, you don’t need to make anything up to me, okay?”

“It’s okay. I love you.”

“Simon, I love you too.”


I don’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up with a jolt. I was really confused and disorientated. As my eyes came into focus, I saw a glass door opening in front of me.

“Where am I?”

“It’s over now, none of that was real.” The voice told me, as a hand reached in and started pulling out wires and tubes.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or seeing, for that matter. All I could think about was the feeling I had, that someone else, god only knows where, was experiencing the exact same thing, right now.

 
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Russian Roulette – Chapter #1

My name is Matthew and I’m really nothing special. I’m your average, 16 year old closeted high school student. I do okay in school, not great, but not that bad either. I’m really shy, so I don’t really have anything that normal people would call friends. I talk to a few people and they’re really nice, I’m just too afraid to hang out with them outside of school. I’m not smart enough for people to want to copy off my homework, so whatever.
I live with just my Dad. I don’t know what happened to my Mom, he won’t tell me. She may have died when I was really young, or ran off. I think she may have ran off, because we have no pictures of her in the house. I don’t even know what she looks like. But maybe we have no pictures around because it hurts him too much to think about her. I don’t know, but he has never dated anyone seriously. Every few years he’ll bring home a woman and I’ll see her around for a few weeks, then she’ll disappear.

It doesn’t really bother me, though. It’s always been me and my dad and that’s how I like it. We get along well but we aren’t really that close. I’m a pretty well behaved teenager, so I’m never really punished for anything. Sometimes I forget to do one of my chores around the house, but it’s not really a big deal. We can go hours without seeing or talking to each other, sometimes days, and it’s never a problem. We’re two quiet guys that are peacefully co-habitating, one of them just happens to pay all the bills and be the parent for the other.

Speaking of paying the bills. We do okay, but not great. I realize that, but I don’t really care. Money doesn’t make you happy, right? We’re fine with what we have, it works, we’re comfortable. He’s a paralegal, so he makes decent money, but it’s just his income. We do live in a house, but it’s a 2 bedroom bungalow. Some people might snub their nose at us, but like I said, we are – I am – happy with what we have.

The good thing about where we live is that it’s super close to the school. We wouldn’t be able to afford for me to have a car, so it works. Dad can barely hold onto his and might be getting rid of it, anyways. He drives the car to the nearest train station and takes the train from there to his office. But anyways, I walk to and from school every day and it’s a short walk. It’s less than 15 minutes and it’s along a nice, scenic path; it’s actually quite pretty, I look forward to it.

My school is one of many in the city, but the smallest compared to the others. We have under 1,000 students, which makes us the only one to have a three figure student body. We generally hover around 800, spread between 9 and 12. About 200 students in a year is a lot, but generally everyone kind of sort of knows each other, at least by name. I’m one of the few that have slipped through the cracks and I’m not well known, which is fine by me. Being popular brings along notoriety and that’s not something I would enjoy. Our school is the smallest because we’re closer to the edge of town and because the physical building is quite small. We do have a football field and bleachers, but the football field is literally the same size as the entire school. But, the point I was making is that our school boundaries are pretty small and we very rarely get mid-year transfers.

That’s what made him so unusual and intriguing. I was sitting in first period Math, not really paying attention, when I heard the teacher’s tone change. This made me decide to actually pay attention.

“Oh, he’s here. I forgot to mention earlier, class, but we have a new student. His name is James and he’ll be joining our class. Please treat him well.”

Facing the chalkboard, the windows in the class were on the left side. That’s where I was, the second last row, right beside the window. That’s the best place to go, if you want to stay unnoticed. Teachers always look at the very last row, because they know students go there to hide. But for some odd reason, they always seem to ignore the second last, which makes it perfect for me. I can half-ass take notes if I want to or daydream undetected.

The only empty seat in the class was, naturally, the shitty one. It was the front right seat, right by the wall and the door. This new student had come towards the end of class, only about 10 minutes left, so the teacher used it as an excuse to end the lesson early. The room instantly erupted into hushed chatter, as all the other students turned sideways, or looked behind them, to talk to their friends. The teacher, ignoring what was going on, was resting his feet on the desk, reading the Steve Jobs biography.

These situations always made uncomfortable, because everyone’s attention isn’t focused on the front, so someone might notice me. I can’t sleep, because then someone will definitely say something. All I can really do is doodle on a page and awkwardly look around, trying to stay undetected.

I was doodling mindlessly and watching James out of the corner of my eye. The people around him were trying to chat him up, since he was the new guy. He was loving it, James seems like a really social and energetic person. “Well damn, there goes my hopes of him being my future boyfriend.” I sarcastically told myself.

I kept looking at him, out of the corner of my eye. He must have noticed because I caught him staring back at me a few times. When the bell finally went, he picked up his stuff and looked at me. I swear he winked at me before he disappeared out the door. That had my head buzzing for the rest of the day. That night, even my Dad noticed and asked me what was going on.

“Everything okay?” He asked, looking a bit concerned.

“Yeah, yeah. Just had a pretty intense conversation in class today.” I explained, vaguely.

I got a cock of the eye brows, but nothing more was said. We went back to eating our pasta dinner quietly.

Maybe there was a scheduling issue for the first day or something, I don’t know, but James wasn’t just in my math class. After that first day, he appeared in my history and english classes as well. Luckily I still had my technology class, to escape from his allure.

I know I shouldn’t, because I’ve literally never spoken to him before and know nothing about him, but I couldn’t help but stare at him. The absolute worst part is that he knew it, too! He caught me all the time, at least 2 or 3 times per class. I don’t think he had a problem with it, though. He never said anything or really did anything about it. He winked a few times, so maybe he liked it. He could be one of those straight guys that are super comfortable with their sexuality and he could just be messing with me.

Then it hit me: sexuality. Oh god, he knows! No one should know, it would not end well. I have no real, rational reason to think it’d turn my life into a living hell, I just have a gut feeling that it would be bad.

James tortured my thoughts for over a week. I thought about him constantly, wondered. I wondered what he was like, what he was thinking. If… something could happen. I doubt it, though. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and I’m… not. I’m not really ugly, I don’t think. Some would describe me as cute, but cute and drop dead gorgeous are leagues apart. That’s even if he’s interested. He’s probably not, he could get anyone he wants, guy or girl. He’s probably straighter than an arrow, though. Clearly he’s a lady killer, so he’ll have a girlfriend any day now.

I dreaded the initial and inevitable confrontation between me and James, right up until the moment it happened. It was after school. Since I walk, I’m never in a rush to leave. There was almost no one in the halls anymore, and I was lazily figuring out what to take home and packing my bag. I was deep in thought, debating whether or not to take my science textbook home when I heard a bang. Someone hit the locker beside me with their fist.

“Are you going to buy me dinner first?”

I look up, slightly confused by the question and I see James. Oh… shit.

“Uhh…” I manage to stutter out.

“I mean, you’ve been undressing me with your eyes all week. You’re cute, if you wanna see the real thing that’s cool… you just need to buy me dinner first.”

“Uhh…”

“Cat got your tongue? Or are you just really shy and embarrassed?”

“Uhh…”

“Dude, you need to actually talk if you want this to go anywhere. Do you want it to go anywhere with me?” With that, he proceeded to reach down and grab a hold of my crotch! “Yeah, based on ‘down there’, you want it. Pretty badly, I’d say.”

I blushed and backed away from him.

“I’ll tell you what. Come hang out with me at my house, no strings attached. As friends, and we’ll go from there. Okay?”

“Uhh… Okay. Friends? Just friends?” I finally managed to compose myself enough to say.

“Yup. Get your shit and follow me.”

Hastily, I gathered up my stuff and followed him out of the school, presumably to the parking lot.

“My car’s the red one parked at the far corner of the lot. She’s nice, to me at least, so I don’t want to risk her getting keyed or anything like that. Do you drive?”

“No.” I choked out.

“Oh ok, you must walk then. Do you need to let your folks know you’re not coming home right away?”

“Naw, my dad’ll be fine.” I replied, starting to get a bit more comfortable with James. “Just friends, right?” I asked him again.

“Yeah man, friends is cool. Maybe we can see how it goes from there.”

We reached his car and he pulled out his set of keys to unlock the doors. He opened the drivers side door but didn’t get in. He stood there and smiled at me. Winking, he got in and revved up the engine. with a deep breath, I got into the car. As we tore out of the parking lot, I wondered where I was going and what I had gotten myself into.

 
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Highway

“What do you mean I can’t go?” I half whined and half yelled at my dad.

“You’re not old enough to drink, so I don’t want you at this party.”

“Your dad is right.” My mom chimed in.

“God this is so unfair! All my friends are going!”

I grabbed my keys in a huff and stormed out of the house. Still angry, I revved the engine and tore out of our driveway and down the street. “I’m 18, I’m old enough to make my own goddamn decisions.” I mumbled to myself. “I’m not a child. I’m an adult and can drink if I want to. All my friends do it anyways, so it’s whatever. No big deal.”

I sometimes fight with my parents, not very often, though. Just over stupid stuff, like them wanting me to get a job to pay for the gas, for the car they got me. But in the next breath they complain about my grades not being high enough to get into a good school. I tell them that they can’t have it both ways. I’m either focused entirely on school or I get a job and slack. They don’t seem to understand that, though.

Usually their bark is worse than their bite, which is why it’s no big deal for me to take off like that. I’ll drive around for an hour or two, maybe chill at a friend’s house. I’ll come home, they’ll apologize to me (if they’re still awake) and we’ll all move on. Except once, when they actually grew a pair. After some stupid argument about me getting a speeding ticket or failing a test or… something. Anyways, they actually stopped paying for my cell phone for like four whole months. It was absolutely terrible!

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t even realized that I was already on the highway. That’s kind of bad, I guess, to zone out like that. I quietly brooded for about fifteen minutes, cruising down the highway, thinking about how unfair my life was and how mean my parents were to me.

Then I noticed him.

He’s my age, maybe a bit younger, 17, perhaps. He had short blonde hair and was absolutely stunningly beautiful. It was just him and an older guy in the car, but he was sitting in the back seat, which I thought was weird. Luckily he was, though. He was sitting behind the driver, but if he had been on the passenger side, I never would have noticed him.

I tore myself away from him to keep an eye on the road ahead of me, making sure I didn’t smash into the car ahead of me. The car in front was signalling to move back to the right lane, to take the off ramp, I guess. I started to put my foot down on the pedal when I glanced back at him.

He made eye contact with me and I’ll always remember the emotions in his eyes. He looked really tired and scared. My foot was still down to the floor so I began to move ahead of him. I glanced over my shoulder to maintain eye contact as long as possible when I saw him mouth something to me. I’m not sure exactly what he had meant to say, but it seemed like he said, “Help me.”

“Oh shit!” I yelled, as I took my foot off the gas again. As I slowed down again, I drifted back to being parallel with him.

“Help me.” He mouthed to me again.

This time it was unmistakable. I pressed the OnStar button, to get help.

“OnStar, this is Karen speaking. How may I assist you this evening, Mr. Evans?”

“Yeah, hi. I’m pretty sure the person in the car beside me is being kidnapped or something.”

“One moment please, while I transfer you to your local police department.”

There was silence for a moment. I was secretly fuming at this Karen chicks calmness. I know it’s part of their job not to panic, but it just bothered me. There was a beep and it rang twice before the line was picked up.

“This is Constable Wilkins. We have tracked you to be moving northbound. What is your emergency?”

“The person in the car beside me is being kidnapped. He kept telling me to help him.”

“Please stay on the line. A cruiser is being dispatched and will be intercepting shortly.”

Shortly? Jesus christ, that could be forever.

I kept focusing on him, trying to give him some visual cue that help was on the way. My last boyfriend didn’t put out, so I ended it quickly. This guy, he was probably straight, but maybe I could get a ‘thank you’ blowjob out of him, or something.

The Constable was asking me a bunch of questions. He asked which exits we’ve just passed, to figure out where on the highway we were. He asked me to describe the driver; I told him how the driver looked to be about 40 or so and had black hair. I couldn’t really see if the guy was heavy or how tall he was, or anything like that. I couldn’t give him a license plate number, but I gave a general colour and make/model description for him, too.

I finally got the guy’s attention and raised my eyebrows a few times. Right at that moment, the police’s lights and sirens went off, to pull the car over. The Constable asked me to pull over as well, because I needed to give a statement or something. I slowed down and stopped behind the cop car. We were all on the shoulder of the road.

Slowly the cop got out of his car. He came over to me first and asked if I was the guy that reported it. I told him I was and he nodded. He thanked me and asked me to stay in the car.

“Of course.” I assured him.

He nodded and pulled out his gun. It scared the shit out of me, watching him slowly approach the kidnapper’s car, I was gripping the wheel in anticipation. Finally he got to the window and I heard him yelling at the guy. Telling him what to do and to get out of the vehicle. When the guy was on the ground, the cop handcuffed him and threw him in the back of his cruiser.

Once that was done, he motioned for me to come over, to give my statement I guess.

“What’s your name, son?”

“Evans. I mean, Matt. Matthew Evans, sir.” My nervousness consuming me.

He chuckled. “A brave thing you did, Mr. Evans. Listen, this is pretty cut and dry. I’m going to need a statement from both you and the victim, but he’s pretty shaken up. Let me hop into my cruiser, do the paperwork I need to do. While I’m doing that, do you mind talking to him? Calm him down.”

I nodded and slowly approached the passenger side of the car, with the guy still in it. I slowly opened the door and got into the car, sitting beside him.

“Hi, I’m Matt.”

He took my extended hand and shook it. “I’m David.” He replied, weakly.

“One hell of a day, eh?”

“Happy birthday to me!” David cheered, sarcastically.

“Oh shit, it’s your birthday?”

“Yeah. I had just gotten off work and was walking home when that piece of shit grabbed me. My boss had let me off work early, it being my birthday and all.”

“Oh snap. But at least you got to sleep in this morning, right?”

“No, I went to my other job first. I went straight from there to my second one. I haven’t been home since before the sun was up this morning.”

“Jesus, that sounds harsh. What about school, man?”

“I dropped out as soon as I was allowed to. It’s just mom, trying to raise 3 of us, so she really needs the money. I also mow lawns and shovel snow, to make extra money. We do alright.”

David was smiling and I could tell he was really proud of what he does to help support his family. I felt a knot in my stomach as I thought about my home life and why I was even here right now.

“You look like you’re hungry.” I proclaimed.

“Well, I guess…”

“Let’s go grab a coffee. I doubt you’ll be getting much sleep tonight after what’s happened, so you might as well be up all night with someone to talk to.” I smiled.

“Sounds great. But, I don’t know…” His eyes moved down to the ground.

“My treat. I insist.”

“Oh, thank-you. That sounds lovely.” He looked up at me, smiling. But there was the hint of shame in his smile.

There was a tap on David’s window. He rolled it down, “I’m ready to take both your statements now.”

There was an unspoken eagerness, from both of us, to get this mess over with so we could sit down and talk, properly. I wouldn’t say that we rushed, but we certainly both quickly explained everything that happened that evening, to the cop.

“Well, I think that’s everything. David, since you seem physically fine, I don’t need to take you to get medically examined. Do you need me to take you home or is there someone that can pick you up?”

“No, I think I’m okay.” He told the cop, glancing at me and smiling.

He seemed a little hesitant, but got into his car, anyways. “You boys have a safe night.” He told us, then drove away.

I handed David my cellphone and told him to call his mom to let her know he was okay and that he wouldn’t be home right away. He walked off and spoke on it for a few minutes. He returned it to me, with a smile on his face. We both got into my car and I was deeply excited and nervous about what the rest of the night had in store for me.

 
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More Russian Roulette please :P

 
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Originally posted by DragonArcherZ:

More Russian Roulette please :P

I haven’t written any more yet.

 
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The Diary

I woke up and saw my boyfriend writing in a book. His diary! “Can I read it?” I asked him, teasingly.
“No, you cannot.”

“What do you mean 'no, I cannot'?” I whined, slightly mocking him.

“I hate when you whine so much. It’s the most unsexy thing ever.” He shot right back to me, tongue sticking out.

“It’s really not a big deal!” I shot back.

“Yeah it is. It’s my diary.”

I flopped onto Pandora’s bed and sighed. “Whatever.”

“What are you mumbling about now?”

“I was just commenting on how ugly your ass is.”

“You weren’t complaining last night.”

Last night was our Prom, we’re seniors in high school. Our dumb school, in their infinite wisdom decided to have our Prom in May, so we still had a month or so left of school. Everyone hates it, it’s so dumb. Last night was magical, though. We slept together for the first time in our six month relationship, both of us virgins.

“Come on, let’s get some breakfast. Mom and dad won’t be home for another few hours.” Pandora told me, grabbing at my wrist. His tug at me pulled me back into reality.

“It was really nice but kind of awkward for your parents to let us have the house.” I commented. We got dressed and I following him down the stairs to his kitchen.

“You’re telling me. I almost said no, out of principle!”

My face scrunched up, the thought of losing the opportunity for last night to happen.

Pandora sat down at the kitchen table and began to read the newspaper. I followed him and started cooking us breakfast. At first glance, you’d think that our positions were reversed, he was the guest in my house. If we were ten years older, we’d look like a married couple, too. Hopefully we reach a point in the future where that’s true.

But really, we’re just incredibly comfortable with each other. We were born two days apart and have known each other all our lives. Luckily, the community we live in is really tolerant and welcoming, so we faced no issues with coming out and being together. We both came out to each other first, basically at the same time. But we both decided that it was for the best if we didn’t jeopardize our friendship. I don’t regret that decision. I mean, it’s less time that I’ll have in my life to feel this closeness with him, but it wasn’t right at the time and if we rushed it then, we might not be here now.

I was so deep in thought that Pandora had to shake my shoulder.

“Hun, the bread popped two minutes ago and you’re burning our breakfast.”

I snapped back into reality for the second time this morning and went into damage recovery mode. After a few minutes of scrambling around, trying to save as much of the food as possible, I had our plates on the table.

“Not my best, but edible, I hope. You try first.” I teased him, while taking a bite of the slightly overcooked scrambled eggs.

“Something on your mind?” A look of concern was in his eyes. “Maybe about last night?”

“No, no! Last night was... It was... How do you put something more amazing than words can describe into words?”

A huge smile crossed his face. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. It seems you did almost as much as me. I’m thinking... maybe if we eat quickly, we could go for another round?”

I didn’t even reply, I just started shovelling down my food. He did the same and we were back upstairs, sans clothes in five minutes flat.

---

It seemed like it was only a blink of my eye, but seven times later over the next two days and it was Monday morning. The alarm was blaring for me to get up to get ready for school and I was alone. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for school.

A few years ago, the house beside Pandora went up for sale. It’s a bigger house than the one we had, but after a lot of talking, my parents decided that they would try to buy it. Luckily, there was no bidding war or anything. The day I found out that I was going to be living next door to my best friend was the happiest day of my life. It was dethroned by the day that Pandora asked me to be his boyfriend and that was dethroned by Friday night, after Prom.

We walked to school together, like every other day since I moved. The only thing that’s changed is that in recent months we’ve held hands while we walked. Our community has been very supportive, it’s amazing. For the first few weeks, people would slow down, honk their horns and give us thumbs up! Only once did someone race by and try to hit us with some eggs. School has been amazing, too. A few guys tried to bully us, but they became social outcasts. It was funny when one of them came out. We’re kind of friends with him, but he’s still a bit of an asshole.

We don’t have all our classes together, though. Which isn’t a bad thing, because even though he’s my better half and completes my soul, I still need some time away. Here I was, sitting in AP English, not listening to the teacher lecture on about some book that we read earlier. It’s a good thing I was an English whiz, so I could afford to have some daydreaming time. Slowly my thoughts turned to the diary. I wonder... what’s in it? Why’s he being so secretive about it?

I looked over to my right, and a great friend of mine, Jane, was sitting there, intensely taking notes. Jane and I started out as just tutor buddies (me tutoring her), but even though she’s a girl, she grew on me. We’ve been good friends all the way since we started high school. We’ve had some rough patches, but like any worthwhile friend, we’ve always gotten through them. It made me smile the first time that I saw her and Pandora alone. They’ve really taken a shining to each other, too. She’s a solid friend and a good person.

“Psst... Jane.” I hissed in her direction.

“Jeez, what do you want?” She hissed back.

I glanced up, to make sure the teacher couldn’t hear us. He had stopped writing on the chalkboard, looked back to see who was talking. He couldn’t determine where the whispers were coming from, though, so he turned around and kept writing and droning on.

I reached into my bag and tore off the corner of an old test. I hastily wrote, “Pandora has a diary???” on it and passed it to her.

She looked at it, cocked an eyebrow and thoughtfully wrote her reply. She slipped it back into my hand. Stealthily, I read what she had said. In beautifully curved letters she said, “This is the first I’ve heard of it!”

I looked at her, this time I was the one that cocked an eyebrow. She just shrugged and went back to taking notes. With a sigh, I decided to listen to what the teacher was saying for the first time today.

---

“Tell me a secret.”

“I don’t have any secrets from you, you know that.” Pandora responded, a touch of concern in his voice.

It was Friday evening and we were hanging out at my house, doing our homework. He was using my computer to do research for our history essay. I was sprawled out on my bed, working on the calculus homework. We were both as naked as the day we were born, of course.

“Okay dokay, if you say so.”

“No, don’t fucking dismiss me like that.” The hurt was clear in his voice.

“Come on, dude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Now you’re the one lying and keeping secrets. Come on, what’s going on?”

I sighed. I really didn’t want to tell him, it’s supposed to be a non-issue. It wasn’t really any of my business anyways. But at the same time, he was right. I am the one keeping a secret and lying to him about it. Finally, I resigned myself to my fate, “Fine, you’re right. There is something on my mind. It’s about your dia-”

“What the fuck, dude? I told you it was mine and not to read it!” He stood up in anger.

Uh oh. I probably should have started by asking him not to be mad. Pandora isn’t a saint, by any means, but he rarely swears. He doesn’t care if I do, so I pretend I’m a sailor, but it’s just not something he does. To swear twice, so quickly, especially the f-bomb, I knew he was upset.

“I didn’t! I promise!”

“I don’t know man. When you were over on Wednesday for Mexican night, I was in the washroom for a pretty long time. Maybe you sneaked a peak or something.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the mental imagery. “Dude, way to remind me of your most unattractive moment, ever. The noises coming from there... and the smell. Oh god, I’m not sure if I can ever touch you again!”

His face of stone began to crack, too. Before he knew it, his face was plastered with a huge grin on his face. “You still want it.” He flaunted, shaking his ass.

I motioned for him to come over, as I repositioned myself on the bed, resting my head on my pillow. He lay on top of me and pressed his lips against mine. After a few kisses and some tongue action, I broke to tell him, “I love you and I respect you too much to go through your things, especially if you don’t want me to. The other day was vile and we’ll never speak of it again, but you’re still the hottest thing to walk this planet. Now, kiss me.”

“Yes, sir!” Was the eager reply.

---

The next couple of weeks flew by. I’ve tried my best to forget about his diary, and for the most part, I succeeded. Jane never mentioned it to me again, which is a bit weird, but helpful. Our relationship bounced back, as expected, and grew stronger with each passing day. We were both in crunch time mode for our final exams, so we didn’t have much leisure time. Jane would study with us for English stuff, but most nights it was a party of two. But without the party, it was all work, all the time. We both want to get into the same, respectable university.

Things were going well, stressful, but very well, until the second week before exams started, in History. Pandora was sitting with his friend, Jackson, helping him with a World War II review. I was sitting at my desk, alone, working on the World War I one.

“Hun, do you mind passing me the textbook? I forget which date Dieppe was and need to check.”

“Sure.” I replied, reaching into his bookbag. We shared a locker and it wasn’t uncommon for one of us to borrow the other’s things, or go through the other’s bag. I started rummaging through, looking for the textbook when I noticed it. There was Pandora’s diary, in his bookbag, resting against his History book! My mind immediately went into overdrive. The gears were spinning rapidly as I grabbed his textbook. I got up, as calmly as I could, and walked over to him and Jackson.

I smiled at Jackson, glancing at his page. “Oh, no, Jackson. It’s a common mistake that the attack on Pearl Harbor happened on December the 8th. That would have been the time in Japan. For Hawaii, it was the 7th still.”

“Oh, cool. Thanks dude!” He replied back, genuinely relieved.

“No sweat, man. Here, Pandora, enjoy your textbook.”

“Thanks. You didn’t have any trouble finding it, did you?”

His question threw me off. Was he trying to tease me, or something? “Naw, you’re messy, but not that messy.” I teased back, quickly returning to my seat.

I heard Jackson ask Pandora what that was about. I could see Pandora hesitating for a moment, then leaning in to whisper to Jackson. Both their voices were hushed, and they were leaning in very close. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew it was about me. They kept looking at me from the corners of their eyes.

I leaned back in my chair. With my pen in my mouth, I stared into the chalkboard, my mind pondering all the possibilities of what was going on.

---

“Where are we going?” Pandora asked me, looking terribly confused and slightly concerned.

“The mall. I told you this, weren’t you listening?” I snapped back.

“Dude, it’s the weekend before exams start. Why are we going to the mall? We should be home, studying. Besides, you hate the mall!”

I continued driving in silent, ignoring him. After several more minutes of insanely uncomfortable silence, we arrived. Still without talking, I parked and started walking to the mall. I didn’t bother waiting for him, but he did run to catch up to me.

I walked through the mall, quietly, until I was satisfied with the spot. It was right in the middle of the mall and there was enough people around that I felt comfortable enough to go ahead with my plan.

“I have some questions for you.”

“Okay... Why are we here?”

“So you don’t make a scene.”

“That’s harsh, man. What gives?”

“Yeah, I was kind of wondering that, too. What fucking gives with Jackson the other day.”

“Oh, that. Man, that’s not anything you should be worried about. It’s no big deal. You’re overreacting.”

“Oh yeah? I’m overreacting! What about your DIARY being in your bag?” I was yelling now, getting really angry at his nonchalant lack of an answer.

“What the fuck dude, you just yelled that I have a diary in a mall full of people. Don’t be such a jerk.” His face had a hurt look on it.

My anger cooled, but I was still very upset. In a much quieter voice, almost in a defeated tone, I said “Well, it’s kind of a jerk thing what you’ve been doing to me. How do you think I feel?”

His brow wrinkled and he sighed. He noticed an empty table nearby and motioned for me to sit with him. We sat there for a few minutes, again in silence. It was still awkward, but not nearly as much. I could see he was struggling with something, probably trying to figure out how to put what he wanted to say into words.

“You know I love you, right?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Well, I do. Deeply. I know that we always do it together, but it’s a big one, so I was planning on throwing you a surprise birthday party. That’s what I was talking to Jackson about and that’s why...” He stopped, dead in his tracks.
“That’s why, what?” I asked, a hint of venom in my voice.

“That’s why I have a diary, to organize everything.” He took a deep gulp. It looked like he had just told someone something terrible, like their love one had passed.

I leaned back in my chair, unconvinced. “I don’t buy it. We always do it together. Besides, this year, both our birthdays are next week, when we have exams. We agreed not to do anything.”

“Well, the last day of exams, there’ll be a surprise party waiting at your house. I don’t want to ruin it for everyone else, so please try to act surprised.”

“I don’t have any say in this, do I?”

“Nope, and since I no longer have to make an excuse, please wait about half an hour before coming home. Thanks hun.” He kissed me on the cheek. “You hate malls and I’m not really a fan right now. Please let’s go home and study.”

---

The day finally arrived. Today was my surprise birthday party! The last of our exams was over, I aced it and was walking to the locker, on cloud nine. It was a great day.

“Oh hey.” Pandora greeted me, with a huge smile on his face. “Do you mind taking my bag for me? I have some stuff to take care of.”

“Sure.” I readily agreed.

“Make sure to wait half an hour!” He called out to me as he walked away.
Spending the next half hour in the school’s cafeteria was incredibly boring, but worth it. After what seemed like hours, finally thirty minutes had passed and I headed home. The entire way was a struggle. For a few steps, I’d try to be as slow as possible, as to not rush the surprise. But then the next moment, I was practically running, trying to get home as quickly as possible.

I turned the corner and saw my house. As I walked down the street, I got closer and closer to my front door. I noticed that there was no cars around. “Good,” I thought, “they’re smart enough to park around the corner.”

Finally, I was at my front door. With a deep breath, I opened it and stepped inside.

Silence.

No one was home.

“Hello?” I tentatively called out.

Nothing. No one was here.

Suddenly, I was overflowing with anger. “PANDORA!” I yelled.

I stomped up the stairs and slammed my door shut behind me. I slammed my bag down and threw his across my room. Tears started rolling down my eyes, the reality of the situation was hitting me hard.

“Why did he lie to me?” I asked no one is particular, thinking out loud. “I don’t understand him.”

I crawled into bed and curled up into a ball. I cried so much that I ended up falling asleep.

---

I woke up a while later. It was only a few hours, but so much had changed. It had started raining, but at least I felt better. My parents were home and it sounded like they were getting ready for dinner. I didn’t want to be disturbed so I opened my door and pre-emptively yelled down, telling them I wasn’t hungry.

I got back into bed, but didn’t hide under the covers. Why would he do this? I mean, it’s not like he could get away with it. Maybe his diary can shed some light on this.

“Damnit.” I cursed myself, “I don’t even have that. Wait, maybe he brought it to the exam.”

I searched his bag and found the diary inside. I held it in my hands, staring at it thoughtfully. This isn’t really something I should read. He was right in saying that it’s personal. But, I’m so confused and deserve answers. He obviously won’t give me them, but I need to find them out, somehow.

“I guess he doesn’t care too much about his privacy if he left it with me, right?” I chuckled to myself, trying to make myself feel better about opening it.

I stopped for a moment, and looked at the front cover. “Pandora’s Diary” was written in and it looked an awful lot like Jane’s writing.

“Weird.”

Slowly, I opened the book. With a deep intake of breath, I looked at the first page. I exhaled disappointedly when I realized the page was blank.

“What the fuck?”

I started flipping through, getting angrier and angrier as more and more pages turned up blank. It was a 150 page note book and I was staring at blank page number 149. There’s only one more pages, and if anything is written in this, it’ll be on it. Slowly I turned the page, it was blank.

“What the-”

Then I noticed it. On the last line of the page, there was something written.

“I love you, Nathan. Will you marry me?”

Stunned.

Absolutely, gobsmacked. Jesus, this kind of makes sense now. Pandora never handles this shit well. He was probably flipping out, trying to figure out what to do.

“Shit...” I kind of feel like an asshole now.

I reached for my cell phone and texted him, telling him to meet me outside, to talk.

My phone vibrated a moment later with his reply. He pointed out that it was piss pouring rain out and suggested that we talk later.

I politely thanked him for pointing out the obvious but told him that it wasn’t a request.

I put my phone down and started preparing myself. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed the tear stains from my face. Back in my room, I noticed he had replied. He told me that he’d be right outside. I shrugged, thinking that the least he could do was wait a few minutes for me, and got changed.

I slowly made my way downstairs, both out of fear, anticipation and trying to avoid my parents. I opened the front door and was greeted by the torrential downpour. I could see a figure leaning against a lamppost in front of the house.

I slowly walked up. Pandora noticed me and started walking towards me. We met in the middle of my front lawn. I grabbed both of his hands firmly in mine. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Yes.”

“You mean...?” He asked, hesitantly.

I nodded, as I pulled him into a hug.
 
Flag Post

BRAT

“My brother’s a brat and I kind of hate him.”

I paused, watching as the crowd in front of me shuffled uncomfortably in their seats. I stood at the podium, resting on it with my fingers intertwined.

“I know I shouldn’t be saying that, because he’s my brother and all, but it’s true.”

Again, I paused. Everyone in the crowd before me was looking incredibly uncomfortable and obviously had no idea where I was going with this. Frankly, I didn’t know, either. I was winging all of this, saying whatever popped into my head.

“One time, he changed all the clocks in the house to be 3 hours earlier. I ended up getting up at 4 and thinking it was 7. I got all the way to school before I realized that it was way earlier than I thought. I could have walked back home, but then I would have had to face him. I definitely would have beat the living daylights out of him. I was so angry with him, I really, really hated him for a while after that.”

I couldn’t help but have a smile creep its way onto my face, but I hid that by looking down at my feet. In retrospect, it was kind of funny. “His pranks never actually hurt me, he just kind of made my life interesting.” I looked up and noticed that a couple in the back row were leaving.

“Oh, probably the best prank he pulled on me was when he added permanent dye to my shampoo. I had blue hair for weeks and weeks! It took absolutely forever for the dye to come out, it was terrible.”

But was he doing that to torture me? Looking back, he seemed to call me Mr. Blue with a bit of pride in his voice. All the other kids at school made fun of me, but not him.

“After like a month though, he’d actually help me scrub my hair, to try and wash it off. I never really thought about it until now, but I guess that was his way of saying he loved me. He never would just say it normally… he must have been trying to express himself through pulling pranks on me.”

I sighed, as my perception about my brother was shifting, fundamentally. Looking through the crowd, I could see the faces before me soften, as they picked up on my changing emotions. I looked at the front row, where my mom was sitting. She smiled at me and nodded.

“I love my brother, too. It makes me so sad that I haven’t realized this up until now. He never hated me, like I thought he did. He’s not a brat. He’s my loving little brother that looked up to me and was just trying to express something that he wasn’t able to put into words.”

I stepped back from the wooden podium and turned around. I approached the open coffin of my little brother.

“I love you too. I’m so sorry. I wish I realized this sooner and could have told you this. I’ll miss you forever.”

 
Flag Post

NOOB

People at my high school suck. Everyone is such douchebags and assholes. Not even to me specifically, just in general and to each other. I may only be in grade 10 and I may not be one of the popular kids, but I was totally right in thinking this. The day I saw, what I hoped, was a kid from my school pop up in the World of Warcraft server I play on, was the most exciting day of my life. To my delight, the account was only a level 4, whereas I was 58.

UnobtainiumKnight69: NOOB!!!!

MadisonHighGuy95: Pardon?

UnobtainiumKnight69: your such a NOOB! only lvl 4 u loser

MadisonHighGuy95: :(

MadisonHighGuy95: I only started playing last week.

UnobtainiumKnight69: Were u from anyways NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: Uhm. Why are you asking? :)

UnobtainiumKnight69: cuz i think we go 2 the same ^skool and i wanna make fun of u in person. NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: Well, for that reason, I don’t really want to…

UnobtainiumKnight69: dun be a chicken shit u NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: Well… *sigh*

MadisonHighGuy95: Fine.

MadisonHighGuy95: I go to school at Madison High (duh) in Greenville.

UnobtainiumKnight69: i go there 2 u NOOB

UnobtainiumKnight69: ew i go 2 skool wit a NOOB like u

MadisonHighGuy95: Oh yeah, we go to the same school?

MadisonHighGuy95: Are you in grade 10?

UnobtainiumKnight69: yah. hbu?

MadisonHighGuy95: Yeah! :)

MadisonHighGuy95: This is kinda neat.

MadisonHighGuy95: Maybe we could be friends!

UnobtainiumKnight69: y wuld i wanna be friendz wit a NOOB like u???

MadisonHighGuy95: I don’t know…

MadisonHighGuy95: You seem pretty good at this game, maybe you could teach me.

MadisonHighGuy95: A lot of my friends are really cool, too. We could totally hang out.

MadisonHighGuy95: It would be awesome!

UnobtainiumKnight69: who r u

MadisonHighGuy95: My name is Taylor. :)

UnobtainiumKnight69: ew its u

UnobtainiumKnight69: teh popular guy

UnobtainiumKnight69: the jerk

UnobtainiumKnight69: no wonder ur a NOOB

UnobtainiumKnight69: i h8 u

MadisonHighGuy95: :(

MadisonHighGuy95: Why do you hate me? :(

UnobtainiumKnight69: ur a asshole!!!!

MadisonHighGuy95: Wait, what did I do to you?

UnobtainiumKnight69: idk.

UnobtainiumKnight69 ur just a jerk

UnobtainiumKnight69: NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: So, what’s YOUR name?

MadisonHighGuy95: I highly doubt it’s UnobtainiumKnight69. :P

UnobtainiumKnight69: im sam, NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: Ah.

MadisonHighGuy95: This makes sense now.

UnobtainiumKnight69: wat u talkin bout???

UnobtainiumKnight69: r u spreading rumors about me or sometin???

MadisonHighGuy95: No, no! It’s just…

MadisonHighGuy95: How do I put this into words…

MadisonHighGuy95: …People just kind of… don’t like you.

UnobtainiumKnight69: yeh i no

UnobtainiumKnight69: cuz ur all assholes

UnobtainiumKnight69: i told u this u NOOB

UnobtainiumKnight69: no wonder u suk at this game

MadisonHighGuy95: Well… no.

MadisonHighGuy95: It’s just… you’re kind of mean.

MadisonHighGuy95: So, no one really wants to talk to you.

MadisonHighGuy95: Or have anything to do with you…

MadisonHighGuy95: I’m sorry. :(

UnobtainiumKnight69: u better be sorry

UnobtainiumKnight69: ur tellin lies

MadisonHighGuy95: Okay, so.

MadisonHighGuy95: Remember earlier this year? When me and a few friends tried to sit with you?

MadisonHighGuy95: We saw you all alone at your table

MadisonHighGuy95: And we wanted to keep you company, at lunch.

MadisonHighGuy95: We were only trying to be friendly.

UnobtainiumKnight69: yah i remember

UnobtainiumKnight69: I told u jerks 2 fuk off

UnobtainiumKnight69: u were being all pity on me

UnobtainiumKnight69: asshole NOOB

MadisonHighGuy95: Dude…

MadisonHighGuy95: We were just trying to be your friend…

MadisonHighGuy95: Why don’t you believe me? :(

UnobtainiumKnight69: i dun believe u cuz ur a lier!!!!

MadisonHighGuy95: Okay, fine.

MadisonHighGuy95: I challenge you to name one.

MadisonHighGuy95: Just ONE time that I was a jerk to you.

UnobtainiumKnight69: easy

UnobtainiumKnight69: just like ur mom!!!!

MadisonHighGuy95: I’m waiting.

UnobtainiumKnight69: uh well

UnobtainiumKnight69: u put me on the spot

MadisonHighGuy95: I’m sure you can think of so many examples

MadisonHighGuy95: Since I’m such a terrible NOOB person.

UnobtainiumKnight69: …

MadisonHighGuy95: You can’t think of anything, can you?

UnobtainiumKnight69: shut up

MadisonHighGuy95: I thought so.

MadisonHighGuy95: Are you willing to give me a chance?

UnobtainiumKnight69: why are you being nice to me

MadisonHighGuy95: I’m a nice guy. :)

UnobtainiumKnight69: is this a trick

MadisonHighGuy95: Nope! I promise you.

MadisonHighGuy95: I’m not tricking you.

MadisonHighGuy95: I just want to be your friend.

UnobtainiumKnight69: hmm

UnobtainiumKnight69: i dunno bout bein friends…

UnobtainiumKnight69: but i am willing to teach your noob ass

UnobtainiumKnight69: a lesson or 2 in this game

MadisonHighGuy95: Great! :)

MadisonHighGuy95: Sounds like a fair place to start.

MadisonHighGuy95: When and where?

UnobtainiumKnight69: my house this weekend

UnobtainiumKnight69: i’ll pm you my address

UnobtainiumKnight69: my house so you cant pull anything on me

MadisonHighGuy95: Sounds great!

MadisonHighGuy95: I look forward to it. See you then, Sam. :)

 
Flag Post

TYPO

To: Brandon_The_Teddybear@rainbowmail.cim
From: joseph.roberts@fabulousemail.com

Subject: Please read.

Hi Brandon,

I know we said we wouldn’t contact each other. I’m really sorry for writing this to you, but I feel like this needs to be said and you need to see it. I can’t get you off my mind and I’m sorry for how things turned out. Things got really crazy for a while, which was my fault and I’m so sorry. I’m kicking myself now, ruining things with you. I love you so much.

I know it’s been awhile since all this happened, but I can’t get you off my mind. It’s driving me crazy, the thought of you no longer being a part of my life. I hope you respond, but understand if you don’t.

I’m so sorry,

Joseph.


There. It was short and to the point, but a lot longer than I hoped. If that makes any sort of sense at all. Nothing made sense right now, in my head. The last few days have been nothing but thoughts of him. It’s been driving me slowly insane, not being able to get him out of my mind. It was torture, thinking about him and how I drove him away.

I stared at the words on the screen. Reading and re-reading to make sure that they were exactly what I wanted them to be. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been staring at the screen for so long, possibly without blinking, or the content, but tears started to roll down my eyes. I wiped them away with my hand and clicked my mouse, hovering over the send button.

“This message has been sent.”

I switched to the Junk folder and quickly closed my laptop, with a slam. I have to do something to distract myself, otherwise I’ll drive myself crazy. I took it off my lap and put it on the couch beside me. I stood up and began pacing back and forth, freaking out.

“What if he doesn’t respond?”

Oh god, that will tear me up.

“What if he does respond?”

Jesus, who knows what he’ll say. Maybe he’ll flip out at me, for contacting him. Maybe he’ll yell at me, or say he hates me. That would break my heart. Or… No, I shouldn’t think that. I don’t want to needlessly get my hopes up.

I’ll go for a walk, I decided. Fresh air to clear my head and distract me and tire me out a bit. It’ll also get me out of the house, so I’m not tempted to check for a response.

It worked for a bit, but not for long. By the time I made it back home, I was itching again. Watching T.V. didn’t help, either.

“I suppose I might as well.”

I put the laptop onto my lap. I feel the weight of it, like a thousand pounds, crushing me down into the couch. With a deep breath, I flick open the lid.

The screen turns on and prompts me for my password. I enter it and it logs in. I pull up the browser and it says I have one new e-mail in my Inbox. With an indescribable bundle of emotions, I click to see what the new e-mail is.

“This message could not be delivered.”

 
Flag Post

With that, I’m all caught up. :O

There probably won’t be anything new for a while.

 
Flag Post

WINK

There were other coffee shops that were closer, more convenient and cheaper, but I had to go to this one. It was quite by accidentally, really – fate. While out shopping, my friend wanted to relax, so we went into this shop and he caught my eye immediately. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He didn’t end up serving us, which may have been a good thing, because I’m not sure I would have been able to talk to him.

Ever since I laid eyes on him, I was hooked. I had to come back, and I did, every day. I’d sit quietly, reading the newspaper and I’d secretly steal glances at him. He did different things every time, sometimes he’d take people’s orders, or he’d make their drinks, or be cleaning. But regardless of what he was doing, he was gorgeous. I’m not going to lie, cleaning duty is probably my favourite, because it requires him to bend down quite a bit. If the stars aligned, it was an amazing view. My close second is when he served customers. You could just tell from looking at him that he was full of life and really enjoyed talking to people. His smile was infectious and I couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin every time he did. His laugh, while I’ve never heard it, sounded hearty and full. He’s just absolutely amazing.

It’s been weeks, and I haven’t mustered up the courage to talk to him. I come here almost every day and I haven’t been able to say a word to him. If I walk into the shop and see he’s behind the register taking orders, the butterflies in my stomach force me back outside into the cold. But finally, after all this time, I’ve found the courage to take the first step. I was sitting in a booth, facing the counter on the right side. I had my newspaper in front of me, but I was looking at him over it. He turned my way and I gave him a wink and a smile.

His face… popped. I can’t really put his facial expression into words, besides saying that it was absolutely adorable. He hastily turned away and whispered something to a female co-worker of his. She nodded and motioned for him to go into the back. He hastily made his departure and I frowned when I realized he was no longer in sight. I went back to reading my paper, occasionally glancing up, to see if he had returned.

Maybe he was interested and had asked to go on break to come talk to me? I glanced up again and noticed him walking past the door. He was talking on a corded phone, pacing back and forth. I glanced at my watch and noted that he’s been in the back for at least 10 minutes. I wonder who he is talking to? A friend, to work up the courage to come see me?

After several more minutes, he returned to the front and spoke to his co-worker again. She nodded and they went back to work – he ignored me. My head was buzzing, he was making a point to not look my way. Did I upset him? My stomach was in knots, but went through the roof when I noticed a police officer enter the shop. He glanced up, noticing the officer and pointed directly at me. The butterflies were back, I was panicking. What was going on? What is happening?

Before I knew it, the police officer was standing in front of me. “You’re going to have to come with me, sir.”

 
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PAWN

I held the garbage bag firmly in my hand as I approached the house. I stood in front of the front door and calmly turned the doorknob. It was locked, naturally.

“They’re on vacation, of course.”

I patted my pockets down, realizing I didn’t bring my spare key with me.

“Oh yeah.”

In a moment of recollection, I reached into the mailbox and took out the spare key. Quietly I slipped inside.

First I went to the front room, but there didn’t appear to be anything there that I wanted. There’d definitely be nothing in the kitchen or the dining room, so I headed downstairs. With a grin I headed over to my younger brother’s XBox. I shoved all the games and accessories I could find in the bag. Next, I took all the computer stuff I could.

Going back up to the living room, I pondered if there was anything else I could fit into the nearly over-flowing garbage bag. In a stroke of brilliance I remembered my mother’s jewellery box. In the blink of an eye, I was upstairs in my parent’s room, hovering over her most prized possessions. It was mostly filled with costume jewellery, but I took her gold necklace and diamond rings.
Within minutes I was back outside, locked door behind me, waiting bus in front of me. The bus was mostly empty, but I was still getting stared at because I was wearing thinner clothes then what the weather dictated and I had a huge garbage bag with me. I saw at least one person give a nod of understanding when I got off the bus in front of the pawn shop.

I’ve been here many times before, so without breaking a sweat I walked in and started placing the valuables on the counter. They always rip you off, but I didn’t need a whole lot of money, just enough for another fix, so I didn’t really care.

“You got a good haul today, Ben.” The guy behind the counter told me.

“Yeah, parents made a donation.”

“I don’t even want to know.” He pulled out a calculator and started punching in numbers. “I’m at $200, how’s that sound?”

“Yeah! Sure!”

“Alright, I’ll just need to grab some paperwork, on account of them diamonds. I’ll be right back.”

I leaned against the counter, trying to be as patient as possible. I glanced over at the pile of my parent’s and brother’s stuff and as my eyes looked at each object, a memory popped into my head.

“I can’t do this any more.”

In one swift motion, I swept everything back into the garbage bag and I bolted out the door.

 
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BEEF

“We used to be friends!” I yelled at my attacker, as he slammed my head into the locker. The impact sent me into a daze, so I could barely hear his response.

“Yeah, used to. I got serious fucking beef with you. We have some serious issues.”

“Do it!” yelled one of his friends.

“Hit him again.” another piped up.

“This is hilarious!” added another.

“This is all a misunderstanding, just let me explain it to you, Lester. Please. I’m begging you.”

He let go of me and I could see him thinking about it. After only a few seconds, which seemed like an eternity, he rolled his eyes. “Come on Martin, in here.” he pushed me towards the nearby bathroom. He pointed to his friends, “Keep an eye out, in case things don’t work out for our buddy here.”

They smiled and nodded, the blood drained from my face. What have I just done? I can’t change my mind now, so let’s just hope for the best. This would either turn out well or I’d leave in a body bag. Either way, this torturous life would be over, so, silver lining, right?

I entered the bathroom first, with him holding me by the scruff of my neck. Unfortunately, I suppose, the bathroom was empty. He threw me into the sinks. I hit my stomach hard and it pushed out all the air from my lungs. He roughly flipped me around so I was facing him again. He grabbed me by the front of my neck and pushed me back, so my back was touching the faucet and my head was touching the wall.

“Speak. Quickly. Before I regret doing this.”

“Well, uh, you know…” I was sweating bullets. I’m not the most articulate guy at the best of times, and this situation was downright awful. “…you know, your mom, right?”

“Tread carefully.” He glared at me, eyes filling with hate. He pushed down on me more. The faucet was starting to press painfully into my back and my head was being forced against the wall even more now.

“I… I didn’t know! I swear.”

“What do you mean you didn’t know? Seems like a very specific thing to say to me. Almost no one knew she had died.”

“I swear I didn’t.”

He pressed down harder. The pain in my back was getting almost unbearable. I winced in pain.

“Your new buddies told me, I swear. They must have been jealous about how close we used to be and wanted to cut me out, or something. I’m telling the truth!”

He eased up a little bit. “Which one told you? I only told one of them.”

“Winston. It was Winston that told me.”

“Son of a fucking bitch. You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, man.”

“Fuck.” He said, as he let go of me.

I gasped a sigh of relief as I began to stretch my back, to try and stop the pain. “Look, I’m really sor-”

“Don’t apologize. I’m the idiot in all of this. I should have seen it coming. Can we be friends again?”

“I think that’s something we can do.” I smiled at him.

He smiled back, but just for a moment. His face hardened and I felt my stomach jump. He just looked at me and told me, “Whatever you do, stay here.”

I just nodded. He turned around and walked out. I could hear the exchange through the door.

“Hey man, did you teach that bitch a less-”

Smack.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

Slam.

“Yeah, you run away, you little bitch. The three of you, never fucking look at me or Mitchell again. Do you understand?”

After a moment, presumably filled with silent nods. “Damn right, not get your asses out of here. I’m going to go hang out with my friend.”