Forums The Arts

Short Story

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So this is my first topic in this forum. And this is my short story.

…Time passed, power was being gained. What everyone would see was pure evil in that man. But what he saw was good in him, he may had looked ugly, but he had a talent, a passion. An impossible dream, who knew? But a love for something is what makes it posssible. Although it could be killing a giant, fighting a ghost or making a powerful weapon, it could be possible in your imagination. At all he knew, all he did was dream, in a deep sleep for 10 years, not knowing real life. Thinking all of imagination. In a deep sleep, dreaming to become a warrior like Achilles, Diomedes and Perseus. He dreamt of all that, the beauty of combat, the powers to be gained and the magic. In a deep sleep was he laid, having an incredible dream of what he dreams to be, a powerful knight, a expert blaacksmith, what did he desire? Can it just flee? Fading his dream? No! A dream can be your bestest of friend or your worstest of enemy…

 
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Nice description and a nice start to the story!…wait, it IS a start?

 
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Vary deep…

 
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Beauty

 
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Not too bad, your spelling is in need of revision however.

Good choice of vocabulary however, your words aren’t repetitive in the slightest. I think you fully captured the message that you were trying to convey, but I would have added a little more emphasis on how the dream was more devastating over a blessing.

 
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Thx for your opinions.