going back and listening with a better system its not really a mixing issue. Most of your instruments seem to be playing in the same register, or are so close together that the song gets a bit muddled. On laptop speakers the lead was completely inaudible and the pads seemed to take over the mix.
With some better headphones things are a bit more clear but when you’re making music you have to be sure it will come through on any system. Some ways you could help remedy this (and you may have done some of this and I’m just not hearing it) but when I make electronic music I usually limit myself to a few tracks. That way I don’t have many instruments playing in a similar register. So for example I’ll have a bass, a lead, a rythm, a pad and then drums. I don’t do much 8-bit music but the formula usually holds over all areas. The bass can play single notes or arpeggios, the rythm can copy the bass or vary slightly, the pad in your song was just fine as it was and then the lead was just fine as it was.
Being your first attempt I’d say you did a pretty good job. Making electronic music is a fairly hard task. I’m not sure what program or softwares you are using but if you’d like some help with anything just shoot me a pm and I can help you get to the tools that’ll make your music better.