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Legacy of the Blood Warrior: Rebirth

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There is no possibility of a change if all you do is hope for it to happen. Hope is useless, a word to make you feel better, when all it does is crush you ever more as the forces of darkness sweep across this world. Hope won’t change anything. Only the actions of man, the physical actions of men, will change anything.

-Mathis Crond, Dark Priest of Bevorden

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Legacy of the Blood Warrior: Rebirth

A tale of war and blood


By MawkM233

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Germon Billmun cursed as the figure of a dark robed man entered his tavern. The curse to his existence, he thought bitterly, and set down the mug he had been drying as the man walked up to the counter.

“Good evening, Germon. A wonderful night, is it not?” The man asked in mock pleasantry. Even still, Germon looked past him and out the open door, at the pissing rain as it battered the dirt road, at the trees as they leaned over against the wind. Indeed, to this man, it was a wonderful night.

“And a good evenin’ to you.” Germon said gruffly, “So, what is it you wan’t this time?”

“Ah, getting down to the point. That’s what I like about you, Germon. You never beat around the bush.”

Germon glared, but said nothing. The man, seeing that Germon wasn’t going to say anything, continued. “Anyhow, I was wondering if I could borrow a horse. You see, I have somewhere to go, and I can’t very well ask some man with a wagon to take me there.”

Germon stared blankly, trying to figure out where this man was headed to this time. As he clued in, his glare grew darker. “Aye, you can have a horse. But I warn you now, priest. If you cast any curses on my village, I’ll report you to the guard captain.” The man said nothing, and leaned in close.

“Germon, if I put a curse on your village, no ‘guard’ is going to stop me.”

As the man turned and left, Germon shuddered and wished him a horrible trip. But, the priest was right. If he so decides to curse the village, no amount of guards would even come close to killing him.

The curse would have already done that much.

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By the way, any form of criticism is accepted, but please, don’t be a jerk and insult without helping to advance my writing abilities. ;D


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I see several things that I think can be improved. I am not a professional writer, but I do believe I have a grasp on the basics. The changes below are only improving clarity, rhythm, and order of action.

Regarding clarity, the first thing I added was the word muttered to clarify how Germon was cursing. For all the reader might know, he was shouting expletives at the man walking in. The second thing I changed was replaced the phrase “The man said nothing” because the man speaks in the very next sentence. This either makes the phrase, “The man said nothing” pointless or inconsistent. I also made a similar change as muttered with silently. Finally, “Germon, if I put a curse on your village, no ‘guard’ is going to stop me.” Stop him from putting a curse on the village, or stop him from doing something else? Add something else to clarify.

Some of the sentences were awkwardly worded or didn’t otherwise flow. I changed some of those. Hopefully you can hear the improvement.

When I say ‘order of action’ I am referring to the actions taking place in the narrative. Ordering draws the reader’s attention to important actions, and can build suspense, among other things. For this piece, I notice that you use the preposition ‘As’ a lot, which indicates multiple actions occurring at the same time. ‘As’ is okay to use as long as you follow these rules:

1.) Don’t over use it to the point that it becomes obvious and breaks rhythm. For example, “at the pissing rain as it battered the dirt road, at the trees as they leaned over against the wind.” Instead, replace as with other word combinations, e.g. and, that, which.

2.) Don’t use ‘As’ to assume cause and effect. For example, “Germon Billmun cursed as the figure of a dark robed man entered his tavern.” Here, it seems like you want the reader to assume that Germon is cursing because he notices the man enter, when he could just be cursing while the man enters, unrelated. Add something else to make it clearer.

3.) Don’t introduce an action in the beginning of a sentence with ‘As’. This completely takes away the emphasis from the action and focuses the reader to the conjoining action. For example, “As the man turned and left, Germon shuddered and wished him a horrible trip”. Wait – when did the man decide to leave? Did I miss that?

For contrast, this sentence is okay, “Germon stared blankly, trying to figure out where this man was headed to this time. As he clued in, his glare grew darker.” ‘As he clued in’ is a continuation of the action introduced in the previous sentence, not a new action!.

These are some basic things I noticed. Other big things I noticed were that you use a lot of exposition (you need to show more and tell less), and your piece lacks a lot of detail. For example, I have no idea what either of these characters looks like, whether the tavern is empty, full, closed, normally lively, going out of business. I know nothing that would make the interaction between Germon and the man more interesting. In fact, I didn’t even know that Germon was being brave and or intimidated by the man until the exposition at the end that says how powerful the man is.

Originally posted by MawkM233:


Germon Billmun muttered a curse as he saw the figure of a dark robed man entered his tavern. The curse to his existence, he thought bitterly. Germon set down the mug he had been drying as the man walked up to the counter.

“Good evening, Germon. A wonderful night, is it not?” The man asked in mock pleasantry. Even still, Germon looked past him and out the open door where the pissing rain battered the dirt road, and the trees leaned over against the wind. Indeed, to this man, it was a wonderful night.

“And a good evenin’ to you.” Germon said gruffly, “So, what is it you want this time?”

“Ah, getting down to the point. That’s what I like about you, Germon. You never beat around the bush.”

Germon glared, but said nothing. The man, seeing that Germon wasn’t going to say anything, continued. “Anyhow, I was wondering if I could borrow a horse. You see, I have somewhere to go, and I can’t very well ask some man with a wagon to take me there.”

Germon stared blankly, trying to figure out where this man was headed to this time. As he clued in, his glare grew darker. “Aye, you can have a horse. But I warn you now, priest. If you cast any curses on my village, I’ll report you to the guard captain.” The man cleared his throat and leaned in close.

“Germon, if I desire to put a curse on your village, no ‘guard’ is going to stop me.”

With that, the man promptly turned towards the door. As he left, Germon shuddered and silently wished him a horrible trip. But, the priest was right. If he so decides to curse the village, no amount of guards would even come close to killing him.

The curse would have already done that much.

Keep refining. I think this piece has potential.

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Thanks! I love to get feedback about my writing, and it’s even better when it helps me improve my writing!

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Chapter 1: Rhe’Thellan

Segment 1: Mage-Blade

Aradon picked the bucket off of the ground, trying hard but to no prevail to not spill any water. After waiting for the sloshing liquid to calm, he started on his way. He could just make out the roof of a watch tower poking out from behind the hill, better known as the Travelers Rest.

He had to set down the bucket multiple times to wipe sweat from his brow, and run a hand through his fair hair. By the time he made it to the Rest, he had already slung his shirt over his shoulder. Setting the bucket down on a large, flat rock that acted as a platform, he reached into it, pulling out the small, onyx colored rock he had found while collecting water at the river bank.

He stared at it, amazed by the way it sparkled when he turned it one way or the other. The rock brought to mind old tales of a cursed warrior who spent his days seeking for a deceased evil that he had killed in his past time. He was to never have any rest unless he slayed the evil, but with that evil already being gone, he was cursed to live forever, always searching. It was said that around his neck he wore an onyx stone, supposedly to lead him towards the evil that he hunted.

Thinking of the tale, Aradon turned somber. The thought of such a cursed life left him shaken. He dropped the stone back into the bucket. After picking the bucket up again, he started a slow walk down the hill.

When he arrived at the gates, he was relieved from his burden by a bulky man with a dark brown beard and no hair on top of his head. The town’s Blacksmith. “Thanks again, lad. Was running out. Tomorrow I’m going to have to get you to fetch some more though. With all the troops we’ve had stopping by for more supplies, the water and metal has been decreasing quickly as of late.” The Blacksmith shook his head, “Ain’t nothing good gonna come from all this war, Aradon. Nothing.”

The Blacksmith took the bucket from him, and walked off with it, still rambling on about his thoughts about the war.

Aradon himself thought the war was more then called for, and supported it. Altarung and Ethron were at war, two minor kingdoms in the east. Even still, Ethron’s army caused the death of everyone in Aradon’s family’s death.

Aradon’s village, Fedreny, was on the side of Altarung, which was the reason why Aradon ran out to fetch water every day. It was the only way he could contribute to the cause. He couldn’t very well fight in the army itself. He wouldn’t be able too even lift a blade, and he would be too scared to move in battle.

At times, he felt useless. The act of carrying water back and forth from the creek to the village was symbolic for him. An act of contributing to the war, and helping the legions of Altarung fight against the tyrants of Ethron.

Aradon was brought out of his thoughts when the realization that his onyx stone was still in the bucket the Blacksmith had. He took off in a headlong rush towards the Blacksmith’s shop. He stopped outside the door, suddenly feeling foolish.

How was he to get such a thing from such a large man? He, the boy who couldn’t even lift a sword. He hung his head and trudged off towards the northern area of the village, the only part of the village with a clear view of the ocean, a part of the world that had always mystified him.

When he got there, he felt his spirit lift. The water had always been calming for him. He sprinted over to the railing looking out over the massive sea bed. He closed his eyes and stood still for awhile, letting the wind blow through his hair.

He was startled when a hand tapped his shoulder. He whipped around, and suddenly felt very foolish. A girl with Auburn hair done up in a pony tail looked out at him through green eyes. She wore a white tunic, mystic designs the color of gold ran up the sides of it.

She had elbow high gloves, the same color of her tunic, also with golden symbols running up the length of them. In one hand she held a small pouch, and the other was still outstretched towards him.

She had knee high boots on with black pantaloons on. Hanging from her hip was a sword sheathed in a scabbard.

Aradon felt his face go red. This girl was a famous Mage-Blade, mystics who practiced the art of sword magic.

She took a step back and put her arm down, her eyes wide. Aradon’s gaze dropped to his feet. “Uh, hey there.” The girl started, “I was wondering if you could direct me to the blacksmith in your village? I hear he’s a master in the art.” She finished with a smile.

Aradon looked up, his legs suddenly gone weak. “Well, I, uh… I guess I could take you there.” He stammered, avoiding looking at her.

“That would be great.”


As Aradon started back the way he had came, she fell in behind him. “By the way, my name’s Elminy.” She said. Aradon nodded, and muttered his.

“Aradon, huh? Well, nice to meet you, Aradon.” She said. Aradon kept his gaze on the ground, feeling slightly nauseous.

When they arrived, Aradon was relieved. “He’s in here. I’ll uh, get going now.”

Before he could start, she grabbed his shoulder. “Would you mind waiting out here for me? I need someone to show me towards the village gates.” She asked, sounding sincerely worried.

Aradon hung his head and nodded. “Thanks!”

When he looked up again she was inside the shop. Aradon sat down on the ground and watched the sky as clouds rolled by. He couldn’t help but wonder what was transpiring between the Blacksmith and Elminy. He was suddenly hauled up off the ground by a armor clad man on a horse.

“You, boy! Have you seen a girl in white come by here?” Aradon’s face went white with fright, and he just stared blankly at him, trying to get the answer out. “Well? I haven’t got all day!”

Out of sheer fright of what would happen to him if he didn’t answer, Aradon blurted out, “No! Uh, no, I haven’t!”

The man dropped him and and rode off, leaving a trail of dust behind him. Aradon had to work hard to stop his legs from shaking before he could stand up again. A few seconds later, Elminy and the Blacksmith came bursting out of the shop.

“Are you all right?” They both asked as they helped him stand the rest of the way.

“We heard and saw everything.” Elminy said, “Thanks for not telling him.” She smiled, making Aradon feel awkward. He had no idea why he had lied to the man on the horse, but decided to keep that to himself. It was probably because he was too scared to do anything else.

“Aye, boy. That was a brave thing you just done there.” The Blacksmith said. He grabbed Aradon’s hand and dropped the Onyx stone into his palm. “By the way, I think this is yours. I figured you would wan’t it back.”

Aradon stared at it, feeling slightly better. He thought Elminy looked shocked and scared at seeing it, but figured he knew nothing about other peoples facial expressions. “This young lady here tells me that she needs some help with a problem way out in north, across the seas.”

At the mention of the sea, Aradon felt better, and looked up. “I was wondering if you might know someone?”
Aradon thought about the question, and finally he said,

“My step father apparently used to be an adventurer. I’m sure he could help Elminy out.”

The Blacksmith brightened at the mention of Aradon’s step father, Eric. “Aye, and an old friend he be.” He paused, and then frowned slightly, “But his adventuring days are over.” He scratched his beard, and then shrugged, “Well, thanks anyways, lad. I guess I’ll see you around. Elminy, why don’t you come with me and we can go check with the guard captain.”

The stared at Aradon for a moment, and then nodded. “See you around, Aradon!” She said with a grin as she started away with the blacksmith.

For some reason, Aradon felt like he wanted to offer himself for the job. The thought of traveling the seas was an appealing prospect to him. But a weakling like him would be no good on an adventure. He sighed, and waved back, forcing himself to smile back.

She suddenly ran back towards him, and pulled her hairpin out of her ponytail, and passed it to him. “I wan’t you to have this. It means a lot to me, so don’t lose it, okay?” Aradon could only nod. She smiled and ran back to the Blacksmith.

Aradon stared after her for awhile. He realized that he would never forget this day. After she passed out of sight, he turned around and started his way to his house, his gaze on the hairpin from the Mage-Blade.

Please, if you liked it, leave a comment. :D

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To anyone who has read the prologue and the first ‘Segment’, I’ll be posting a new chapter today. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, there will be a new one, although Saturday I may miss it every now and then.

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{Chapter 1: Rhe'Thellan}

{Segment 2: Plea of the Onyx}

Aradon tossed his head this way and that, trying hard to get some rest. His bed creaked as he moved around on it, and his white feather pillow was darkened by sweat. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, and it was happening now.
He sat up at the sharp howl of a wolf, which was answered by three more. They seemed so close he thought they were outside his window. Catiously, he got out of bed and stalked towards the small, curtained window.

His stomach tightened into knots as he gripped a corner of the curtain. He wondered what he would do if there was a wolf outside of his window. He wondered if it would attack him. If it did, he imagined that he would just cower.

He flinched and yanked the curtain out of the way, expecting to see the snarling snout of a rabid wolf. He let out a sigh of relief when all he saw was shingles and the canopy of stars that made the night sky. He backed away from the window and sat down on his bed, suddenly feeling less tired. He supposed he would go visit the sea. Maybe it would calm him a bit.

He fished around in the dark for his trousers and shirt, pulling them on when he found them. He grabbed his onyx off of his dresser and stuffed it into his pocket. After pulling on his boots, he made his way to the door. He pushed it open slowly, as not to wake his step father, Eric.

After making sure no one was outside waiting for him, he stepped out into the main room of his small house. A small fire was glowing in the hearth, more embers then a flame now. It gave a red glow to the room, making it look inviting. One chair stood in the room, along with a small table.

When Aradon made it the front door, it was already open. He approached it slowly, worried that something may jump out at him. When he finally made it through the door and outside, he felt less tense.

He relaxed, and began a slow walk towards the northern part of his village, his mind filled with images of calm waters and white seagulls circling above, waiting for fish to show themselves. When he got there, he was shocked. People filled the docks, watching something out in the waters. As Aradon moved his way through the crowd, he found the Blacksmith. He noticed Aradon and grabbed him by his shoulder. "What are you doing here, boy?" He asked, a scowl on his face.

"Well, I, uh... I couldn't sleep." Aradon replied, averting his eyes from the man like a little child who had been caught doing something forbidden.

"You couldn't sleep, eh? Well, I guess I can understand that. Come on, let's find Eric. He can tell you whats goin' on."

The Blacksmith lead Aradon to Eric, who was watching the waters with a telescope. He turned to around to look at Aradon as he approached. "Aradon, what are you doing here?" He asked, irritated.

"I couldn't sleep... Sorry."

"I'm not surprised. Did you hear them to, boy?"

"The wolfs?"

"Aye, the wolfs."

Eric wen't back to watching the sea, or what was in the sea. The Blacksmith gave Aradon a look, and then walked off as if he was searching for someone. Aradon watched him leave, and then turned around to Eric. "Uhm, what is it everyone is looking at?"

Eric glanced at him, and then passed the telescope to him. He pointed at a black blob. "Out there. I can't really make it out to well, but you have younger eyes, so maybe you can."

Aradon looked, and his eyes went wide and his knees got weak.

A ship was moving quickly towards them. Aradon could just barely make out figures moving around on the deck. He thought he could make out a flaming arrow on a waving flag, but wasn't sure. He moved the telescope away from his eye and sat down. "Well, child? What is it!" Eric asked urgently.

Aradon swallowed, and looked up at his step father. "I think it could be the mist hunters."

Eric stared at him, his face gone ashen. He suddenly yanked Aradon up off the ground and shook him. "Are you sure, boy? You better not be lying to me, or I'll give you a beating you'll never forget."

Aradon, to scared to do anything else, nodded. Eric let go of him and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright, boy. You head on home. I'll be there soon." He then turned to the crowd of people that were watching the ship that was making it's way to the village. "Everyone, head south! I need someone to alert the guard captain that Mist Hunters approach, and that I need some men to come assist me!" He shouted.

There was some collective gasps and whispers. Eric shouted the same order again, and they broke into a run, rushing to follow the orders through. Everyone feared the Mist Hunters. Aradon followed them around a corner, and was grabbed by a hand and hauled into a dark alley.

Another hand clamped over his mouth before he could shout for help. "It's okay, boy. It's only me." Aradon recognized the Blacksmith's voice, and calmed a bit. "Promise not to yell?" Aradon nodded, and the Blacksmith removed his hand. Aradon suddenly realized that he didn't know the name of the Blacksmith.

"Sorry 'bout that, but I had no other choice. Now, I'm sure you have some questions. If you follow me, they'll be answered." The Blacksmith started off, and, Aradon, after a moments thought about running away, followed after him.

They arrived at the back of his shop, where Elminy was waiting. When she saw him, she jumped up, her eyes wide. "Verdon, why is he here?"

"Now now, young one. You asked me to find someone suited for this job, and that's what I did."

Her face wen't red with rage, and she shot a glare his way. "Suited for the job? How is this boy suited for the job? Why, he doesn't even look like he can hold a sword, let alone wield it with skill."

"Lady Elminy, may I remind you of what he has with him?"

She looked at him with a confused expression, and then her eyes wen't wide again. "The stone..."

Aradon thought of the Onyx stone he had in his pocket, and suddenly felt worried. What did that have to do with him wielding swords? What did he have to do with any of this?

The Blacksmith, or Verdon, seemed to read his mind, and motioned for him to go step beside Elminy. Aradon did so quickly, to scared at the moment to mouth his complaints about being here. "I suppose you have a couple questions. We don't have much time, but I can answer a few."

A thousand questions swirled through Aradon's mind, and he didn't know how to start, so he asked, "Are those really Mist Hunters out there?" Verdon nodded, and Aradon had to sit down on the ground. Elminy knelt down with him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm sure your village is going to be fine."

He nodded, and moved onto his next question. "What did Elminy really talk to you about today? I don't think it was what I had first assumed."

"I'm an old friend of the Mage Blades. She needed my help with something."

"What 'something'?"

"She plans on sailing to the north where she has some business to take care of."

Aradon nodded and thought about his next question. "What job am I qualified for?"

Verdon glanced at Elminy, and then back to Aradon, who had noticed the look between them. With a sigh, she stood up and sat down in front of him. "Before I can go north, I need to get the help of someone with the ability to use a sword."

Aradon almost laughed at the foolishness of such an idea. "Me, qualified for the job of using a sword? You said it yourself, I can barely even hold a sword."

She looked to Verdon, who motioned for her to carry on. "The stone you have has magical properties. How you obtained one, I do not know. It transforms it's user into a weapon of power. The only way to effectively use it is to embed it into a weapon made of silver. Even still, you can embed it into any type of weapon and it will still enhance your traits."

Aradon stared at her with a look of disbelief. It all seemed crazy. "But, I don't have a silver weapon, or any weapon for that matter."

She nodded, and looked to Verdon. "Exactly. He doesn't even have a weapon he can use. Therefore, he is not qualified for this job."

"It's alright. I have some extras. It wouldn't take me long to attach a socket or two to a sword." Verdon replied, giving Elminy a look that Aradon couldn't read. She looked down at the ground and turned to Aradon. "Are you sure you really wan't to do this, Verdon? I mean, he doesn't even know what's out there, or what I am, or anything!"

Aradon perked up at her statement. "Actually, I do know what you are. I study legends from across the sea. I've always found Mage Blades fascinating."

Both Verdon and Elminy looked at him in surprise. Elminy blushed and looked embarrassed. "Well, actually, I'm only an apprentice, but you're correct."

Aradon looked up at Verdon, who had moved over to stand beside Elminy. "Aradon, Elminy needs someone she can count on to help her on her mission. I'm sure she would be grateful if you wen't along with her."

Aradon felt his stomach tighten. "I, I don't think I would be of much use..."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. True, you've never been noted for your strength, but your mind is as sharp as any, and your heart gentle. The Onyx stone will make up for your lack in physical size."

Aradon couldn't think of anything to say, and sat there looking at the ground. Elminy tapped his shoulder, and he looked up. "The Mist Hunters are about to attack your village. If you really don't think you're qualified for this job, then alright. But you need to be here to help your people. Verdon will get you a sword and embed the onyx stone."

"What? You wan't me to fight those men? I'm not even counted as a man. Those Hunters have been pillaging villages for years, rapping and killing as they please, and you wan't me to fight them?"

Verdon rested a hand on Aradon's shoulder. "It's not the age that makes a man out of someone, it's there ideals, there heart. If anything, Aradon, you're more of a man then half the people in Fedreny."

Aradon kept his eyes on the ground, embarrassed. "I don't know..."

"Could you do it for me?" Elminy asked.

Aradon's face wen't beat red, and he wished he hadn't been here at this moment. Even still, for some unkown reason, he said, "Okay... I'll try."

Elminy smiled and said, "Thank you. By the way, do you have that hair clip with you? There's something I have to show you."

Aradon realized he didn't grab it on the way out of the house, and replied no.

"Well, while Verdon gets a sword for you, you can go grab it, okay?"

Aradon nodded, glad for the excuse to get out of her presence for a couple minutes. His stomach was so queasy he thought he was going to throw up. He got up and ran out into the road, breathing in a deep gulp of air.

He calmed himself, and jogged towards his house, which happened to be just a couple minutes away. When he arrived, it was empty, and the fire in the hearth had gone out. He rushed upstairs and dropped to the floor in front of his bed, shoving his arm in under and fishing out the hairpin Elminy had given him.

When he found it, he rushed out of his room and back out the door. When he made it back to Verdon and Elminy, he was winded. She walked over to him and took the hairpin from his hand.

"It has a spell imbued into it. If ever you are without light, it shall act like a sun. It can be used to blind opponents to." She leaned over and passed it back to him. "Keep it safe."

Aradon watched with wonder as it illuminated in his hand. He put it in his pocket and the light died out. He looked up and, for the first time all night, smiled. "Thanks."

Just then, Verdon walked out with a sword sheathed in leather. "Here it is, boy." Verdon held the weapon out to him, and he took it, marveling at how light it felt. "I made it out of Mithril. It's better then Iron, and lighter. Where is the stone?"

Aradon fished around in his pocket for the stone. After finding it, he pulled it out and passed it to Verdon. The Blacksmith grabbed the sword by the hilt and yanked it from it's sheath.

Aradon marveled at the beauty of the blade. It's handle was made of Black leather and a gold knob at the end. The blade had been inscribed with the word Rhe'Thellan. In the middle of the hilt was a silver slot, just large enough for the Onyx to fit.

As Verdon inserted it, the blade took on a blue glow. Before Aradon could ask, Verdon said, "It announces the presence of danger. The word inscribed on the blade means Heroism in elf. In Dwarf, though, it means slayer."

"The blade is attuned to you the moment you grab it's handle. When you do, the stone will not work for anyone else." Verdon held the blade, hilt first, towards Aradon.

Aradon stared at it, feeling as if already he knew the feel of the blade. He reached out and gripped it. As Verdon let go, he felt a surge of strength and power coursing through him. The stone flared a deep purple, and his normally blue eyes turned the same color.

Elminy took a step back, and Verdon did the same. Aradon stood there with it in his hand, letting the feeling course through him. After the glow subsided, he jammed it into it's sheath and let it rest on the ground. Elminy walked up catiously. "Aradon?"

He turned to look at her, and she gasped. His eyes remained a deep purple. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Aradon, how are you feeling?"

"I don't know. I feel somehow different, but still like the same person. What was that, anyways? What happened?"

Elminy shrugged without an answer. "Verdon?" Aradon asked, hoping he would have something to add.

"I don't know. I've never heard of that happening." He looked at the blade, and then motioned for them to wait there. He ran into the shop and then came out with a belt.

"Hang your scabbard from it." Aradon nodded and took it from. He put it around his waist and hooked the belt buckle and attached the scabbard. Verdon stared at him in pride. "You look like you're more then qualified for the job."

Aradon realized that he didn't feel scared anymore, but anxious. For what, he didn't know. An idea struck him, and he suddenly took off, running in a headlong rush for his house. Verdon called out for him, but he didn't stop.

He reached his house and ran to the kitchen. He pulled open a closet and moved coats out of the way until he found what he was looking for. A brown, woolen, hooded cloak hung from a hook, way at the back of the closet. The only possession he had of his real father.

He grabbed it and wrapped it around his shoulders, tying the two straps around his neck, and tucking them inside his shirt. He pulled the hood up and started on his way out again, rushing to get back. A light drizzle had started, and Aradon figured the idea had struck just on time.

When he arrived, Verdon shot him a glare. "What are you doing, boy? Running off like that without a warning." He asked gruffly.

"Sorry..." Aradon muttered, and shrugged. Aradon noticed Elminy staring at him, and turned to her. She averted her eyes and busied herself with her hair.

Verdon cleared his throat and clapped Aradon on the back. "You have a job to do, correct?" Aradon nodded, for some reason excited for what was to come.

Elminy looked up and walked over. "I'm going with him. Even with the stone, he doesn't know how to really fight with the blade." She said. Verdon stared at her for a moment, and then nodded.

"Alright then. If you two will wait for me, I have a weapon of my own. Fedreny could use all of it's warriors."

Verdon vanished into the shop for a minute, and came back out with a hammer the size of his arm. "Alright then, let's go."

As soon as they started, the heard something explode. "Hurry! Somethings happening!" Verdon shouted over the sound, and the three of them broke into a run.

When they arrived at the scene, a fierce battle had broken out between the Mist Hunters and the guards. "Alright you two. I'm going to go find Eric. You two be safe, and remember. If you can spare a life, do it."

With that Verdon was off, pushing his way through guards and Hunters alike.

A cannon ball smashed into the side of the docks, making the ground shudder. "We have to do something!" Aradon shouted, trying to keep his balance.

"I know! But what?"

"I don't know! Your a Mage Blade, do something!"

Elminy nodded and drew her weapon. She help it skyward, and a white light shot from it. It spread around the entire dock, enveloping them. "The best I can do is a shield. But to keep it up, I can't cast any other spells."

Aradon nodded and looked out at the ship. As he looked, he suddenly felt his knees go weak, and he wished he wasn't here. He froze, and couldn't make himself move.

"Aradon?" Elminy asked, concerned. When she saw the look in his eyes, she understood. "Draw the sword!" She shouted at him.

Aradon heard her, and even though he tried, couldn't make himself move. "Hurry!" She yelled again, and this time he was able to grab it. He yanked it out of it's scabbard and was unfrozen, the fear vanishing and being replaced with a seething anger at what the men on the ship was doing to his home.

All he could see was the men on the cannons. His only goal was to get to them and end there attack on Fedreny. He gripped it tightly and positioned himself for a run and jump. "Aradon?" Elminy said, reaching her arm out to grab his shoulder.

Before she could, he took off. She shouted his name, but he didn't care. He had another goal in mind. When he reached the end of the dock, he jumped. He made it halfway to the ship before he hit the water, and he still kept up a good pace.

It occurred to him that he was no longer inside the shield Elminy had cast, and decided to be slightly more careful. An arrow struck the water beside him, and it only made him angrier.

He dodged arrows here and there, quickly making his way to the boat. He made it to a rope ladder and put his sword back into it's scabbard. The rage slightly subsided and he became slightly more aware. A Hunter leaned over the edge, arrow ready and drawn. "I hope this doesn't kill you, because I wan't to punch you full of holes." He said, and released the string.

Aradon let go with one hand and swung to the left. The Arrow just missed his head, and instead skimmed his shoulder. He grunted, and continued his climb. The Hunter laughed, and drew another arrow.

The look on his face was one of surprise when Aradon hauled himself up and over the edge the rest of the way. The Hunter released the string, and it missed Aradon, falling harmlessly into the water. Aradon unsheathed his sword, letting the rage grow again.

The Hunter dropped his current weapon and pulled out a short sword. Aradon had already moved on, knocking pirates out of his way as he made his way towards the first cannon in his line of sight. The Hunter grinned and sheathed his weapon, bending down to pick up his bow again. He drew an arrow, and took aim at the base of Aradon's neck.

He drew the string back, and released it.

The arrow came inches to striking his target. Aradon moved to the left just in time, letting the arrow fly by and strike a pirate manning a cannon in the side. The pirate screamed in pain and dropped to the ground, clutching his wound.

He watched Aradon walk past him and stayed were he was, trying to make himself invisible.

Aradon had his next target in sights, and made his way towards it. He watched another cannon ball fly through the air and smash into Elminy's shield, which flared white at the impact. Someone shouted Mage Blade, and the pirates began to panic.

The pirate at the cannon saw Aradon coming, and drew a sword. "Come to play, have you? You should have stayed in bed, little boy." The pirate sneered, and swung at Aradon.

The pirate looked in shock when Aradon's sword flashed up to intercept it. "You and the rest of these filthy maggots are going to wish they had never met the taste of my blade, for the Onyx pleads for the taste of action." Aradon growled in an otherworldly voice.

The pirate looked less sure of himself, and attempted to flee. Aradon swept a foot around and tripped the pirate up. The sword he had been holding fell out of his hand and fell off the side of the boat. He scrambled to his feet and turned around, putting his hands up in front of his face as if to block any attacks.

Aradon swept the blade in an arc and drove it far into the pirates leg. He screamed and backed away, stumbling backwards and then loosing his balance, falling hard on his back.

Blood ran down Aradon's blade, and his shirt sleeve was stained. He thought of the words, "If you can spare a life, do it."

He walked past the pirate on the ground and continued on his way. Several pirates attempted to get in his way, but he maimed them before they could get close enough. The pirate at the cannon saw him coming, and jumped over the side, aware that Aradon had already caused two cannons to go out of commission.

Pirates began to circle him, but kept a safe distance. Aradon didn't notice them. He had one more cannon to take care of.

A daring pirate suddenly jumped at him with a dagger. Aradon dropped down to one leg. As the pirate overshot, Aradon shot upright, jamming a shoulder into the pirates midsection. He hit the deck hard and slid into the railing that kept him from falling into the sea.

The other pirates began to drop back, letting go of weapons. The one at the cannon had already left. As Aradon faced them all, the Hunter he had met on the way up the ship was creeping in behind him.

The Hunter rose a sword up above his head, getting ready to split Aradon's head in two.

Aradon noticed the blade start it's journey towards his skull, and jumped out of the way. The sword still caught his arm, leaving a deep, red gash. Warm blood spilled out from the wound, staining his shirt. "I tried mercy. If you don't agree, that's your own problem!" Aradon shouted, and lunged at the Hunter, who deftly blocked the attack.

Aradon backed up and swung his sword out in front of him to keep the pirate at bay. Putting all of his weight into the attack, Aradon swung the sword in an arc, his target being the Hunter's shoulder.

The Hunter tried to block, but wasn't ready for the brutal attack. The hunter's weapon was drove through his own shoulder by Aradon's sword. He grunted, and let go of the sword handle. Aradon stood above the Hunter as he slumped against the railing, his blood running out from the gory wound.

"I tried mercy. You didn't accept it." Aradon growled, standing above the Hunter, prepared to take his life.

Just then, Elminy ran up to him, followed by Verdon, who was being followed by Eric. Behind them was a large group of guards. "Aradon!" Elminy shouted, rushing up to him. She saw the Hunter against the railing, and quickly took in the scene.

Something in the back of Aradon's mind convinced him to not kill the man he so badly wanted to.

Aradon sheathed his weapon and the rage subsided and was replaced with exhaustion. Verdon ran up, Eric beside him. "Aradon, are you alright?" Verdon and Eric asked as they saw the wounded Hunter. Aradon nodded, too tired to answer. He noticed that his arm as throbbing, and his head felt heavy.

Elminy went to inspecting him for any wounds. When she found the blood stained shirt sleeve, she pushed the sleeve up. "You're hurt. Come on, we have to get you fixed up."

Aradon nodded as Eric came over to him. "What the hell is happening here? Since when could you use a sword, let alone take on an entire ship of Mist Hunters? Nonetheless, not bad. An impressive accomplishment. We'll talk later, I have some things I need to take care of."

Aradon couldn't even nod this time. The rage had completely vanished, and he was no longer being influenced by the sword. Verdon clasped him on the back. "Not bad, boy."

Both Elminy and Verdon helped Aradon onto a rowboat, and the three of then made there way across the water to the dock. People were there to meet them, but Verdon pushed them out of the way.

Elminy and Verdon had agreed to take him to his house where they could properly take care of him. By the time they made it through the front door, Aradon could barely walk. At some point up the stairs, Elminy left to get something.

Aradon noticed she had came back some time later, and she was dabbing something at his arm. He saw Verdon talking with Eric, and passed out.
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What is this? You are writing a book or something?

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Originally posted by DemonOfMist:

What is this? You are writing a book or something?

More or less… I wouldn’t call it a book, but more of a story to work on my writing abilities. ;D

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Another chapter should be up in a few hours guys. :P

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Chapter 1: Rhe’Thellan

Segment 3: Pool of Blood

Aradon was suspended up in the air, stripped of his clothes. Below him a pool of blood churned and bubbled. Around it were burning candles, giving off a deep red glow. He tried to figure out where he was, but couldn’t make anything out. It seemed that wherever he was was like a void.

There was no ground or floor. Just blackness and an increasingly disturbing pool of blood. Aradon looked down at himself, and realized that deep cuts ran across his entire body, yet they gave him no discomfort, though he did feel a growing sickness in the pit of his stomach.

Aradon cringed at the sound of a high pitched screech. His gaze sought whatever made the sound, but he couldn’t find it. It seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Suddenly, a column of red light shot down and into the center of the pool from above him. Aradon squirmed, attempting to get away from the sinister light, but his body was being held in place by some invisible force. He watched as the light parted the pool in the middle, revealing a man wielding a sword akin to his own strapped to the bottom, his body covered in cuts twin to Aradon’s.

The wounds began to glow the same color as the column red light, making Aradon look away. He realized that his own cuts were giving off the same ominous glow. A feeling of dread was growing in Aradon’s stomach, along with the feeling of sickness.

When Aradon turned back to the man in the pool, he was frozen in fear. The man was staring at him, his face expressionless. Aradon’s head burned as a voice penetrated his mind.

“Now, me and you are one.”

Suddenly Aradon was being thrust backwards, away from whatever that place was, and into reality. He sat up in his bed, covers thrown off, covered in a sheen coat of sweat. He ran a clammy hand through his matted hair, and took a deep breath. The curtain on his window was pushed to the side, revealing that it was deep into the night.

He looked around and noticed that he was alone. Next to him was a lantern, the wick lit. He pulled himself out of bed and realized that his shirt was off. He remembered the events that had transpired not that long ago, and inspected his arm.

It was still an angry red, but was no longer bleeding. It also didn’t hurt, which he was thankful for. He walked over to his dresser and pulled a drawer open, hauling out another white shirt and pulling it over his head.

After picking up the lantern, he made his way to his door and opened it. The main room was illuminated by a bright fire, making it look peaceful and inviting. Eric was sitting in a chair reading a book that Aradon couldn’t make out.

After a moment of debate, Aradon approached him. “Eric, I, uh…” Aradon trailed off and stood there feeling uncomfortable.

Eric looked up at him, his face giving away nothing. “You’re up. That Mage Blade wanted me to tell her when you woke up. You can go see her yourself.”

Aradon nodded, and made his way to the front door, pulling his cloak off of a hook. He thought it weird that it wasn’t put back in it’s original spot, but figured that there probably hadn’t been much time.

He pulled it around his shoulders and opened the door. He felt like there was something he should have said to Eric, but couldn’t think of what to say. He sighed and stepped out into the crisp, night air, closing the door behind him and leaving Eric to his book.

No one was in sight. He supposed that everyone was probably trying to get some sleep. His first thought was to go to Verson’s shop, but decided he needed some time to be alone. Aradon started his walk to the docks.

When he got there, he couldn’t believe what had happened to it. Stone debris lay everywhere, spattered with blood. Weapons lay scattered here and there, and the railing was hanging halfway in the water. Aradon was shocked, but hadn’t expected much more. In the water, a burning husk of the ship now stood.

“It’s horrible, isn’t it?” Said Elminy as she came up beside him. Aradon turned to look at her, and thought she looked tired.

“Kind of… Elminy, what happened? I remember some of it, but some things are hazy.” Aradon asked her, desperate to know why he felt so angry. He thought maybe it was because of what had happened here, but he knew there was something else.

She turned to look at him, a solemn look on her face. “Aradon, you don’t remember?” Aradon shook his head no, and she looked away. “It was nothing important. Just know that you helped bring the pirates to justice.”

Aradon stared at her for awhile, not quite buying it, but sensing she didn’t wan’t to talk about it, so he changed the subject. “Eric said I should come see you. What is it?”

“That’s right, I did ask him to tell you to come see me. Sorry, I almost forgot. Come on, Verdon will be waiting for us at his shop.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him along, forcing him to run. When they made it to Verdon’s, Aradon was breathing hard. Elminy walked up to the door and knocked on it.

It swung open and she stepped inside. Aradon waited a moment, and followed. The interior of the shop was lit brightly by torches around the walls. Three chairs had been set up. Aradon noticed his sword leaning up against one, and wen’t for it. He was stopped by Verdon, who grabbed his shoulder.

“Hold on now boy, we have some things to talk about.” He said, his gaze on the weapon. Aradon looked up at him and nodded.

Verdon walked him over to a chair and sat him down. Elminy took the seat next to him, and Verdon walked over to the one facing them. Aradon watched as Verdon picked up the sheathed weapon and laid it in his lap. “Alright. Aradon, how much do you remember?”

“Some of it, but not much.” He muttered, keeping his gaze on the ground. Verdon and Elminy shared a look, one that Aradon missed.

“Hmm. Well, that doesn’t overly matter.” Verdon murmured. “Aradon, what did you mean earlier when you we were patching you up. You said something about being held over the pool of blood.”

Aradon looked up at that remark and said, “I was dreaming about being suspended in the air above a pool of blood. It was in this place of blackness. I couldn’t see any walls or a floor. There was a red light that came from above, and it parted the pool in the middle. There was this man in the bottom covered in glowing red lines. He had a weapon like mine. He looked at me, and then I woke up. There was no one else in the room.”

Both Elminy and Verdon were looking at him. Aradon decided to leave out the last part, about the man saying, “Now, we are one.”

“Aradon, are you okay?” Elminy asked, laying a hand on his shoulder. Aradon realized he was trembling, and forced himself to stop. The dream had truly left him shaken.

“I’m fine. I guess the dream just scared me a bit, that’s all.” He lied.

Verdon cleared his throat and asked, “Aradon, is there anything else that you may have noticed?” Aradon kept his gaze on the ground and shook his head no. “Alright then, boy. We’ll drop the subject now.”

Aradon muttered a thanks, and sat back in his chair. There was an uncomfortable silence, until Verdon said, “Aradon, you certainly held your own out there with that sword. I believe Elminy has somethings she would like to talk to you. I have some things I need to take care of.” Verdon stood up and left the shop, leaving the sword on the chair. Elminy walked over and picked it up, then returned back to her chair beside Aradon.

“Aradon, I would like to thank you on the behalf of Fedreny and it’s people for your actions in battle earlier tonight.” She said as she stroked the handle of the blade. “It was a great deed you did tonight, and one that won’t ever be forgotten.”

Aradon looked at her, not sure what she was talking about. He noticed she was making a point of not looking at him, and looked away, focusing on a torch flame as it weaved back and forth instead. “Aradon, I have decided that you would be more then qualified to come with me, if you so choose.”

Aradon looked at her again, and this time she was looking back. She held the sword out to him and said, “If you pick up this blade from my hands, then you accept the job. If you don’t, then I will have to find someone else to go with me.”

Aradon stared at it. He sensed that if he picked up the blade, he would know what it was that happened tonight. He also knew that if he didn’t pick it up, he wouldn’t get to travel the sea. He wouldn’t get to see Elminy for a long time, perhaps for the rest of his life. “Aradon, I know this is selfish, but please, I would personally ask that you come with me. I understand completely if you choose not to.”

Aradon stared at the sword for a moment, contemplating the consequences. This wasn’t who he was. He was a wimpy kid who carried buckets full of water from creeks to the Blacksmith every day, not a swordsman who was about to go on some grand adventure with a Mage Blade.

Even still, without realizing it, he reached out and took the sword from Elminy. When he touched it, he expected to be reminded of what he was missing. He was slightly upset when nothing happened and glad at the same time.

He hooked it to his belt and looked up at Elminy, who gave him a sincere smile of gratitude. “Thank you, so much. I couldn’t imagine not taking you with me, not after all that has happened.” Her smile diminished and was replaced with a frown, “Aradon, I’m sorry for what I did to you. I know how weird this must be. But, if you can forgive me, than maybe we could be friends instead of just travelling partners?”

Aradon felt a wave of emotions at the moment, but none of them was resentment for what Elminy had done to him. “Uh, sure.” Elminy stared at him, surprised. “What? Did I do something wrong?” He asked, truly concerned.

Elminy giggled and shook her head no, “Sorry, it’s just that I thought you would be upset. I’m glad you aren’t, though.” She leaned over and hugged him, making Aradon feel awkward. He returned the hug, if a little reluctant. He had to admit, it felt good. He hadn’t had any human contact like that since his mother died.

When she drew back, Verdon walked in. When he noticed the sword was on Aradon’s hip, he looked relieved, but not surprised. “I see that you’ll be going with the girl. I got someone to take you guys across. You guys stay here for the night. That door there will lead to my bedroom.” He pointed to the back wall, where Aradon noticed a door he hadn’t seen earlier. “Elminy, you will sleep there for the night. Me and Aradon can roll out some bedrolls on the floor out here.” Elminy nodded and waved goodnight. After she had left, Verdon turned to Aradon. “Aradon, don’t go back to your house. Eric didn’t take the news so well. He has a grudge against Mage Blades, and doesn’t like anyone associated with them. After you and Elminy leave, I’ll try to talk some sense into him. Maybe when you return he’ll be more understanding.”

Aradon nodded, unable to say anything through the lump in his throat. Verdon wen’t over to a small chest and pulled out two bedrolls. He tossed one to Aradon, who barely caught it. “Happy dreams, boy.”

Aradon fell asleep shortly after he wen’t to lie down. He slept peacefully, his dreams blank.