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Post Your Best Tyrant Jokes Here

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Commedian formum, post your jokes.

 
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a quote: Under rating threshold (hide) I just spent 120 WB on bronze packs (I joined elite) because of ElGeneral. Bad idea, I did not get any good cards, I would not suggest it. More cards do not equal better decks.

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(-19)

 
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Finally, a bonafied commedian formum.

Two peanuts are walking down a back alley, one was a salted.

Bonus joke: What do you call a bear that’s been to the dentist? A molar bear!

 
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What did dracorex say to fenrir, your to jewish.

 
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What did the pummeler say to the Missile Silo?

I’ll just SIEGE you later!

 
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Freddie: “Hey Atlas why are you holding up a bmf rocket over your head?”
Atlas: “Dont you see my skill? It is strike 1”
Freddie: “You mean you actually chuck it with your bare hands?”
Atlas: “Yeah?”
Freddie: “No wonder you cant even hit a fat ass pummeller”

 
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Why did the brood walker cross The Swamps of Andar? To get to his mother.

 
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Originally posted by sariel_jafar_92:

Why did the brood walker cross The Swamps of Andar? To get to his mother.

Winner.

 
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Why do russians usually play wall decks?
Because they’re stal(l)in’

 
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Originally posted by lollus:

Why do russians usually play wall decks?
Because they’re stal(l)in’

New winner.

 
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Actually i think hotshot wins.

 
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Two daemon pilots were in a destroyed bar, when one looks down at his watch and says “Look at the time, I gotta fly!” to which the other replies “WE DON’T FLY!!”

 
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One day Dalia is sunning herself on top of a bloodwall with only a devastator for protection, when she realises she is not alone. Yurich is attacking with a veritable legion of units (well 10). She surveys the battlefield and sees ten ominous flying spheres emanating a cyan light which when it strikes her makes her feel quite weak (which is ironic really). Under great torment she struggles over to the devastator and turns it on. Afterwards Dalia walks over to Yurich and says “ORBO they are expensive they really are just balls”.

 
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Originally posted by lollus:

Why do russians usually play wall decks?
Because they’re stal(l)in’

Definately the best here.

 
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Logic fail:
Raiders are weeds
Don’t believe me?
Plague Duster —> strikes all raiders 2

 
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Originally posted by BenchBreaker:

Freddie: “Hey Atlas why are you holding up a bmf rocket over your head?”
Atlas: “Dont you see my skill? It is strike 1”
Freddie: “You mean you actually chuck it with your bare hands?”
Atlas: “Yeah?”
Freddie: “No wonder you cant even hit a fat ass pummeller”

Awesome

 
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Vyander, a few Azure Reapers and Sustainers walk into a bar without a bar counter. They ask the bar keep, “Hey were’s the counter?”

He says, “there is none.”

Atlas walks into a bar grabs someones drink, shouts, “STRIKE ONE BITCHES!!” throws it at the bar keep and walks out.

 
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A guy is playing missions (like a BOSS) and realizes his energy bar is nearly depleted, so he starts thinking what can he do to recharge it, when he (suddenly) sees a energy refill button.

What was writen in the button?

10 WB for energy refill

 
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Originally posted by Boondocksaint07:

Vyander, a few Azure Reapers and Sustainers walk into a bar without a bar counter. They ask the bar keep, “Hey were’s the counter?”

He says, “there is none.”

Atlas walks into a bar grabs someones drink, shouts, “STRIKE ONE BITCHES!!” throws it at the bar keep and walks out.

O_O

 
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2 marines are attacking Malika from mission 11, so she calls out a chopper.
marine 1 yells “CHOPPER!”
and marine 2 responds “chopper? i’m trying to kill her!”

 
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Q:How many bloodthirsty you need to change a lamp?
A:Nothing, because they will kill you first.

 
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2 xeno maulers walk into a bar.
the first says “RAhahhaAHhAHAAAAAH”
to which the second one says “rahhhaahhhaAH rahhr”
to which the first responds “RAAAAAAhRAHRAR”
when all of a sudden a third xeno mauler come up and says “raaahaH hissHARAR”

=D


…..

it’d be funnier if you spoke xeno

 
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A Dozer Tank captain is on the battlefield along with his crew of 3 people : the Driver, the Mechanic and a Telecommunications Specialist.

TS : Damn, contact lost with our last remaining forces, we are completely alone now..

Driver : Holy crap, those 2 Tridents caught up to us, can’t lose them! And now, there is a Fighter Jet and a Fortifier blocking us the way out! Captain? What should we do?

(At that time, the battle-scarred captain gets up from his position on the back of the Dozer Tank with a big, burning cigar on his mouth and walks to the front where his crew currently is.)

Driver : Captain! What do we do now?!

Captain : Shut up! John! (the Mechanic) press that button!

Mechanic : What button?!

Captain : Press that damn R.A.T.T. button!!

Mechanic : Yes sir! (<- presses the R.A.T.T. button) Sir? what does this button do? It wasn’t ever on the construction mannual and I always wondered what it does.

Captain : You’ll see.. (<- wicked smile) Now, Driver! drive straight on to this Fortifier and Fighter Jet and stop the tank directly in front of them!

Driver : Ok captain… (few seconds later Dozer Tank stops directly in front of the Fortifier and the Fighter Jet).

Captain : Now watch this!

(The following dialogue is packed up for the sake of space)

Mechanic : Fortifier opened fire on us!
Captain : Regenerate.
Mechanic : ??? Fortifier flurried itself for another round of…
Captain : Regenerate!
Mechanic : Trident strikes us from the rear!
Captain : Regenerate!!
Mechanic : Fighter Jet threw it’s missil…
Captain : Regenerate!!!
Mechanic : Sir we can’t do..
Captain : Regenerate!!!!
Driver : Captain, I…
Captain : Regenerate!!!!!
Driver : But, sir…
Captain : Regenerate!!!!!!
TS : Incoming trans…
Captain : Regenerate! Regenerate! Regenerate! Regenerate! REGENERATE! oh… sorry what’s that Mike? (Telecommunications Specialist)
TS : It’s from the Imperial Commander sir.
Captain : What do they say?
TS : They say “Go %$#! yourselves you stupid $#$#!” sir!

(This is dedicated to all players that get really annoyed with a Regenerate-frenzy Dozer Tank, like myself).

(end of log)

 
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