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Post Your Best Tyrant Jokes Here page 4

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In honour of page 4, here are 4 more jokes.


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Bolster
- Bolster who?
There’s only 1 card in all of Tyrant called Bolster, so who do you f***ing think?


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Azure Reaper
- Azure Reaper who?
Ha ha, you’ve never heard of Azure Reaper, what a noob!


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Pescado Bot Faction who? Wait a sec, there’s someone at the other door.
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Pescado? Aren’t you at the other door? Hang on, there’s another caller.
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Oh, I see what’s going on here.
Knock Knock
- I quit.


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Halt Advance! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Oh, sorry dude, it didn’t work, I can still move.
Shit.

 
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Originally posted by Golden119:

In honour of page 4, here are 4 more jokes.


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Bolster
- Bolster who?
There’s only 1 card in all of Tyrant called Bolster, so who do you f***ing think?


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Azure Reaper
- Azure Reaper who?
Ha ha, you’ve never heard of Azure Reaper, what a noob!


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Pescado Bot Faction who? Wait a sec, there’s someone at the other door.
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Pescado? Aren’t you at the other door? Hang on, there’s another caller.
Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Pescado Bot Faction!
- Oh, I see what’s going on here.
Knock Knock
- I quit.


Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Halt Advance! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
- Oh, sorry dude, it didn’t work, I can still move.
Shit.

Bolster and Azure jokes are subpar and should be rated as such, 2/10.

Pescado joke on the other hand recieves a solid 7/10

Halt Advance garners points for True to life and recieves a 5/10

Overall: 4/10

 
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1:

two behemoths talk:
behemoth 1: i talked to a medic today
behemoth 2: what did he tell you
behemoth 1: he told me i was too fat and that i should loose weight as soon as possible as it is bad for my health
behemoth 2:did he suggest you anything like a diet or something?
behemoth 1:he told me i should live only on apples for the next month
behemoth 2:oh my god,but what if you fall off?!?

2:
how to sink a barracuda
knock on the door.

3:
imperial and a xeno are talking:
imperial:i pee’d on the enclave pylon
xeno: well i’ve taken a shit on the ComSat terminal in front of a whole legion II’s
imperial:nice,but i have to admit something,i took a piss carefully so no one sees me
xeno: i have to admit something too,when i took a shit at the ComSat terminal i didn’t take my pants off.

4:
3 bazooka marines stumble upon a railroad:
1st marine: look,what are these wierd stairs?
2nd marine: and look how low these handrails are positioned
3rd marine: guys,don’t worry,the elevator is coming

 
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Originally posted by windowsRExp:

1:

two behemoths talk:
behemoth 1: i talked to a medic today
behemoth 2: what did he tell you
behemoth 1: he told me i was too fat and that i should loose weight as soon as possible as it is bad for my health
behemoth 2:did he suggest you anything like a diet or something?
behemoth 1:he told me i should live only on apples for the next month
behemoth 2:oh my god,but what if you fall off?!?

2:
how to sink a barracuda
knock on the door.

3:
imperial and a xeno are talking:
imperial:i pee’d on the enclave pylon
xeno: well i’ve taken a shit on the ComSat terminal in front of a whole legion II’s
imperial:nice,but i have to admit something,i took a piss carefully so no one sees me
xeno: i have to admit something too,when i took a shit at the ComSat terminal i didn’t take my pants off.

4:
3 bazooka marines stumble upon a railroad:
1st marine: look,what are these wierd stairs?
2nd marine: and look how low these handrails are positioned
3rd marine: guys,don’t worry,the elevator is coming

not funny…

 
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Best thread that the Tyrant forums have seen in a long time :P. Keep it up!

 
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Originally posted by ElGeneral:
Originally posted by windowsRExp:

1:

two behemoths talk:
behemoth 1: i talked to a medic today
behemoth 2: what did he tell you
behemoth 1: he told me i was too fat and that i should loose weight as soon as possible as it is bad for my health
behemoth 2:did he suggest you anything like a diet or something?
behemoth 1:he told me i should live only on apples for the next month
behemoth 2:oh my god,but what if you fall off?!?

2:
how to sink a barracuda
knock on the door.

3:
imperial and a xeno are talking:
imperial:i pee’d on the enclave pylon
xeno: well i’ve taken a shit on the ComSat terminal in front of a whole legion II’s
imperial:nice,but i have to admit something,i took a piss carefully so no one sees me
xeno: i have to admit something too,when i took a shit at the ComSat terminal i didn’t take my pants off.

4:
3 bazooka marines stumble upon a railroad:
1st marine: look,what are these wierd stairs?
2nd marine: and look how low these handrails are positioned
3rd marine: guys,don’t worry,the elevator is coming

not funny…

true. Those jokes arent really tyrant jokes, they are just bad jokes you adapted a bit to make them fit.

 
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regenerate: defensive-when card health reaches zero, 50% chance of gaining back health.

 
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Tyrant is a joke itself.

 
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Oluth + female Commander + losing = Tenacle rape

 
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Originally posted by Darkninjalucian:

Oluth + female Commander + losing = Tenacle rape

perv xD
but do you really think anyone would touch aiko? ugly….

 
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Originally posted by Darkninjalucian:

Oluth + female Commander + losing = Tenacle rape

tenacle rape i like it.

 
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Originally posted by ilovedogmeat:
Originally posted by Darkninjalucian:

Oluth + female Commander + losing = Tenacle rape

tenacle rape i like it.

Maybe he ment ‘tenable’? * duck *

 
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We have the infiltrator, the devastator, disruptor, and terminator… What ever happened to the penetrator..?

 
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Originally posted by freespeedvictor1:

regenerate: defensive-when card health reaches zero, 50% chance of gaining back health.

Another one:
Siphon: Damage-Dependant – Heals the Commander as this card deals attack damage to an Assault card.

 
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Originally posted by Golden119:

Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Irradiated Infantry

Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Another Irradiated Infantry

Knock Knock
- Who’s there?
Another Irradiated Infantry

etc

That’s pretty good.

 
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dozer tank, unique raider
3/4/3 counter 2 regenerate 2
^^ is the best joke

 
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An Arc Trooper is talking to the designer of the Impusle Walker, he asks: “How come I don’t have Anti-Air 1? We both shot electrical laser!” Designer:“Because I designed it…” Arc Trooper:“.

 
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Originally posted by sariel_jafar_92:

We have the infiltrator, the devastator, disruptor, and terminator… What ever happened to the penetrator..?

Oh, it’s there…

Ironic isn’t it that the PENETRATOR has no pierce..?
There’s also the intruder and the (crazed) assailant.

 
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What do you get when you combine Magic: The Gathering and the current economic downturn?

Tyrant!

 
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“What is honor for?

Pvp Gear!"

 
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Originally posted by CasketKrusher:

Bolster and Azure jokes are subpar and should be rated as such, 2/10.

Pescado joke on the other hand recieves a solid 7/10

Halt Advance garners points for True to life and recieves a 5/10

Overall: 4/10

Not funny: -3/10

 
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Originally posted by Arsenus:
Originally posted by coliny:

What was the name of the Heal all Bloodthirsty 1 Commander? I always forget it!

i dont get it :(

The name’s dementia….look it up? ;) Though “amnesia” would be even better :D

that’s what i’d call a fail ^^

 
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Originally posted by thebadseed:

Tyrant is a joke itself.

+1

 
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Originally posted by Moonfrost:
Originally posted by freespeedvictor1:

regenerate: defensive-when card health reaches zero, 50% chance of gaining back health.

Another one:
Siphon: Damage-Dependant – Heals the Commander as this card deals attack damage to an Assault card.

I think you’ve missed the joke. It’s more or less saying “50% my ass.” Whereas Siphon is just useless for anything other than Behemoth raids, although note that those raids do give it a place to shine, as well as provide an actual use for Skullkeeper.

 
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Originally posted by Menzo:

What does Pescado ask applicants before accepting?

Password please.

haha :D