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(Tyrant) Jokes Thread :D page 2

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Originally posted by SeventhStory:

Three men are on vacation in the Pacific, on a remote island. They decide to go for a hike in the forest.

They come across a group of natives, and the native chief walks up to them and says:
“Behold travelers, unless you go out into the forest and each bring us back 10 of a unique fruit, we shall kill you, and eat you.”

All three of the men wander back into the forest in fear of their lives and start to collect fruit. The first man returns with 10 cherries.

The chief tell the man “You must take those 10 cherries and stick them up your ass without laughing or reacting, or we will kill you and eat you.” The man does as he is told and manages to cram up 7 of the cherries before he starts grimacing, so he is killed and stored for later.

The second man returns with 10 apples and is told by the chief “You must take these 10 apples and stick them up your ass without laughing or reacting, or we will kill you and eat you.” The man manages to get 9 of the 10 apples up before he starts laughing hysterically. He is killed and stored for later.

Later, the ghost of the first man and the second man are talking. The first asks the second “You were doing so well, why did you start laughing?”
The second man replies “I saw the third guy coming back with 10 pineapples.”

I heard this one but with watermelons in the end. May hurt a lil bit more.

 
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Originally posted by Macafeu:
Originally posted by SeventhStory:

Three men are on vacation in the Pacific, on a remote island. They decide to go for a hike in the forest.

They come across a group of natives, and the native chief walks up to them and says:
“Behold travelers, unless you go out into the forest and each bring us back 10 of a unique fruit, we shall kill you, and eat you.”

All three of the men wander back into the forest in fear of their lives and start to collect fruit. The first man returns with 10 cherries.

The chief tell the man “You must take those 10 cherries and stick them up your ass without laughing or reacting, or we will kill you and eat you.” The man does as he is told and manages to cram up 7 of the cherries before he starts grimacing, so he is killed and stored for later.

The second man returns with 10 apples and is told by the chief “You must take these 10 apples and stick them up your ass without laughing or reacting, or we will kill you and eat you.” The man manages to get 9 of the 10 apples up before he starts laughing hysterically. He is killed and stored for later.

Later, the ghost of the first man and the second man are talking. The first asks the second “You were doing so well, why did you start laughing?”
The second man replies “I saw the third guy coming back with 10 pineapples.”

I heard this one but with watermelons in the end. May hurt a lil bit more.

Yeah but if you figure, watermelons are nearly impossible so not good, pineapples are actually relatively physically easy to stick up there, at least in terms of space. I think that’d be more painful. and practical.

 
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Originally posted by UnLuckyU:

TYRANT V.S. DRUGS

drugs:becomes addictive
tyrant:becomes obsession

drugs: need money to get
tyrant: dont need money to play, but people will pay anyway

drugs: people will intervene cause they care about you
tyrant: your playing cause people dont care about you, with people that dont care about you

drugs: always coming out with harder stuff than what you just had
tyrant: always coming out with harder stuff than what you just had

best so far

 
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The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.
She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.”
Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”
Helen: “No, the gardener did.”
Wife: “So, how much do you want?”

 
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘’Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!‘’ The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ’’The driver just insulted me!‘’ The man says: ’’You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’’

 
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The best curve on a girl is her smile (: Lol just kidding, look at dat ass

 
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Originally posted by kolalouy:

The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.
She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.”
Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”
Helen: “No, the gardener did.”
Wife: “So, how much do you want?”

xD

 
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Two guys are playing golf.
The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.
So one man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.”
He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.
He replies, “One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don’t you go talk to them?”
So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.
When he gets back, his friend asks, “Now what happened?”
To this he replies, “Small world.”

 
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I thought this thread was supposed to be for good jokes…
And so much for the 1:1 ratio as far as Tyrant-related jokes.