[Mafia] Worst... Role... Ever. [Day 4] (locked)

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Story thing

(I swear it’s Bluji’s fault)

“What were you saying about the story again?” the Producer asked, leafing through the several pages of my movie script, “Action and Drama”, while simultaneously picking up a handful of grapes from the bowl next to him and throwing them into Trigger’s gaping maw. Trigger was the Producer’s latest pet, imported from Egypt: A saltwater crocodile about my size. It even had that “I am a hungry artist. Feed me” look on its face as it crawled about in its cage.

I gulped, my mouth turning dry as I played with the door handle, suppressing the primal urge to make a bolt for it. It wouldn’t do to lie to the Producer either, as he would find out soon anyway.

“I, erm, was saying, that…” I watched a few more grapes being thrown into Trigger’s mouth. My stomach was twisted with hunger and fear as I brushed back my hair, and tried to find the right words. “There isn’t really a story, so to say…”.

The room grew silent. The Producer’s hand was frozen over the bowl. His expression was unreadable in the darkness. Even Trigger seemed to sense the tension and crawled to a corner of his cage, whimpering. I felt like someone had clapped a hand over my mouth, and decided to take the moment to admire my shoes.

The Producer at last found his voice, with much difficulty. “No… story?” It seemed to cause him genuine pain as he tried to put the two words together. I adjusted my spectacles, and cleared my throat. Time to get my facts out.

“Well, sir, as I have already told you, I am a student, not of the Art of Film Making, but of the SCIENCE of Film Making. After conducting my research – I even have a copy of my thesis,” The producer didn’t seem to notice the heavy volume in my quivering grasp,“I have concluded that people don’t, after all, watch movies for the storyline or plot or anything, but for the action, which I have provided liberal doses of, and drama, which that movie is the epitome of-”.

“No story.” The man before me gasped, his bulging masses of fat quivering, as if uttering the same mantra with disbelief. “Only… action… and… drama?”.

My knees were in another castle as I struggled to be coherent. “Yes, sir. In one scene of the movie, the White Guy has to fight off a bunch of mutated crocodile zombies with his arms tied behind his back and while on a roller coaster. At the same time, the Red Woman will be screaming for help so as to add the element of drama, while…” my voice drifted off. It was clear that my listener wasn’t listening to me, but looking at the script in his hand with utter distaste. And loathing. And maybe, though I hoped that I imagined it, disgust.

Okay, it was mostly disgust.

WHAT,” his voice was so loud that it alarmed Trigger into a snapping rage, fractured the mirror, and made me somehow slap myself with my thesis volume. “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL THESE YEARS IN FILM MAKING SCHOOL? IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BEEN POOLING ALL THE FUNDS INTO!?” His skin was white, and his eyes were bright red. He seemed absolutely livid as he growled at me, his mouth fuming over. He sifted through the pages, his hatred quite evident as he roared. “NO STORY? Where’s the motivation for the actors to do anything? Where’s the reason for people to remember the movie once they are done watching it once, twice, thrice?”.

“Ye.” I had no idea why I had both my hands in my mouth. Or how.

“How can,” he said, putting extra stress on every syllable as he shook the papers in front of my face, “I,” some papers fell to the floor, “Sell”, Trigger made a weird noise in the corner. “This,” a few more papers dropped, and I finally managed to turn the handle just as he flung the papers into my face, and uttered such a series of expletives that I have no idea how to euphemise them to tolerable levels.

As I leaped onto my bike and kicked it to life, I heard him shout for the security guards. Uh-oh. With my helmet visor turned down against the rain, I shot into the darkness of the main street. The moment of fear being over, the fire of shame, of disgrace and rage ignited within me, too fierce to control, and on that lonely highway, I took an oath…

Holding the handlebar with one hand, I took the papers in front of me, and struck through the title, my hand shaking so badly that I nearly stabbed myself with the pen. The rainwater was making the paper all wet and squishy, but I didn’t care, as I traced across the top of the page, the title of my new script. A script that would make all Producers beg me to allow them to publish it.

Once I was done, I set my sights on the road. There was a town that I needed to head for…

The town was quite a peaceful town, with the usual unusual cast of multicultural personalities engaged in a multitude of professions. Every day, by custom, some of them would meet together in the town hall to discuss the going ons and going tos of the ordinary town life, but there wasn’t anything quite extraordinary happening there yet…

…though unbeknownst to them, something quite out of this world was occurring… several feet underneath the ground, groups of masked scientists in brightly lit laboratories were trying to recreate an event that had occurred only once before in the history of the world…

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It is a closed setup with 15 players. There are 10 town roles and 5 non-town roles, but rest assured that LyLo/MiLo will take time to reach as the number of kills in the setup are quite low. It is also a role madness with sufficient importance on the night game, but for town, the day lynch remains as important as before.

About the Roles:

Like any other Role Madness, much of WRE revolves around the different roles and their particular quirks. Many people are apt to ask me the obvious: Why call them “worst roles”? Is it possible for a role to be the worst? Is this a bastard mafia?

The roles in this game range from quite bastard to not so bastard at all. All the roles are perfectly playable. What makes them bad is not just the fact that they are sometimes restricted or have weird NAs, but the fact that they contribute to making their faction’s win condition harder to achieve (for town), or make personal survival much more challenging than usual (scum and third party roles). A few role PMs are intentionally vague, while others have NAs that are conditional, or can have numerous results depending on the target. Every role PM follows the same format, however:

[Flavor, which may be negligible in some cases]
[Win Condition]

No two roles in this mafia are alike.


No, there isn’t a random phrase thrown into this mess that you must quote in order to sign up. I still recommend looking through the rules before signing up so you know what you can expect.

1. Kongregate rules apply.

2. FGF rules apply.

3. You must vote like this: Vote [insert username here]. Bolded, and clear in any way. Same for the unvoting: Unvote [insert person I’m voting now here]. Unvoting is mandatory before casting a new vote. If you don’t want to bold your vote for whatever reason, you can also underline it by using two plus symbols. I can and will frown at you when you do so, but meh. Also, in the unlikely scenario that you say Vote: Blu and both Bluji and Blunt are playing, AKA an ambiguous vote, I reserve the right to address you either via PM, chat or in the line as we wait for our daily rations in order to clarify your vote.

4. The game is not to be discussed outside of the thread with anyone unless your role PM specifically states that you may do so, and then only with the person or people specified in your role PM. This is a rather important rule, and I want to let you guys know that I will be liberal in dispensing modkills if this rule in particular is violated.

5. Once your death scene has been posted, you’re dead. Stop typing. The only thing you can type is a “bah” post. “Bah” posts may not contain ANY information relating to this game—a violation of this will result in a ban from my next forum game. There may be roles with exceptions, but those exceptions will be rare.

6. Night actions are nearly always compulsory in this mafia, with the exception of the mafia factional NK and a handful of other roles. If you know you will not be available during the night phase, you can PM me your action during the day phase. If you aren’t using your action, you can PM me that too, but that’s not a necessity. Consider it a nicety. Also, unless your role mentions that you can talk during the night, or I make an announcement to the effect, talking at night is prohibited.

7. Plurality is not in effect, and days may only end if the majority of players are voting. That means over 50% have to be voting in order for the day to finish in time. I have a soft deadline at 96 hours and several Nag DLs after it at 12 hour intervals. If majority is reached before the soft DL, the lynch will be executed at the soft DL. After the soft DL, if someone reaches majority, the game will instantly enter twilight, and the lynch will be executed at my convenience. At every nag DL, I will send a modprod to every non-voter, and replace a non-voter if 4 modprods go unanswered.

8. If you wish to address me, the mod, directly with a question, use the following format: Mod: [whatever]. I will answer you if I deem it necessary to answer you. If I deem your questions/statements/opinions directed towards me spammy or abusive, I reserve the right to prohibit you from addressing me for the remainder of the game.

9. Editing or deleting posts is strictly forbidden. If you need to change or clarify something made in one of your previous posts, you must do so with another post—even if you have to double-post. [In Mafia game lingo, this is known as an EBWOP (Edit By Way of Post).]

10. No alts. This should be self explanatory, but a surprising number of people find it fun to break rules that aren’t in black and white. I like to think that this rule is just a formality.

11. Obvious rule is obvious: this is a game, so if you die here, you don’t die in RL. Same goes for killing.

12. If there’s a tie in the votes, there will be no lynch. If majority is not reached at hard DL, there will be no lynch.

13. Don’t be too inactive. I understand the concept of lurking, but hey, there’s a limit to lurking too. I want you to at least show you face in the thread every now and then. If I feel that you are too inactive in my game, I will send you a modprod. If two modprods go unanswered, I will be forced to replace or modkill you.

14. Day phases, as previously mentioned, last for a total of 110 hours till the hard DL. Night phases will last anywhere from 24 to 48 hours, and I may prolong the phase if I don’t receive sufficient NAs. If, for some reason, I am unable to post on an appointed time, I will alert the players in the thread.

15. Presenting any kind of copies of private mod messages (pictures, word-to-word copies) is highly prohibited. Paraphrase if required. Claiming (and its brother, Fakeclaiming) are allowed, with the exception of some particular roles. It should be mentioned in your role PM whether there is any such restriction on you.

16. You may not spam. Interpreting spam is up to mod discretion.

17. Credit to devourer for this. Wins may be awarded even to dead players if I deem their efforts worthy of one, and in order to make it fair, I will allow other players to argue for or against awarding any such wins. Remember, though, that this is in addition to having your alignment win condition fulfilled, so even if you worked hard as town, you won’t get a win if scum wins.

18. Any breaking of the rules will result in a warning or modkill, depending on the severity of the rulebreaking. Deciding how severely a rule was broken is up to my discretion.

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1) MaistlinRajere
2) SilverEvil
3) djrockstar
4) Bluji ~ Shot
5) Woon1957
6) GottaAskTheMan
7) Jaskaran2000 ~ Impeached
8) BCLEGENDS ~ Suicided
9) Taiboss ~ replaced at soft DL, D1.
9) therealsirmark4
10) T6salt
11) hamuka
12) arkenarken ~ replaced at soft DL, D2.
12) devourer359
13) racefan12 ~ Shot
14) RaceBandit
15) myhome16

Everyone’s confirmed. Nothing to see here.


1) MyNameIsNothing
2) [Empty]
3) [Empty]

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I appear to have lied to whoever read the R4L post :/

Anyway, I will keep this post as a log of how the game progresses.

All times GMT +6

November 25th, 6:?? PM

O The game thread has been created. Its an amazing feeling that I haven’t had for several months. Oh, not creating the game thread. I mean watching the signs roll in.

O Since I have 5 presigns, I only need 10 more signs before I can start the game. Most of the presigners are people from the Labyrinth. I think I should maybe have asked devourer if he wanted to reserve a spot, but eh. I am bound to do some mistakes, hosting another game after so long a time.

November 26th, 4:?? PM

O All roles handed out. I did this weird thing by shuffling and then dividing the player list into three parts and sending in the roles five at a time. The best part was how I had one part completely filled with townies, somehow. RNGs can be so quirky.

November 26th, 8:50 PM

O People be confirming. I have 50% players confirmed, so Day 1 will start automatically about 20 hours from now. I feel slightly excited, though maybe I should have given this game a nightstart to mess things up a lot more than now. Oh well. The Worst Mafia Ever will involve all the horrible mechanics, so I can find solace in that thought.

O Looked over the rules again for some reason, and realized that I missed the one about how people are supposed to mostly ignore the flavor. Note to self: Add that rule at the end of D1 and declare it so no one goes “LOL STRANGE RULE THING”.

O I went back and edited the previous entries a bit. Much better.

November 26th, 10:41 PM

O On second thought, maybe I should just start the game already, and have the confirmations continue concurrently. Like BC’d say: “m’yes.” Though on third thought, I will wait till tomorrow, just so I don’t mess anything up.

December 2nd, 4:44 PM

O Woo, nice time!

O Seems like the first day will end without reaching majority. Quite frankly, I am itching to dish out those replacements, but maybe I should wait till people show actual inactivity.

O Rule 6 amended slightly, and Rule 17 added. I feel like an idiot for missing that one, since I remember being especially cautious to remind myself nearly every day that I’d have to get it in my rules roster.

December 4th, 8:00 PM

O Dawn 2 has started. I guess the signups phase was Dawn 1 :p

O No kills. Kinda disappointing, but good for town. Something else will be good for town when Day 2 starts, because I am tired of inactive players preventing lynches from happening.

O therealsirmark confirmed, BTW, so that means I don’t have to carry out any replacements ATM. Something tells me that I might have to in the future, but let’s hope that the something is wrong.

December 5th, 10:47 PM

O Day 2 began sometimes earlier. Best… Box… Ever was opened. Funny how everyone thought that it brought about the Nag DLs.

O Rule 3 amended to make TrollFace happy. Note to self: Use Rule 18 to explain why I can talk in chat with people about the game.

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Originally posted by GottaAskTheMan:


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Originally posted by Jaskaran2000:
Originally posted by GottaAskTheMan:


Oh wait. <3

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…I’m going to kick myself later for doing this, but… sign.

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Originally posted by GottaAskTheMan:


Will this die like Cop Mafia. /streisandeffektofavatar

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Sees mafia, thinks meh, bet its not gonna be nothing special. Then I saw the host. And read the posts.


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Worst… Story… Ever.

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Yeah, I said I wasn’t doing any more of these, but… I… CAN’T… RESIST!


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This should be interesting.

Sign (If Adeeb knows me too well, my role will live up to the game’s name. Otherwise, I should be able to pull through.)

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almost didn’t make it.

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Originally posted by GottaAskTheMan:


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Will be easiest mafia ever.

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Note that I will likely be stealing your rules later on. They’re like my rules but improved.

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Reserve sign.

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I’ll reserve a spot as well.

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Originally posted by Jaskaran2000:

Best… Story… Ever.


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Incorrect, the story sucks.

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That’s it for signups. All roles have been sent. If you don’t receive a role PM, you are a Vanilla Townie.

Please confirm whether you have received your role or not in the thread. The game will begin once everyone has confirmed. or I have replaced enough people to ensure 100% confirmation status

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I wonder how whacky some of these roles are.