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_outside the bar_
**Paul:** Dude, can you stop drinking that whisky?
**Pete:** Shut up okay? It’s my whisky and i can drink wheneaver i want.
**Paul:** But who paid for it? ME! So, gimme gimme!
**Pete:** I hate you man… Hands whisky.
**Paul:** Oh, Mongs Bar. Go inside, i’ll go back home. Here. 50.00$ I don’t care what you will spend these.
**Pete:** Thanks dude! goes inside
**Paul:** I hope nobody will steal his cash, or worse, beat him.
**Pete:** Pete. Aww, my head. I should not drink that Hic whisky… sits down Do you have Hic something without a big amount of alcohol? Hic
**Paul:** looks through window Facepalm I just can’t watch at this scene. Soooo drunk… goes home
**Mong** : Well if you lookin for a drink without a big amount of alcohol, well mabey you can have some of this here, new from Poland…. well I don’t know what this is, I don’t speak polish… much ( **Rumages threw the wine cabnite** ) Ahhh Here it is, You want the entire bottle?
**Flup** : EHHH THATS…. Wait a minute is that um you there bonco..?
**Mong** : Oh Ignore him thats our town crazy he likes hidin in the back, i’m sure he’ll be a bother so, give ’em a little thump in the head if he be to much trouble, so how much you want for this ’er wine?
**Pete:** No, just one glass, and umm… It’s yours, you decide the price. Hic
Somebody’s singing outside
**Pete:** Don’t worry, it’s just Christopher, John and Hic Kozak. Kozak is polish, rest of the harem is english. They won’t do anything bad, maybe eventually a brawl about some cheap vine. Hic
_In the bar._
**Pete:** _Drinks_ Have 3 $ anyway. Hic I guess i’ll have to call for Paul…
**Paul:** Paul splitfire , hello?
**Pete:** Hic Can you drive and take me back home, please?
**Paul:** You know, i hate when you’re drunk, but i’ll do an exception.
**Pete:** Thanks dude! _Closes phone_
**Christopher:** Yo. What’s up? hic
**Pete:** Chris, get the hell outta here, k? Hic You pissed me off by peeing on my dog. Hic Now, do one more step and i’ll throw you through the door. Hic
**Kozak:** Pete! Where have you been? Wait, did you drank Hetman?
**Pete:** So what?
**Kozak:** What did i told you ‘bout this wine?
**Pete:** Okay, okay. I’ll just leave. Chris, don’t touch my dog again.
**Kozak:** The same wine he drank, please. Shot glass.
**Kozak:** You shut up, you had whole bottle of this stuff. Give him shot glass of whisky.
**King Henry IX:** Silence peasant
**Queen Victoria II:** 28 beers over here.
**Lord incontinent of Shipton Bellinger** : I want a gallon of your finest ant urine laced with dinosaur blood all in a shot glass with a cocktail umbrella in it.
i stand up with blood shooting out my leg
he holds a glass at his leg
“laser powers ACTVATE”
i shoot christopher in the head blasting him thorugh a wall
“now to get a drink”
“i want that wall in a pint glass”
**Lord incontinent of Shipton Bellinger:** “What did I DO!!!!!!!”
A massive SWAT raid on the bar happens. A tank blows up a wall and troops charge in.
**Lord incontinent of Shipton Bellinger:** I go over to Christopher and tea bag him but since I’m incontinent I end up taking a pissing on him.
**Jack the ripper:** I run up to the bar and slit mong’s throat and stab Flup. I steal all alcohol and load it into a tank.
The SWAT charge in thru the missing wall.
**Lord incontinent of Shipton Bellinger:** we’re done for… Larger please.
i pur some WKD blue in a big blender
then i grab osama bin laden and put his face in the blender
“become alcohol” i yell as i press the button
and i begin blending osam to death
then i take a sip and wait for the bar to collapse