Homeschool and Social Development

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Link broke

What’s your opinion?

I was homeschooled until this year (9th grade) and I honestly never want to go back to homeschool. The work was easy, finished a day’s work in an hour. Passed the CAT with flying colors. But I was extremely lonely the whole experience. Despite being on Kong through the last few years.

When I came to public school I was extremely uneasy. The teachers that tried to help with my social developmental problems only made it worse. For example, in english we had to tell seven random (we chose) people three things about ourself. I was scared out of my wits when this occured.

Other students in the school definitely saw me as extremely awkward until recently. I was actually public schooled in 5th grade (four years ago) so I had a few nice people from that class talk to me. So I wasn’t completely alone. Now that it’s the third quarter I’ve completely adjusted.

But one of my friends, who was homeschooled his WHOLE life, is still completely awkward. More awkward than I ever was. He’s afraid to talk to anyone that isn’t me. It’s kind of creepy actually. I have few problems starting up a conversation with someone I don’t know. But he can’t even talk to my friends at all.

I’m just wondering what SD’s opinion on Homeschooling and how it stunts social development is.

 
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YUP….ya’re right….it can SEVERELY stunt social developments.
BUT, that is one of the reasons for home schooling.
To avoid the “trash” that goes to public schools.
Some parents also believe they can do a much better job of education at home.

Tell me, is your family highly religious….many home schooled are of that rational?

There certainly are some great “advantages” to home schooling.
BUT, the trade-off in possible (probable?) some degree of personal//social development is hardly worth it….in my thinking. If parents want to be sure their child is doing well in education….THEN GET INVOLVEDSUPPLIMENT. It’s just that easy.

 
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Used to work with a homeschooled kid. He remains the most socially awkward person I have ever met.

 
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it seems clear from your post what major benifits home-schooling has had for you. seems like you were extremely easily keeping up, so, yeah…

and the disadvantages, they shouldn’t be unavoidable. there’s plenty of ways to keep up on social development through other means than school: scouting club, tennis club or any other sport, chess club, book-clubs…

i wasn’t homeschooled and i was awkward as a fish in the sand.

 
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OmegaDoom, I believe that a person needs to be in a social enviroment regularly to develop social skills. If you don’t talk to people that are your age, how would you develop social skills?

 
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Tell me, is your family highly religious

Nope. Honestly I’m more religious than them.

 
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Originally posted by RiGhTeOuSzAm:

Tell me, is your family highly religious

Nope. Honestly I’m more religious than them.

Interesting. If ya care to do so, please share the reason they opted to home school ya.

From what I see happening in public education, upon entering a K-12 education….the most valuable learning prep a parent can do for their child is to instill some very good SOCIAL SKILLS,,,of all nature. THEN, following closely on that, parents need to develop some of the “Basic 3-R’s”….a good “head start” is a damn fine idea.

AND, Omega hits the nail when he says that home schooling doesn’t need to preclude other forms of socializing. With a modicum of effort, a kid should be able to develop//nurture a basic “inner circle” of relationships that is a: “quality vs. quantity” thing. Finding a shared interest is a damn good basis for development of a relationship.

 
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Interesting. If ya care to do so, please share the reason they opted to home school ya.

I asked in 2nd grade. Because of a bitch teacher’s aid.

 
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Homeschooling is becoming more popular and more established, and many people are aware of the potential problem of socialization. There are a lot of groups focused on allowing homeschoolers to do things together, even besides the other forms of activities Omega mentioned.

 
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Home schooling is fine, provided your educators do a reasonable job (which I would define as at least as well as your local school would do).

No it doesn’t have to lead to social isolation – as mentioned previously there are groups out there just for home schooled kids to work together as well as social activities that exist outside the school environment such as sports, scouts, youth groups, etc.

 
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No it doesn’t have to lead to social isolation – as mentioned previously there are groups out there just for home schooled kids to work together as well as social activities that exist outside the school environment such as sports, scouts, youth groups, etc.

I’ll agree and disagree with you there.

Yes you can send them off to all these things but a child won’t be fully socially adept unless they are taught their peers. What happens when they have to co-operate with others in the workplace??

 
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Interesting (and original) topic, RiGhTeOuSzAm. I was homeschooled for all of one year (I think I even took a class at a high school during this time), and my extended family attached a huge stigma to it. In all fairness, I think they were exaggerating, not to mention doing a poor job at minding their own business, but at the time they thought it was a huge deal if someone wasn’t in a proper “traditional” school.

I can see what you mean about the “socially awkward” concern, although I think it depends more on the individual. I’ve seen people in public school their whole life who are awkward, and some who were homeschooled that did just fine. I keep my daughter in traditional school because I think the social interaction is important, but I think there are also legitimate reasons for homeschooling. For instance, if we had to choose between a ghetto neighborhood/dangerous area school and homeschool, I would probably opt for homeschool. If I did this, however, I would make sure we joined a lot of extracurricular things (such as camp, soccer, church, whatever) to make sure we still got out there and mixed with people. The year I was homeschooled, dad was a politician and mom a travel agent, so we just traveled a lot.

Really interesting tidbit—when I talked to armed forces recruiters, the Marine Corp was unhappy with the fact that I’d homeschooled one year, even though I had a high school diploma. When I told them I had gone to community college after that, they relaxed a bit and said it was fine. The other branches didn’t care as much, as long as you had the high school diploma, but for some reason the USMC was really hung up on the social interaction thing.

Originally posted by karmakoolkid:

YUP….ya’re right….it can SEVERELY stunt social developments.
BUT, that is one of the reasons for home schooling.
To avoid the “trash” that goes to public schools.
Some parents also believe they can do a much better job of education at home.

Yeah…I also had relatives that were very strict Mormons and homeschooled their kids. I can’t really denigrate the choice, because the kids turned out fine, with families/degrees/jobs/etc. But it is a personal choice, and I think before homeschool is undertaken, the parent should make sure they are up to the task of both doing a teacher’s job, and making sure the kid has enough social interaction on the side.

 
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Originally posted by L_Deathnote:

I’ll agree and disagree with you there.

Yes you can send them off to all these things but a child won’t be fully socially adept unless they are taught their peers. What happens when they have to co-operate with others in the workplace??

Um isn’t the sort of co-operation required in the workplace exactly the sort of thing learnt in the examples given in my, and others’, posts?

Kids, whether ‘traditionally educated’ or home schooled, learn to cooperate in team sports, at ‘summer camp’, in organisations such as the scouts, at the local am-dram, etc, etc. Let alone the special ‘home schoolers groups’ that exist for educational projects.

 
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Originally posted by donseptico:

Home schooling is fine, provided your educators do a reasonable job (which I would define as at least as well as your local school would do).

No it doesn’t have to lead to social isolation – as mentioned previously there are groups out there just for home schooled kids to work together as well as social activities that exist outside the school environment such as sports, scouts, youth groups, etc.

Yes but one of the motivators that drives a majority of the people who home school their children is keeping them away from unwanted socialization.
Those with such a motivation will generally only allow social group activities with the right crowed(what ever the parent thinks that is). The likelihood of such children becoming unable to understand and connect with people outside the chosen crowed will be impaired. This might not be all that bad for the person the child grows up to be(more than superficial interaction outside of the chosen crowed might not be necessary to live a amenable life) but it generally is for society at large.

 
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Originally posted by JohnnyBeGood:

Yes but one of the motivators that drives a majority of the people who home school their children is keeping them away from unwanted socialization.

This is a really good point. Just a question for you—and anyone else—do you think it’s better to keep a kid away from unwanted socialization, or give them any and all socialization, regardless of it’s character?

An example would be the mother who is raising children in a dangerous neighborhood (shootings, gangs, what have you). Here would be a basic breakdown of the pros/cons:

Homeschooling:
Pros—safer environment for child
Cons—child misses out of socialization and not in tune with external environment

Public School:
Pros—child socializes with peers, might grow up tougher/more street smart
Cons—Child could be in danger, subject to bad peer influences

I think in this scenario, I would lean towards the homeschooling (for myself), just because I think there are certain experiences that hold no positive impact to have. For instance, maybe a kid placed into that public school environment would survive, but the chances of them getting into gangs/drugs would be augmented, while the chances of them striving for academic excellence later in life would be diminished. Just my opinion, anyway.

Would be interested to hear what everyone else thinks about the scenario.

 
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Originally posted by Twilight_Ninja:

Would be interested to hear what everyone else thinks about the scenario.

I think you have not thought enough about your example. Why is the mother living in such a bad Neighborhood with her children? Most answers i can think of make it unlikely that the Mother(and Partner if there is one) could hope to provide adequate home tutoring. Only thing i could think of was the mother having some kind of disability keeping her home or a job that can be done while taking care of the children(both being rather rare cases).

But even then, having the child go to a public school still gives a bit more pros and the cons are generally not as dramatic.
1. One important pro is the mother(i am guessing she is doing the tutoring) having more time for other things(like getting a job to move into a better neighborhood).
2. Another pro is that the energy otherwise invested in home tutoring can still be invested in the child, (tutoring the child after school and during breaks or being active in parent teacher organizations, lots of other possibilities).
3. Case where a child is in significant danger for going to a School are very very very rare and then there are usually other schools available for the child to go to.
4. The peer influence is limited to interactions during school, unless the children are allowed to socialize freely outside after school. If the children are aloud outside the home schooled children in such a Neighborhood will probably look like moving targets or have the same bad influence bestowed upon them.

 
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The likelihood of such children becoming unable to understand and connect with people outside the chosen crowed will be impaired.

That’s exactly what happens in public schools, only the pool is even more narrow due to everybody being within a year of each other.

 
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My neighbors are home schooled and,quite frankly,I think that its the most socially depriving thing on gods earth.Parents who home school are overprotective,and I just don’t get it.Why would a parent do that?All it causes as an awkward adult[if homeschooled entire life],and a lifeless child —hood.My best friend in the whole world was homeschooled last semester [for a punishment] and she came back a completely different person.I hate homeschools.

 
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My neighbors are home schooled and,quite frankly,I think that its the most socially depriving thing on gods earth.

Based on one point of data?

Parents who home school are overprotective,

Based on one point of data?

All it causes as an awkward adult[if homeschooled entire life],and a lifeless child —hood.

Based on one point of data?

I hate homeschools.

Based on one point of data?

 
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Originally posted by LukeMann:

You’d be surprised how many people feel that way based on that evidence toward homeschooling if you look hard enough, or mention it enough times and places.

 
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Originally posted by AaronB:

Homeschooling is becoming more popular and more established, and many people are aware of the potential problem of socialization. There are a lot of groups focused on allowing homeschoolers to do things together, even besides the other forms of activities Omega mentioned.

Got some cousins who are homeschooled, and they do a lot of social things. They’re actually get more specialized, technical education in a more regular school environment at some local churches now. And they take field trips with other homeschoolers in the area. They also get recess still (so lucky- it’s technically Physical Ed, but they can fight with lightsabers or something crazy and it counts). They’re more socially stunted by growing up in an actual, strict Catholic family than by homeschool. The options to socialize are certainly opening up: I know that can still be a concern, but with a strong community of homeschoolers (there is actually an organization in Texas that organizes these sorts of things) it can largely mitigate some of the disadvantages to homeschooling.

Of course, some of this is based upon the individual- some people are just extremely introverted, and just won’t get along well with other people- which is a reason why a parent might want to homeschool a child in the first place, leading to a bit of bias there.

 
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I went to this online school site and found at the “cost of educating our children” section a strange reasoning from the executive director:
He’s implying, since their tuition fees actually is lower than the cost of education at public school per student. It’s less costly to use their system than enrolling into public school. How’s this true? Aren’t the tax money already spent? Or was he implying for the people and the government to reduce education spendings on public schools?
Ah, I get it maybe he was trying to suggest that instead spending on public schools, the government should spend the education money to online schools.

Is this a better option according to you guys?

 
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oh, come on. “the money is already spent”. seriously, you fail math forever.

if there are 120 students you need 4 teachers for 30 kids per class. if there are 150 students you need 5.

 
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Originally posted by OmegaDoom:

oh, come on. “the money is already spent”. seriously, you fail math forever.

if there are 120 students you need 4 teachers for 30 kids per class. if there are 150 students you need 5.

What? why am I fail at math forever? But thank you I get it now

Even so, saying it that way is still misleading, how about those who had minimum income? Public education would actually be more “free” for them.

Edit: “misleading” is wrong, he’s not being misleading but he’s being off topic