Girlfriend Mode: The Controversy, and the Concept

Recently a developer at Gearbox studios, creators of Borderlands and the upcoming Borderlands 2, described a skill tree for one of the characters as “Girlfriend mode,” in that it provides a more passively competent class for less inclined gamers.

[I got the story from here.]

What I’m interested in talking about here is both the controversy of the developer’s unfortunate terminology, and the actual gameplay concept of providing a casual mode that is persistent with the normal game.

As someone with a non-gamer girlfriend, I value the addition of these modes. It means I get to play the game longer than I would have if she weren’t engaged in the game, and it also lets us both actively participate in entertainment instead of her watching me play a game. I think that, the more demanding a game is, the more value a casual mode will provide for those of us who like challenging games but don’t want the anti-social stigma that comes with games like Demon Souls, or even World of Warcraft.

What do you guys think?

The controversy was incredibly stupid and overblown.

Dumbing down a game to appeal to a wider audience is terrible especially when it leads to a game that feels like it’s missing out on it’s full potential.

If they aren’t interested in video games in the first place, having an easy mode catered to them isn’t going to help.

It seems like the biggest aversion to this is “hardcore gamers” thinking it’s an easy-creep. This mode isn’t intended for us. My girlfriend simply wouldn’t play if it was too difficult. Her goal is different than my goal for playing. She sees me playing Battletoads as self-torture. She gets stressed out when I’m doing poorly, and the game ends up getting shut off sooner than if she’d been engaged with the media I’m consuming. Right now, I have to wait until she’s not here to play Demon Souls, simply because it’s so damn anti-social. This isn’t a comment on my girlfriend either, because she is quite tolerant of my desire for alone time to play videogames, it’s just that I wish she could be more involved instead of bored. If I was dating someone who didn’t even value my personal enjoyment of games, modes like this would be NECESSARY to validate the fun we have with challenging games.

It sounds insulting. It is saying that girls cannot even handle a basic game without it being dumbed down.

Yes, that’s the problem with the individual who called it “girlfriend mode,” but is the existence of an easier/asynchronous metagame seriously insulting to those who are put off by the competitive nature of games? My girlfriend (who could easily be a roommate that doesn’t like playing, or a drunk friend as mentioned in the video I linked) isn’t insulted by being able to play with me in a game she otherwise wouldn’t play. On the contrary, she’s insulted by the challenge and lack of rewarding gameplay that comes with twitch shooters.

This fascinates me the way it’s being received by gamers and non-gamers alike. Either it’s offensive, or it’s pandering, yet for me it’s just functional. Why don’t we position this differently, and call it “parent” mode. How many kids’ valuation of a game being inconsistent with their parent’s idea of how their child’s time is spent has to do with the game being entirely foreign to non-technically inclined parents? I would probably start crying if I could play a game that engages my mother and father to where they’d play Diablo with me, considering how special that experience is to me already. I think of these modes as letting people in on our hobbies instead of talking down to them, which is what I think many “easy” modes do.

is the existence of an easier/asynchronous metagame seriously insulting to those who are put off by the competitive nature of games?

If it’s generalising then yeah, it is. If someone doesn’t like a competitive part of a game then don’t play it. Not really a need to make it easier and label it as a girl mode, that’s why we have things like easy mode instead of normal or hard.

But if I load up easy mode, I end up not having fun either. Instead of choosing between who gets to enjoy the game, an asynchronous mode allows me to play a complicating game with someone who has no interest in learning the intricacies but also wants to participate in my hobby. On the flip side of parents, when I one day have children, I’d love to be able to play some of the harder games with them without having to baby them through the game. By actually being part of my hardcore experience, I am turning a once socially secluded pass-time into an accessible, social experience that me and my girlfriend can share without lowering the quality of either of our experiences.

Just to clarify, the skill tree for the class in question is NOT called “Girlfriend mode,” and was simply tactlessly referred to as such by a developer on the game. The existence of these modes shouldn’t be confused with the sexism of this poorly phrased individual, who may not even be sexist himself and may have simply been personally reflecting his own experiences with his girlfriend in relation to playing hardcore games.

If we simplify this situation, it’s essentially just talking about including an easy mode in your game?

No, actually. Asynchronous gameplay is the concept here, and it’s directly opposite of easy mode. This is an easy version of the same experience. If I had to play the same game my girlfriend plays, I wouldn’t enjoy it. If she has to play the same game I’m playing, she won’t enjoy it. If we can both play different games at the same time and both benefit from our individual success, we’re both going to enjoy it and we’re both going to want to keep playing. Easy mode is for people who want to be challenged by the game but aren’t as good at it as others, asynchronous gameplay is for people who don’t want to be challenged, but want to participate in the game with all of the players.

In grade school, without any provocation by the school administrators or playground monitors, my fellow students included me in kickball/soccer despite my disabilities by allowing me to play a 3rd goal using a hockey stick that, when scored upon, made the next successful goal on the other team worth 3 points instead of 1, with unsuccessful shots resetting the bonus. It was really hard to get the ball past me since I was using a giant stick to block, but it didn’t give any team more or less advantage. If someone tried or was successful at scoring a goal on me, the game got really intense because it could spell success for that team, so my goal was both defended and attacked vigorously. I was able to participate, have a really good time, and not feel excluded or coddled because of my different abilities.

(I actually forgot about this. Gradeschool kickball in general was a fascinating demonstration of effective hive minds. Before I joined in, I had always wondered how people could tell who’s on what team, due to lack of team colors and the variation in who would play regularly, but as soon as you play yourself you automatically have a sense of the score, the teams, and the strategies of your teammates. It was a pretty serious thing at our school, and pretty much everyone ended up participating at one point or another. The whole playground would stop until a fly-ball was retrieved from outside the fences. Games would span multiple days and pick up where they left off the day before without anyone officially mentioning the previous score. My inclusion was not decided upon by any individual, it was simply known that I had tried playing several times and couldn’t really fully participate, and suddenly a role for me was invented.)

Originally posted by Ayumi_Stocking:

It sounds insulting. It is saying that girls cannot even handle a basic game without it being dumbed down.

it says “girlfriend mode”, not “girl mode”.

i don’t see the problem with it, and it’s a good way to include a casual mode in a multiplayer game without pretending like casual gamers are included in the game’s target audience.

it says “girlfriend mode”, not “girl mode”

I didn’t know that there is a difference between a girl and a girlfriend. Obviously not being in a relationship is a HUGE difference in gaming modes…
Great to see your post implies that girls in relationships aren’t counted as girls as well.

lol. i don’t know who’s comment is funnyer….ok, Ayumi wins.

if it said “human mode”, would it also have been sexist? because, you know, girls are counted as humans as well.

if it said “human mode”, would it also have been sexist?

No because that’s not stating one gender as not being as good as the other.
pls be serious mkay

girls are counted as humans as well

thanks for the info
I’ll be sure to use it

i am serious. most gamers are dudes, so …well, most of them are single, but those that aren’t usually have girlfriends, not boyfriends. and even if they have a boyfriend, the chance is quite likely he’ll have no need of a casual mode.

so i still don’t see the problem. most gamer’s girlfriends are not hc gamers. what’s the problem?

Ayumi, you didn’t address the part where that isn’t what the mode is called, and it doesn’t mean that even the individual who used the phrase was necessarily trying to pigeonhole or imply women’s ability to play videogames so much as he was projecting his personal experiences. The implication that this is demeaning really depends upon the opinion of the individual and not the express mention of women.

What I mean is, the guy who said it was “girlfriend mode” might not have been implying “a stupid easy mode so EVEN your girlfriend could play!” but instead “A mode where people you, the mostly male constituency, care about like your girlfriend who doesn’t give a shit about your beloved videogames will actually tolerate you for 10 minutes.” The latter sounds more like a sexist comment against men, not women. While his specification of GIRLfriends was unfortunate, I don’t think it was necessarily a slight or even sexist comment so much as an example used as the definition since it’s generally applicable to most people. Doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t mean we should all feign outrage.

what’s the problem?

The problem is:

It is saying that girls cannot even handle a basic game without it being dumbed down.

There you go.

the guy who said it was “girlfriend mode” might not have been implying “a stupid easy mode so EVEN your girlfriend could play!” but instead “A mode where people you care about like your girlfriend who don’t give a shit about your beloved videogames will actually tolerate you for 10 minutes.”

It can go either way. I’m not exactly going to throw away one for the other, instead I would rather pick the one that first appeared to be seen in my mind.

I don’t think it was necessarily a slight or even sexist comment

Opinions~

I would just like you all to know that I, Scoopolard, personally, do not give a shit.

You just proved the opposite.

Easy mode is for people who want to be challenged by the game but aren’t as good at it as others, asynchronous gameplay is for people who don’t want to be challenged, but want to participate in the game with all of the players.

I guess I somewhat get it. Somewhat like giving different tasks and provide some kind of “invulnerability”. I guess if you don’t call it girlfriend mode it would be fine.

I remember playing Jazz Jackrabbit 2 with my sister and she merely played for the experience while I was the one taking care of all the enemies. Would be a mode for her. My wife does play games (though infrequently), so wouldn’t be a mode for her. I’m sure there are enough guys out there wanting to try this mode due to not being real gamers.

^no, it says girlfriends, not girls. most gamers’ girlfriends AREN’T able to handle a hc game comfortably without it being dumbed down.

so, what’s the problem with this?

@Darkruler:
my causin’s American wife is definitely not a gamer, although strictly addicted to farmville, but she could play some stupid beat ‘em up because they added a button mash robot fairy chick. this is just the same as the girlfriend mode, i assume (well it is a girlfriend mode, anyway). it just gives easy to use specifics to the character that don’t take much effort.

it says girlfriends, not girls

So girlfriends aren’t girls?
Cool story bro.

most gamers’ girlfriends AREN’T able to handle a hc game comfortably without it being dumbed down

Proof?

By the way, I’m not sure I would say most girlfriends/non-serious gamers CANNOT learn to play the game, and this makes them lesser in some way, but that they’re arguably intelligent enough to not WANT to learn to play the game. I think my girlfriend is more than intelligent enough to learn to control the game just as well as I can: It’s that she has no personal incentive to do so. She does not get a rewarding feeling out of defeating a challenging puzzle through mastery of a system that is only applicable in this limited experience, and I think it’s pretty ridiculous to expect her to, or to criticize that choice as some lack of ability rather than willpower/desire.

I am personally not a competitive person, while my girlfriend is. While she doesn’t like many videogames because of their limited usefulness, she does like anything where there’s competition between people. She constantly gets frustrated at my lack of competitive spirit and willingness to play the game for fun instead of winning. Am I bad at competing, or do I just have different goals when engaging in play than she does? I am not a fan of racing, but I feel left out when everyone else wants to race. I don’t want to win, I just want to play along. “Casual” gamers aren’t stupid gamers, is what I’m saying, and why I don’t read “girlfriend mode” as “idiot mode for girls.”

According to the ESA, 42% of gamers are female, so tha “male majority” is not really that large, and it has been shrinking for years.

The problem with the term “girlfriend mode” is that it pigeonholes 1. gamers as by default male (or homosexual, but I kinda doubt that was on the guy’s mind at the time) and 2. girls as by default uninterested in games, which perpetuates two old, dumb stereotypes that heven’t been true for decades in one swoop.

The problem is not made any better by the fact that it really doesn’t take much to avoid it. There’s a mountain of terms to choose from that are non-gendered. How about “casual mode”? Hell, go “friend mode”. The viedo game industry by and large has a huge sexism problem. This is not the worst of it by far, but it’s no wonder that it’s a touchy subject, so the guy should just have fired up one more neutron and went for a neutral term.

The concept itself, I actually like a lot. I imagine it’s hard to balance it so that the casual skillteŕee doesn’t make players who actually play a lot overpowered when they use it, but it could work.

I can’t disagree with anything you’ve said, norumaru. (Holy shit I missed you! Post more, pretty please?) I guess my whole point was that, while his use of the term was a severe gender fail, as you said, I guess the term was far more affectionate for me and my girlfriend when we heard about the controversy, and we’re both big gender equality advocates.

When they said “girlfriend”, I think they specifically meant the demographic of casual gaming girlfriends dating serious gaming boyfriends, and meant that the game mode would be a good way to involve more casual gamers, as BSG said previously.

But yes, the terminology is using stereotypes in an offensive and insensitive way. In regards to the game mode itself, it seems reasonable. It still lets serious gamers play the game the way they want to, while allowing for more casual gamers to enjoy the game in their own way too.

ok, apparently it needs to be pointed out that it was used in either Borderlands or Borderlands 2. i don’t know these games very well, but they seem like pretty hc shooters with RPG elements.

i don’t doubt that 42% of gamers are female (so THAT’S the question of life, the universe and everything?), but i’m pretty sure it’s a lot less than that for Borderlands. in fact i bet most of those female gamers play Farmville.

if you think that’s offensive you really gotta ask yourself why reality is offensive to you. but more importantly, as BSG just said a few posts up, it’s a lot more to do with interests than skills.