Women are so confusing.

62 posts

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So, I was thinking of posting this in OT but I wanted to know what you guys think.

I’ve been pretty confused lately, and there’s this girl that I love. I have a major problem though: I am the shyest person you could ever meet. I seem to be able to tell her almost anything and I haven’t known her all that long. I have probably talked to her more than anyone else. Ever. There’s just something about her that makes me not stop thinking about her. We started hanging out on Saturdays now and this past Saturday we talked a lot about love and looking into each others eyes. She asked me to tell her any secret, I thought of one, my love for her, but being the shy guy I am, skipped that one. She knew right away. She told me that I thought of one but was searching for another. She was so right. Later that night, after we ate, she told me we would go out to dinner next Saturday, like a date, and to dress fancy. The next day her Facebook said she was in a relationship. It didn’t say who. I also got a notification saying she wanted to update my city to x, x. Due to her religion, she can’t use any electronics today and tomorrow.

The reason I mention that last bit is because I sent her a really long, detailed text, at the end, saying those 3 words. She won’t be able to see it until tomorrow night.

So, what do you guys think about the whole Facebook mysterious relation thing? Do you think she was just waiting for me to tell her, or there is someone else?

(Side note: our difference in race and religion is pretty unique I would think, but that’s another story for another time.)

 
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When are you seeing her next? Just ask her straight up what the relationship update was about. If she is in a new relationship, then mutually friendzone each other.

Personally I don’t have female friends (regrettably I chose to go to an all boys’ high school). I’m going to sound like your average alpha male troll on 4chan here, but when a woman I am interested in has a boyfriend or is not interested in me I ignore her and move on (unless I actually do want her as something between a friend and an acquaintance). If she is interested, I make a move and boom.

I believe on your behalf it may have been a bit too early to have said “I love you”. If you’re not officially in a relationship, I would not recommend using such serious and amorous phrases.

 
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Well it’s too late to unsay what I said, not that I would anyways. I just felt like I had to say it then or I never would. I almost have a strange feeling that she did that Fb update thing just to try hint at something.

I mean, a girl doesn’t ask someone on what is basically a date for the following week and then put up that she is in a relationship, would she? Unless the relationship in question is me, but I’m clueless.

 
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What religion is it that bans her from using electronics on two certain days? (Is it Monday and Sunday? [I’m Australian so I’m a day ahead of many])

In the end all of us men are clueless, if we knew how to get girls we probably wouldn’t be sitting here so much. I’m in no position to comment but all I can say is its better to have tried and known then never known.

 
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Originally posted by basicbasic:

In the end all of us men are clueless, if we knew how to get girls we probably wouldn’t be sitting here so much. I’m in no position to comment but all I can say is its better to have tried and known then never known.

LOL. There is a lot of “wisdom” in those words.
I might tweak some of them to say: It is far better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all.

Uzzbuzz, what ya’re experience is called LIFE. Most of us have (and propably still do) experienced the angst ya now feel. I suggest ya “think on it” and realize that anything in the way of a result is then a product of doing the best ya could in an effort to “fullfill YOUR destiny”. Our “failures” are a very important part of our lives.

 
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Thanks everyone, I guess all I can do until tonight is wait.

Oh, and she’s Jewish by the way.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

Thanks everyone, I guess all I can do until tonight is wait.

Oh, and she’s Jewish by the way.

Waiting can be pure hell.
Find something that ya really luv to do in the meanwhile.
Developing “patience” is damn hard to do…..but, well worth the effort.
Best of luck to ya and hopes are that it works out well….regardless of which way it goes.

 
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how cute.

be careful though, she seems smart and you seem unexperienced. “she told me we would go out to dinner next Saturday” reads like a command, too.

adn how well do you know her? doesn’t seem like too well if you contemplate the possibility of her having a boyfriend that’s not you. but then, a girl putting her status on FB to “in a relationship” doesn’t mean much. FB status settings don’t reflect reality very well, because reality is not such a dichotomy. if it said “single” you would have probably been equally suspicious.

but you clearly got something brewing here, just enjoy and savour whatever happens, without putting all your chips on one potential future outcome. enjoy the ride, not the prospect of an imagined destination.

 
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adn how well do you know her? doesn’t seem like too well if you contemplate the possibility of her having a boyfriend that’s not you

All due respect to the OP but this is a good point. I am a little old fashioned when it comes to relationships so I personally wouldn’t worry to much about a facebook status, as I tend to leave mine as single even when dating someone simply because I forget it exists.

be careful though, she seems smart and you seem unexperienced. “she told me we would go out to dinner next Saturday” reads like a command, too.

I wouldn’t say this is a bad thing to be honest. She gave the OP a chance to take the wheel, he didn’t, so she did. Nothing wrong with a girl taking charge of the situation as long as it stays mutually beneficial. Hopefully she is a nice girl and wouldn’t, but you have shown your hand by telling her you love her, so she does now know she has a power over you, but there is a very big difference between a girl taking charge in a relationship, and a girl using a guy

but you clearly got something brewing here, just enjoy and savour whatever happens, without putting all your chips on one potential future outcome. enjoy the ride, not the prospect of an imagined destination.

Defiantly the best advice, specially with first few relationships as emotions tend to get carried away and you feel it’s special and the person you want to spend your life with, and some people do find the right person first, but most don’t. Whatever happens though you should enjoy it and however it goes you should look for the positives as life is all about trying something and learning from what you experienced

 
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I know the Fb thing isn’t too important, but I just can’t help but notice it. Only about Seven more hours until I find out the response :)

 
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My guess is that she thought you were gay; and you were ordered to go out as part of your gay-best-friend duties.

*nod nod*

 
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Remember to wear a suit, preferably black. The tie can be of your choice. If you know what colour dress or whatever she’s going to wear, wear the same colour, if not, go for a pink/red tie.

 
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I asked that already. She just said nice clothes because if I wear a suit then she would have to wear a dress, her words. We shall see soon enough.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

So, I was thinking of posting this in OT but I wanted to know what you guys think.

I’ve been pretty confused lately, and there’s this girl that I love. I have a major problem though: I am the shyest person you could ever meet. I seem to be able to tell her almost anything and I haven’t known her all that long. I have probably talked to her more than anyone else. Ever. There’s just something about her that makes me not stop thinking about her. We started hanging out on Saturdays now and this past Saturday we talked a lot about love and looking into each others eyes. She asked me to tell her any secret, I thought of one, my love for her, but being the shy guy I am, skipped that one. She knew right away. She told me that I thought of one but was searching for another. She was so right. Later that night, after we ate, she told me we would go out to dinner next Saturday, like a date, and to dress fancy. The next day her Facebook said she was in a relationship. It didn’t say who. I also got a notification saying she wanted to update my city to x, x. Due to her religion, she can’t use any electronics today and tomorrow.

The reason I mention that last bit is because I sent her a really long, detailed text, at the end, saying those 3 words. She won’t be able to see it until tomorrow night.

So, what do you guys think about the whole Facebook mysterious relation thing? Do you think she was just waiting for me to tell her, or there is someone else?

(Side note: our difference in race and religion is pretty unique I would think, but that’s another story for another time.)

Sounds like you have a girlfriend. Good luck my boy.

 
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Originally posted by JaumeBG:

Remember to wear a suit, preferably black. The tie can be of your choice. If you know what colour dress or whatever she’s going to wear, wear the same colour, if not, go for a pink/red tie.

wow, worst advice of the thread.

 
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Follow your heart young one! ♫ ♪ ♫

Or follow your head.

 
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Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be ;(

My feelings will never change but I will have to move past this to keep one of the best friends I ever had.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be ;(

My feelings will never change but I will have to move past this to keep one of the best friends I ever had.

So she said no?

Sorry bud.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

Well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be ;(

My feelings will never change but I will have to move past this to keep one of the best friends I ever had.

Well, I believe the best course now is to stalk her.

 
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No, apparently she has a boyfriend back home that she thinks she loves. .. I hate it when the one person I can actually talk to has a boyfriend. I will most likely never meet someone like her again. What I would give to at least not be awkward around people.

 
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she has a boyfriend back home that she thinks she loves

but you know better, right? ;)

anyway tough luck. but maybe you’ll have more use of a friend anyhow. just be casual. time, experience and observation are all ways to become less awkward.

you can live without her, so anything you get out of her is a bonus. next time you come across someone, yóu’ll have more experience.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

I asked that already. She just said nice clothes because if I wear a suit then she would have to wear a dress, her words. We shall see soon enough.

Ah, right, shame.
Originally posted by dd790:
Originally posted by JaumeBG:

Remember to wear a suit, preferably black. The tie can be of your choice. If you know what colour dress or whatever she’s going to wear, wear the same colour, if not, go for a pink/red tie.


wow, worst advice of the thread.

How is wearing a suit a bad decision (excluding the hindsight of both not wearing fancy clothes)? Honest question here. As a guy who’s been to two “proms”, what you Americans would call it, this year and going to another one in December, trust me, I know how to dress in a way complementing the woman’s dress.
Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

No, apparently she has a boyfriend back home that she thinks she loves. .. I hate it when the one person I can actually talk to has a boyfriend. I will most likely never meet someone like her again. What I would give to at least not be awkward around people.

Women (and men) can sometimes be very narcissistic and not even communicate properly with a member of the opposite sex attracted to them. It’s a shame a significant proportion of people are like that, but just keep trying. Try to not get too hung over this whole issue and try to move on. You can do it!
 
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How is wearing a suit a bad decision (excluding the hindsight of both not wearing fancy clothes)? Honest question here. As a guy who’s been to two “proms”, what you Americans would call it, this year and going to another one in December, trust me, I know how to dress in a way complementing the woman’s dress.

I was under the impression the OP was dressing for dinner, not a ball. Unless they were dinning at a VERY fine restaurant then a suit would be way too formal, dressing smart is a good idea but a full suit?

 
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Better to know then not to. I’m sorry, my friend. If you ever need to talk (talking over the internet, text is so much easier) my inbox is always open.

 
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Originally posted by JaumeBG:
Originally posted by dd790:
Originally posted by JaumeBG:

Remember to wear a suit, preferably black. The tie can be of your choice. If you know what colour dress or whatever she’s going to wear, wear the same colour, if not, go for a pink/red tie.


wow, worst advice of the thread.

How is wearing a suit a bad decision (excluding the hindsight of both not wearing fancy clothes)? Honest question here. As a guy who’s been to two “proms”, what you Americans would call it, this year and going to another one in December, trust me, I know how to dress in a way complementing the woman’s dress.

wow. where are you from? where i live, your advice would be the worst in the world, and honestly, i thought that was deliberate.