Why is it always the guy's fault?

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I’ve noticed that, in every relationship I’ve ever been in, if there was an argument, I was always to blame? No matter what I said, or did. If I did nothing wrong, it’s still my fault. Why does this happen to me?

 
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Find better women.

 
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Some anecdotal evidence for your point may help

Also I fear you maybe making rather a generalisation

 
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Date men.

 
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Okay so, here’s some anecdotal evidence. My girlfriend got sad for “no reason” last night because apparently girls do that. I thought she was being passive-aggressive because she is like that, and is also very OCD about things. So I say “Stop being passive-aggressive”(sent through text to make things clear) and she flips out and gets mad at me, and says “Don’t accuse me of things”. I say “Okay well, stop.” and she took it that I meant “stop being sad.” but I really meant “stop being difficult and just talk to me about it” because well, I was with my friend and we were boking a smole, so I was lazy with my text. After a little bit of her calling me names, I tried to explain to her about what I meant, and she didn’t buy it. So yep.

 
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Originally posted by Uberfuchs:

Date men.

This.

 
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As BSG said really. That particular individual has problems of her own, and you may have to walk on eggshells around her. If you don’t wish to do that, then perhaps this particular relationship is not for you.

 
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Originally posted by Paain:

Okay so, here’s some anecdotal evidence. My girlfriend got sad for “no reason” last night because apparently girls do that. I thought she was being passive-aggressive because she is like that, and is also very OCD about things. So I say “Stop being passive-aggressive”(sent through text to make things clear) and she flips out and gets mad at me, and says “Don’t accuse me of things”. I say “Okay well, stop.” and she took it that I meant “stop being sad.” but I really meant “stop being difficult and just talk to me about it” because well, I was with my friend and we were boking a smole, so I was lazy with my text. After a little bit of her calling me names, I tried to explain to her about what I meant, and she didn’t buy it. So yep.

No idea what “boking a smole” is but I was expecting a story that made you atleast sound blameless, sounds like you didn’t really care why she was sad, otherwise you wouldn’t of just text her, and you text a girl to see why she was sad, while busy with your mates and only half arsed texting her?!? Then claim you are blameless…

 
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Basically he was smoking weed.

 
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wow. that’s one of the funnyest stories i’ve read, uhm, this month.

you remind me of this guy

 
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Your’re 16…how many “relationships” have ya had?
What kind were they?
How “deep” were they?
How long did they last?
You ARE 16….everything IS your “fault”….lol
Esp. if ya behave as ya relate in your “story”.
Ya were…eerrrrr, kinda a dick.

 
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After listening to your bizarre anecdote, I would like to amend my previous statement:

Maybe it isn’t the whole gender of women? Maybe it isn’t even your girlfriend? What if, just saying, it’s you? I know, shocking.

 
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I think TheBSG has it about right here. If this happened to you with one, say two women, then sure, it may be odd. However, if this has happened with every woman you have been with, then you may have a problem yourself.

Maybe that night she was sad because she wanted to be with you, but instead you were smoking some pot? Ever stop to think about that? Why weren’t you watching some cute movie like The Notebook with her? Why weren’t you dating at the local park or restaurant?

You may want to treat your women with more respect before you brand over 3.5 billion human beings as always guilt-free and accusatory of men.

Go out on a date. Have a milkshake tomorrow for breakfast with her, and then have a picnic somewhere.

 
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There are real-world influences at work today that give women a certain type and amount of power in relationships.

For example, women are often the ones who consent to sexual activity occurring in a relationship; it is, in general, assumed that men are “good to go”, and as a result women may deny their lovers sexual release at any time if they so choose.

Also, due to many factors, the law tends to favour women in domestic disputes; anything from divorce proceedings to instances of battering. Bear in mind that by pointing this out I am NOT saying that this arrangement doesn’t make sense.

Though there is more to it than these two facets, the average male in an average relationship will find himself having to appease his partner to a certain degree, moreso than is reciprocated. He will do so to engage in sex, which she likely holds final dominion over. And there is the ever-present knowledge that the law is statistically more likely to favour her in the event of a major dispute, which will encourage him to keep quarrels from escalating. To do that, further appeasement is often necessary; that, or rock-solid reasoning.

But TC, from your anecdote it looks like you plain messed up. I know for a fact that men sometimes become suddenly depressed as well; wouldn’t you want her to comfort you in such a situation? Here I was thinking she was mad at you for no reason.

 
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Originally posted by Retneug:


Also, due to many factors, the law tends to favour women in domestic disputes; anything from divorce proceedings to instances of battering. Bear in mind that by pointing this out I am NOT saying that this arrangement doesn’t make sense.

You’re not saying it doesn’t make sense, but I am. The law is slowly changing however. Not fast enough but it is changing.

Battering can go both ways. Not often, but it does happen. These cases are not dealt with effectively at the moment. Divorce proceedings favoring the female solely because of her gender is an outdated concept that needs to change. You get crap mothers the same as you get crap fathers. Some women have no maternal instincts to speak of – literally.

 
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Capitalism doesn’t make sense as a method of governing, considered objectively. An underclass will form guaranteed; some will grow strong and rich while others grow weak and poor. Isn’t the most just, the most sensible solution to have everyone split work and resources equally?

I would argue that it is; but human nature generates power dynamics naturally. We judge ourselves in relation to others; we form rivalries and desire more than our neighbours. Thus, with human nature in mind, capitalism makes a whole lot of sense; it is a method of governing that caters to our lust for power by offering several various flavours of power and allowing people to fail and excel at attaining it as they will.

In this way, disparity between our genders still makes sense. Men are still statistically more likely to batter than be battered due, in large part, to the power most men have inherently; a stronger frame than their feminine counterparts. Likewise, women are the ones who have the power to give birth, and so the bond they share with their offspring is considered stronger. In a perfect society these power dynamics wouldn’t even be considerations because our rationality would allow us to always be civil to one another, and treat eachother as equals… But, as it stands, other men look at a battered man and say “what’s wrong with you? You’re a big strong man; you could’ve taken her”, whereas a woman can make up a battering scenario and have a very good chance of being believed; such things are the trend, after all, and as an officer it’s less destructive to take her at her word and be proven wrong that to ignore it and experience the same.

 
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I’m not saying it should be ignored. What I am saying is that both cases should be investigated equally.

and so the bond they share with their offspring is considered stronger.

Not always. It depends on the individual. The individual needs to be considered not the gender. To do otherwise is to invite a miscarriage of justice.

 
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Sure, I wasn’t saying any sort of battering issue should be ignored by any means; I was simply trying to show that even officers of the law are subject to the trends and erroneous beliefs of our time. Female accusations of battering will simply attract more notice and a keener investigation due to it being a fairly hot-button issue, and there being much at stake if the matter isn’t resolved properly. I agree that both types of battering should be investigated to an equal degree, but the previously-mentioned human tendency toward power dynamics imbalances the whole issue.

The bond women share with their offspring is considered stronger in NA society due to their ability to bear children; that is a fact. Individual women may void that advantage through extreme behaviour, but the fact is that women are more likely to win custody battles independent of considerations other than their gender. The law dictates that both genders be treated equally in this circumstance, but the law is carried out by people… And people have preconceptions that will colour their judgement no matter what.

I believe in justice, just like you… But I acknowledge it as an ideal that is constantly obstructed by human error and emotional considerations. I hope that, one day, human legal systems will function without bias… But I don’t see that day coming anytime soon.

 
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Originally posted by TheBSG:

After listening to your bizarre anecdote, I would like to amend my previous statement:

Maybe it isn’t the whole gender of women? Maybe it isn’t even your girlfriend? What if, just saying, it’s you? I know, shocking.

lol
I wondered if such an extrapolation wasn’t in order.

 
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It really seems like it’s just you being a jerk. If it wasn’t that, then maybe date women with a more mature attitude and outlook on life.

 
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Originally posted by Paain:

Okay so, here’s some anecdotal evidence. My girlfriend got sad for “no reason” last night because apparently girls do that. I thought she was being passive-aggressive because she is like that, and is also very OCD about things. So I say “Stop being passive-aggressive”(sent through text to make things clear) and she flips out and gets mad at me, and says “Don’t accuse me of things”. I say “Okay well, stop.” and she took it that I meant “stop being sad.” but I really meant “stop being difficult and just talk to me about it” because well, I was with my friend and we were boking a smole, so I was lazy with my text. After a little bit of her calling me names, I tried to explain to her about what I meant, and she didn’t buy it. So yep.

Hahahahaha! Don’t forget the “LOOK”. The one all women are born with? You will never understand women. They never have the same definitions you have for words, and for Gods Sake, don’t fall in to this trap…“Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” You must immediately, without thought, say, “No dear.”

 
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Bitches be crazy, yo.

There’s some sort of societal push that makes it okay for women to be emotionally insane (I blame PMS), and I don’t get it either. Your best bet is to date a girl who has a “almost brother” where she doesn’t feel any sexual attraction to him (although the other way around isn’t always true) so she can baaaww out all her feelings to, letting you just hang out with her how you want.

 
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Originally posted by jhco50:

Hahahahaha! Don’t forget the “LOOK”. The one all women are born with? You will never understand women. They never have the same definitions you have for words, and for Gods Sake, don’t fall in to this trap…“Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” You must immediately, without thought, say, “No dear.”

(in my best Ronald Regan voice), there YOU go again…full of the bullshit hyperbole.

YOUR attempt at clever witticism (often made & usually “fail”) certainly isn’t ALWAYS the case.
Fortunately for ME, my wife is also my best friend.
AND, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one to be so blessed.
Good communication is very essential for ANY high-functioning relationship.
Ergo, use of words that have as near-same meaning as possible is very helpful in this.

While not ALWAYS the case, if a friend asks for a HONEST opinion….then give it.
Why bullshit (lie?) to a friend.
Friends don’t let friends dress like their asses look fat.

AND, do not…I repeat, DO NOT ever adopt this ridiculous attitude of: Bros before hos.
An inability for a man to be able to relate to women (usually because of said bigoted attitude and likely just plain laziness) usually lies w/ him.
Ergo, yes…this would obviously be the guys fault.

 
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Yeah, I used to think “all women” were a certain way until I found my current girlfriend. Communication, as Karma said, is key. When either of us is upset about something, we simply say “Maybe you didn’t mean to, but I felt this way when you did this, and I don’t know if it’s fair for me to feel that way, but it’s how I feel.” instead of glaring at each other for not being telepathic.

 
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feminism allows women to do whatever they want without having to take responsibility. it gives them ultimate power. it has always been a hate and world domination movement.
it is used to brainwash men into submitting to women. (“ill have to ask the wife”, “can i play poker with the guys tonight”)

start dating men :) (or eastern women)

this might help:

avoiceformen.com