Pope Ratzinger Retires

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Pope Benedict XVI has announced that he will be retiring at the end of the month.

I had no clue that being selected to hear the unfiltered voice of God was an optional thing?

“The selection ceremony is over, we have determined that it is God’s will that Bob be the avatar for the conscious universe. What is your Papal decree?”
“Eh, I’m not feeling this whole thing. If there’s someone else with the divine grace of God that can fill in for me, that’d be swell. I’m getting a house boat.”

While the ontological premise of resigning from being the avatar for the conscious universe baffles and amuses me, I have to give a certain amount of respect to Ratzinger. The modesty and honesty required to admit you’re not cognizant enough for the world to hang on your every word is honorable. Quiet voices surrounding the last pope mentioned that he had kind of lost his shit a while before he died. Dementia would make it awful difficult to be so self critical, but Ratzinger has the wisdom and foresight to admit his weakness, which I consider quite generous and humble.

Edit: Unless of course this retirement has anything to do with sexual abuse scandals or anything like that, in which case fuck him, take responsibility.

 
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I was quite surprised, never even considered that the Pope even could resign. Thought it was a job for life kind of thing. But yeah, it’s worthy of praise that he felt able to do such a thing.

Maybe this time they’ll pick someone who isn’t 78.

 
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Well, about time he made a correct decision, I guess.

 
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about time

a german pope is totally racist, a big offense to all the jew people

 
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If America can have a black president, the Vatican can have a black, female Pope.

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No it can’t because white men are God’s special children.

 
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Most curious. I wonder if they’ll pick another arch conservative, it didn’t really work out this time. There’s an identity crises working itself out in the Catholic Church. Whether they want to be fundamentalist, traditionalist, inheritors of thousands of years of legacy. Or embrace progressive, changing values of inclusion, multiculturalism, and interpretation.

 
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It looks like Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson of Ghana is favored to be next in line.

“If God would wish to see a black man also as pope, thanks be to God” -Turkson

5/2 Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson – Ghana
3/1 Cardinal Marc Ouellet -Canada
4/1 Cardinal Francis Arinze – Nigeria
6/1 Cardinal Angelo Scola – Milan, Italy
10/1 Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga – Honduras
14/1 Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone -Frascati, Italy
14/1 Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco -Genoa, Italy
16/1 Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio -Buenos Aires
25/1 Cardinal Leonardo Sandri
25/1 Cardinal Claudio Hummes
25/1 Cardinal Wilfred Fox Napier
33/1 Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi
33/1 Archbishop Raymond Burke
33/1 Cardinal Norberto Rivera Carrera
33/1 Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi
33/1 Cardinal Timothy Dolan
33/1 Cardinal Camillo Ruini
33/1 Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn
33/1 Cardinal Ivan Dias
40/1 Cardinal Francisco Javier Errazuriz Ossa
40/1 Cardinal William Levada
66/1 Cardinal George Pell
66/1 Monsignor Pietro Parolin

 
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Bullshit. I would be happy, but I call bullshit. If a black man becomes pope, I will shit myself.

 
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Out of the top three, two of them are black. The second most likely is Canadian, hahaha. Either way, it does look highly likely.

 
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Best pope joke so far:

He’s really taking lent seriously this year.

 
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Originally posted by kevinmitnick:

about time

a german pope is totally racist, a big offense to all the jew people

Damn right!
I’ll sure as hell be having a huge party with all my German Jewish Christian friends at the end of the month.
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Wait a second…



@ slasher:
By definition, God cannot be the pope.

 
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I hope you guys really understand how truly historic this is, though right? He’s literally “hanging up the God phone” as a friend of mine put it so astutely.

 
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Originally posted by TheBSG:

I hope you guys really understand how truly historic this is, though right? He’s literally “hanging up the God phone” as a friend of mine put it so astutely.

Yeah, it sure is funny how the absolutely best decision he has made in his whole time as pope is one that doesn’t make one bit of sense from a truly religious point of view.

EDIT: Forgot that the pope is infallible.
Damn… Seems like they got all the loopholes covered after all.

 
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If he is the direct link to god, and does god’s work, does that mean that god fired his ass?

 
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That same day, some hours later, during the evening…

 
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^ Looks like God just got the news.

The church claims that its physical ailments that’s preventing the pope from continuing his job and from what I’ve seen I’d have to agree to some extent. I would also note that the pope still listens and prays to God but instead of doing so as a pope he does so as a Cardinal (and probably ends up in a monastery somewhere).

Also….

I had no clue that being selected to hear the unfiltered voice of God was an optional thing?

I believe you can deny being a pope (during the conclave) but its extremely poor form to.

 
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“I don’t want to be closer in communication to the all powerful indecipherable creator of everything.”

It’s astounding how many posts some of the shithole threads on these forums get, yet you guys don’t have any interest in one of the most unprecedented social stories in our world since the very early 1400s?

 
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Originally posted by basicbasic:

I would also note that the pope still listens and prays to God but instead of doing so as a pope he does so as a Cardinal (and probably ends up in a monastery somewhere).

Also….

I heard they actually renovate a whole monastery that has been inhabited by nuns until now to make it his final residence.

Very humble.

 
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“I don’t want to be closer in communication to the all powerful indecipherable creator of everything.”

Whoah, what? Is that a direct quote? What is the source of that? That’s a pretty crazy thing for the pope to say.

It’s astounding how many posts some of the shithole threads on these forums get, yet you guys don’t have any interest in one of the most unprecedented social stories in our world since the very early 1400s?

It ultimately seems a very rational act. It’s a romantic thing to hold an office until death, but ultimately most people aren’t doing all that well before they die. The idea of the face and leader of an organization stepping down before he’s a lingering, mad corpse is hardly all that shocking in its own right. The fact that it is contrary to so much tradition of the tradition of the Catholics I think shows only the earlier roots of the organization.

I dare say if anything it shows their maturation as an organization. That the Pope is no longer a reigning God-Emperor clutching his keys to heaven until death, but a simple figurehead representing wisdom, insight and authority over the Church. Seems, well, reasonable to me.

 
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Viva il Papa!

 
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Who gives a dam I never even knew who the pope was lol

 
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Originally posted by Wraymond:

Who gives a dam I never even knew who the pope was lol

The Pope has a huge influence in quite a few countries.
Remember that whole condom issue?
People were not upset because some religious leader talked bullshit. People were upset because some religious leader talked bullshit and many people in countries that are hotspots for HIV listen to that guy.

 
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Originally posted by slasher:

It looks like Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson of Ghana is favored to be next in line.

“If God would wish to see a black man also as pope, thanks be to God” -Turkson

5/2 Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson – Ghana
3/1 Cardinal Marc Ouellet -Canada
4/1 Cardinal Francis Arinze – Nigeria
6/1 Cardinal Angelo Scola – Milan, Italy
10/1 Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga – Honduras
14/1 Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone -Frascati, Italy
14/1 Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco -Genoa, Italy
16/1 Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio -Buenos Aires
25/1 Cardinal Leonardo Sandri
25/1 Cardinal Claudio Hummes
25/1 Cardinal Wilfred Fox Napier
33/1 Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi
33/1 Archbishop Raymond Burke
33/1 Cardinal Norberto Rivera Carrera
33/1 Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi
33/1 Cardinal Timothy Dolan
33/1 Cardinal Camillo Ruini
33/1 Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn
33/1 Cardinal Ivan Dias
40/1 Cardinal Francisco Javier Errazuriz Ossa
40/1 Cardinal William Levada
66/1 Cardinal George Pell
66/1 Monsignor Pietro Parolin

Can I ask where you got these odds from?

 
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There was an issue with the pope in some European countries not so long ago, as well. He spoke out strongly against proposed homosexual and transgender equality laws the UK and France were both considering. Citing such things as ungodly. Claiming, and I quote:

“When freedom to be creative becomes the freedom to create oneself, then necessarily the Maker himself is denied and ultimately man too is stripped of his dignity as a creature of God.”

In other words, apparently there should be limits on how much freedom of expression, and individual choice to run their own lives an individual should be allowed, according to him at least. Thankfully, less and less governments are bothering to listen to him, at least in Europe.

Maybe the next one won’t be an arch-conservative with his head up his own behind, and that behind placed firmly in the eighteenth centry, but I rather doubt it.