Women are so confusing. page 2

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Originally posted by dd790:

How is wearing a suit a bad decision (excluding the hindsight of both not wearing fancy clothes)? Honest question here. As a guy who’s been to two “proms”, what you Americans would call it, this year and going to another one in December, trust me, I know how to dress in a way complementing the woman’s dress.

I was under the impression the OP was dressing for dinner, not a ball. Unless they were dinning at a VERY fine restaurant then a suit would be way too formal, dressing smart is a good idea but a full suit?

Yeah,,,,that’s where I went w/ it. Jaume, there’s nothing “wrong” w/ your haberdashery advice. It’s just that for someone so young and for a very casual “date”….a suit WOULD VERY LIKELY be a hugely bad choice and could send a woefully erroneous “message” to the young lady.

There should be less drama and more “FUN” in casual dating.
No one is gambling on anything more serious than lost time.
Spending of huge sums of money is bad manners.
Overwrought emotions are scary and detrimental.
Stay KOOL and focus on have JOINT FUN TIMES……NO pressures.

 
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And there’s my downfall. I have so many emotions that the only way to get them out is in text, and sometimes it’s a bit much…If I really feel close to someone, I can still never seem to tell them completely face to face, but then I go think, and words just pour out all over. The pains of a broken heart are just as bad as people say. ;(

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

And there’s my downfall. I have so many emotions that the only way to get them out is in text, and sometimes it’s a bit much…If I really feel close to someone, I can still never seem to tell them completely face to face, but then I go think, and words just pour out all over. The pains of a broken heart are just as bad as people say. ;(

I feel for you buddy. All of us older fellas have gone through this same thing and we got over it, you will too. All of the posters give you good advice.

 
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Originally posted by OmegaDoom:
Originally posted by JaumeBG:
Originally posted by dd790:
Originally posted by JaumeBG:

Remember to wear a suit, preferably black. The tie can be of your choice. If you know what colour dress or whatever she’s going to wear, wear the same colour, if not, go for a pink/red tie.


wow, worst advice of the thread.

How is wearing a suit a bad decision (excluding the hindsight of both not wearing fancy clothes)? Honest question here. As a guy who’s been to two “proms”, what you Americans would call it, this year and going to another one in December, trust me, I know how to dress in a way complementing the woman’s dress.

wow. where are you from? where i live, your advice would be the worst in the world, and honestly, i thought that was deliberate.

Formals (or ‘Proms’) are different, your meant to dress up. What could’ve been was just a casual date. Besides…. pink ties?

 
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yeah but first of all proms are one of those things that i would just… well, lets just say i’m glad i don’t live in america, so i don’t have to deal with that (i would absolutely have refused to have anything to do with any Prom, or Homecoming, or any of that all-American crap)

but more to the point that’s the first mention of Proms in the entire thread. nothing suggests the OP was talking about anything like that.

 
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Going to a restaurant date in a suit is not exactly out of the ordinary. I did it once, and I was seen as both overdressed and staggering according to the girl. In this thread, I was not aware it was a casual restaurant date, and besides, going there with a suit would still look good. If unsure, overdress instead of underdress.

And pink ties look pretty decent, yes.

Also, I never said OP was going to a prom either.

 
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hmm. interesting. would depend on the girl, i reckon. with any girl i ever dated (all two of them lol), or even almost any girl i ever associated with, the opposite would be true. but that’s just me i guess. or my city perhaps.

(edit): come to think of it, we don’t even “date” in the American sense. we just go out.

 
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Originally posted by JaumeBG:

Going to a restaurant date in a suit is not exactly out of the ordinary. I did it once, and I was seen as both overdressed and staggering according to the girl. In this thread, I was not aware it was a casual restaurant date, and besides, going there with a suit would still look good. If unsure, overdress instead of under dress.

And pink ties look pretty decent, yes.

Also, I never said OP was going to a prom either.

Jaume, in a bit of a jest to ya: once isn’t exactly “out of the ordinary”….lol
Of course, fershur….wearing a suit & tie (in America) all depends upon the restaurant, the time of day, etc…
America has become very less formal, for even fine, evening dining, over the last 50 years.
There is even one restaurant that will cut off your necktie should ya wear one to it.

I agree about overdressed than under dressed….of course, depending upon the degrees of both.
AND, depending upon the shade of pink and the cut of the suit and the color of the shirt,,,,sure, I’d wear pink. But then, I’m very “unconventional”.

 
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I’m going to add my 2c to this thread. I wasn’t going to, but Jaume, I might be able to add a bit of a different perspective. If a man invites me out to lunch say, I’m going to turn up either in my normal work clothes, or at best jeans and a top.

If he then turns up in a suit, it is going to make me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. This then spoils the atmosphere of the meeting. Being self-conscious throughout is not exactly pleasant, and is likely what your previous dates meant when they expressed concern.

It is always going to be best to clarify the state of dress you intend. Different people are comfortable with different levels.

 
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Well here’s an update:

Life is getting much, much worse. I thought she wanted to be friends still, but it’s almost as if she doesn’t want to talk to me. No one ever seems to. Do you guys think I should text her and ask her straight up if she hates me now? I’m really depressed and I don’t really know what to do and it is affecting my work. (which isn’t good because my school workload is much greater than most people’s) Although, all my work has been hugely driven by crazy emotions, like this piece below.

The song in the hat is her favorite song. She is Mexican and her favorite Paramore song as well as mine is “The Only Exception”, so it’s fitting. My eye has green within it, being her and my eye color. The letters in my neck, “TY” for Thank You, was unintentional, but it does mean something to me. And of course, Dream, but that sounds pretty cliche.

edit: And yes, those are vampire bites, with my emotions falling out. It does make sense to me, it does relate to her, and it was also unintentional.

 
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Do what you have to do, I really am in no place to help. I don’t think many of us are. Since most our tastes are different and vika seems to be the only person who can/will give you information inside the female sex. Other then the obvious tips like don’t call her fat and other bits of common sense theres not much many of us can help you.

Also, have you asked your parents for help? I know it may seem to awkward or embarrassing but they can still help you. (Even if they aren’t up to date with some of the modern conventions).

 
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uzzbuzz, please read this.
It might help a weeeebit.
At the least, it shows that ya are not all that “alone” in this.
So, just as in the death of a real person,,,,a loved one, the “death” of a love can be emotionally crushing….esp. if one is as artistically-minded as ya seem to be.
At the very least, there is this notion that: a “suffered artist” will produce a much greater passion in their work.

Best wishes to ya, bud….I’m pullin’ for ya.

 
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Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

Well here’s an update:

Life is getting much, much worse. I thought she wanted to be friends still, but it’s almost as if she doesn’t want to talk to me. No one ever seems to. Do you guys think I should text her and ask her straight up if she hates me now? I’m really depressed and I don’t really know what to do and it is affecting my work. (which isn’t good because my school workload is much greater than most people’s) Although, all my work has been hugely driven by crazy emotions, like this piece below.
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The song in the hat is her favorite song. She is Mexican and her favorite Paramore song as well as mine is “The Only Exception”, so it’s fitting. My eye has green within it, being her and my eye color. The letters in my neck, “TY” for Thank You, was unintentional, but it does mean something to me. And of course, Dream, but that sounds pretty cliche.

edit: And yes, those are vampire bites, with my emotions falling out. It does make sense to me, it does relate to her, and it was also unintentional.

Ahhh to be young and feel on top of the world one day and like your the only person bad things happen too the next.

I’m not taking the mick, I was like that when I was young, I think we all were. Drank a 2 litre of cheap cider when I was 14 and lost ‘the only girl I’d ever love", progressed to a bottle of tequila when I was 18 and lost the second “only girl I’d ever love”. Same again at 20, except we actually were as close to “soul mates” as you’d really find but we are still friends now and I probably still do love her on some level but I am just happy to have an awesome friend that I get on with so well.

Moral of the story, it hurts, and it may never stop hurting, but it hurts a little less each time and the pain helps make you a better person and helps you to deal with it better next time. Besides, the only way things can feel so bad now is if your comparing now to something that felt great, so just remember all the good feelings that came from it. I’d recommend not pressing things too much, you were happy as friends once, and can be again, sure it is awkward for a while, but that passes and I for one am glad I kept as friends with the last girl I loved because she is still an amazing friend, with me or with someone else

I wouldn’t advise texting her too often or asking for reasons, trying to convince her to be with you, etc. I have been on the sending and receiving end of guys sending text like that and it gets really old, really fast

 
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Originally posted by dd790:

Ahhh to be young and feel on top of the world one day and like your the only person bad things happen too the next.

I’m not taking the mick, I was like that when I was young, I think we all were. Drank a 2 litre of cheap cider when I was 14 and lost ‘the only girl I’d ever love", progressed to a bottle of tequila when I was 18 and lost the second “only girl I’d ever love”. Same again at 20, except we actually were as close to “soul mates” as you’d really find but we are still friends now and I probably still do love her on some level but I am just happy to have an awesome friend that I get on with so well.

Hot damn….THAT is the makings of a really good C & W song. lol

Moral of the story, it hurts, and it may never stop hurting, but it hurts a little less each time and the pain helps make you a better person and helps you to deal with it better next time. Besides, the only way things can feel so bad now is if your comparing now to something that felt great, so just remember all the good feelings that came from it. I’d recommend not pressing things too much, you were happy as friends once, and can be again, sure it is awkward for a while, but that passes and I for one am glad I kept as friends with the last girl I loved because she is still an amazing friend, with me or with someone else

Of course, THIS PART can’t be in the C & W song.
BUT, it sure could make a good “rap” song or a great part of a Broadway play that is build around the “show tune”.

 
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Well I’ve still been dragging this emotion with me an I think I need to update.

Things were going good between her and I and I was working and hanging out with her a couple times. Now there might be a problem.

So we were texting one night and I asked her why she was putting off the homework when she could be doing it sooner. She says that because she has more important things to worry about.

I said “I know that feeling. I hope you get everything all good because it seems like you’ve been upset about something for about a month. I hope you’re ok”

Then she said something like “Oh (name),
that doesn’t help at all” I apologized, all she said was “its ok…goodnight.”

She doesn’t usually go to sleep that early too. So a day after I asked her how she was doing, all she said was Good. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t know what to do. I said hi to her in the hall today, nothing.

Edit: also note how’s she seemed different for about a month. My last post was about a month ago…

 
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women are not confusing
ask her straightforwardly and clarify your own doubt

 
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I have in the past, there’s just something this time where I can’t talk to her.

 
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In any case, you shouldn’t let emotional pain consume you, it’s harmful to yourself. (Coming from a once-excessively-enamored-teenager)

Find ways to vent your energy, improve your focus on schoolwork, whatever you need to do to cheer yourself up.

Do not spend all your waking moments thinking about her, it’s fruitless.
Rather, make a decision like “I’ll be a friend for her, if she ever seeks me out again. And if not, I’ll move on with my life, realizing that there is plenty of opportunity for developing relationships in the future.” or whatever suits your tastes (preferably a healthy decision).

That way you know how things are with you, and though you may not with her, you can at least move forward on your own path.

(My personal opinion)

 
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Leave her alone for a bit. Also don’t bother hoping for anything. You’ll just be more upset when nothing happens.

 
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Originally posted by TheAznSensation:

In any case, you shouldn’t let emotional pain consume you, it’s harmful to yourself. (Coming from a once-excessively-enamored-teenager)

Find ways to vent your energy, improve your focus on schoolwork, whatever you need to do to cheer yourself up.

Do not spend all your waking moments thinking about her, it’s fruitless.
Rather, make a decision like “I’ll be a friend for her, if she ever seeks me out again. And if not, I’ll move on with my life, realizing that there is plenty of opportunity for developing relationships in the future.” or whatever suits your tastes (preferably a healthy decision).

That way you know how things are with you, and though you may not with her, you can at least move forward on your own path.

(My personal opinion)

I believe this is very sound advice. Unfortunately, it’s much easier said then done.

Remember that this super-in-love feeling you have really isn’t what real long-term love even is like. That being said, it’s still really difficult to turn off this kind of feelings for someone. However, wikihow has advice! (That’s intended to be humorous)

Do also remember though how you have a family that loves you, friends that care, a good school to learn things from, a job to earn money, etc. (I do realize these all may or may not apply to you, but you catch my drift.)

 
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I got through my problems after finding this. If you recognise yourself in that, I recommend to also read the other articles there.

 
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Originally posted by UZZBUZZ:

Well I’ve still been dragging this emotion with me an I think I need to update.

Things were going good between her and I and I was working and hanging out with her a couple times. Now there might be a problem.

So we were texting one night and I asked her why she was putting off the homework when she could be doing it sooner. She says that because she has more important things to worry about.

I said “I know that feeling. I hope you get everything all good because it seems like you’ve been upset about something for about a month. I hope you’re ok”

Then she said something like “Oh (name),
that doesn’t help at all” I apologized, all she said was “its ok…goodnight.”

She doesn’t usually go to sleep that early too. So a day after I asked her how she was doing, all she said was Good. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t know what to do. I said hi to her in the hall today, nothing.

Edit: also note how’s she seemed different for about a month. My last post was about a month ago…

Okay, time for another random female opinion. At this point, I’d say, she’s dealing with something and she wants the space and time to figure it out whatever it may be. It could be many different things she’s dealing with, just give her the space she needs. When and if she wants to talk to you, she will. Otherwise, like others have said, focus on other things and try not to think about her all the time; it’s hard but possible. Keep strong and see what happens:)

 
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And since when is that a ‘feminine’ view?

 
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Originally posted by poetic4death:
Originally posted by UZZBUZZ:

Well I’ve still been dragging this emotion with me an I think I need to update.

Things were going good between her and I and I was working and hanging out with her a couple times. Now there might be a problem.

So we were texting one night and I asked her why she was putting off the homework when she could be doing it sooner. She says that because she has more important things to worry about.

I said “I know that feeling. I hope you get everything all good because it seems like you’ve been upset about something for about a month. I hope you’re ok”

Then she said something like “Oh (name),
that doesn’t help at all” I apologized, all she said was “its ok…goodnight.”

She doesn’t usually go to sleep that early too. So a day after I asked her how she was doing, all she said was Good. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t know what to do. I said hi to her in the hall today, nothing.

Edit: also note how’s she seemed different for about a month. My last post was about a month ago…

Okay, time for another random female opinion. At this point, I’d say, she’s dealing with something and she wants the space and time to figure it out whatever it may be. It could be many different things she’s dealing with, just give her the space she needs. When and if she wants to talk to you, she will. Otherwise, like others have said, focus on other things and try not to think about her all the time; it’s hard but possible. Keep strong and see what happens:)

Another random female opinion:

Definitely give her space if she’s being vague about it. Don’t try to pin it on yourself, because it could be something entirely unrelated. And along that line, making it about you won’t look good either because you’ll just seem really unsure of yourself and add to her worries. In the end, she’ll talk to you if she truly wants to. Apologizing and asking what’s wrong won’t change that.

 
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Well I’ve gone like ten days without even talking to her now, which is a huge change from talking daily.

Oh, I didn’t even post since I got the long message. Basically she told me what you’ve all been telling me, “all [she] needs right now from [me] is some space”. At least she told me what she was thinking. I basically said goodbye to her and that I hope she’ll talk to me again one day, and all she said was “We’ll see”.