Millie Megavolte 5

This game kicks ass, you other douchebags can stuff it, and if you have a problem, you tell the maker how to fix it, not incessantly bitch on and on about what was stated previously, quit being dumbasses and be helpful, god forbid you have any other purpose in this world.

The controls seem impossibly slow. It gets frustrating just trying to move around and attack things.

meh... its a good game.. better than what i would do... the only flaw i've seen so far, is that its really hard to regain your hp. i noticed that when i killed SOME enemies i got back a little but, but it was very rare. when i had 5 hp left i ended up just jumping every enemy... add some items on the ground or something that would restore a little hp... cause its kindof hard.. >.<

The graphics are quite cute until they get recycled endlessly and the controls work mostly, but your attack is useless unless you do it from behind the enemy, at which point you realise you can just jump most of them, and then you notice you do massively more damage by jumping and attacking - in the case of the ice crystals you can't even extend your weapon enough to damage them without jumping despite standing right next to them. The plot is terrible and not especially funny, and the cutscenes go on for a surprisingly long time despite this - and include a sprinking of edgy expletives just to let you know this means business in case you had been fooled by the general air of limpness. And the guitar loop goes nowhere and adds nothing except a strong incentive to push sharp objects into your ears.
All in all, it's not surprising that the other comments are 'worthless' and 'mind-numbing' - anyone who plays this gets at least 40 IQ points knocked off - hopefully temporarily.

This game sucks!