Comments for Crush the Castle

avatar for MagicMan3K
MagicMan3K

Mar. 30, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) *shoots all 5 shoots and misses a target* *clicks 'Restart'* *game wants to finish to tell me I'm going to lose* *AGGRESSIVELY CLICKS RESTART* "You lost, do you want to restart?"

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(480)

avatar for DisgruntledLamp
DisgruntledLamp

Apr. 3, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) oh no, out of all the people we had to kill only 1 maid survived!!!!! we MUST retreat

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(231)

avatar for Arkasis
Arkasis

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) Builder, "How do want your castle built?" King, " I want it balanced on two pieces of wood."

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(1698)

avatar for Hockeynut2287
Hockeynut2287

Nov. 28, 2010

Under rating threshold (show) I'm not a failure for not killing the knight, the knight is a winner for balancing 10 tons of stone on his head...

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(2350)

avatar for Etewen
Etewen

Mar. 29, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) "How do we protect the king, sir?" "I know, have him stand on this ledge, precariously balanced above this plank of spikes." "Brilliant, sir!"

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(1919)

avatar for jedimaster107
jedimaster107

Mar. 25, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) It seems to me that a competent general would bring more than five rocks to a siege...

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(1671)

avatar for destinyflicker
destinyflicker

Apr. 2, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) when one man dies by falling over, but the other buried in castle pieces is fine..

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(9)

avatar for johnbirmingham
johnbirmingham

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Restart button should negate waiting for the timer

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(8)

avatar for gummyboys
gummyboys

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Oh god i touched my wife Agggh *dead*

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(49)

avatar for benmaster545
benmaster545

Nov. 27, 2010

Under rating threshold (show) general, the king died, fell over, hit the queen, and then she died.

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(1533)

avatar for Hanksoul97
Hanksoul97

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) king: well, how did the battle go? soldier: we killed all but one of them, your magesty king: YOU FOOL! you have disgraced yourself and must be banished!

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(20)

avatar for daexion
daexion

Mar. 30, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) The only issue I have with the game is the last few levels rely on luck with the physics engine having the pieces fall just right to get all of the targets.

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(8)

avatar for ninjacritter414
ninjacritter414

Jan. 8, 2012

Under rating threshold (show) "we're under attack. what should we do?" "let's just stand here and hope they miss"

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(17)

avatar for 4sostrander
4sostrander

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) "I want you, trusty siege general, to crush all the castles in the land!" "Sir, those are cottages with three of your subjects living in them." "NONSENSE! THEY ARE CASTLES! CRUSH THEM!" "Okay, Sir..."

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(17)

avatar for kingsolomon333
kingsolomon333

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) So, why doesnt the smaller rock fly farther than the larger rock? Seems that the same force applied on a smaller object would make it fly farther and faster...

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(17)

avatar for killzcobra
killzcobra

Feb. 12, 2013

Under rating threshold (show) I won, there is no way the king can do a headstand much longer.

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(16)

avatar for bigmoneymill
bigmoneymill

Jun. 17, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) Ahh what a nice view the birds are flying the clouds are sailing and that rock is coming right towards MY FAAACC.....

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(16)

avatar for NicktheNinja22
NicktheNinja22

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) "Quick, bring me my strongest weapon!" (a few seconds later) "A rock? Well if thats our greatest weapon...."

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(16)

avatar for dazzlygem
dazzlygem

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Part of their chivalry code must be, "Thou shalt not fire more than five times at a target."

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(17)

avatar for GanonsSpirit
GanonsSpirit

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) Why can't I just hit the reset button after I launch the last of my ammo? I don't like having to wait through the countdown.

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(39)

avatar for callofdutypro99
callofdutypro99

Feb. 21, 2012

Under rating threshold (show) one rock.......... ten people dead. I like this ratio.

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(15)

avatar for KillerDonkey95
KillerDonkey95

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) King: So your saying none of our castles are actually secured? Servant: No sir, we thought it'd be better if we just precariously placed all the pieces on top of each other.... King: Thank God we're not under siege it'd only take one catapult to wipe out the kingdom.... >.>

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(15)

avatar for JarlHiros
JarlHiros

Sep. 16, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) They said I was daft for building a castle in a swamp. But I built it all the same! It sank into the swamp. So I built it again. That castle sank into the swamp. The third castle burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. The fourth castle, the fourth castle stayed up! And now it's the strongest castle around...until hit by flying rocks.

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(14)

avatar for danyol
danyol

Aug. 12, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) Why does the reset button not work after your last shot? Seems that's the most common time to hit the reset button...

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(51)

avatar for timebreaker2
timebreaker2

May. 31, 2014

Under rating threshold (show) Life lesson learned form this game: if move 5 feet from your original standing position… you die. likewise, if you are simply touched by one of you own castle walls… you die.

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(13)

avatar for demoExpert
demoExpert

Aug. 21, 2012

Under rating threshold (show) They're shooting boulders at us! What do we do?" King: I say we sit here and wait for them to kill us.

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(13)

avatar for Ocsaleb
Ocsaleb

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) It seems to me that a competent general would bring more than 5 units of ammo to a siege.

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(30)

avatar for Eonzeon
Eonzeon

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) this is a badge of the day?! such a middle finger

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(6)

avatar for 1478623590
1478623590

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Not being able to reset when you fire the last shot until it waits for a few seconds and judges you obviously unsuccessful is a slight oversight

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(6)

avatar for Problematixx
Problematixx

Apr. 3, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) *gets 9 kills in one shot* *cant kill the last person in the other four* *throws laptop*

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(15)

avatar for cmikaiti
cmikaiti

Jun. 23, 2012

Under rating threshold (show) Why is there a timer after you throw your last stone (that you can't hit reset to override)? Just let it sit there until you either win or hit reset. The quit/reset menu is useless.

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(12)

avatar for Harrug
Harrug

Apr. 2, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) I love how it's either "Royal Success" or "Royal Failure." I figured it was a grading system at first until I got those same messages every time I succeeded and failed.

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(15)

avatar for hijacker2002
hijacker2002

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Oh no! The castle didn't collapse in under 3 seconds! We must retreat before the queen dies!

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(6)

avatar for NuclearTorpedo
NuclearTorpedo

Aug. 28, 2010

Under rating threshold (show) Retreating because of ammo depletion? Couldn't you just... bring in some more? They're stones, for crying out loud! They're naturally occuring!

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(28)

avatar for JimTheHobo
JimTheHobo

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) Sir Both kings and queens have perished, as have the 4 princesses, but don't worry, the Archer survived! We can rebuild the kingdom now that the unstoppable trebuche has been halted by a 13yr old with a stick trapped under the 2000 tonne ruins of our "Castle" has scared them off! =D

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(42)

avatar for awesomescott
awesomescott

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) the worst way to die.... having a servant mindlessly fall on you and kill you instantly

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(132)

avatar for GINGERLIKE
GINGERLIKE

Sep. 28, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) "Oh my god, what happened to Wilkes?" "He fell over" "Shit, that's the third one this week"

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(26)

avatar for ChrisRedfield45
ChrisRedfield45

Apr. 10, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) *Throws a small stone in the castle* *Small stone falls on a maid's head* Maid: AAHH! *Dies* *Maid rolls to her side and touches a knight* Knight: *Dies* Toxic people?!

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(7)

avatar for chocolatelover23
chocolatelover23

Apr. 10, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) *Throws endless stones on top the fortification* *One small stone slips between the cracks, and rolls onto the foot of the king* "AAH!*King dies a horrible, and bloody death.* cue dramatic music...

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(6)

avatar for Sutnel
Sutnel

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) The three little pigs each built their own house to protect themselves from the wolf. The first one built it of wood, but the great siege engine threw rocks at it and the house was no more. The second one built it of stone, but the great siege engine threw groups of three rocks at it and the house was no more. The last house was built of stone, wood, and reinforced metal and set up in such a way that were the rocks to hit it that only so many of the pigs would die. The great siege engine tried its hardest throwing combinations of bombs, rocks, and groups of three rocks, but eventually gave up because it realized that bombs are more like fire crackers.

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(36)

avatar for nitrodog96
nitrodog96

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) A siege tactician would really have brought more than one trebuchet and five volleys per castle.

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(5)

avatar for JDRPG
JDRPG

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Tired of waiting on that last miss, where you have to wait to restart? Go back to the main menu, hit level select, and select the level you were on. It's faster than waiting, trust me.

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(5)

avatar for kingsonic11
kingsonic11

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) why i'm not a royal failure, its the catapult that is defective

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(5)

avatar for EMwegA
EMwegA

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) ragequit at lvl 24

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(5)

avatar for simsimdimsim
simsimdimsim

Sep. 12, 2010

Under rating threshold (show) "You are a royal failure and are forced to retreat" - OH NO, RUN AWAY! The inanimate enemy is going to get us because a piece of castle didn't fall onto their heads!

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(415)

avatar for Katana01
Katana01

Jan. 17, 2012

Under rating threshold (show) "Don't move a muscle...", the king said, "the siege operator's vision is based on movement."

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(9)

avatar for buster3535
buster3535

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) oddly satisfying when the the ruling class pops a spray of blood like eating a grape

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(9)

avatar for knightmare37
knightmare37

Jun. 1, 2011

Under rating threshold (show) i hate the last level

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(9)

avatar for gummyboys
gummyboys

Apr. 4, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) They couldn't afford to hire real architects so the hired the jester instead.

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(18)

avatar for Terrazia
Terrazia

Mar. 30, 2015

Under rating threshold (show) Why the reset button doesn't work after you fire your last thing is beyond me. Resetting takes forever considering some levels, you probably won't get lucky and do it first try. Medium badge is too hard to be a medium badge because of the last level. The entire game hinges around pixel perfect timing, which isn't so much a game as much as it is, find the exact pixel you need and time it perfectly. 0 stars, waste of a badge, don't waste your time with this.

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(19)

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