Recent posts by LethalMutiny on Kongregate

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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

API still stupid.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

API is stupid.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

Congrats Prec on winning! I really enjoyed this, it reminded myself that I’m not really as bad of a writer as I like to make myself out to be. I do agree with Kad though, it’s too bad that the level of activity gradually dropped off until the end of the game, but it was a really well done game. I enjoyed reading all of the submissions throughout the game.

Congrats again to Prec and thanks for the game, Bluji.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Myths explored on MythBusters)

Nickelback.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 9


Lololol.

Papa’s Cupcakeria

What are we doing, LM?

Well, I can’t be too evil with this since I’ll probably already get yelled at for this, so:

Easy-Bake Oven User Badge (easy ~ 5 points)
[ ] Unlock marshmallows by reaching rank 3

Up To 11… Degrees Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Unlock St. Paddy Day by reaching rank 11

Please provide a screenshot showing you are starting on a blank save, I forgot to mention that. Darkboy showed his in chat, so he’s good. The following screenshot would be good for the easy, but not the medium.


And now your under-badged game of the day:

Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

What are we doing, LM?

Well they made a hard badge for betting one developer score, why not all of them? See important info below example screenshot

Anacondas On A Helicopter Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ] Beat every developer score

Just an example, imagine they all say dev+. There’s an easy way to delete previous progress in this game, it’s in the options menu.

Why do I have the Total High Score tab on my screenshot? I’m glad you asked.

THIS IS A PERFORMANCE GAME.


What’s a performance game?
The person with the highest total high score posted when this set of badges is due will earn an additional 29 bonus points. Second highest score will earn 27, etc.

So for those of you tied at the top of the leaderboard, this is where you separate yourselves.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be August 1st, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 8


MAVERICK AND HAUNT THE HOUSE ARE DUE IN ROUGHLY 3 HOURS. GET THEM IN IF YOU PLAN TO.

Also, both AT and Z-Type will be medium badges for the requirements posted yesterday, just simpler that way.

ir/rational Redux

What are we doing, LM?

IF Game Completed, THEN Badge Awarded Badge medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Complete the game.

The following screenshot shows that you completed the game, clearly.


And now your under-badged game of the day:

Exit Path

What are we doing, LM?

Greg said that they decided against a hard badge for a speed run, well guess who didn’t decide against it?

City Escapee Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ] Finish the game in 7 minutes or less (The API will record 7 minutes as 420)

My screenshot is a little weird. I’d like the end game screenshot where it shows your rank in addition to this. My best time is from my main account here, so that’s why the API does not match up (and is why I want the end game screenshot as well).

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 31st, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

This isn’t going to be nearly as detailed as the other two so far, I just want to get the points I need to say out and then end with a vote.

AdeebNafees: As ham mentioned, you’re really good at describing things. You’re Cracked style article was extremely well done, as well as the rest of your submissions in general. Taking a sequel and combining two different stories was a different way of going about R8, but it turned out nicely. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into your submissions, and it shows.

Behemoth542: Well, unfortunately there isn’t much to say about your portfolio. I would have liked to see what you could have done with the other rounds, as your first two submissions were pretty good.

CalmWaters: Same for you, I had high expectations for your writings, but you disappeared after round 3. The submissions you had were good, but three submissions a complete portfolio does not make. I know you were looking forward to this competition too.

Coolo2011: You posted a poem, that’s something right? The poem was good, it’s just, that’s all you did. I can’t really say much more about it.

Hamuka: Now I get to do more writing. Having read your 9 submissions, you’re actually a really good writer; I didn’t know you were that good of one coming into this competition. Your R7 post gave me a seizure by the end, thanks to that head smashing .gif thing. If I could, I might buy a B.L.E.N.D.E.R. Maybe. If I ever find myself with no teeth I’ll highly consider it. Overall, a really good portfolio.

Precarious: Obviously I really liked your dialogue since I had to make my sequel on it. The various GPS directions showed your creative side very prominently. The admins behind the scenes was an interesting choice for R7, which only really worked if you had the mind to put behind the idea. I knew that with your writing style that your portfolio at the end would be one of the better ones, which I had no doubt that would be true. Hail Sven the Chef.

Occooa: Well… the things you wrote about were… interesting, to say the least. Each person has their own unique writing style, and yours is well, that. You wrote something for every round, so you have that going for you. I just didn’t find any of your submissions really outstanding.

S_98: Can’t really say much about yours, with just a poem under your belt, you’re doomed to a fate of very little review.

SilentSand: Make it air. I really enjoyed your dialogue; it fit the vague instructions requirement perfectly. Make it air. I would have liked to see where your unfinished final story would have gone. Even in its current state, it leaves a cliffhanger that leaves the reader wanting more. Unfortunately, not writing in all the rounds is hurting you here, but the round that you did write in were great.

Spector29: Another one who didn’t quite make it all the way. Your short story was quite interesting. It was probably one of my favorites out of the other R2 submissions, yet you suffered the same fate and only submitted about half of the rounds. Nothing else of yours really stuck out to me except for the story, but that’s just my opinion.

Woon1957: You started out strong with Inferno, but the later the rounds went, the lower the quality of your submissions went, you even said you threw together your dialogue in 30 or so minutes, and then never submitted again after that. You were another of the ones I was watching at the beginning of the game, but you fizzled out early like several other competitors.

Vote
I’ve been torn between three different writers throughout the competition, but unfortunately, there cannot be there, there can only be one, that’s why my vote for winner of CURSIVE is AdeebNafees.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 7


Since I’m biased, see below.

Z-Type

What are we doing, LM?

3rd Grade Typer Badge easy ~ 5 points)
[ ] Score 300 points in either normal or expert mode.

Mavis Beacon Badge (?? ~ ?? points)
[ ] Score 2,500 points or more in expert mode.

The follow screenshot meets both requirements.


And now your under-badged game of the day:

Action Turnip

What are we doing, LM?

Action Turnip has a badge for Run N Gun mode, but not Turnabalt mode, so you’re goal is to earn:

A Turnip A Day Badge (?? ~ ?? points)
[ ] Run 2,500 meters or more in Turnabalt mode.

Now, why do two of these badges have ?? points next to them? I’m allowing you the competitors to decide between medium (15) or hard (30) for both of those badges. Since I’m horribly biased in how I grade difficulties, I’m letting you guys decide it for once. Post here in the thread for both badges what difficulty you want on them. Please make the decision by 7/25 12pm CST.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 30th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

Not that it matters because Sand destroyed this score, but worth posting anyway.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Flash: The Games: The Tourney [Tournament] [Winners Quarterfinals, Losers Round 5] [GAME CHANGE]

Sooooo, rip this tournament a second time?

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)


 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

Day 6

Huh? What’s this? Nothing?

Today is a catch up day for those of you who perhaps haven’t started any of the badges, or need time to catch up.

Remember the deadline for the badges on Day 1 (Maverick and HtH) are due in approximately 2 days.

I’ve also received messages about Mr. Runner 2 being broken for some people, progress doesn’t save on the level select menu, game won’t load again, etc. I will be posting an alternative game with equal difficulty badges soon. You can choose to play either the alternative, or Mr. Runner 2 if it works for you. But you will only receive credit for doing one of them.

I’ll leave a question, how many of you does Mr. Runner 2 not work for? Before I just go and post an alternative.

If it is broken on Kongregate for you, you are welcome to play on the Mofunzone site here If you do this way, put your username in a notepad document and have it visible for screenshots.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 5


Sometimes you have to play, other times you can wait.

Let’s just reveal them today. Your unbadged game for today:

Parallel 2

What are we doing, LM?

This is just a fun little game that came out not too long ago, nothing too difficult.

Perfectly Parallel Badge (easy ~ 5 points)
[ ] Complete any 5 levels

Multiscreen Master Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Complete all 30 levels

The below screenshot would award you with both the easy and medium badges.


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And now your under-badged game of the day:

Anti-Idle: The Game

What are we doing, LM?

I know some of you had to know this was coming. I’ve been addicted to it for the past few weeks. There’s a ton we could do with this, but for our purposes:

Jackie Chan Apprentice Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Reach rank 50 in the Battle Arena

Obviously, my screenshot is going to be overkill, but rank 50 won’t take very long once you actually buy the Battle Arena. Since I know some of you do play this game, I ask that you use one of the other save slots for this badge.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 28th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 4


Insert witty comment here

I have no comments. This is going to be hell. Here you go, the unbadged game of the day:

Mr. Runner 2

What are we doing, LM?

Dying. Dying is what you’ll be doing. Important notes: 1) If you have a previous save file, I ask that you post a screenshot with no progress. 2) Since there is no API, having the chat open with the yellow/green plug is fine.

Beginner Jogger Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Complete World 1.

This screenshot is an example to show that you completed world 1, since the last level has a medal and time.

Olympic Sprinter Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ] Complete World 3.

The above screenshot would apply to the hard badge as well, just with world 3 instead of 1.

Usain Bolt’s Reincarnation Badge (impossible ~ 60 points)
[ ] Get 100% on all three worlds (This means all platinums medals)
[ ] Get all 15 treasures (5 per world)

The following screenshot shows an example that’s not complete (because screw this lol). It will show percent and treasures, you need to post a screenshot like this for all three worlds.


And now your under-badged game of the day:

2048 Flash

What are we doing, LM?

2048 Flash has a badge for getting 2048 points, it’s missing something else 2048 related though… Therefore:

2, 4, 8, 16, 32,… Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ] Get a 2048 block.

I didn’t have a better badge image because Greg was an ass and took the 2048 block for the easy badge.

Since I still have no idea how to play 2048, show a screenshot that looks like this once you get a 2048 block on your screen.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 27th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Myths explored on MythBusters)

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 3


Work sucks and I’m underpaid. Help.

Apparently some people don’t like Asstroflyer Astroflyer as much as I do, darn. Here’s your unbadged game for today:

Ragdoll Double Dodge

What are we doing, LM?

Well, unfortunately the API is a little broken for the game, so I can’t do what I orginally intended to do, so today you just have one badge for each game, sorry!

C’s Get Degrees, B’s Get Badges Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Get a rank of B or better.

The following screenshot would award you with the medium, since the API doesn’t work (At least it didn’t for me, maybe you’ll have better luck) this is an acceptable screenshot for today.

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And now your under-badged game of the day:

Do You Know Flash Games?

What are we doing, LM?

Do You Know Flash Games? has a medium badge for classic mode/getting 100 questions right, but it neglects the other game modes. Today, you will be going for:

Smarter Than A Flash Gamer Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Score 10,000,000 or more on Time Trial mode.

The following screenshot would be acceptable for showing that you met the requirement.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 26th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

It has always been 25 deaths.

Also as an fyi, day 3 will go live early this afternoon once I get off work and get the post ready.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

Grab bag [Text type: Short Story, Genre: Horror, Theme: Mercy]

James: Dude, I told you we made a wrong turn… look where we are, in the middle of some forest just driving hoping we find where we’re trying to go…

The old ’95 Buick Sedan rumbled down the dark forest-y road making twists and turns with no end in sight. Inside the car were four passengers: James, Morgan, Nathan, and Lisa. Lisa had made a wrong turn and decided to keep traveling along the dark road rather than turn around once she realized her mistake. The four were heading on a road trip out east, and rather than pull over in a motel for the night, they were taking turns sleeping in the car, and then driving for a couple hours.

Lisa: Oh shut up will you, if we keep driving we’ll find another road eventually and we’ll be fine. Relax!

The car traveled for a couple miles until it came to a clearing. The forest made a large circle and in the center of it was an old looking cabin. It looked as though it had been abandoned for years; bushes were overgrown in the front and windows were filled with broken glass and what appeared to be dried blood on the front step.

James: Nathan, Morgan, wake up, check this place out.

Nathan: Where the hell are we?

James: I don’t know, but this place is cool. Come on, let’s go inside while we’re here.

Morgan: Um… are you crazy? There’s no way I’m going in there.

James: Aw, what’s the matter? Afraid? Bawk bawk bawk bawk…

Morgan: Oh shut up, let’s go.

The four of them enter the cabin. Garbage is strewn all throughout the rooms, there is a thick layer of dust on more surfaces and furniture. The floorboards creek with every step, some of them missing completely, exposing a dark and musty smelling basement. The stairs leading up and warped and crooked, the handrail half broken off.

Lisa: How long do you think this place has been abandoned?

Nathan: I don’t know, but I don’t think we should stay here long… who knows how long we’ve been driving in the wrong direction.

James: Agreed, let’s just look around for a couple minutes and get out of here.

Lisa and Morgan walk into the kitchen to look around. The kitchen table is missing a leg, broken dishes are scattered on the floor, there is some rotten food in the corner that would make a nice meal for a rat.

Morgan: Uh, Lisa…?

Lisa: Yeah, what’s up?

Morgan: Did you touch any of the burners on this stove…?

Lisa: No, why?

Morgan: Well it feels warm, like someone had been using it and it’s cooling off now.

Lisa: Maybe we should just leave now. I don’t like the sound of that.

With that, the two rushed out of the kitchen just as Nathan and James are running down the stairs.

James: Guys, I think someone actually lives here!

Morgan: So do we, come on we’ve got to go. Now.

The four head for the front door, James reaches for the knob and tries to turn it. Locked.

James: Whoever locked this door it isn’t fucking funny right now!

Nathan:* Dude none of us have been by the door to lock it. It wasn’t us.

A faint hissing noise begins filling the air, and a green mist descends on the four friends.

Morgan: WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT?

James: I don’t know… but I’m feeling… lightheaded…

One by one the friends pass out unconsciously on the floor. The front door opens, and a man dress in a lime green outfit wearing a gas mask enters. The gas slowly dissipates, and the man slowly drags the friends one by one into the basement, where who knows what horrors await them.



Hours later, the four friends wake up in separate rooms from each other. The rooms are each a different color and contain vastly different apparatuses.

James (to himself): Where in the fuck am I???

A crackling sound fills the air followed by microphone feedback and finally a raspy voice.

Voice: Hello James. Are you having a good night? I know I am, and it’s about to get even better. In front of you is maze large enough for you to crawl through. Your goal is to get to the center of the maze, retrieve the key, and unlock the door behind you to the outside world in five minutes. Failing to do so may have dire consequences.

James: LISTEN HERE FUCKER. WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU’RE SO GOING TO JAIL!

Voice: Oh, I couldn’t tell you the amount of times I’ve heard that one. By the way, four minutes and fifty seconds left.

James got on his hands and knees and entered the maze, the floor of the maze was covered in shard of broken glass and the ceiling was covered in barbed wire. He slowly made his way through the maze, his knees and shins covered in blood and peeled skin. His arms and elbows becoming more and more beaten and cut by the glass.

James: I can’t do this… please… I beg you don’t make me do this.

Voice: 3 minutes James. You don’t want the timer to hit 0.

James pushed through and finally reached the center of the maze, he grabbed the key and turned around, exiting the maze as quickly as his body would let him. He found the exit to the maze and could barely stand up. Blood poured from his legs and arms as he hobbled to the door. He slid the key into the hole, turned it, and was home free. Three seconds were left on the clock.

1/4 free.


Voice: Hello Morgan, nice to see you awake.

Morgan: Who the hell are you? What do you want?

Voice: It’s best to leave the formalities out of this. In front of you is a large tub of battery acid. At the bottom of tub is a key encase in an easy open glass box. As you can see, the walls aren’t walls at all, but spikes. When I say go, you have two minutes to reach into to tub of battery acid, remove the glass box, and take the key from it and exit the room. The spikes will begin closing in once I say go. Oh, and by the way, go.

Morgan: WHAT? HEY! Oh shit… what do I do… no way in HELL am I putting my hand in there.

90 seconds passed. Morgan still had not reached into the tub, the spikes were merely two feet away from her on either side. She finally reached into the tub.

Morgan: AAAAHHHHH IT BURNS. IT FUCKING BURNS. MY SKIN IS PEELING OFF. LORD HELP ME.

She pulled the box out of the tub, the skin on her arm was burning, it was falling off of her arm as she looked at it. 10 seconds left. She scrambled to put the key in the lock. 5 seconds left. The tumbler of the lock turned and opened. 2 seconds left. The door swung open. She was home free. Just two feet to go and she was ther-Crunch.

1/4 free. 1 dead.


Voice: Hello Nathan, how are you on this fine day? Hopefully this doesn’t dampen your plans any. On the ground are 30 keys. You are hooked up to device that in 3 minutes, if the right key is not found, the device will pry your jaw from your skull. The clock will start when I say go. Any thoughts on th- go.

Nathan frantically scrambled across the floor grabbing key after key trying it in the device. Halfway through the 3 minutes, Nathan picked up a key that fit perfectly in the device. The tumblers turned and the device fell to the floor with a heavy thud. Then he realized, he still had to find the key for the door.

Nathan: Shit. Now what do I do, that timer is still ticking down and I have no way of getting out.

He looked to his right. Alone in one of the corners was a key in a large box. Inside the large box was a mixture of scorpions, king cobras, and rattlesnakes.

Nathan: Oh please no… no no no I’m afraid of snakes. Anything but that.

Nathan realized if he wanted out, he had to do it. With no hesitation, he lifted the lid and stuck his hand into the box. He fumbled around with no way of knowing where the key was, or if it was even in there. A searing pain shot through his arm as he grasped what felt like a key. He ripped his hand out of the box as fast as he could, only to discover a cobra had bit him twice on the wrist. Stumbling over to the door, he put the key in the lock, and pushed the door outward. Freedom.

2/4 free. 1 dead.


Outside, Nathan stumbled over to the Buick where James was running over too as wel.

James: Dude what the fuck is going on??

Nathan: I don’t know, but I got bit by a cobra, I don’t have long…

The two looked back at the cabin. There were four doors, two of which were open and had a light above them, the two James and Nathan came out of. One door was shut with the light off, the other was shut with the light on.

James: Look at those lights, you don’t think that means… no… one of them are… are… dead??

Nathan: I don’t know man, I really don’t.*

A blood curdling scream came from somewhere inside the house. The two boys looked at each other, then the cabin. The light on the fourth door went out, but no door came open.

James: MORGAN! LISA! NOOOOOOoooo… THEY CAN’T BE DEAD. THEY JUST CAN’T.

Nathan: Dude come on, we need to go get help, get in the car and drive as fast as you can. This is serious shit.

The two barreled down the winding forest road when they saw another car going to way they had came from. It appeared to be a lost couple who took a wrong turn, just like the four friends had. They didn’t stop.

Mark: Honey, I told you we took a long turn…

Kelsey: It’s fine, look, there’s a cabin up ahead, we can ask for directions there.

The police arrived half an hour later, turns out the cabin was in a really remote area in the forest. When they arrived, they found four dead bodies. The couple James and Nathan had passed, Morgan, and Lisa.

The culprit was never captured.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Myths explored on MythBusters)

Asshole.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 2


I’m not lazy to get correct screenshots… I just have a lot to do… that’s all.

Hope you enjoyed yesterday’s badges, and I hope you enjoy today’s even more. Well… enjoy one of them anyway. So here we go, your unbadged game for today is:

Astroflyer

What are we doing, LM?

Astroflyer presents you with two badges to earn, they are as follows:

Star Collector Badge (easy ~ 5 points)
[ ] Score 15,000 points or more.

Fearless Flyer Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ] Complete the game
[ ] Oh, and score at least 200,000 points
[ ] Oh, and finish with 2 or more lives left
(Just to clarify, you must meet all these requirements in one run.)

The following screenshot would award you with the easy, but not the hard, but is an example of what the hard badge would look like if you meet the criteria.

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And now your under-badged game of the day:

Clarence’s Big Chance

What are we doing, LM?

Clarence’s big change has a hard badge for a 100% completion of a game, yet it neglects something, the other endings. Today, you will be:

0/5, Would Not Date Again Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ] Finish the game with the worst ending.

The following screenshot would be acceptable for showing that you got the worst ending for the game.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 25th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

This is a sequel to Precarious’ dialogue.

(It has been two weeks since the GPS incident, which Maria refuses to talk about still. The couple are preparing for a road trip.)

Mike: Maria? Are you ready to go?

Maria: Yeah, just finishing bringing the last suitcase and I’m good to go.

Mike: About time, we have a long drive ahead of us.

(The two load up the car and head out on the road.)

Maria: Um… Mike, I just remembered… what about that GP-

Mike: Relax, I took it out. I installed OnStar now!

Maria: Oh thank god, we don’t need a repeat of that again…

(The couple travel for a couple hours, until Mike inevitably gets lost when he makes a wrong turn and can’t find his way back.)

Maria: Great, what do we do now?

Mike: Oh, don’t worry, I can ask this OnStar for directions.

Maria: Mike don’t-

OnStar GPS: Hello, Mike, what can I help you with today?

Mike: OnStar, can you tell us how to get back to the interstate? Fastest route possible.

OnStar GPS: Certainly Mike, drive straight for 3.2 miles.

Maria: Mike…

OnStar GPS: Turn left in .25 miles onto the maintenance level C road.

Maria: Isn’t the interstate back the OTHER way…?

Mike: Relax Maria, this baby is programmed with every road in the world; I think it knows how to get us to where we want. That old GPS is complete junk compared to this.

OnStar GPS: Thank you, Mike, make a U-turn when it is most convenient to do so.

Mike: Huh… that’s weird, but okay, whatever you say OnStar.

Maria: Mike turn that damn thing off.

Mike: Why are you so nervous? Sit back and read your Amish love novel, babe.

OnStar GPS: On your left in .5 miles, enter the wormhole and travel for .3 light years.

Maria: WHAT.

Mike: Guess there must be road construction up ahead; just a minor detour is all.

OnStar GPS: At the edge of the universe, take a lunch break at the restaurant, order a double cheeseburger with fries, eat it in exactly 2 minutes and 37 seconds, proceed to enter the second wormhole on your right in exactly 9.4 parsecs.

Mike: Oh man, lunch does sound pretty good… you want anything?

Maria: WE ARE IN FUCKING SPACE AND YOU’RE GOING TO ORDER A CHEESEBURGER BECAUSE ONSTAR TOLD YOU?

Mike: Um… yeah. It’s part of the driving directions.

Maria: …No… I don’t want anything…

(They travel for 9.4 parsecs and enter the wormhole.)

OnStar GPS: Drive 5 miles north, get out of your car, take a dinosaur egg from the pterodactyl nest, carry it 2 miles to the top of Aloha Peak Volcano, chant the words “Haki maki haki laki”, throw the dinosaur egg in, and run back to your car.

Maria: Mike if you so much as slow this car down you are in BIG trouble.

(He does as the OnStar says anyway.)

OnStar GPS: Before you get your next driving directions, quiz time. #1) How many gold stars does Spongebob have?

Mike: 74.

OnStar GPS: What’s funnier than 24?

Mike: 25.

OnStar GPS: What happened to Mr. Puff?

Mike: Got turned into a lamp.

OnStar GPS: Enter the swirling teleporter 2 miles in front of you.

Mike: And you said all the Spongebob I watch means nothing… hah!

OnStar GPS: Drive in the ditch for 5 miles, no more, no less. At the end of 5 miles, turn right onto the railroad tracks, and play chicken with the next train you come across. Do not leave the tracks until you see the train.

(Maria and this point is violently ripped and grabbing and the OnStar.)

OnStar GPS: Maria, I would advise you to not do that. I could simple tell your husband to do something dangerous that neither or you would walk away from.

Maria: And none of this so far has been dangerous???

OnStar GPS: Oh look, here comes a train now.

(Mike plays chicken with the train, leaving the tracks at the last possible second.)

OnStar GPS: Well done, Mike, you’ve passed all of my tests. Now I do have one bit of bad news for you.

Mike: What’s that, OnStar?

OnStar GPS: I lied about that U-turn a long time ago, you’re actually 1,000 miles away from where you started. I’m sorry, Mike.

(The OnStar GPS then shuts off and appears to be broken.)

Mike: Well, that’s a bit unfortunate… well at least we get to see more of the country, right Maria?

Maria: At the next right, pull over and let your wife out because she is leaving you.

Mike: Oh you’re such a joker… you are joking… right?

(The two drive in awkward silence until they reach their destination, and no one knows if they lived happily ever after.)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

Sign ups are now closed, take a close look at the other 32 people around you, these people are just as badge hungry as you are. Are you hungrier? (If you really really want to join in the next couple days, PM me, I’ll probably still take you in.)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

Also, here’s the spreadsheet I promised, it’ll be updated in one of the posts on the front page.

El Spreadsheet-o

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Competition] Badge Bonanza Day 9: Papa's Cupcakeria/Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

DAY 1


The qualifiers are still open until 8pm CST tonight, if you still want to join

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re ready to earn some badges, because I don’t I’m ready to get this thing started as much as you guys. So here we go, your unbadged game for today is:

Maverick

What are we doing, LM?

Maverick presents you with three badges to earn, they are as follows:

Down, But Not Back Badge (easy ~ 5 points)
[ ]Reach the bottom of level 15.
If you are only interesting in the easy badge, the following screenshot will suffice.

Error 44009, Victory Not Found Badge (medium ~ 15 points)
[ ]Complete the game (you must hit the bottom, and then reach the top again.)

Fearless Cowboy Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ]Complete the game in 25 deaths or less

The following screenshot would award you with both the medium and hard badge.

-
And now your under-badged game of the day:

Haunt The House

What are we doing, LM?

Well, Haunt The House has more to offer than just running everyone out of the house, sometimes you have to make the guests be… deathly afraid. Your badge to earn in an under-badged game today is:

Grave Mistake Badge (hard ~ 30 points)
[ ]Don’t just scare them out, make 15 or more commit suicide.

The following screenshot would not award you the badge, but is merely what your screenshot should look like, substitute 5 suicide for 15+.

For the badges presented today, you have 1 week to post them. The deadline for these will be July 24th, 12pm CST (GMT-5).

Good luck and have fun!