Topic: Off-topic / Things you would never want to have someone say to you

I have to say bravo sir, that is possibly the best “NO U” picture I’ve seen in a while.

Topic: Off-topic / I stink.

Well done Kyru.

Topic: Off-topic / Things you would never want to have someone say to you

Most of these fall under the “Unbelievably stupid, you’re going to die” joke category.

Can’t you people actually come up with something real?

Topic: Off-topic / How to Survive Werewolf Attacks

This thread has degraded into repetition and nonsense. I think it’s time to let it die people.

Topic: Off-topic / I stink.

I wonder how many of you morons can actually tell me who the original quote was first said by, and what it actually means, without looking it up.

Actually, do you even know what the quote he’s mocking originally was?

Topic: Off-topic / I got married this week! (pics)

I’d just like to say that you are a dick. This might be funny to you but that’s because you are a cruel bastard. People are more than just what you see on the surface.

Topic: Off-topic / [Game]RP: The Fall of Magic (Signups Have ended! Story will start 10:00 AM Pacific time!

Do you want me to edit mine as well to fix the balance?

Topic: Off-topic / I got married this week! (pics)

If this isn’t a joke, why is the pic called “WHALEEATING”?

Topic: Off-topic / THE ALLIANCE FOCUSED ON DESTROYING MODS

I think someone is mad because they feel belittled by everyone else’s intelligence.

Fixed.

Topic: Off-topic / [Game]RP: The Fall of Magic (Signups Have ended! Story will start 10:00 AM Pacific time!

Bublewink, that rant was high-5-worthy. Seriously, well done.

I think that there are too many magic users as well… I could do my character as a human, but he’d have to be cybernetically enhanced to give him his abilities. Would that be ok? I mean, it wouldn’t be too hard, since that was my original idea, which I changed because I thought there would be no human spaces left.

Topic: Off-topic / Am I Dieing?

Hell… I know everyone has rights and all that, but why are people allowed to talk such crap all the time?

Topic: Off-topic / What are YOU thankful for?

This sort of topic is the reason I normally stay away from Off-Topic.

But to bring some intelligence back into the conversation…

I’m thankful that I’m not as stupid as most ignorant fools that I meet every day. Also, I’m thankful that I live in the UK, where I can have some semblance of freedom, where I can live my life properly with enough food to keep me going. As well as that, I’m thankful that there are some decent people in the world, even if they may be so few and far between that the Internet is the only way they can meet.

Topic: Off-topic / [Game]RP: The Fall of Magic (Signups Have ended! Story will start 10:00 AM Pacific time!

Bio done. Please tell me about any improvements you think I need.

Topic: Off-topic / [Game]RP: The Fall of Magic (Signups Have ended! Story will start 10:00 AM Pacific time!

RM, do you always have to do that? It’s pretty much the same bio that you’ve used in every other roleplay ever. And that bio is just a little too long, to be honest.

Also:

Kingzak13:

name: mr person man
That’s not a freaking name. Seriously, if you can’t think of a name use a random name generator, and if you’re going to just have your guy called “A. Person”, at least do it properly. Or use the words from another language, so it isn’t quite as blatant.

gender: a guy
Ok, I’ll give you that. That is an actual answer, but it should be simply “Male” or “Female”, especially since “guy” can be used rather ambiguously.

specality: ultimate penguin ninja
Lolwut.

age: 457562425614
So, you’re a corpse then? Penguins aren’t known for their long lives.

height: really tall
Really tall by what standards? Really tall for a penguin? Really tall for a ninja? Really tall for a decomposed mass?

weight: a lot
Read the above, then think a little bit. I’m sure you’ll get what I mean in the end.

species: man penguin
Okay, I suppose that could be considered. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being a genetic experiment…
Wait, Ash is ranting at me. Apparently he can’t be a genetic experiment…

“you MUST be HUMAN” – From the first post.

That means neither can you. Sorry, but it’s only fair.

hair colour: none
I see, you have no hair. So it’s not applicable. That works.

eye colour: green
A penguin with green eyes? Interesting.

skin: it looks like a penguin
Sorry, no. You have to be human.

armor: ninja t-shirt
Just a t-shirt? Seriously? You WILL get shredded. T-shirts aren’t known for their impenetrability, and neither is penguin skin.

weapons: samuria sword
Samurai sword? Which one? I’ll assume you mean a katana, but you could just as easily mean a wakazashi, odashi, or any other blade Samurai used. They weren’t restricted to one weapon, you know.
a ak47
Sorry, what? If you have an AK, when are you going to use the sword, and visa versa? I can understand if it was a one-handed weapon…

items: sunglasses, beer, a jetpack and a hooker
Again, what teh hell? Especially since a hooker isn’t even an item. People are not items.

Ok, done ranting. Bio time.

NAME: Kai

GENDER: Male

SPECIALTY: Unarmed combat, magical augmentation.

___________________________________________

AGE: 30

HEIGHT: 6’ 3"

WEIGHT: Light

SPECIES: Manbearpig

HAIR: Shoulder length, varies with mood, typically a dark red/brown.

EYE COLOUR: Varies, typically light blue.

SKIN TONE: Pale.

___________________________________________

CLOTHING: Long dark hooded robe, metal gauntlets embedded with precious stones and runes, allowing him to store energy inside.

MAGIC SUMMARY: His magic augments him to perform far beyond human limits. Can also augment others, but not to nearly the same extent.

___________________________________________

BACKGROUND:His childhood consisted of little more than constant practice in various forms of magic, but he showed particular finesse with augmentation, which his father pressured him to practice to the extent of madness, prohibiting him from properly learning other magic. After training for a lifetime with his father, he has mastered unspoken magic. This allows him to silently cast spells instantly, free of the problems this brings.

As well as magic, he has also trained long and hard in various martial arts and forms of combat, making him a dangerous foe to come face-to-face with. This, coupled with his magical strength, reactions and speed, allow him to decimate an opponent with little force.

This training has not just made him powerful, it has also forced him to become sullen and serious in all things. As such, he is not someone to joke with. He has little sense of humour.

However, he is merciful and caring, and does not always deal with problems using violence. As his father knew, only the most intelligent can become powerful sorcerers, so he taught his son (or paid people to) in the arts of philosophy, mathematics, sciences, astrology, languages and various others that he deemed helpful. He can outwit most, if not all, scientists, mathematicians and the like.

That is all.

Yes, I know it’s long and detailed, and it makes him seem overly powerful, but to give a good character you need a good description. And I know that if you expanded your biographies to the same level as mine, they’d be insanely powerful, filled with the combats you’ve won and the gore and slaughter you have lived through.

Topic: Serious Discussion / God vs. Satan

In the famous words of Epicurus…

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Topic: Serious Discussion / Islamist TV show

It’s not much different to the “Christian” shows already mentioned.

I first found these on Cracked… pure genius.

Topic: Serious Discussion / God vs. Satan

I’m quite tempted to write a massive post inverting the typical idea that God is good and Satan is bad. It’s a very interesting idea that manifests itself in many ways. Sadly, it’s not really that relevant as this is a “God vs. Satan” thread, implying that the two would meet. and fight, and that one would be superior. Some ideas don’t even consider “God” and “Satan” as actual entities.

Topic: Off-topic / [closed] Scenes We'd Like To See.

Sorry about that. Glitch is just impatient. Remember guys, be nice. Crossing the line will result in a warning, and if it happens again you are blacklisted from the game and may even be banned if it’s offensive enough!

Anyway, it’s time for the first sentence. Let’s start with one of my favourites from the original show…

Unlikely Lines To Find In The Bible.

To start you off, here are a few from that episode.

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth… this is the weirdest car-boot sale I’ve ever been to.”

“He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!”

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

Topic: Off-topic / barack obama anagram

Palinism: mistake made by Sarah Palin, such as stating that the vice president’s constitutional role is to preside over the senate, and (if they want to) get in there with the senate and make some real good policy changes.

You clearly mean a Bushism.

And OP, learn to spell Iraq correctly.

Topic: Off-topic / Lets talk about WW2 guns!

I think blades look better, are more artistic and skillful, etc…

Guns are boring. Unless it’s a gun that shoots swords.

Topic: Serious Discussion / Can Someone Please Explain American Politics?

I wish it would work. It seems that governments are getting too supportive of the state, ignoring the needs of society.

Topic: Off-topic / Dammit...

If you’ve ever met me at all on this site, you’ll know I am a massive caffiene addict.

This is what made me want to work in a coffeeshop. I was there for three months.

NEVER AGAIN.

Topic: Serious Discussion / Death of a Pet

I thought this was very appropriate… I didn’t truly understand how bad it would feel to lose my dog (who is now 16, and probably won’t last much longer) until I read these two letters.

Letter To A Dead Dog

The first one, so serene and calm, and then… well, the second one completely shocked me. I almost cried, over a dog I don’t even know that belonged to a person I never met.

Anyone who doesn’t understand, enjoy.

Topic: Serious Discussion / Whats Obama thinking RIGHT now?

And Guy_In_Armor wins.

Topic: Serious Discussion / We are screwed

This argument has just been bouncing around on the same few points. Please, use your intelligence.

To be honest, I could rant about most of these six pages, but there really is no need. Nothing really needs to be said.