Recent posts by Pykrete on Kongregate

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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

I seriously doubt Inferno Legends got 5000 legit votes for its rating. It’s so comically broken and unstable I’m not sure I’d give the benefit of the doubt that 5000 people were able to even play the game at all.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

I feel like I’d enjoy this new bullet hell if it didn’t leak memory like a bloody cheese grater. It becomes so laggy and drops so many inputs after just a few minutes it becomes completely unplayable.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

I can’t really say anything about Battalion Commander 2 on account of it freezing my browser before ever getting past the preloader.

Although in a way, that is in itself something to say about it.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

My opinions on tower defense have been made known before.

That said, we all understand holiday and real life complications (at least, I hope we do >_>), so no hard feelings on that.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Okay, apparently Everloom just doesn’t play nice with Chrome. It no longer lags to high heaven on other browsers.

And yeah, Snail Bob is kinda stale but it’s still better than (insert grindy cashgrab MMO or CCG here).

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

I can’t even comment on Everloom beyond it being unplayably laggy.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Yeah, I mean the badge itself doesn’t seem as outwardly sadistic and grindy as some of the MMO badges in the past. Just the game is terrible enough that I can’t justify bothering.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

I don’t even play actual Yugioh, and even I can tell this game is Yugioh minus everything that made it interesting or remotely deep. Terrible game.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Is anyone else fed with with how pathetic Kong has become?

Originally posted by adv0catus:

This thread isn’t about your game.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Note to all developers who use Pay 2 Win.

Originally posted by delosford:

So why don’t you work in game development?

Oh, right, because the hours are long and the pay is crap.

Actually, I did for quite a while. I can say from personal experience that the complexity of a standard cashgrab MMO is the sort of thing I did in my first few months of internship hooking up menu screens and scripting, that there’s no excuse for the kind of piss-poor optimization going on in the genre on a regular basis (seriously guys, even Flash has a cache. effing use it), and that we actually have to take a class that outlines in exhaustive detail entire pages describing why most of them have terrible cluttered UI’s.

The pay wasn’t spectacular, but it was okay. Enough to live on, which is more than most of the jobs out there.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Note to all developers who use Pay 2 Win.

^ Go ahead and add “costs more for minor upgrades than entire professionally-developed games”. I paid $5 for a Steam bundle last week, and am immensely enjoying all four (full-length) games therein.

Originally posted by delosford:

But nah, gotta bitch about that P2W. Drive away all the developers, yeah, that’ll show ‘em! Programmers don’t deserve to get paid!

Speaking as a career programmer, I’m personally insulted by your claim that we can’t get paid unless we put out inexcusably awful skinbox crap that grubs money from kids with daddy’s credit card and no sense of how much things cost, and I’d much rather you didn’t try to use my paycheck to justify a poisonous business model.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Why is Kong shutting down popular multiplayer game?

As many things as I’m willing to blame Kong for regarding MMOs, this isn’t one of them. Most of the ones removed from Kong shut down on their own because it’s not making them money anymore compared to maintenance costs (or in the case of Outernauts, changing to a bigger platform and not keeping it backward compatible so they can scam existing users out of more money with new accounts).

But really, Kong just doesn’t have a motive to remove their dirt-cheap mirror of a remotely hosted game. As long as it’s bringing in any purchases at all, they get a cut of it. Pretty much the only reason they’d have to pull a game is stuff like Caesary’s legal issues.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Yeah I didn’t even have the patience to sit around for the Medium badge after the fifth time my defender wandered off to the far left of the screen to piss in a corner while the rest of his team got sodomized. Also WAY too many server calls for things that don’t need them — it’s okay to let the application cache your heroes’ stats so you don’t have to sit there like an idiot for a minute waiting for stuff to load just to apply a few (laughably meager) level-up bonuses.

It’s one of the “best MMOs badged” by sheer virtue of most of them being borderline unplayable at all. It’s still inexcusably bad.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Is anyone else fed with with how pathetic Kong has become?

It’s limiting insofar as it’s a terrible platform, but there’s a lot to be said for doing a lot with very little. Almost none of the high-rated legends of Flash are graphically intensive — they’re just designed in a way that’s actually fun to play. This is a serious problem not only for Flash, but for AAA console/PC titles. So much development time gets spent making things visually absurd, often in a way that precludes a good chunk of your userbase from ever being able to play it for the next 8 years, but rather little can be spared for tuning the game itself or adding much variety.

That said, while there has been a stunting of decent Flash games of late, it’s a) overstated and b) often exacerbated by executive preference (see Kong’s presentation on maximizing pay to win profits made by its cofounder).

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Heroes of the Realm is trash. About the only positive thing I have to say about it is that it only took one ctrl-minus to fit their window in my browser.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Is anyone else fed with with how pathetic Kong has become?

I’m pretty sure the site’s gradual descent into suck has less to do with admins lurking forums less, and more to do with garbage like this.

http://developers.kongregate.com/blog/maximizing-monetization-casual-connect-sf-2013

Summary: some basic inoffensive Economics 101, followed by explicitly encouraging Pay To Win and luck-based purchases.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Kong is going to shut down Outernauts :'<<<<

Hey look, another reason to despise freemium MMOs. “Hey, we’re taking it off that platform and putting it on another one, but only offering a ‘rewards structure’ to current users instead of just taking two days to write an account converter so you can keep the stuff you paid for.”

Dammit Insomniac, you’re better than that.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Tips on how to get fans

I find I get most of my fans by playing terrible MMOs long enough to rate them and have an account sitting around forever hence on their “spam people obnoxiously for some breadcrumbs!” screen.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Easy, but nice. I would’ve placed it as a medium, but I’m enough of a puzzle geek to breeze through it.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Leveling

Originally posted by bobby71983:
Originally posted by AEBEATIAxSOOKIES:

I am yet to see any evidence of this cake.

Secret cake oath. They are not allowed to reveal the details.

I don’t remember taking this oath.

Seriously though, it’s just a picture of a cake replacing your progress to next level.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / KONG HAS BETRAYED US

I’m not gonna complain about the chance to ebay $500 of creepy datamining-by-surveillance in return for something I actually want, no.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / New badge discussion

Probably a good thing. The challenge levels were really, really unbalanced after like the second one.

Liked the rest of the game though. I usually can’t stand defense, but this was an exception.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / KONG HAS BETRAYED US

Eh. If I won one I’d go on Craigslist or Ebay to trade for a PS4. Hell I’d even be happier with a WiiU than an Xbone.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Kongregate cannot be taken seriously anymore, where is it going?

It’s true.

It looks like “My Dong”. :(

seriously how did nobody think of this when it was proposed

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Kongregate cannot be taken seriously anymore, where is it going?

Originally posted by AEBEATIAxSOOKIES:

We also need some use for the levels. On Newgrounds levels give you voting power. Why have we not go something like this. I’d level up if I knew that I could be a strong voter and vote up what I like and vote down what I don’t like. Or at least give us an unlockable boarder or something cosmetic. Armor Games, even freaking Ninjakiwi does that.

Spoilers: the reward for hitting 65 is a 50×50 jpeg of a cake. This is the only reward you get at any point in the level process. But that’s not really the problem. Most of the problem just comes down to Gamestop. The place went pretty quickly to MMO-ville when they got their hands in the pockets.

I came here a few years ago from Newgrounds because Kong did a better job of vetting garbage and directing you to good games (mostly through badges). Lately I’ve been going back to Newgrounds because Kong has basically turned into a hosting and advertising platform for Zynga-style garbage. I mean, Newgrounds hosts those things too, but not at the expense of everything else’s visibility on the site.

The one thing that Kong’s staff (and owners) needs to realize about what they’re doing is that they’re very, very replaceable and with a very few exceptions — mostly mediocre Nerdook stuff — their service is the only thing they have to offer that other hosting sites don’t.