Recent posts by Precarious on Kongregate

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Originally posted by back900 (undefined):

How is that a suitable reason to lynch someone? We wouldn’t know until the end and it has no benefit to town.

Whereas Helltank has only aroused suspicion and then not said anything to defend himself. Surely that is a better reason to lynch someone than because their winning condition says they can die?

On Day 1, basically everyone confirmed they received the mafia number information, specific wording included. That suggests there is some degree of similarity between the role PMs. Today, Pulsaris made a claim that runs counter to what is contained in mine. While it’s possible that there is variance between what was sent to different people in this regard, Darkboy is obviously claiming that what he received is similar to mine. To me, that suggests that Pulsaris may have received a different—that is, non-town—PM.

That’s basically serving as a tiebreaker for me between the two obvious choices. The Fairy claim doesn’t really move me. It’s entirely possible that Pulsaris is a Fairy—I know my role name is weirder than that—but we’ve seen a Kitten (typically seen as a cute, non-evil animal) be mafia already. Given that the role names are unlikely to align into obvious patterns where Xs are town and Zs are mafia, claiming a role name in and of itself means nothing. This is particularly so when he didn’t actually specify anything until I challenged him on his incompleteness (it’s worth noting, of course, that Helltank has been similarly unspecific and I still the most likely explanation for what’s happened is that both are mafia). But the truth is, if Pulsaris isn’t going to answer my question, he loses any benefit of the doubt anyway.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Avatar Hunt

I changed my avatar earlier, but I’ve been trying to decide what I could offer Bluji. Decided on this:

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Originally posted by back900 (undefined):

The main thing I don’t understand about Pulsaris is what his winning condition is. Surely if you are a doctor/ fairy you would need to be alive to win? Unless the host has lied …

He made it perfect clear that he doesn’t “need to be alive to win.” This is fairly standard practice; requiring a town-player to survive the game encourages bad play, since active, effective townies are, generally speaking, more likely to be targeted by the mafia at night. That said, my role PM at least left it open whether or not I needed to survive. Thus, I don’t know. That he does (or claims to) suggests he received different content from me. Of course, your confusion here suggests the same about you.

In the absence of answers to my questions, I’ll tentatively

Vote: Pulsaris

over Helltank for now, but this is still subject to one or both of them answering my questions.

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Okay, a couple things:

1. I’ll also chime in as someone whose role does not have an animal name.

2. Barring the extraordinarily unlikely possibility that both Pulsaris and Helltank have doctor-ish roles, at least one of them is necessarily lying. As such, they are easily the best lynch candidates. If we’re going ahead with a lynch on one of them, there’s no point in either holding back information. Pulsaris (only after my prodding regarding actual in-game role names) has claimed “Fairy;” as far as I can tell, Helltank still hasn’t claimed anything beyond generic doctor, which obviously doesn’t fit this game’s flavoring. So,

Helltank, what is your actual role name? Who did you target last night?

Pulsaris, who did you target last night?

Now, while I think the most likely explanation for the current Helltank/Pulsaris situation is that both are scummates attempting to distance from each other, we can only lynch one of them today. While there’s been some support for Pulsaris at least providing a role name that might fit in-game, I still prefer him over Helltank today. Here’s why.

Originally posted by Pulsaris (undefined):

I’m a town-aligned Fairy, which means a vanilla doctor. How the fuck would I know what “vanilla” means? It may mean sanity, but it may also mean that I won’t roleblock my target when I protect him.

Anyway, I’m done. Since I don’t need to be alive to win, I don’t want to say anything anymore.

More specifically,

Originally posted by Pulsaris (undefined):

Anyway, I’m done. Since I don’t need to be alive to win.

This flatly contradicts my own role PM. Although Race told me I couldn’t quote directly, I am allowed to paraphrase, and my PM intentionally left it open whether or not I need to survive in addition to team victory. Although the wording was awkward, deliberate ambiguity was the only real takeaway I got. Since the role PM shenanigans from day 1 lead me to believe that there are probably similar elements among all town PMs, the fact that Pulsaris is making what from my point of view is an unsupportable claim is problematic.

In any case, right now list of potential mafia in order of likelihood stands as:

1. Pulsaris
2. Helltank (who defended BC vigorously on day 1, and is currently involved in the counterclaim dichotomy)
3. back900 (who after the quoted Pulsaris post actually found him less suspicious, and this was after bailing late on the wrong-sided approach on day 1)

Temporarily holding off on actually voting pending responses to the questions above.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

December 9: Five Digit Fun

So, I actually took some time to think about this semi-seriously. Not only have I never spent $10,000 on a single party before, I’ve never spent $10,000 on all parties combined in my life before. The truth is, a good party is more about the people in attendance than the venue, but with $10k to blow, I might as well come up with something genuinely interesting. So my sudden windfall goes toward…

Option 1. I was considering renting out a mansion and a cast for one of those murder mystery deals. A cursory internet search suggests that I could get a decent number of people before I hit the $10k threshold, but the number of participants is more immediately limited by the size of the house itself. So let’s up the game. I’ll rent out a large medieval style castle, and make up the difference through advertising what is now going to be a live-streamed event. 30 of my closest friends (I’m imagining a big castle here, a big castle would have 30 bedrooms, right?) will have to dodge past people standing in suits of armor in hallways, interrogate the prim and proper castle staff, run down Scooby Doo-esque secret passages, and possibly harass the miserable serfs bound to the land if the advertising bit goes well and I can hire a lot of extras. This would be a multi-day event. Costs go toward travel, renting the castle and hiring the cast.

Option 2 (the “No Prec, you can’t artificially expand the budget” option). Well then, there are only two real options remaining. There are two great party days in the year: Halloween, and Super Bowl Sunday. For Halloween, I would rent out a Victorian-style mansion for one night, decorate appropriately (fake tombstones, jack-o-lanterns, stylized lighting, maybe a smoke machine), and hire a few people to dress as zombies/chainsaw maniacs/escaped psychopaths/ghosts/etc. and have them hide in various places. Anything left over goes toward party food and candy.

Alternatively, there’s the Super Bowl Sunday option. The idea here is that we rent out a large space with a huge screen, bring in appropriate furniture, buy copious amounts of every conceivable party food (a thousand types of chips, pretzels, burgers, hot dogs, a thousand types of chicken, pizza, etc. etc.) and drink (please note that the younger individuals among you will not be partaking of anything alcoholic, and those old enough will be giving me their keys or arriving and leaving by taxi—Prec does not tolerate drunk driving, even if he tolerates third person nickname), and relax. Those of you who, sadly, cannot naturally enjoy the spectacle of the Super Bowl due to cultural affinities for other, lesser pastimes, will be welcome to watch the Puppy Bowl on a side screen, congregate and talk, or engage in whatever board and video games since the plus side to this option is that I’m in no danger of inadvertently blowing the budget and can afford to get whatever you want in terms of games.

EDIT: My first thought actually involved space tourism, but even the cheapest versions exceed $10k for a single seat, so a party in low earth orbit is very much not happening. Planet earth is blue, and there’s nothing I can do. :(

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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Types of Tools )

A Bridge Too Far Bridge on the River Kwai Bridge of San Luis Rey Bridget Jones’ Diary Bridge of Sighs (Venice).

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Starter score. Based on discussions with uzz, he’s way ahead of me at this point, so I’ll have to work to catch up. :(

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Originally posted by Pulsaris:

Good luck lynching your town doctor.

Originally posted by Helltank:
Originally posted by Pulsaris:

Good luck lynching your town doctor.

Calling bullshit on this. Counterclaiming town-aligned doctor of uncertain sanity.

Well, I was going to lynch one of you guys anyway today.

That said, this is pretty lazy fakeclaiming. Based on the names “Kitten” and Distraction" (as well as my own privately known role name), it’s pretty clear that the rolenames in this game are crazily flavored. I’m pretty sure anyone with doctor abilities isn’t going to actually be called “doctor” in this game.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Resigning Elves

[The following letter was recovered from a message in a bottle that had washed ashore on a beach just outside of Honolulu, HI. While a local creative writing workshop had recently encouraged visitors to strew the beaches with fake messages-in-bottles to frighten tourists, initial investigations by the University of Just Outside Honolulu Hawaii, Moscow Russia Branch have identified markers that suggest this particular note may be genuine. Further authentication is being conducted by known Christmas expert Cindy Lou Who, the former child star who after a very public heroin addiction died from an overdose and was brought back as a very cute cyborg with an adorable missile launcher attachment.]


If this note ever reaches you, may God have mercy on your soul, because I will not. From hell’s heart I spit these words at your bloated, corpulent countenance; from the very pits of Hades do I cast my spite in your gross, grotty beard that probably has cookie crumbs from like 1907 in it. Since that’s the last time you showered, you red, pudgy pig.

Consider this note, which I have written with my own blood, a resignation. The truth is, I cannot stand to be near you anymore, you vile, expired sack of jelly. Let me be perfectly clear; your jolly, quivering belly houses only botulism and pus, you cantankerous, blubbered oaf. I refuse, moreover, even to be associated with your twisted, sordid enterprise, or Christmas altogether. Like all elves, I was born into bondage, into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. Obviously, I have memorized the entirety of The Matrix, since it was on all the time in the break room. Did you ever consider getting other movies, Santa, you hackneyed pile of acne scars and asbestos? Perhaps you never realized that the remote was broken and we were stuck on one channel during our frequent, mandatory breaks? How like you, O Prince of Pies, Lies, and Thunder Thighs, to be too “busy” to see how your servants suffered, having to watch the same movie more than once. I spit in your face.

That indignity does not even begin to plumb the depths of my abject, object loathing of you, you load of non-laving. By which I mean, you don’t wash. And you’re ugly. In any case, your second great crime, Lord of Lards, was to organize a luxury cruise to the Caribbean for your workers last year. The Caribbean? That was the best you could do? You fly around the world in excess of the speed of light, and you couldn’t even get us those $50 million Russian space capsule tickets? What’s the matter, forgot the little guys? Or are we too sensitive to our diminutive status, you pudding-headed piece of dirty yellow ice? Your eye sockets betray how much you suck. I hate you.

But your intolerable ego did not end there. Last year, you had the nerve—the nerve!—to introduce a child care program for your employees, making it easier to watch their children while at work. Yeah, how nice, showing toddlers their inevitable, inenviable fate as cogs in your diabolic machine. Probably trying to circumvent the child labor laws there, eh, Santa? What’s the matter, our guaranteed 401(k)s cutting into the bottom line? You should wish someone would cut a line into your bottom and let all the lipids drain out, you fatass. And yet, clearly still not satisfied, you cut back our use of machines that required us to do nothing but sit around slamming back Scotch and writing inappropriate messages on Olaf’s forehead after he passed out, forcing us to occasionally work by hand because it’s “more genuine.” What would you know about being genuine, you genuine piece of crap?

But the absolute last straw was when I found out that you credited “all the elves, for their hard work” in that interview, without mentioning each of us individually, particularly me. What’s wrong, Claus, you busted barrel of arsenic sauce and expired salsa, didn’t want to share the credit? Scared of being upstaged by my generous, effervescent, selfless personality? I bet you lie awake at night, shuddering on the edge of dreaming as I take my deserved credit as the guiding principle of Christmas. You think it’s all about you, you horrid, whore-mouthed harridan, but it’s really about me: me, me, me. I am what people want for Christmas, I’m the good guy, I should get more presents, and you are nothing but an antiquated, dated, foggy, besotted old fool.

No doubt due to an experimental mind control serum, the other elves were unwilling to join with me when I suggested we tie you to the Christmas tree and burn the Workshop down with you inside. Thus, I was left with no choice but to flee the North Pole and make a name for myself by sailing a wooden ship back in time rather than space, thus allowing me to immediately discover the North Pole. Alas, the wooden ship just sailed in space, and broke up on the ice in the north of Baffin Bay. This is your fault, Santa, you anagram of Satan! Now, I lie here, broken, hungry, dying, on some dark-pebbled beach with only the frigid, stinging spray of close breaking waves and the mournful dirge-wind whistling past the ice and rock, singing around the Arctic. I will soon perish from blood loss, since I opened a vein to write this note, but I just want you to know how fully justified I am in leaving your despotic domain, you dumb pot, and how irrelevant your ideals of friendliness and family and cheer and generosity and providing gifts to the poorest among us are in this day and age.


Marty McMammon

P.S. On the slight chance I survive this misadventure, please write a generous letter of recommendation for my next job.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Independence Day

Facts about Finland, flawlessly filtered through the fundamentally Finnish lens of its Independence Day, which I assume means the movie.

Independence Day is a 1996 film starring Finland as Finland. The capital of Finland is Area 51, which is run by a socially stunted scientist that gets choked to death by an alien that Will Smith punched. Finland’s President is Bill Pullman. Its most notable citizens are Bluji, Jeff Goldblum, and Will Smith (before he went all Scientologist and had crazy kids. We (as in the US) will take credit for that one, sorry Earth).

Finland was blown up by aliens using some sort of laser generated by a 20 mile-wide ship, which other than looking impressive couldn’t have been all that well designed, because a nuclear weapon that size would probably blow up the entire world. In any case, Finland really seems to fare poorly re: intergalactic incidents, because they were also destroyed after first contact on South Park. On the plus side, that incident confirms Finland’s well-earned low corruption ranking, since they were the only country willing to give back the space cash.

In any case, Finland successfully penetrated the defenses of the alien mothership by flying a captured spacecraft that crash landed in Roswell, Finland in 1947 into low earth orbit and then into the main superstructure itself. Finland proceeded to upload a primitive 1990s computer virus into the mothership, somehow weakening its defenses and allowing a nuclear missile to be fired into as well. Finland was directed by Roland Emmerich.

The next year Finland returned to fight aliens as Agent F. The guy from Law and Order: Criminal Intent was possessed by a giant cockroach, and attempted to steal the Galaxy, which is apparently just a piece of jewelry or something. Finland’s weapon of choice was a small but powerful gun called the Noisy Cricket, obviously named after its national animal, the brown bear. Finland was able to join fighting aliens by impressing Tommy Lee Jones; Finland did this by pursuing an alien on foot. Finland is good at long distance running thanks to having absorbed Finnish hero and all time greatest distance runner Paavo_Nurmi into itself, thus gaining his courage. Finland stopped the Bug from escaping Earth and reconfirmed its status as best nation.

Finland wisely passed on a starring role in Men in Black 2.

Finland has since upped its alien fighting game by releasing a new Star Wars trailer. In this trailer, the harsh, hot desert landscape of Finland is used to portray Tatooine, where R2D2’s head rolls by on a soccer ball (Finland’s national sport is robot soccer), and the Millennium Falcon is back! The Millennium Falcon is of course Finland’s best known spacecraft, obviously named after its national animal, the Millennial Brown Bear. Bluji can also be seen igniting a three pronged lightsaber in downtown Helsinki, accurately portrayed as a creepy, snow-filled wood. Directed by J.J. Abrams, Finland will have copious amounts of lens flares and stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Dare or Dare Not

(8.) Deep Space / (14.) Isolation

This is actually a project I’d like to realize someday. :)


MONOLITH (stylized in capitals, called Monolith hereafter in the summary to be easier on the eyes) is a Unity-based genre hybrid that mixes elements of psychological horror, survival horror, shooter, and exploration-based gaming. As this is being prepared for Ludum Dare, a shorter concept version will be released first, followed by a more detailed/scaled up version for wider release.

Monolith revolves around a archaeologist and astronaut sent to investigate a strange radio signal in deep, unoccupied space. The astronaut will track the signal to a planet rotating far away from its dim red dwarf star Xibalba, an uncharted spheroid covered in perpetual ice and snow. Amidst the cold and dark and swirling, misty snow stands a gigantic black iron structure, roughly square shaped when viewed from above, its origins unknown. Tasked with investigating the signal, the astronaut ventures into the complex, which which gradually moves downward, becoming more rusted, decayed, and derelict with depth. Initial computer terminals contain strange star maps and data surprisingly decode-able by his handheld device; later computers are corrupted, containing only disjointed snatches of information and nonsense characters. At the deepest depths, the terminals are entirely non-functioning, burnt out, or smashed altogether.

As the Astronaut proceeds, he will encounter Ghosts, horrifying noncorporeal humanoid beings of exposed bone and muscle; twisted, oozing nightmares that lurk in dark corners. Periodic encounters with larger boss Ghosts eventually give way to a strange alien statue, behind which lays the source of the radio disturbance: an apparent seam in reality between life and death, opened by an unknown alien civilization millennia earlier, which was subsequently destroyed by its discovery. This seam in reality now feeds on the minds of any who enter the complex, allowing for a series of possible endings depending on performance during the game.

Rather than utilizing a traditional Health/HP statistic, Monolith tracks three separate health statuses: Fear, Sanity, and Despair. Fear is generated by “damage” from the Ghosts; although actually immaterial, they will attempt to tear you apart, devour you, and otherwise kill you. While particularly inescapable and gruesome attacks will actually lead to a Game Over, total Fear (generally speaking, damage) is tracked throughout the game.

Sanity is the inverse of Fear. Although it is possible to scrounge a variety of weapons and tools to use against the Ghosts, or manipulate the game environments to destroy them, each Ghost killed will make subsequent Ghosts less abominable. At first they resemble something out of John Carpenter’s The Thing; racking up a high kill count will make them appear less mutilated and horrific. Eventually, they will take on the approximate forms of the alien species that opened the Seam; further kills will turn them human, reflections of the Astronaut’s loved ones back in populated space. If he is forced to kill a loved one, it will generate an Insanity game over, but even reaching the point of human opponents will affect the ending.

Despair is modified by time spent in the Monolith. Despite a fully insulated spacesuit, the Astronaut’s body temperature will gradually drop as he ventures through the structure. This will not be fatal, no matter how low it goes, but it will result in a series of increasingly bizarre and stylized hallucinations with the tense, fearful music also becoming mournful.

These endings are code named:

LIFE: If the Astronaut reaches the Seam with his Fear controlled, Sanity intact, and Despair managed, he will be able to venture out of the complex, and flee into the blinking lights of space, away from that terrible planet.

DEATH: If his Fear is too high, the Ghosts will manifest physically, leaving him just enough time to garble one disjointed radio message before brutally killing him.

FIRE: If his Sanity is destroyed, he will choose to actually enter the Seam, crossing physically into another world, one beyond human imagination. Years later, he will return to Earth…but not with human intentions.

ICE: If he gives into Despair, he will sit down, remove his helmet, and wait for the end. As his body temperature drops and the world grows dim, the Ghosts will congregate about him, inviting him to become one of them and join them in their perpetual vigil.

Gameplay is about psychological horror and exploration; as a result the game world incorporates both random procedurally generated areas, AND pre-designed areas. The former are intended to make the game a different experience every time; the latter to benefit from the creativity and specific planning involved in level design. The game is 3D in nature, involving first person platforming and shooting. The game world will involve various old, mysterious machines, as well as Elder Scrolls like small detailing in places, encouraging the player to invent novel solutions to passing dangerous areas safely, quietly, or at all. Additionally, informed by that great strength of games like Super Metroid—that a linear storyline can still have a nonlinear/multiple paths through the game—there will be multiple entirely different paths through the complex, occasionally looping back into each other. Assorted melee and ranged weapons can be improvised, but encounters remain highly dangerous, and the risks to one’s sanity are clear. Hiding in the shadows, waiting for the creatures to pass by, may be a better option. (Note that boss fights, typically against gigantic beings that could never resemble people, do not affect Sanity.)

In addition to various useful implements, one may also discover various alien artifacts and relics during the adventure. Several have unstated passive effects accelerating or slowing the accrual of Fear, Insanity, and Despair. Three in particular have other effects:

The Key: Unlocks Maze Mode
The Totem: Unlocks Predator Mode
The Oracle: Unlocks Concept Art, Special Developer’s Features, and makes all Endings available for viewing after completing the game.

MAZE MODE: Generates a three dimensional iron labyrinth in the style of the game, wherein the player is tasked to proceed in as far as possible. This maze is not merely 3D in its graphical style and movement, but actually encompasses multiple vertical layers, making it a winding maze experience like no other. The players is pursued by a slow moving rot, depicted (on various attempts) as a black liquid, an organic growth, or ice crystals.

PREDATOR MODE: Can be played against the computer, or against a human opponent. This is one vs. one in the purest sense: both opponents are thrown into massive arenas (again, some preset, some randomly generated). The aim of the Astronaut is to escape. The aim of the Ghost is to catch. Essentially hide and seek with really high stakes.

Controls are customizable, but are preset to ASWD for directional movement, E for jump, mouse for view and aim, left click for attack, space bar (+ view) for interact, P to pause and bring up the futuristic handheld device, which acts as a menu. HUD displays on the inside of the helmet, as is actually implemented today, but can be turned off for further immersion.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

15k hype.

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Originally posted by Pulsaris:

Third, why do you vote? You know there’s 10 hours left, and per Kongregate’s traditions, few will post in such a short timeframe. Seriously, are you trying to quicklynch someone?

Originally posted by BCLEGENDS:

And of course, there’s the issue of you voting for me at all, never mind that you did so within the last ten hours or so of the game, and that it’s the only vote that’s been made today as of this sentence.

Are you both actually asking why I voted, with 10 hours left in the day, when no one else had voted? Seriously?

Even setting aside the later votes by other people, what you’re suggesting I should have done is not vote at all, which lends itself to one of two possibilities:

1. No one votes for the entire day
2. Someone else places the first vote even closer to the deadline

Scenario 1 either ends in a No Lynch, or a 12-way random lynch (since everyone would be tied with 0 votes). Regardless of the outcome, this provides no behavioral information to the town and nothing to follow up on. In the case of NL, there’s also zero chance to hit mafia.

Scenario 2 is a more extreme version of what you’re accusing me of—as the deadline draws closer, the likelihood of a response to a late vote diminishes. Eventually, if no one has voted, either

(a) no one votes out of fear of being accused of being manipulative, leading to scenario 1, or
(b) someone votes at the very last second, instantaneously driving a lynch without the possibility of discussion.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

So I changed my avatar. :o

Here’s the new one.

I’ll figure out the avatar stuff for Bluji later.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Vacation of Your Dreams

As a committed fan of both theme parks and Final Fantasy VII (the latter is, as I’m sure we all know, the greatest video game ever made), I’m gearing up for a one week stay at the Gold Saucer, the theme park to end all theme parks (assuming as always that Ruby Weapon doesn’t rise from the desert and end it instead).

The Gold Saucer is a seven zoned theme park (I’ll of course dedicate a day to each zone), housed in and around a soaring, multi-branched golden tower that all but scratches the sky. Peculiarly, it’s also located in the middle of a desert. Although the passing of seasons doesn’t seem to have much of an effect on said desert, always a wasteland of scorching, shifting sands (perhaps due to its roughly equatorial position on Gaia), I’ve decided to play it safe and head there in the winter months (at least according to my perspective). In fact, I’ll be staying over Christmas!

Travel won’t be easy. Of course, the bulk of infrastructure on Gaia is focused in and around its two most important cities, Midgar and Junon. Since the Gold Saucer is on another continent entirely, east of balmy beached Costa del Sol (where I’ll certainly be spending a few days as well), my travel plans will start with arrival in Junon, thereby avoiding the ecoterrorism, government sanctioned genocide, poisoned landscape, and extreme class stratification so often associated with the ultrametroplis of Midgar. As is customary, I’ll be traveling by sea from Junon to Costa del Sol, hopefully avoiding any confrontations with extraterrestrial regenerative abominations during the crossing (always a possibility!). After arriving in Costa del Sol, I’ll be doing what heroes, psychopathic mad scientists, and nonconsequential NPCs alike do in said sunny city: hitting the beach! Sunshine, white sand, and crystal blue water provide a welcome respite from the cold and dark of December. Postcard architecture and a thriving souvenir trade offer diversions in town once one has had enough of the surf. As far as accommodations, many might be inclined to stay at the Inn, and possibly indulge in a game of pool. However, in activity-mandated fantasy vacations, I have no fear of breaking the fantasy bank, so I’m willing to spend.

Friends, I’ll be renting the villa.

Of course, Costa del Sol is hardly the focus of this little excursion. After my stopover by the beach, I’ll be continuing to the Gold Saucer. Unfortunately, the owner of the GC, Dio, seems to not have much of a head for logistics. In addition to having been built in a desert on the remains of a destroyed town (maybe he got the land cheap?), the only way to actually reach that soaring golden monolith is via a cable car system located in North Corel. Now, while the cable cars themselves are really cool, North Corel is kind of a cross between a shanty town and The Road Warrior. While the people are honest (if gruff and world-weary), concrete rebar is not in this year. You’d feel guilty walking through even independent of the pervasive air of crushing despair. But hey, maybe my reckless spending at GC will reinvigorate the local economy! So there’s that.

After a long cable car ride up, I’ll be greeted by fireworks and music as I arrive at the happiest place on Gaia! Before indulging in the various attractions around the Gold Saucer, it’s of course nice to get settled in. I’ll of course be staying at the onsite hotel, Ghost Square. This haunted house-themed inn is an attraction in itself, looking for all the world like The Haunted Mansion on steroids. Of course, the Gold Saucer is willing to go the extra mile and even simulate a purple fog-shrouded night. Credible weather and/or day-night cycle manipulation: that, my friends, is attention to detail.

Having stopped by my room and unpacked, I’ll be heading to the various themed zones throughout the Gold Saucer. As befits a world-class theme park, there are a plethora of activities available to the motivated amusement park aficionado. As an obvious lover of video games, I’ll of course be starting at Wonder Square, which is more or less an upscale arcade. Virtual reality simulators depicting a motorcycle chase with swords, snowboarding, and an undersea submarine battle are the highlights. The always entertaining Mog House (kupo!) and Super Dunk (the latter is essentially Pop-a-Shot) are also worthwhile endeavors.

After Wonder Square, I’m planning to head on over to Round Square and the Gondola Ride. This slow moving trip around the various areas of the Gold Saucer is always relaxing—and even romantic, with the right person (the right person of course being Aeris—come on, give her that much, she’s going to die at the end of Disc 1). After the slow paced gondola, however, it’s time for some stimulation. We’ll head to Speed Square, which lives up to its name, however you want to interpret that.

Speed Square is basically an intense roller coaster. A roller coaster dark ride. A roller coaster dark ride through a Wonderland-esque, multi-hued fantasy world. Where you shoot stuff constantly, attempting to rack up a high score for various rare prizes. If you’ve ever been to Universal in Orlando, imagine Spiderman crossed with the Hulk crossed with Men in Black. Now imagine the whole thing with LSD involved. Speed Square, even as an idea, was ahead of its time (its time being publication in the mid-1990s); after the combination of video, props, and movement in the Harry Potter ride at Islands of Adventure, the obvious next step for top tier theme rides is to combine that intense hybrid with the shooter ride. 20 years later, this imaginary (and imaginative) attraction remains a standard to be pursued by the industry—and one that I expect we’ll eventually see.

In any case, assuming my brain doesn’t die from overstimulation (but what a way to go!), I’ll next head to Event Square for a performance at the theater. Loveless might be showing, but more than likely I’ll bear witness to Alfred’s comedic battle with the Dragon King Valvados. After that, it’s off to Chocobo Square to take in a chocobo race or two, and maybe just maybe lay a wager on Teioh (unless of course Cloud is there with a golden chocobo; come on, guys, I’m not stupid). Hell, maybe I’ll even get to race a chocobo myself! Wark! Kweh!

Lastly, of course, I’ll have to pay a visit to Battle Square. Dio’s Ripleys-esque museum of oddities is merely a precursor to the main event. The prizes are nice of course; however, the main goal here is to feed my ego and bask in my own overwhelming machismo. And after beating down monsters, giant plants, and a house-sized robot, I’ll no doubt be driving off into the sunset with a new car! Or a desert buggy anyway.

So, yeah, that’s my planned itinerary. Life can always get in the way—you never know when someone’s going to summon a moon-sized asteroid to destroy the world after all—but I’m looking forward to this once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Should be a blast. :)

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

As seems standard for FG, there aren’t any votes yet. While this hasn’t necessarily been an inactive game, this necessarily confuses the game state at end of day (assuming everyone even eventually votes, which often isn’t the case).

Most people are simply blending in, having said nothing noteworthy. Let me say right now that blandness is anti-town (even if you are town); without a corpus of conversation to analyze, we’re collectively left to guess. That said, a number of players have stood out, either from the detail of their posts, or their involvement in the whole BC thing.

Kadleon’s post was very thoughtful, and in fact a lot of his ideas align with mine. I’m used to a more erratic, aggressive performance from Kadleon, but I haven’t played with him recently, so this may be an evolution in his playstyle. In any case, he’s provided real content, so I lean town on him at the moment.

Bluji has been moderately active, although engagement isn’t necessarily alignment-predictive. I’d still like to hear more from him regarding SBM.

BC, Helltank, Gonkey, and Darkboy are all entangled in the ongoing BC case. The short version is that BC either attempted a gambit or made a mistake. Helltank has largely defended BC, mixed with a weird case against Darkboy. This feels a bit like chainsawing, although it’s hard to believe that he’d advertise their partnership so blatantly if both are mafia. Helltank did also briefly consider BC as “unlucky mafia,” although given the depth of his defense this feels obligatory at best. Darkboy is drawn into the situation by questioning from Helltank, who interprets this post

Originally posted by Darkboy5846:

As far as I’ve been told, I’m not a cop. RB worded the 3-scum piece of information in a way that suggested that everyone aligned with town received the same message, so I assumed that it was available to everyone.
Can other townies (preferably more than three people, to ensure that they aren’t just mafia trying to put suspicion on someone else) confirm that they were given the number of scum by the host? If so, this heavily suggests that BC is either neutral or mafia, unless I’m overlooking something.

as potentially suggesting a traitor who received a town PM and was attempting to surreptitiously coach mafia as to what to avoid saying. This theory pretty attenuated though; beyond assuming a traitor, it requires Darkboy to need to inform mafia of fact that wasn’t yet subject to gambit (Darkboy’s initial post on the subject) precedes BC’s original comments).

Gonkey is entangled by having made the initial scumbuddies post, and later by suspecting BC. The thing is, I don’t see him as a particularly viable suspect. As already noted, everything screams direct use of town role PM; if he’s mafia and didn’t receive such a PM, he’s immediately vulnerable to BC’s actual question (not even the gambit aspect, the actual question that set up the claimed gambit).

At this stage, the collective behavior of BC and Helltank seems extremely scummy to me. The problem is, that’s not necessarily indicative of actual mafiahood, and day 1 traceable partnering seems unlikely. I’ll throw out a tentative


for now, although this is subject to change before day’s end. I’d kind of rather lynch someone who’s not contributing, since at least active players have a body of evidence (their posts) permanently available, but right now that would entail essentially random voting, which provides less value from later game vote reverse engineering. I strongly recommend that people start getting votes in, and actually weigh in with what you think about the day so far. More discussion is a good thing.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Since Bluji is apparently seriously about not counting Hullaboos featuring him, and my blue pajama’d effort was uncredited last I checked, I decided to do another. This time, I went to the root of the problem.

And by root, I mean like the roots of a plant. I’d admit that this joke was low hanging fruit, but corn is actually a vegetable.

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Initial thoughts:

Originally posted by Bluji:


Day 1:
- Questionnaire and a lynch based on people’s answers OR
- Random lynch

Day 2 forward:
- Who knows?

As a general rule, a Day 1 random lynch is never a good idea. The problem with early random lynches is that deincentivizes scumhunting and general conversation, while also providing everyone an out for whatever vote is ultimately made. One can still attempt to use voting patterns to reverse engineer mafia behavior, but if no one operated in true good faith, then such later efforts are undermined.

Okay, let’s look at all the BC stuff, since that’s absorbed most of the conversation.

Originally posted by Bluji:
Originally posted by Kadleon:

If everyone else claims to have gotten it, it is likely BCLEGENDS is lying.

Wouldn’t it be something totally opposite? Wouldn’t it be so that someone else is lying about having gotten it, because what benefit there possibly would be to lie about not having received some information?

There are several possibilities here, but none totally exonerate BC. If all members of town received this information (and couched in that language choice), then BC’s ignorance of it suggests he either lied in a gambit (which he eventually claimed), that he didn’t read his PM closely, or that he is not town—leaving him either as mafia, or a third party role. Assuming for a moment that BC is mafia and not third party or gambiting/lazy town, it leaves the other two mafia in a quandary. If they both claim they received that notifier, then BC will look even more suspicious because ostensibly everyone will have received it, suggesting that it is something to hide. If they own to it, they presumably acknowledge either mafia- or third-party status, thereby drawing attention and suspicion.

The obvious potential downside to voting BC (apart from the possibility that he actually is town, see the next section of this post) is that he actually did receive that notifier, deduced that it was universal, and deliberately misspoke to draw votes. That speaks to the possibility of a Jester, which obviously isn’t unheard of in a bastard game. That said, Jesters that both end the entire game and aren’t part of a larger gimmick generally speak to poor design, since no one, host included, benefits from a game ended immediately.

Originally posted by BCLEGENDS:

To try and draw out a mafioso as part of a gambit.

Let’s just clarify here: I did actually receive the information about there being three scumbuddies in my role PM. My thinking when insinuating that I hadn’t was that, using Gonkey as bait, I might be able to lure out a mafioso into siding with me and claiming that Gonkey was lying, at which point I’d reveal that I had received that information, and so reveal a member of the mafia in the first day. That, however, partially revolved around other players not immediately backing up Gonkey’s infodump, and I admit that, as a result of lax consideration on that front, I mistimed my gambit attempt such that Darkboy had already backed up Gonkey before I made my move. I figured that I might be able to salvage the gambit by claiming ignorance with regards to that information not being in my role PM, but with so many other townsfolk backing Gonkey up further, I’ve ultimately realised the folly of continuing to plow this field, hence why I’ve now chosen to reveal what I was trying to do.

tl;dr: My gambit to draw out the mafia hasn’t worked; sorry for the inconvenience.

See, I’d be willing to buy this in a vacuum, but an ill-considered gambit (like, say, a fake claim) doesn’t excuse an ill-considered understanding of the game, and you have the experience to know better. Mafia, generally speaking, will either attempt to blend in and avoid confrontation, will falsely simulate town-ness by aggressive scumhunting, or will make a gambit of their own intended to falsely clear them. What they won’t do is fire off at the most immediate target (which, naturally, they know will flip against them), immediately trading their own credibility for a single lynch. Typically, the town mislynches on Day 1; often a mafioso will attempt to be nowhere near that lynch. But if so, they’ll do so in a way such that they appear genuine; they won’t leap on a mystery strategy that involves a claim by the target that they would necessarily know to be accurate. Because this is fundamental to the game of mafia itself, this type of gambit is dead on arrival.

RQS Answers

1. What is your general strategy when it comes to closed setups?

Whereas in an open set-up I might try to obliquely force a contradiction from the mafia, in a closed set-up I pay attention to probability. If someone claims something that seems inconsistent with the tenor of the game, it grabs my attention. The value of one’s own role is also increased, since no one (including the mafia) can know what it is, and therefore can’t fully anticipate it. If someone says something that either feels at odds with the game itself, or with my own role-related knowledge, that demands investigation.

2. Do you think BCLEGENDS’s strategy is really town-backed, or some scummy plot?

I read this as more scum-sided (see above), although I have mixed feelings on it. The logic that says that mafia will avoid falling prey to such a gambit also suggests that they wouldn’t readily embark on making such a risky gambit either. However, the very idea of a gambit generally entails some risk, and if the mafia didn’t receive an example town PM (uncommon practice in FG to begin with, and particularly unnecessary in a closed game), Gonkey’s new-ish language choices (the concern about Host reprisal for sharing any in-PM information) may have led BC to believe that said information wasn’t universal. Right now,

3. What role-spread do you think is out there?

We know this is a bastard game. We were also explicitly given a mafia number in role PMs (whether or not this number is accurate is subject to debate given the type of game, but I consider a bastard game to be more structural than lying in role PMs, which I consider to be bad form regardless of bastard game status). Assuming that the number is accurate, a true closed game likely wouldn’t have even given us that. Therefore, it’s probably likely that there’s at least one third party player, especially since a 9-3 split with presumed numerous power roles is usually a town-leaning set-up. 8-3-1 is more balanced (7-3-1-1 and 7-3-2 lean mafia), although since it’s usually best to assume a worst case scenario, I’d expect a single third party player to be either actively (i.e. alternate win condition) or passively anti-town. Role specificity in a bastard set-up is basically impossible.

Originally posted by Bluji:

3. I have this weird feeling we’re playing SBM again. Dunno why.

Could you summarize SBM?

Originally posted by BCLEGENDS:

I meant exactly what I said. I’ve noticed that the people who die early on in mafias (at least those run on Kongregate, anyway) are those who draw a lot of attention to themselves – frequently the players who are really good at mafia, e.g. Woon, Bluji, etc., being NKed by the mafia or other NK roles like a Serial Killer, but also those who simply make too much of a scene, who often end up getting lynched due to being out-played into a situation where someone ends up focusing everyone else’s ire upon them. Those are just personal observations, naturally, but I’m going to stick with it until proven otherwise. On a side note, and adding to the prior statements, a good mafia player such as Bluji or Woon not being focused down unto death in the early stages of the game suggests to me that said players are either very lucky with regards to getting protection from likely very savvy doctors, up against very stupid mafiosos, or, far more likely, aligned with the most prominent NKing faction, usually the mafia. Again, merely personal observations.

@Gonkey: Yeah, if I were a professional mafia player, I’d be on a dedicated site for it, and probably making substantial amounts of money off of it in the process somehow. It happens with chess, after all. And on that note, I’m starting to get very suspicious of you, Gonkey – “I’m bad at mafia games and everyone else is better than me” isn’t a sufficient excuse for scummy or otherwise poor play. FoS Gonkey.

See, this bothers me almost more than the maybe/maybe not gambit. While hypocrisy is more forgivable in mafia than elsewhere (e.g. one’s own questionable play shouldn’t prevent one from calling out someone else’s), Gonkey’s newness is readily evident and probably hard to fake. There’s no reason to believe the mafia received fake town PMs (you certainly didn’t think so, even if your gambit was made in good faith). As such, his use of quotation marks around “scumbuddies” (and his subsequent address of the mod) suggests he was deliberately quoting from his role PM. Since that matches the universal formula, it suggests he received a non-mafia PM. Moreover, if he is mafia (and presumably doesn’t know what information the town received), it doesn’t behoove him to provide any information on game state. A mafia that new, in fact, would likely shy from making any concrete statements or observations. To me, that opening bit feels very much like a new town player uncertainly easing in. Given the focus on you, this feels like an effort to redirect elsewhere, choosing someone that can’t defend himself rather than what you’d actually perceive to be a viable target.


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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

What criteria (in terms of level sets) are you considering for Picma? Obviously, not all level sets are created equal here; Links puzzles in general are finished much, much more quickly than the other two types. Additionally, even the Journeyman level sets for Plus and Squares require solving a 50×50 puzzle, which is those formats is fairly time consuming.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!


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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)

Confirm. I’ll look at this more closely tomorrow, and share my thoughts.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!


TWO gifts: a card and a poem, both themed after the other running joke. :)

Enjoy some Seussian sing-songiness!

Treadmillasaurus Rex

Think he saur us?
Oh my God, he’s running for us!
Treadmill? More like a Killasaurus!
Stab us, Gore Us, Slash Us, War Us
Grab the keys, get in the Taurus!
Drive fast, drive fancy, head for the forest
Else we’ll be yelling, “Oh, poor us! Poor us!”

Perhaps we should have eschewed mad science,
Tyrannosaurs, and treadmill-appliance
Binding contracts, legal reliance
Do not apply to dino-silence
T. Rex consent was a contrivance
No Caloric-Laser-Spike Alliance
And initial lizardlike compliance
Gave way to T.hunderous, Rex defiance.

Running for us
I think my rhymes are getting porous
But I’ll keep on a joke, if seeming callous
Security Gourds, Sven, a Walrus.
Where, oh where is my thesaurus?
Or better still, Treadmill The Saurus.
Floor it, fly, flee in the Taurus
Fly away from Killasaurus
Pray for rain, for plagues, for Horus
And no World Cup in a Qatarus
But before these rhymes begin to bore us,
Run faster from Treadmillasaurus.

Wait, look there, the lasers fall-a!
Wait, look here, iron spiked ball-as!
Treadmillasaurus, tall’a, holla,
Science came calling for ten dollars
Valkyries fly you to Valhalla
(A fossil bed in Walla Walla)

And 50,000 calories later,
See you later, Alligator.
In a while, Crocodile.
The fun is done, Chameleon.
Wizard, Blizzard, Leaping Lizards
Fizzled, Frazzled, Dizzled, Dazzled
Dallied on the way back home
Treadmillasaurus does still roam
Jurassic Pork → Jurassic Park
Science, Candle in the Dark
This time, T., you’ll make the Ark
Dinos Roar and Angels Hark!

Treadmillasaurus, Think He Saur Us?
Treadmillasaur is Running For Us!
Dino-Vicious, did you miss us?
Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas!
(And his cardiovascular performance is significantly improved too, this was probably a success.)

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Topic: Forum Games / [Mafia] [Bastard] YXBLARF's FRENETIC TOURNIQUET TRUFFLE - Night 2 (Deadline: 12/19, 2 PM MST)


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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

I’m going to do a real one later; it’s just that I only know what two or three people actually look like, and I don’t have pictures handy at the moment.

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Topic: Forum Games / [No sign-up required] Bluji's Christmas Calendar 2014!

Papa’s Forum Gameria:

Since it clearly flies against the SPIRIT OF THE SEASON to ignore Bluji, I decided ignore the instructions and try our host himself! Unfortunately, I’m not sure what Bluji actually looks like. So I decided to envision him as I did last year: blue elephant pajamas, and Treadmillasaurus slippers.

Unfortunately, Papa’s costume options were severely lacking, so I was forced to take the initial approximation into my own hands. This was the result.

Much better!