Recent posts by greg on Kongregate

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Topic: Kongregate / Ethnicity tags

Pretty good troll thread — just the right balance of offensiveness and ridiculousness. I laughed.

Originally posted by MattPelletier:

I just think minorities offer nothing to me so I would like to not see what they say/do. Thanks.

Understandable. I’ll lock this thread just to make sure that no minorities post any replies.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

On the topic of quests, I’m thinking about making one that focuses on short, 5-minute games. We seem to be getting fewer and fewer of those, which is the WORST THING EVER, from my unbiased perspective as someone who has to thoroughly play each game before designing badges.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

City Siege 3: FUBAR Level Pack badges are live now. I decided against a badge for getting all the stars because it seemed more frustrating than difficult — the main challenge is just collecting them before the mission auto-ends.

I’m going to try to help the developer of Tequila Zombies 3 fix the freeze bug so that one can get badges. I’ve been running into a lot of issues lately with the games themselves. It seems like half the sets of badges that I have ready to launch never end up going live for various technical reasons. It’s pretty frustrating to have a folder with images of badges that were never actually released.

I emailed Flipline about Papa Louie 3, and that’s probably going to be on the site next week. We had “Work from San Francisco Week” at the Kongregate HQ this week, so things were a bit hectic. I should be able to catch up a bit next week. I’m just listing random disjointed thoughts now, but I figured I’d give an update. I’m not happy with the frequency of badges lately.

Originally posted by andyb112:

Frozen Islands

Likely a high priority for next week.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Argh, I’m still getting the freeze bug in Tequila Zombies 3. Making new badges was not always this difficult…

 
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Topic: Kongregate / What kongregate doesnt want you to know

Originally posted by VforVendetta:

Nah, greg wouldn’t post with a parody. He’s a quite serious Illuminati fellow.

Since there seems to be some confusion, I guess I should clarify that I am not a member of the illuminati… YET!

Originally posted by Ubermorgen:

>Reading some New Age Spirit nonsense
>Wisdom

You gotta be kidding me. At best this is some parody. At worst this is someone that actually believes this shit.

My post was not intended to be taken seriously, but it’s worth noting that the New Age movement is a modern repackaging of enlightenment concepts that have existed for about as long as humans have. The so-called “illuminati secrets” are basically the same ideas, just without the magic crystals and psychic dolphins.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / [CROW Feature] Kong Minus

Originally posted by RollerCROWster:

Here at Kongregate HQ, we have determined that we are losing $1400 per minute due to ad blocking software.

Whoa, that’s $736 million a year!

Also, another feature of Kong Minus is that when you visit our forums, you’ll only see threads started by RollerCROWster.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Before putting badges in Tequila Zombies 3, I emailed the developer to ask if he could fix the bug where the whole game freezes up when you use your space bar special power. This happened to me a few times, and I didn’t realize how common it was before reading the comments. He emailed me back saying that he thinks the bug is fixed; at least there’s a new version with an attempt at a fix, but he’s having a hard time reproducing it.

If you are running into this bug, please let me know and I’ll pass it on to the developer.

Originally posted by Maritos:

I finished Tequila Zombies 3, my suggestions:

Easy: Kills or whatever.
Medium: Collect all 12 magazines.
Medium: Complete the game.

4 badges are unnecessary for this game.

Yeah, I think I agree with this. Maybe the easy badge could be for killing a miniboss or something. I’m going to play around with it a bit more.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / You guys.

Originally posted by kewkey:

I miss the days when Greg and Emilio would just blatantly lie to our faces.

You can always just check my badge release estimates in the upcoming badges thread!

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Okay, quick update, but I played/finished Tequila Zombies 3 today, and the API seems to be working. I’m hitting some roadblocks here with other stuff, but that should be good to go tomorrow.

The game is somewhat long for a medium badge, but I don’t think it’s long or difficult enough for a hard badge. I feel the same way about collecting all the magazines. So I might do something like this:

Easy: Kill a miniboss or something

Medium: Something else along the way (maybe earning in-game badges)

Medium: Complete the game

Medium: Collect all 15 magazines

Any feedback is appreciated. I really just want to get something up fast tomorrow, and this looks like a good candidate. Many thanks to Precarious and others for providing feedback on Awakening RPG and Caravaneer 2 — I’ll have to dig into those more deeply next week.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

All right, I took yesterday off, and it’s been slow, so here’s an update:

I completed Decision 3 on Monday, but there isn’t a stat for defeating the final mutant boss guy. I emailed the developer to request a stat for this, and he said he’d be able to implement it around March 30th. So that one’s on hold for a couple of weeks. Sorry!

I contacted the developer of Caravaneer 2, and stats for industries and party size were added. However, I am terrible at this game. My brain glazes over the entire interface, and I literally can’t win a single battle. Doing the first mission seems beyond my skills as a person who plays video games. I’m starting to wonder if I have undiagnosed ADHD, because I don’t know how a human mind can assimilate this game into a coherent understanding of reality. I don’t even know how to set a route on the map — I keep clicking on the map after it says “click again to set the route,” and then I click the destination again and press go, and I seem to move in a randomly different direction and I never actually reach where I tried setting my destination. And am I supposed to have more party members? I can kill 1 guy in battles, then I run out of ammo. I’m at a point now where I just reload my save file whenever I get into a battle, and I guess I need 50kg of crickets to trade for the guy I’m looking for, but I can’t afford that much, and I have no idea how to get money, and holy crap am I really this dumb? Have I lived my whole life with severe mental disabilities, and it just took playing Caravaneer 2 for me to really understand this? I’m questioning my ability to function in society now… Like, you could take a video of me playing Caravaneer 2 and present it in court as legal evidence for why I need assisted living. So there’s that.

Anyway, the point I’m making here is that I don’t exactly mesh with every game that I think deserves badges, and I still do think that Caravaneer 2 deserves badges, but I’d probably be doing it a disservice if I designed badges around what I personally have the attention span for. So if you’ve played this game a fair amount, please suggest what you think the badges should be with the stats of money, industries and party size. If you have any general tips to the game for someone as dumb as me, that is also appreciated, but I have a feeling that I’m going to be setting these badges pretty far past what I’m able to personally achieve, based on community feedback.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / What kongregate doesnt want you to know

Originally posted by RollerCROWster:

Kongregate is working for the Illuminati

The Illuminati are highly misunderstood. It’s just a rank title, like “General” or “Manager.”

You can achieve the rank of Illuminati in many esoteric mystery schools, and it does not imply any level of world control or domination. It just means that you have mastered the secrets of ageless wisdom, and you are able to create your own reality on both the physical and astral planes. The thing about the eternal splendor of the limitless light is that it can be used for ALL possibilities of manifestation. Such is the power of LVX!

Now, all world leaders have great power, but not everyone with great power is a world leader. If many people are vying for the role of secret world leader, the system is naturally going to select for those who already have the most power over their own realities. Therefore, those who have achieved the Illuminati degree are disproportionately represented in our shadow governments. However, this does NOT mean that everyone with an Illuminati degree is a part of any government at all.

For example, imagine that there are real-world jedis. You don’t have to be a jedi to control world politics, but over the course of thousands of years, the jedis tend to beat out the non-jedis if they’re both competing for political power. So you’re left with a system that’s being run by jedis, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t become a jedi for yourself, just for the power to control your own reality, without also joining the elite ruling class.

So please, do not be so quick to judge the Illuminati. We’re people just like you. Yes, we have occult powers, and yes, our ability to form our own interdimensional realities would shatter your worldview, and yes, this power can be used for world domination, but some of us just want to use this power to host Flash games instead.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by RollerCROWster:

greg, plz badge one of the games ABOUT CROWS

if u dont i will break into your house and peck dents in to your pots and pans

I apologize for the lack of crow badges. I’ve decided to go back in time to alter the past and create one. Then I decided to put the game in the #1 slot of our feature roll.

It’s called the “On the Rocks” badge in Epic Boss Fighter 2. Those of you who WOULD have gone on to earn this badge after my time-traveling change in the past will find it already in your profile, and you will also contain false memories of having earned it in the past. However, it should be noted that this badge was not actually created until after rollerCROWster’s comment. For clarification on this point, please refer to the following image:

I apologize for any butterfly effects that adding this badge into our collective past may have caused. Most of you will have vastly different lives from this moment forward, though it should be noted that they will not be any better or worse on average than the life you would have lived without the introduction of this altered path.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Okay, I seriously just spent all day playing Decision 3. I did not realize that soldiers infinitely respawned in older areas (I thought there was a finite number), and I also did not realize that outpost upgrades reduced threat growth (I thought only militia did, since it only displays threat reduction for them). AND I did not realize that it was a sub-optimal strategy to just expand as much as possible (more territory, more resources, more allies, right?). Sooo… it took me a while to dig myself out of that hole! That was seriously textbook “what not to do” for this game. Thanks to Precarious for providing some clarifications here!

Anyway, I finally got things under control and I’m on the last area now. On Monday I need to confirm that the game-completion API stat is working and submitting retroactively, then I’m probably going to do something like this:

Easy: Kills or something

Medium: Something along the way (super specific, I know)

Hard: Complete the game (but not 100%)

I think this is probably the way to go. Just finishing the game takes several hours (even more if you employ my above “strategy”!), but I think it would be unnecessarily tedious to require 100% completion. Please weigh in if you have any thoughts about names or a good medium badge task for something that takes maybe an hour or two. The plan is to get these live Monday so I can move on with my life.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Ho ho! Okay, I did actually just spend a few hours on Decision 3, but this game seriously never ends. I’m on Day 71 with 22% progress. I’m spending most of my time just fighting back zombie attacks and trying to reduce threat. I’m getting extremely frustrated with the fact that I have 0 soldiers, and I can’t find any soldiers anywhere, so I’m just getting hammered everywhere all the time, and every now and then I’m able to build something new that just increases how much I’m attacked. Where are the damn soldiers?!

So I don’t really know what I’m doing with this one. I’d probably have to play the game for a whole week just to get 100% completion to decide if it’s worth assigning a hard badge. This somehow seems longer than previous Decision games, so I don’t know if I want to follow the same formula. I would really like to get badges up tomorrow if possible. Please weigh in if you’ve played Decision 3 and you have any thoughts.

I’ll look at Ghostscape 3D, also.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by Amour:

That’s an easy hard badge: 15 minutes with walkthrough gives you 45 points.

Please refer to my comment.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by BrainpanSonata:

Since there’s six achievements, how about Six Ways To Doomsday? (with the reference in question being the idiom – as seen here http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/six_ways_to_Sunday – and not the movie)

I’ll use it — thanks!

The badge is live now. Tomorrow I’ll try to figure out what else I can get badged this week.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Okay, I’ll add an extra badge, but it really needs to be a hard badge, because seriously, I just spent an hour trying to earn the Lone Wolf achievement — I must have completed the game 10 times not understanding why I wasn’t getting the achievement until I finally figured out that you can’t even give Bill the painkillers, even if you kill him and he doesn’t help you do anything. This achievement also requires using up all but 30 minutes of your time, and you can’t even miss a single bullet because you need to kill every single zombie you can.

This is AFTER I watched a walkthrough video, and I try to design non-impossible difficulties around the assumption that you’re not using a walkthrough, so I don’t think there’s any way this could be a medium badge. If it seems like a medium badge to you and you didn’t use a walkthrough, then you are way better at surviving zombies than I am!

Anyway, suggest some names and I’ll plan to get this up later today.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by BrainpanSonata:
Originally posted by Tetsuo_Shima:

Well, something with time and zombies can only be:

Time of the Season

:-)

I cannot second this enough.

The badge is live — you have succeeded at seconding the name hard enough!

I could really go either way about a second hard badge for all of the in-game achievements. I’m going to give people some time to weigh in, then I’ll add it tomorrow if the consensus is that it’s worthwhile.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by BrainpanSonata:

I’m not so sure about all achievements. While the walkthroughs do include a way to get three of them in one run, without walkthroughs it’ll take you six or more times. Considering point-and-clicks are usually a “beat it and then never play it again” type experience, this might not be a very appealing badge.

This is also how I feel about it personally, but if there’s enough demand for a second badge I’ll consider it.

 
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Topic: General Gaming / yo papa u shuld open a weederia

Originally posted by Mousethecat:

iirc, Greg is quite opposed to drugs.

I oppose drug prohibition.

This is not to say that I am in favor of drug use, but I am in favor of treating the issue as a health problem rather than a criminal one. Locking humans in cages for decisions they make with their own bodies is a disastrous public policy that only makes the entire situation worse for everyone.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by Precarious:

Would it be possible to include an “all achievements” badge as well? There are a lot of little elements of the game than can get overlooked on just a general playthrough

Medium or hard? I personally had a lot of trouble without using a walkthrough.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Well, I know one point and click adventure game that’s about to get a completion badge — Don’t Escape 2!

All I need is a name. The image will probably be the clock achievement image, so maybe something related to daylight saving time? I don’t know, but this is ready to go up as soon as I think of something.

 
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Topic: General Gaming / yo papa u shuld open a weederia

“Rotate the mouse clockwise to grind the herb!”

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Originally posted by lizlemoncello:
Originally posted by XEN0N:

Easy: Fruit Punch’d (“Naked Gun”, since your hero is throwing fruits when fighting naked)

I’m super into this.

It is done!

Thanks for the feedback and name suggestions, everyone.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Upcoming Badges!

Maybe 2 easy badges, then? One for killing a few bosses and one for naked gun.