Recent posts by superfastjelly on Kongregate

Topic: Off-topic / turtles

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Topic: Off-topic / Need Tips To Make My GF Love Me.

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Topic: Off-topic / [Website Battles #1] Kongregate vs. Facebook

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Topic: Off-topic / My post was removed because I said kong plus was a waste of money!

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Topic: Off-topic / Bloodborne

Originally posted by 15man:

needs a pc port.

It’s owned by Sony so the chances are beyond low.

 

Topic: Off-topic / Hi

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Topic: Off-topic / Admins banning me for no reason

Originally posted by HalfCutHenry:
Originally posted by superfastjelly:

didn’t cesar’s main get banned tho? and I’m on my permawarning since I spammed gardevoir fanfic last year

it did get banned, but i dont understand how one of his alts currently has 200 posts or something

by being a good boy

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Admins banning me for no reason

didn’t cesar’s main get banned tho? and I’m on my permawarning since I spammed gardevoir fanfic last year

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Admins banning me for no reason

People are reporting you because you’re a shit

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Why is gay an insult?

Originally posted by TheInternetRules:
Originally posted by superfastjelly:
Originally posted by TheInternetRules:

Because a man’s ego is the most fragile creation and homophobia is a great way to undermine someone’s masculinity.

That’s fucking gay

when I was in third grade I was insanely popular because at the end of second grade I beat up this kid who everyone hated. it was self-defense because he pushed me when I was on the swings. anyway, I was super popular now and my class had like 24 kids in it and 22 liked me. but john and ashley learned to keep their opinion to themselves. the lunch ladies gave me double helpings of stuffing and mac n cheese. I sat at a new lunch table each day and all the cool kids still followed and sat by me. when there were any cool classroom chores like taking notes to the office, I always got to do them. the teacher let me teach the class sometimes for the whole day, sometimes just for half. we started getting double recess, and if I put in a request we got triple. I was always picked first for all the teams, even when I wasn’t playing. sometimes teachers would give me an apple or an orange just as a nice gesture. when I had a cold everyone brought in the best kind of tissues the next day. our class had its own bathroom in the back and everyone else agreed that it could just be for my use. I hated crayons so the school got rid of those. we took a field trip to the movie theater in the middle of the day because I expressed an interest in seeing finding nemo

August 6th, 2028

As our aerotaxi came into view, I grabbed my helium-coat and pulled it closer to my chest. I could almost taste the pollution-free air on my lips, and I was deeply thankful that the government allotted each citizen with the privilege of enjoying it for six hours every year. I ran my left hand over the mask imprint on my face. It was ugly, yes, but everyone from The City had one—well, everyone alive that is. It was such a strange yet happy thing, knowing that I would finally be able to take off my mask and breathe real, non-factory air.

My living unit and I were all equally excited to step aboard the aerotaxi. It would be my fourth time on one, but I was still very much looking forward to flying over the farming sector, enjoying the sights of forests and rivers, and perhaps even spotting an animal.

“All aboard!” sang the taxi pilot as he touched down and opened the entry area.

The nine of us clamored on board, collapsing ourselves into the taxi’s belly like a pack of artificially manufactured sardines in a Cost-Saving Aerodynamic Can™ from Good Corporation®.

“Welcome aboard folks! I will be your pilot for the next five hours and forty-seven minute round trip through the farming sector,” shouted the pilot as he revved up the engines, disengaged from the ground, and engaged the air. “My name is Joseph Howard-Montgomery-Mario-Martinez-Lopez-Jackson-Johnson-Smith but you may call me Joe.”

“Why’s your name so long?” questioned a small boy, Thomas, the youngest and least tactful member of my living unit. We all gave him a demeaning glance and let off a single, collective scoff.

“Well, kid, my maternal grandmother’s name was Ms. Howard-Montgomery, my maternal grandfather’s name was Mr. Mario-Martinez, my paternal grandmother was Ms. Lopez-Jackson, and my paternal grandfather was Mr. Johnson-Smith. So you can figure out the rest.”

“Oh,” said Thomas as he sank deeper into his Thermal-Reacting Smart Seat™ by Very Good Corporation®. “Are we safe to take our masks off now?”

“You might want to wait about six more minutes. We’re still in the pollution storm cloud,” answered Joe politely, apparently unfazed by Thomas’s barrage of questioning.

I could just about make out the end of The City and the beginning of the farm sector. A flood of memories wrapped over me as I remembered my last trip in the aerotaxi, when I saw a wonderful couple of cows towards the end of the trip.

“Excuse me, do you think there’ll be any cows out there today, Joe?” I asked gently.

“Yes, I reckon there will be a few,” called back Joe as he turned his head towards me. “There were about four out yesterday and we also saw a whole flock of birds, too. Big white ones with wings and such.”

“Oh, great, thank you. I would very much like to see some animals today,” I replied, completely satisfied with Joe’s response.

I was so grateful that I was going to be spending the next five hours and forty-four minutes in pure bliss. I could feel my heart beating faster as we began our exit of the pollution storm cloud.

“Thank you government,” I reverently sang, almost reflexively, almost unconsciously, as joyful tears streamed from my face.

“Thank you government,” sang the rest of the members of my living unit in perfect rhythmic response.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / [ROUND 22] GeorGeKiLLeRx vs. NOICEBANE555: Who do you prefer?

Originally posted by NOICEBANE555:
Originally posted by superfastjelly:

George ;)

no one likes you kid

;))))))))))))

 
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Topic: Off-topic / [ROUND 22] GeorGeKiLLeRx vs. NOICEBANE555: Who do you prefer?

George ;)

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Why is gay an insult?

Originally posted by TheInternetRules:

Because a man’s ego is the most fragile creation and homophobia is a great way to undermine someone’s masculinity.

That’s fucking gay

 
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Topic: Off-topic / A Message from the Akaike Legion: The Fall of Dikkmar

forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study Mechanical Engineering at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American video game and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i **** this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, “I AM CUM FROM SEX” (in Russia). She say what? I say “I AM CUM FROM SEX” and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say “NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS” and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / So my gf is angry on me

Originally posted by FrostyGhosts:
Originally posted by superfastjelly:

Get a real girlfriend who isn’t over the Internet you gypsy virgin

take it easy,faggot… I didnt started with you, yet.

do it fuccboi

 
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Topic: Off-topic / So my gf is angry on me

Get a real girlfriend who isn’t over the Internet you gypsy virgin

 
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Topic: Off-topic / you're all autists

im too important for that

 
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Topic: Off-topic / e-sports

I only keep up with the FGC

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Serious Discussion issues a serious challenge.

does vanguarde still shitpost in ess dee

 
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Topic: Off-topic / The Cold Truth is: You are all lowlives

I’m okay with that.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / [ROUND 21] abraaz vs. superfastjelly: Who do you like better?

Abraaz

I think the nigger cuz sfj never gave me a new digpig

Everyone gets a free sample. After that, you have to pay for the whole package.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Naruto Master Thread

Naruto is a gateway anime of the worst kind. It’s a bad series, a clusterfuck of story and characterization that isn’t very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive shipping faggotry and DARKNESS. The normal anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the series itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.

However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for aspie, unsociable underageb& faggots who engage in every kind of faggotry both online and in the real world. The superpowered characters all trying their hardest to look cool, the jutsus, peculiar, colorful clothes, the whole ninja faggotry and everything about the Naruto world fuels their escapist fantasies, while the pity-party character backgrounds, emphasis on revenge, and overall preachiness of the series make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average preteen and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes little kiddies and underageb& retards eat this shit right the fuck up.

Naruto is basically THE series to attract the most hated anime fanbase known to weeaboos, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to troll the fuck out of this show and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Naruto threads ever encourage the newfriends to show their faces here.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ITS SATURDAY NIGHT AND UR HOME BROWSING OT

I’ve been watching anime like the shut-in weeaboo I am.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / What's wrong with everyone on OT?

During recess at school, I started noticing this boy with slightly long blonde hair who also enjoyed kicking dust. Before I met him, I always mentally nicknamed him the “King Arthur Kid”, due the regal look his hairstyle gave him. My first act was to ask my parents to allow me to bleach my hair blonde. I always envied and admired blonde-haired people, they always seemed so much more beautiful. One boy who was tall and had blonde hair called me a “loser”, right in front of his girlfriends. He was tall, good looking, blonde-haired, and a skateboarder; the type of person I’ve always envied and wanted to be.I often built elaborate fantasies in my mind that I had a hot, blonde-haired girlfriend to have passionate sex with; almost like having an imaginary girlfriend. I had to drop the sociology class right on the first day, because there was this extremely hot blonde girl who took the class with her brute of a boyfriend. I couldn’t stand looking at them sitting together. I left the class mid-session because I couldn’t take it anymore. A student who went to UCSB; and the other, whose name I don’t remember, was a tall blonde surfer-type boy who went to SBCC. I was annoyed at how tall and attractive he was, though I didn’t show it. After lunch I walked over to the cafeteria area, and I saw so many pretty blonde girls sitting around. I wished I had the courage to go up to them and ask one on a date, but they would have seen me as a creep. To have a beautiful blonde girl by my side, to feel her hand clasping my own as we walk everywhere together, to feel her love! That is what I want in life. A tall, blonde, jock-type guy walked into one of the restaurants, and at his side was one of the sexiest girls I had ever seen. She too was tall and blonde. They were both taller than me, and they kissed each other passionately. They made me feel so inferior and worthless and small.

TL;DR Go fuck yourself

 

Topic: Off-topic / Let's post about our plan to wipe out Estonia on various forums around the internet

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