Recent posts by OOHnirav on Kongregate

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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [Players' Pack] Survey Results

Originally posted by yeasy:

check what ‘disagreement’ means in wiki.

(removed the flaming which will probably cause your post to be removed)

I just looked it up to be sure (it re-linked me to controversy on wikipedia), and it confirmed that I still disagree with you. I think the survey was handled well and is legitimate. My gratitude for LDV’s work on this remains.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [Players' Pack] Survey Results

I disagree with Raa and Yeasy, this was a good survey. Thanks for taking the time to do this, LDV!

Originally posted by caino666:
Originally posted by casvar:

146*32% = 46.72 People.

Okay, errr…We got that much people in the making of PP?

bare in mind that i consider making noises and being ignored as i make them to be non-contribution

I do agree with this. Making noises on its own does not constitute participation.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by Shieru:

Will any of your advice benefit anyone with children/wanting children?

Hello again, Shieru. The answer to your question is yes. I won’t name every success story for obvious reasons, but a few include:

Caad: Currently seeing rehabilitation through the penal system, which will help him to come out of the system as a better parent.

MSUSpa: His offspring is now wearing colors proper to its gender, which helps it to identify with its hormones and chromosomes.

Ralkkdillon: She has more cats now.

ladolcevita: Named her first three children John, one of which was a male.

Pats133: No longer balding due to the stress of naming a child.

These are just five random success stories. Looking through this thread alone, I’m sure you can find more, and I hope to help even more in the near future! I’m grateful that I can use the gift of my encyclopedic parenting knowledge to help the Tyrant community and their previously neglected children.

 

Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by thror13:

Hello Nirav, and everybody else. Haven’t posted since around the time i quit. Haven’t even read the forums until today, and i was quite happy about that….. until now.

Soo, i got here for other reasons, but its time for me to ask a very critical question from know-it-all niVar!
Btw, i hope this hasn’t already been asked:

“What is the optimal number of children? How do you choose and why?”
(note, that i want a complete list of advantages and disadvantages of every possible number between 0 and 8 children)

Hello Thror, and welcome back to Tyrant. Generally speaking, I try to put about as much effort into my answers as people do in their questions, so I’ll keep your answer as short as I can while also trying to answer comprehensively.

Number of Children:

1) Advantage: More money for self (selves if your spouse hasn’t left you yet).
Disadvantage: Child more likely to become a serial killer

2) Advantage: 1v1 rivalry will help both become strong and individualistic.
Disadvantage: Statistics show that each parent will choose one to be their favorite, leading to divorce and possibly murder.

3) Advantage: Ability to form a small and safe pyramid.
Disadvantage: In a heated argument, two will inevitably gang up on one, leading to severe injury. Also, middle child will show psychopathic tendencies unless you have a pet dog or fish (note: do NOT get cat(s) if you have 3).

4) Advantage: None.
Disadvantages: Everything. Four is seriously the absolute worst number of children you can have. Avoid this at all costs and adopt a fifth if you have to (if you become sexually incompetent or barren after the fourth).

5) Advantage: It has been scientifically proven that by the fifth child, you perfect parenting. In fact, 9/10 scientists are the fifth child. The tenth is a scientologist who misunderstood the survey.
Disadvantage: The third child will have the lowest level of intelligence of any child in any of the scenarios detailed throughout this list. Keep a close eye and protect it from electricity, water, and non-edible batteries.

6) Advantage: It begins to become acceptable to forget their names. Also, you can have them hold hands and encircle you when you go into public with them, so that you don’t have to worry about losing them at a department store or carnival.
Disadvantage: 6v1 numbers advantage means that they’ll be able to slap you around when the youngest is at age 4.

7) Advantage: Large number and odd number means they will be able to hold forums to make important decisions, allowing you to watch more television. Also, you can nickname each after the seven dwarfs of Snow White. All of the other advantages from above apply to this, making it the optimal number of children you can have.
Disadvantage: None, this is perfect; even if they try to gang up on you, one is likely to take your side, which puts things back in your favor.

8) Advantage: You can attach two to each of your limbs, making yourself into a voltron-type force that allows you to fight the powers of evil.
Disadvantage: Biologically, they will have decreased durability and hair. Think Samuel L Jackson in Unbreakable times eight. This is due to an embryological genetic anomaly. You don’t have to trust me, trust scientific research.

In short, stick with seven. If, by freak chance, the seventh comes with a twin, I recommend that you get a ninth, since that would be the next best thing either way. Good luck in your journey of parenthood, Thror. You may not need it as much as I think you do, so you could be a fantastic parent!

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Let's make sure it goes full circle... Need some help

Originally posted by Waynerz99:

prex will be getting many upgrades if moo does not step down from OoD. I never read/comment on this forum, but this is important. 10 strong members have left OoD in the last 8 hours. Should be interesting.

Yeah, don’t start this here, please.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / That feeling ...

I disagree with Yeasy. Apocalypse pack is a fantastic way to get old (and some newer) players back into the game with competitive decks.

Someone should start a referendum thread asking if people like or dislike the pack.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [thank you devs] cap is eliminated, let the hoarding and party begin

You spent shards during your strike? What a sellout.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [DEV] Epic Lithid released!

Originally posted by DaWayne33:

Pushed a fix so no free wins on Missions, Raids and Quests. Also increased the Shard cap.

WTF? There were free wins for missions, raids, and quests, and I didn’t get to take advantage? I demand compensation for this.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [DEV] Epic Lithid released!

Nooooooo!!! I just used all my energy! I demand compensation in TU.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Will DEV compensates us something when tyrant closed?

Originally posted by ladolcevita:
Originally posted by darkfang77:

lol LDV wrote something so offensive it got modded… what was it? :D

i removed it myself nub :DD

coz biased against LDV

Modabuse! I take back my thanks; please permaban. (not really, please don’t quit again)

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Liberal Tyrant Cards

Originally posted by Pats133:

Darkfang I googled it 12 different ways couldnt find anything. I am not in the Corps, nor do i represent the military in any way. I reached Cadet Sergeant as an Army cadet but am i no longer in the program, THOUGH i hope to join back up after college

Good luck joining back up, Pats!

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by retsamerol:
Originally posted by OOHnirav:
Without getting into the tedious pathophysiological details


Originally posted by Merck Manual:
Theobromine and caffeine competitively inhibit cellular adenosine receptors, resulting in CNS stimulation, diuresis, and tachycardia. Methylxanthines also increase intracellular calcium levels by increasing cellular calcium entry and inhibiting intracellular sequestration of calcium by the sarcoplasmic reticulum of striated muscle. The net effect is increased strength and contractility of skeletal and cardiac muscle. Methylxanthines may also compete for benzodiazepine receptors within the CNS and inhibit phosphodiesterase, resulting in increased cyclic AMP levels. Methylxanthines may also increase circulating levels of epinephrine and norepinephrine.

Hmmm… that didn’t really help. It can cause arrhythmias and CNS dysfunction, which is bad.

Thanks for taking the time to do this, Rets. This will hopefully satisfy the medophiles who have been sending a constant stream of PMs to me requesting more details.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Thank You SeanDougherty86

Tasha, while I agree that the devs should probably punish every single person who exploited the multiple legend thing at any point in the past with a ban, I’m not sure what that has to do with this thread.

A fair number of people (including SeanDougherty86) spent copious amounts of time making this pack (and dealing with a few unsavory characters who tried to impede its progress). As I understand it, anyone who volunteered and was willing to put in the work was encouraged to join the players who were working on the pack, whether they cheated, exploited bugs, or whatever else. No one was chosen, and no one was rewarded. The history and reputation of players in the game, in my opinion, should be held separately from the gratitude they are receiving for working on this the pack, which was practically extracurricular in nature.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [Dev] Apocalypse Pack

Please restore Snakesolid’s cards.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by Sharigon64:

is it good to spoil your child

Great question, Shar!

A spoiled child is much like spoiled food. It is rotten, is the result of you leaving it out in the sun too long, and will probably end up killing you (both metaphorically and literally).

As an anecdotal side-note, the late emperor Genghis Khan, known historically to have eaten children in his attempts to regain his youth (which has been proven to not work, by the way), rejected spoiled children from his cannibalistic diet due to the risk they posed on his digestive system. Even back then, barbaric medical practitioners/healers/witch doctors knew that the contents of a spoiled child entering an otherwise healthy adult’s blood stream would cause sepsis, diarrhea, severe heartburn, and AIDS.

With all that cleared up, recommended ways to prevent a child from becoming spoiled are by keeping it in room temperature when it is dormant, training it to use the restroom properly, keeping it somewhat active for purposes that benefit you, and continuously finding ways to stimulate its mind with mathematics.

If you understand all this and are able to do all of that, you could be a good parent as soon as tomorrow! Good luck in parenthood, and if you ever have any other inquiries, you know where to ask.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by darkfang77:

How toxic is chocolate to babies?

I did you the liberty of making your statement into a question fitting this thread. In the future, please save me some time by doing this yourself.

I apologize to both you and Bryan for not properly explaining the effects of cocoa toxin on a baby.

Since a baby isn’t actually a dog (which apparently needs to be stated), the effect isn’t exactly the same in a baby as it would be in a dog. Without getting into the tedious pathophysiological details, exposure to cocoa toxin in babies will almost always negatively affect production of a subset of thyroid hormone and androgen. While the baby will typically not experience dwarfism, it will unfortunately suffer from stunted brain development and decreased or absent gonadal presence in males (females are not as strongly affected, amazingly enough).

I hope this clarified things for both of you!

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by BryanS117:

Is nyquil ok to give babies if they cant sleep? Seems to work better than whiskey in my experince so far.

All joking aside, do not give Nyquil to babies. Carefully read the label of EVERYTHING that you are administering to the little one, and if you’re still confused, ask a doctor.

I don’t really know you, but for someone as intelligent and insightful as you seem to be, BryanS117, I’m sure that you’ll need more of an explanation for why Nyquil is bad for babies.

To understand this, you must first know that the world’s leading biologists consider babies to technically be a different species than children and adults, where they are actually more closely related to dogs than humans. The transformation from babies → toddler is considered a radical evolution/intentional mutation of sorts in most scientific circles. While I could go into how this theory works on a genetic, submolecular, and quantum level, I’m confidently guessing that you’ll take my word and the word of some of the most decorated scientists in the world on this.

With all that in mind, Nyquil’s parent company is secretive regarding its contents, but I have it on good authority that key ingredients include (but are not limited to) two different structural forms of fluoroquinozine, water, lignin, and cocoa beans (on a side note, the lignin and fluoroquinozine polymer is what makes Nyquil highly toxic to rodents and some species of snakes; isn’t science cool?!?). Anyway, for the purpose of your post, we should focus on cocoa beans, which are the part of chocolate that dogs react poorly to. Going back to the previous paragraph, given that babies are more closely related to dogs than humans, Nyquil is HIGHLY toxic to them.

I hope this has helped you, and congratulations on becoming a much more well-informed father!

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Can a mod please step in and stop the spam and derailment of this community thread which has a clearly stated purpose? One user’s reading comprehension inabilities (particularly one who has a history of following me around the forum for more than a year) should not ruin a fun and helpful thread for others.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Thank You SeanDougherty86

Originally posted by noskk:

First of all, thanks to everyone that have made the Player pack possible (#cabal team), and also thanks to the TyrantOptimizer maker and contributors.

+1 to this

While most of my gratitude definitely goes to the players who worked a ridiculous amount on this pack, the devs deserve an additional thanks. When they decided to close the game, they had absolutely no obligation to give it a full year, much less to make even the smallest effort to give us new content (which is surprisingly affordable). I’d also like to give them credit by trusting the players who made the pack, who ended up being competent in their roles.

And a final special thanks to Ralkk who has been pushing for this idea for WAY longer than most people probably realize. I don’t know how involved she was with the actual creation of the cards, but she got this off the ground and made it all possible.

All of you were great, and it’s only unfortunate that it took until the last year of the game before something this extraordinary was able to happen (I think everyone so far agrees that this pack has been a resounding success).

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by crazyeye2011:

What do you want or expect your children to be when they grow up?

Once again, as flattered as I am by your continued curiosity regarding my life outside the game, this thread isn’t about my personal life.

Regarding your other posts here which have been removed:

Crazyeye, this thread is for people who are seeking help to become better parents to their children (current or future). Please don’t allow your jealousy of my intellect ruin that for everyone else. This isn’t fight club.

All that being said, you are perfectly welcome to ask a question about how someone else should properly parent their children here. It might help an onlooking reader if it’s a good question!

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by WardTheWarden:

Dear OOHnirav,

I recently heard that you were pregnant. Congratulations! What are you going to name it? Lil’ Nirav?

Hello WardTheWarden, thank you for taking the time to post in here!

I actually meant this as a thread for people to ask me about different ways that they can be better parents to their children, so that their children can grow to be better than they are (although in the case of your progeny, that could be accomplished simply by teaching it to read). That being said, I would be glad to answer your question with the small request that you reserve your future questions to the subject of your own children.

Being that I am all man, I don’t currently have the biological capacity to become pregnant by traditional means. Modern science being what it is, I could not change that even if I wanted. In case you doubt this, shortly after I finish this post, I send you a picture of my genitalia to ease your mind. When I next plant my seed within a female to whom I will be married, we will name it Lowe (regardless of gender) as it is coming to fruition.

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / [Dev] Apocalypse Pack

Thanks to Synapticon and the hard work of the players involved to get this organized and released so quickly!

I just wish you could have been more transparent. Can you please show me exactly where in the forum, log, or spreadsheet each card was suggested by specific players with signed and notarized confessions? If not, this isn’t a players’ pack, it’s a some players’ pack! #modspiracy #dontbanmebro

 
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Topic: Tyrant: General Tyrant Discussion / Ask OOH (about parenting)

Originally posted by rynodino1:

Should I name my child Lowe so I can say “Yo Lowe”?

This is the best question I have received on this thread yet. Yes, do this.

Originally posted by retsamerol:

How do I toilet train feline overlords? Are dogs capable of being toilet trained? Is it possible to trick my parents into believing that at least one of my mammalian household members is their biological grandchild?

How do I toilet train feline overlords? Are dogs capable of being toilet trained?

All children, even the blessedly hairy ones, can be toilet trained. While there are numerous methods by which this can be accomplished, the tried-and-tested best method is similar to fire drills that most schools use to teach children how to escape fires.

Put several alarms in the house that create a high-pitched (to the point where children can hear it and you, as an adult that is becoming increasingly hard of hearing, can’t) shrieking sound, and set it to ring every 30 minutes for a week. During every alarm, the child has to run to the bathroom and sit on its appropriate toilet seat, otherwise the alarm will continue to torture it. This will teach a sense of urgency, a fear of loud noises (thus making them more obedient to your stern-voiced demands), and help it to become toilet trained.

If your child manages to have an accident between the 30 minute intervals, it is defective, and you should hire a nanny to help maintain it. If it fails to be toilet trained after a week of this, you will know that it is a slow learner, which will help you to make the proper accommodations when schooling begins.

Is it possible to trick my parents into believing that at least one of my mammalian household members is their biological grandchild?

Chances are, at least one of your mammalian household members is your biological child, and was just mutated due to an X-gene (for more information on this, I recommend viewing a documentary on the subject called “X-men”). That being the case, you don’t need to trick your parents, as your honesty should be good enough to convince them of the truth.

Originally posted by Shieru:

I miss the Neverending Story.
My childhood rocked.

Word.

(but please try to keep your posts in this thread on the subject of asking me questions about parenting)