Recent posts by Firespread on Kongregate

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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Game Thread]

Originally posted by Ronaga:

((Anyone else feel awkward. Its been about 9 hours since the last post. 23 since my last. Is it me or anyone else waiting for the first person to speak?))

(We’re all waiting for the OP/DM/Gamemaster/Moderator to do something.)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Game Thread]

(bt dubs kip you just basically said “Sup vampire”)
(Also, Jrek’s raw stupidity renders most mind-affecting spells completely useless, as his brain cannot process advanced commands.)
Jrek Gnorl
The Orc Warband appears to grow restless waiting for longer than two minutes. Some of them start swinging their usually oversized weapon around.
Jrek notices a Dark Elf going around talking to people. Jrek comes to the conclusion that the Elf is clearly a spy from the Empire of Good and that they painted an Elf black to try and make it look evil.
In a noble attempt to whisper, but still ending up almost shouting, Jrek addresses his war party.
JREK SEE SPY. IS TRY TO INFILTRATE US. OTHER CREATURE THINK IT FRIEND, BUT JREK SEE THROUGH ILLUSION. YOU STAY HERE, JREK DEAL WITH DAGGEREAR.”
Jrek attempts walking up quietly behind the Dark Elf, but seeing as how he’s a seven feet tall, 300 pound Orc Warband leader carrying a massive Orc Iron warhammer, it doesn’t really work out.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Game Thread]

Jrek Gnorl
Jrek attempts to punch his mirror image, dissipating it. Since the rest of the scene has quieted down and the original fallen angel is gone, the rest of Jrek’s Warparty barge to the front of the line and basically throw their scribbled-on papers at Delilah. They’re even harder to read then Jrek’s. The pinkskin started arguing with some vampire.
JREK HATE BLOODLEECH.” Jrek says, in the most normal and not-shouting voice he can muster. The warparty grunts in agreement, and sits down at the bench. The huge figures of the Orc Warriors and their weapons take up twelve chairs. Jrek surveys the scene, staring angrily at anyone that looks at him until they avert their eyes. The orc-marked MEG commander’’s pauldron marks Jrek clearly as the leader of the warband. Jrek starts making racecar noises.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Game Thread]

Jrek Gnorl
Jrek screams something incomprehensible and lifts his hammer above his head, charging directly at the illusion of Issac. He brings it down with tremendous force directly where Issac would have been standing, enough to smash the Shellfish table in half and crack the floor.
YOU DIE FOR INSULT ORC CULTURE! NO ONE INSULT ORC CULTURE!”
Jrek has apparently been aggravated into a rage. Once the illusion dissipates, he starts wildly swinging his hammer around the table in powerful strikes, attempting to hit Issac. In reality, this ends up with Goblin entrails all over the broken shellfish table.

Worse, the loud voices of Orcs can been heard nearby- in all likelihood, Jrek’s War party. That’s seven half-retarded warrior Orcs coming near their leader in a Battle Frenzy.
Someone should probably do something about this before it gets really fucked up.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels

Cue flashback.
“Like this?”
“Precisely. You’re learning, Konrad.”
(Crashing noise)
“… Although maybe not that fast. Heh. Three strokes of the hand, and a Divine word. Say the word after the second stroke in an upwards arc, and the other two in a left and right arc respectively..”
“I think I understand now. Thanks, Jorji.”

Two strokes, a divine word, and one more. Sounds easy enough. Hopefully my Black Shield will last long enough I don’t die for trying this, and hopefully I’m a bit more powerful than I was then, even in that field.
Haven’t used holy magic in hundreds of years now. Fucking hell, man.
One stroke, leftwards arc. The Black Shield around me weakens.
A second stroke, rightwards arc. I can sense a first hole being broken in the shield. Something feels different inside.
A secret divine word, muttered under my breath. The uttering of it burns my mind and face. The mist is almost through the shield totally now. My body feels a way it hasn’t felt in a long time.
And one perfectly executed stroke upwards. Hermann’s mist has broken through my black shield now, and are about to consume the rest of my life force. Luckily the shield conceals my physical body underneath it, so he couldn’t see my movements I was doing. By the time he sees the final stroke, it is too late.
A powerful surge of light pushes out from my body, with the power of someone who’s got a bit of countless holy men inside of him, all struggling for dominion over their host soul. Unleashing their power now might have consequences later, but fuck that. I needed it right now. The surge of pure light moves too fast for even a teleportation to get away from it, and while it’s certainly not enough to kill a mage of his power, I can’t imagine that Holy Magic point-blank blast will do anything good. I begin the incantation of a Black Prison right after the Blast occurs- he probably won’t stay down for the whole rest of the two and a half minutes this battle has in it.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Game Thread]

Jrek Gnorl
Jrek shoves a couple of people out of the way and hands the lady his application, after sitting at the bench with a red marker for two hours.

WHEN JREK START, WOMAN?”
He looks around impatiently. Filling out the sheet has apparently put him in a bad mood.
Jrek notices some fallen angels nearby, one of whom takes a slight glance at his insanely heavy Warhammer.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOK AT? ARE YOU NOT LIKE WARHAMMER?” he says, aggression clear in his voice.

Originally posted by thedude0:

Sodius
an orc had burst in

(Are you a wizard?)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Beyond the Forest [signups]

Originally posted by TheBastardBrasta:
(Are we needing weapons to fight or survival tools?)<blockquote\>

Both. The forest is full of dangerous beasts like wolves and bears.

Pro formatting.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels
Three minutes left. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
I’m a Necromancer. This isn’t what I do best. Shit.
But I’m also a dark mage- and a goddamn good one at that. Hopefully it’ll have some effect on his dark-mystiness. And if not, I’ve still got one last trick up my sleeve…
I fight against the Vapor, and launch a considerably powerful blast of concentrated Dark Magic directly at his stupid fucking vapor-face. Then, I put up a black shield only around my direct physical body to stop or at least slow down the vapor around me, and begin to concentrate hard on the past. I need to remember right now- my life may well depend on it.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups]

Originally posted by BCLEGENDS:

EBWOP:

and Juniper is pure tank/dps. Just send him straight into the enemy, cause some havoc then fly away.

Wyrms have no wings. He’d burrow away rather than fly away, if necessary. Also,

Jrek Gnorl:This is like a more durable and more powerful version of Juniper.

I fail to see how a gigantic scaled monstrosity is less durable and less powerful than something that is ultimately still roughly human-sized and proportioned. This isn’t me being cocky or anything; I’m just saying that dragons tend to be very big and well-armoured for scales, and so by extension… actually, would the average wyrm be bigger than the average dragon, I wonder? Maybe, maybe not, or perhaps it depends on age. Either way, I feel like the sentence I quoted, plot armour aside, is a bit of a misnomer.

When someone’s basic companion is significantly more powerful than a non-retarded PC, it’s probably a problem.
EDIT:
Jrek is specifically intended for bullet sponge to the max. As an Orc Warband leader, he stands easily 6’ something, with a weight to match his height as a ball of muscle. And as stated in the Application, he heals wounds incredibly fast.
Also, he is armored with the mighty Plot Armor.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups]

Originally posted by Kipdon:

Can I change my character sheet almost entirely? The loss of a warhammer-wielding minotaur might make a certain orc a bit happier.

I don’t actually care too much. However, Warhammers abundant.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels
I send about ten zombies in the circle near him to jump on his exposed body, clawing the the flesh. I wouldn’t assume that these zombies would be able to kill him so I’m not too worried. The others stay back in case he pulls some vampire trick, and I continue to raise more of the surrounding corpses into my temporary service.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels
I form a sheildwall of sorts of some of the zombies in front of me, to prevent any direct attacks on me he might be formulating.
Also, he doesn’t seem to remember he’s dealing with undead- who don’t stop fighting until their essence is destroyed, which means either killing me or, basically, smashing their skull in. His skull remains decidedly un-smashed. I command his now-almost-skeletal husk to grab Hermann’s leg with his one remaining hand, hopefully pulling the man down. If he falls, he’s dead meat in all likelihood.
I count down the time in my head as well. Five minutes seems like a while in a fight.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups]

Originally posted by Kipdon:
A sturdy Warhammer

Fuck you.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups]

@jenrenator
You’re gonna be that guy, aren’t you?
Name: Jrek Gnorl
Race: ORC IS MOST POWERFUL RACE
Age: JREK IS OF AGE TO KILL
Gender: JREK HAVE PENIS
Appareance: JREK STRONG ORC! JREK IS MANY MUSCLE, TO CRUSH LITTLE ELF SKULL. JREK TALL. JREK SMARTEST ORC IN CLASS! TEACHER SAY JREK SUITABLE FOR MID-LEVEL COMMANDING ROLE. JREK KILL TEACHER QUICKLY. JERK MANY SCARS FROM PUNY PINKSKINS AND DAGGEREARS THAT TRY TO KILL HIM, JREK SIMPLY LAUGH. JREK STRONG. JREK CARRY WARHAMMER OF TRUE WARRIOR! IS COATED IN MANY ENEMY BLOOD, AND IS TRUE ORC IRON! JREK NOT CLEAN WARHAMMER, IS DISGRACE TO ORC PEOPLE. JREK LOVE WARHAMMER. JREK WEAR WARBAND LEADER PAULDRON TO SIGNIFY STATUS! EVERYONE LOVE JREK. WAS TOLD JREK EVEN STRONGER THAN MOST ORC! THIS MAKE JREK PROUD.
Personality:JREK STRONG! JREK REPRESENTATIVE OF ORC PEOPLE! JREK NOT TOLERATE DISSENT. JREK KILL WEAKLINGS. JREK SMASH HALFLINGS ON SIGHT.
Skills: JREK GOOD AT SMASH, GOOD AT KILL, GOOD AT TELL OTHER ORC TO SMASH! JREK WON BEST RAIDER AWARD THREE MOON TURNS AGO! JREK IS PROUD ORC RAIDER.
Abilites: JREK ABLE TO HEAL FAST AND SMASH FAST. JREK HARD TO KILL. TOLD JREK POSSESS ABNORMAL HEALING RATE! JREK HAPPY, THIS MEAN HE KILL MORE.
Spells: JREK KNOW MAGIC FOR WEAKLINGS.
Likes: JREK LIKES ORC, SMASHING, STRONG FRIENDS, TAVERN AND SHINY WEAPON. JREK LOVE WARHAMMER.
Dislikes: JREK HATE PINKSKINS AND DAGGEREARS AND HALFMEN AND GOLDMOLES AND OTHER BAD CREATURES. JREK KILL THEM ALL! JREK ALSO HATE WEAKLINGS AND ORC DISGRACES AND PEOPLE WHO HATE ORCS AND PEOPLE WHO HATE WARHAMMER. JREK FEELS BLOOD BOIL AT MENTION.
Weakness: JREK MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES.
Personal objects: JREK OWN WARHAMMER! MADE OF BEST ORC IRON IN LAND. IS NAME GROJK. JREK SMASH MANY SKULL WITH IT! JREK HELD WARHAMMER WHEN PROMOTED TO WARBAND LEADER. ALSO, JREK OWN WARBAND LEADER PAULDRON. IS PAULDRON TAKEN FROM BODY OF SLAIN PINKSIN COMMANDER AND PAINTED ORC COLOR! IS ONLY GIVEN TO ORC WHO SLAY PINKSIN COMMANDERS AND DEEMED SUITABLE FOR WARBAND LEADERSHIP! JREK KNOW HE ON WAY TO TOP.
Backstory: JREK WAS BORN IN PEACEFUL VILLAGE OF DHUHKJOR, BEST ORC VILLAGE IN LAND. ONE DAY PINKSKIN COLONIZATION PARTY COME TO VILLAGE AND ATTACK WITH WEAPONS WE NEVER SEE BEFORE, WOOD SPEARS THAT SHOT FIRE! WE EAT WELL THAT NIGHT. JREK WAS BROUGHT ON JUDGE-DAY BEFORE ELDER COUNCIL, AND APPROVED AS ORC RAIDER! WAS HAPPIEST DAY OF JREK LIFE. JREK SPEND YEARS RAIDING THE WEAKLING TRIBES, TAKING WHAT NEEDED, UNTIL ONE DAY JREK PARTY CAME ACROSS PINKSKIN PATROL UNIT WITH COMMANDER! JREK KNOW IF HE KILL COMMANDER, HE SURELY GET RAIDING PARTY OF HIS OWN! JREK LEAD CHARGE ON PATROL, AND FIGHT COMMANDER IN SINGLE COMBAT. WARHAMMER BLOW SMASHED IN HELMET, SADLY. WOULD MAKE GOOD TROPHY. JREK BRING PAULDRON BACK TO ELDERS, AND WAS MADE WARBAND LEADER! WAS HAPPIEST DAY IN JREK LIFE. NOW HE GET HIS OWN RAIDING PARTY, AND ALLOWED TO LEAD ORCS IN WAR!
JREK HAD HAPPY LIFE. JREK AND PARTY HEAR OF DUNGEON OF EVIL LEADING BIGGER RAIDS THEN SMALL ORC VILLAGE, SO WAVE GOODBYE TO VILLAGE WITH PROMISE OF MORE SHINIES THAN COULD EVER BE IMAGINED AND SET OFF. JREK AND WARBAND OF SEVEN ORC NOW WORK AT DUNGEON OF EVIL. IS EXPECT LOTS OF KILL.

(JREK STRONG)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups/Settings] [Sign-ups always open]

So will we automatically become commanders of the DE’s forces? Like, would the Orc character automatically be made the Warchief in command of the Orc forces? Or are we just typical minion-tier expendables?

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by BLOODYRAIN10001:
Originally posted by Pigjr1:

The Navy Seals hire brickandmortarboxes?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about brickandmotarboxes, you little bitch? I’ll have you know brickandmorterboxes graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and they’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and have over 300 confirmed kills apiece. They are trained in gorilla warfare and they’re the top snipers in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to them, but just another target. They will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to them over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak they are contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. They can be anywhere, anytime, and they can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with their bare hands. Not only are they extensively trained in unarmed combat, but they have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and they will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. They will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
[A few edits makes any copy pasta usable.]

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Dungeon Dweller [Sign-Ups/Settings] [Sign-ups always open]

Presign coz reasons.
Suggestion: Add typical fantasy creatures. (Gablins, Oercs, Alfs, Meneters, etc)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels
Well, maybe this won’t be certain death.
I send one of my freshly raised zombies at the Vampire(Citation needed), telling the others to stay a little bit away from the man to see what he can do. I get the feeling sending them all at him at once would be a bad plan. I continue to raise even more of the bastards in the meantime.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

(Sorry for late response. been on planes n shit)

Konrad Engels
This is certainly better.
The man prepares to fight. If I’m good enough, that Rapier should never touch my skin. It would take a tremendous amount of skill to kill even a neophyte necromancer in five minutes here.
And I’m certainly not a neophyte.
I walk with the other people towards the gate, and as as we pass it, I instantly start running the other way. Such is life as a Necromancer.
I prepare my Black Shield in case of a direct magical attack, and start the incantation of the most unholy magic, that of Necromancy. The ability to control that which has died. I’ve caught the other man off-guard for just enough time to be able to raise a single corpse before he can end the fight before it begins.
. Hopefully even one Zombie will hold off this man for a second or two- I don’t know anything about these people, but I assume they are of immense power, being from the Cult. I focus my energy, still getting as much distance between me and Vampire-man as possible, and concentrate on raising more Zombies. Shit, I feel like this would be a really great time to be able to summon Wraiths. Too bad I’m way too weak for that right now.
I can raise, at this rate, about a man every two seconds, getting better as I grow more familiar with these corpse types. Hopefully that will be enough for five minutes, but you never know.
His move.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by BLOODYRAIN10001:
Originally posted by jerenator:
Originally posted by BLOODYRAIN10001:
Originally posted by Pigjr1:

I got to level 69 on tetris.

I got to level 36.
6+3=9
9 to the power of 2 is 81
81 Devided by 6 is 13.5
13.5 times 5 is 67.5
67.5 plus 3 times 5 is 69.
Oh yeah.
Poop. Haw haw haw.

Where did you get the 2 and the 5 from?

From the 25 times I raped your mom.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

undead being an utter retard

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Darkspell (Game Thread)

Konrad Engels
I chuckle. It’s a pretty disturbing sound.
“I don’t have too much trouble with not dying.”
I look at the fourth man, possibly to the surprise of some in the room.
“You give off a vampiric feel to me. I am a lich. I don’t have any blood. Therefore, facing off against you would be the most logical choice, no?”
There are no corpses anywhere nearby, and my capacity to make them is nonexistent. My most powerful magic is out of the question. I’m just glad I took those courses in Shielding and attack spells.

TIMESKIP LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by myhome16:

EVERYONE CALM DOWN.
BE CALM.
OR I WILL SHOW YOU ALL
PAGE 99.

KNOOB. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.
AND YOU FIRESPREAD.
AND ROSTATE.

EVERY ONE SHOULD JUST CALM DOWN AND STOP YELLING.

How about you go fuck yourself?

Originally posted by myhome16:

Also, Hatsune Miku English is out. I am the waiting for YouTube to explode.

>yfw only weeabos will watch this

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Kongregate D&D - Character Creation

Originally posted by yiu113:
Originally posted by Firespread:

What roles are currently filled? Either gonna make Richard the Dread Nercomancer 2: Richard harder, a Necromancer Cleric, or an INT:1 meatshield if really needed. I’m just feeling the undead minions right now.

Good luck having INT 1, considering I don’t allow characters with stats under 8.

So wat make? If nobody’s filled a certain role I can rolefill.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Kongregate D&D - Character Creation

What roles are currently filled? Either gonna make Richard the Dread Nercomancer 2: Richard harder, a Necromancer Cleric, or an INT:1 meatshield if really needed. I’m just feeling the undead minions right now.