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Topic: Off-topic / How do you handle a woman with PMS?

How do you make a woman less bitchy ( “GO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING SANDWICH” ) and more cooperative ( “Yes master, would you like extra mayonnaise or mustard?” )

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1
I take Corvin’s consideration into account.

“I estimate that the probability of attack by unknown biological entities at 85%. Your proposal to wait for others is logical.”

I put my guns away.

“Query: Do you currently have any nutritious substances stored in this facility?”

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1
I consider between the person’s choices. He stated that the probability of finding survivors would be 0%, so I decide to follow him, though in a stealthy fashion, and observe and follow him.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1
Replying to his comment about me being a combat bot, i state “Model: Unit 1 Hybrid Assassination Droid Prototype. I am programmed with 63,479 ways to diplomatically resolve a situation, 10,236,703 ways to inflict damage to a biological entity, and 476 ways to kill a biological entity. State your credentials.”

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

╔════╗
║Bump║
╚════╝

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Look for me as the Dominion of the Unified Regions of Mu.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / A flood of newfigs is approaching

Originally posted by MoustacheSniper:

hey guise look oc
Posts words on a picture they found on Google
am i funy yt.

Oh sheit, it’s already happening.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1
My voice recognition software picks up a human voice, coming from somewhere nearby. I turn to him.
In a creepy hybrid of a robotic and human voice, I say "Subject: Biological, Species: Terran. " I search my databanks for diplomatic options. I tone it down to one small, friendly maneuver; not too friendly, but a gesture for peace.

I slowly walk toward the agent, while putting my pistols away, and putting my hand out in a formal gesture known commonly as a “handshake”.

“If you will cooperate, I am willing to enter into a mutual diplomatic agreement with you.” (The word ‘friendship’ isn’t exactly the first thing the voice programmers thought to implement.)

However, a few subroutines also bring to my attention a few moves that could easily kill this person, if he meant harm.

“Are you peaceable?” I ask.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / A Study Shows That

Originally posted by fma1:

But what could you do to stop them from having voluntary sex out of their own free will?

More sex.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / A Study Shows That

A study shows that we should really stop saying “a study shows” before it becomes a retarded meme.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Methamphetamine Legalization

We should legalize Vandalism, that yould make it a lot more fun to break people’s windows.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

(How far is Ideron from Aladria?)

Unit 1
Due to standard protocol programming, Unit 1 decided to search around for more survivors. I start searching around for potential survivors in the wreckage, however, I couldn’t find any. Many of the buildings appear to have been bombed out with some kind of firebombs, which may provide clues as to what happened to everyone.

Suddenly, a mutoid staggers out of the alley. When he notices me, he roars in a hunger-filled scream, and charges towards me. Without even thinking, I quickly put a tank-piercing round in his skull, and shoot another one that quickly ran out of the alley as well.

However, a mutoid came up behind me, attempting to get me in a choke hold. As he grasps his arm around my neck, I grab it with my hands and snap his arm in half. As he staggered backwards, roaring in pain, I take another tank-piercing round and put it through his head as well.

I walk over to the still-warm corpse of the mutoid, kicking it gently with my foot to make sure it was dead and to find any helpful items.

Not finding any, I realize that stealth would be a better option. I gently pull of the mutoid’s shirt and pants and put them on, then pull off his hat and put it on as well.

I looked down at the mutoid, who, in his underwear with a giant hole in his head, would have been somewhat funny to any other being.

But being a robot designed to kill meant that emotion wasn’t a possible option.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1
The failsafe mechanism suggests that I should go to a person named Zane Fendris. Unfortunately, I do not know who or what he is. I pull myself up from the pile of garbage and pick my pistols up, then head back out onto the street, keeping a cautious eye on other movements.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

(Actually, I wasn’t looking up data on the mutoids, I was getting data on offensive martial arts techniques.)

Unit 1
As I continue walking down the street, the fail-safe system discovers a malfunction in the logic system. Due to the malfunction, the fail-safe system kicks in and overrides the main system (me) and takes over main control.

Unit 1 Failsafe System (FS)
The Failsafe System deactivates all combat-related subroutines. As the system starts to power down, all subroutines shut down, one after the other. Unit 1 barely makes it into a somewhat safe alley before faceplanting directly into a trash can.

Several Hours Pass By

Unit 1
Within the core systems, a small cloud of nanodroids starts back up and begins repairing the damaged logic circuits.

Several million dollars went well into the making of this robot, indeed.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1

As several organic life forms approached me, I quickly discerned their movements as hostile, and activated a Riot Horn, which is basically a machine that makes a screech powerful enough to rupture the inner ear drum at point-blank range. The stronger mutoids grabbed at their bleeding ears, trying to block out the ear-splitting screech, while some of the weaker mutoids did the same or simply ran away. I quickly brought up one of the numerous martial arts programs in my data banks. Quickly sifting through the unarmed offensive movements, I delivered a series of lightning-fast kicks and punches that quickly left my opponents in agony. I quickly shot them all through the skull with my tank-piercing rounds, effectively ending their lives. I quickly move down the street, activating an adrenaline rush in my organic components, and keeping a wary eye on all movements. I felt no remorse for the pitiful creatures.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Whats better

Tesla Coil.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (gameplay)

Unit 1

REACTIVATING CORE PROGRAMS

1%
50%
100%

CORE PROGRAMS REACTIVATED.
REACTIVATING OPTICS_Subroutine, MUSCLE_Subroutine, SENSEORY_Subroutine

1%
50%
100%

SYSTEM REBOOT COMPLETED.

Optics systems coming online.

I take a visual of my surroundings, and find that I am in the middle of a street, lyiing on the road. Numerous ruined structures, burnt-out vehicles, and dusty skeletons litter the street, wearing tattered clothes and grasping makeshift signs. Language subroutines identify the message as saying “No More Myst Experiments”.
As I shift around on my legs, regaining the feeling in my leg muscles, I move over to another person. They seem like protesters, but since they are dead now, I cannot identify them.
I pull out my pair of Riot control Pistols and move over to one of the vehicles. I reach into one of them and pull out a few Tank-piercing cartridges, and put them into my pistols. I then jog over to a squat structure, and stand in the doorway, scanning for any organic life signs.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (OOC + Config)

I’m going to go ahead and assume that this is accepted so I can start playing.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Appocolypse RPG (OOC + Config)

Name: Droid Prototype Unit 1 “Cyborg”
Race: Mecha
Level: N/A
Location: A large street, filled with rubble and skeletons. There are numerous barricades around the area, along with Police vehicles. Apparently this was the site of a riot shortly before the disaster.
Bio: I was a prototype mecha soldier designed to quell the riots that sprouted up through the city. However, I was caught in the middle of the disaster when I was trying to quell a riot in the city. I have lain here for years, until a magnetic anomaly reactivated my inner parts.
Appearance: Unit 1 has a smooth layer of titanium and glass over it’s humanoid body, as opposed to other mecha, which are made of rough metal plates. At various parts throughout the body are bullet-proof glass viewing areas, which provide a view into the interior parts of it’s body, which have organic muscles enhanced by cybernetic implants. The chest is made up of a mixture of glass and titanium, which provides more views into the interior, showing various organs attached to cybernetic processors and implants. There are also various gel packs, wires, and carbon nanotubes scattered throughout the figure.
Specials:
Super Strength: Unit 1 has super strength imbued by it’s combination of organic muscles and cybernetic parts. As such, Unit 1 is able to lift very heavy objects, such as cars, with a considerable amount of effort. Allows for picking up heavy objects and very high jumps. Also means it can run for a long time before having to release heat.
Enhanced Senses: Unit 1’s combination of organic and cybernetic components give it the ultimate combination of organic ability and cybernetic precision. This means very precise cuts, shots, movements, etc.
Organic Components: Unit 1 has organic components integrated into it’s system,
which allows for actions to be performed much longer before Unit 1 has to release heat, unlike other robots, which have to release built-up heat energy often.
Training: Unit 1 is able to create and teach new attack routines to itself. It is also able to teach other robots by cable hook-up, and organic creatures by verbal conversation.
Combat: Unit 1 was designed to fight terrorists, rioters, criminals, and soldiers. As such, a large amount of combat experience is availible to Unit 1 on a whim. However, it also is programmed with diplomatic options, so that it is able to negotiate with people.
Hits: 350
Stamina: N/A
Oxy: N/A
Food/Fuel: 3500
Radons: N/A
Toxins: N/A
Sanity: 1500/1500
Inven: Two Nr16 “Pounder” Riot Control Pistols (Designed to fire bullets at high velocity), Nr16 Tank Piercing Rounds (Fits in the Riot Control Pistols, designed to punch through heavy armor plating), Portable Energy Cell Recharging Station (PECRS, recharges energy cells using solar power), an Nr16 Electric Taser, a Protectra Inc. Portable Battering Ram, and that’s about it.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The Sandwich Game.

26. A Manwich.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ~*'*' Le Restaurant á l’OT '*'*~

By now, I’m sure, everyone here has died of starvation.

STARVATION.

Wow, this is a horrible restaurant.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ASCII 3: The Rule-Following Addition.

Originally posted by Ninjitsu_Pirate:
Originally posted by cesarcurado:
Originally posted by undeadcupcake3:

              ▲
             ▲▲

╔════════════════╗
║Newfags can’t Triforce ║
╚════════════════╝

  ▲
▲ ▲

im pro at triforce

its pretty easy


▲ ▲

╔════════════════════════╗
║Newfags can’t Triforce… Yet Again║
╚════════════════════════╝

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ASCII 3: The Rule-Following Addition.

Originally posted by cesarcurado:
Originally posted by undeadcupcake3:

              ▲
             ▲▲

╔════════════════╗
║Newfags can’t Triforce ║
╚════════════════╝

  ▲
▲ ▲

im pro at triforce

Impressive.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ASCII 3: The Rule-Following Addition.

              ▲
             ▲▲

╔════════════════╗
║Newfags can’t Triforce ║
╚════════════════╝

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: United States’ States that were States Before 1800)

Titanium, because tits