Recent posts by Laurapalooza on Kongregate

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Topic: The Godfather / Internet Explorer problem.

Or you could download Firefox and stop bitching about a browser that’s only purpose is to download a better one.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Why are amateur developers being targeted with hateful comments?

You need to have thick skin if you’re going to create anything and have people commenting on it. You just ignore the people who are clearly idiots doing the things you said and concentrate on the proper reviews, ones that have constructive criticism.

Also


hardcore video gamer

Are you serious?

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

Originally posted by Metalrodent:

And died a slooooooooooooooooow painful death, they descended into hell where Laurapalooza greeted them with open wings… (sorry, i just ran out of character names)

(Not at all my good sir, we all know it would be me that greeted them.)

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

A thousand penises rained down from the sky, and as Ty looked up into the barrage of disembodied genitals, for some reason, he finally felt at peace.

He closed his eyes and let go. And then Ty was the dead.

The ice cream van and Fred got married and had kids.

Also everyone else died.

Years later

Fred was getting ready for work at the office, kissing his small children and wife, the ice cream van, goodbye before stepping outside onto the driveway and getting into his car.

It had been years since the terrible events that had caused the deaths of his friends, and yet it had brought him to his one and only love, the ice cream van. At least something good came of it.

It was to be just another normal day at the office.

Or was it?

Turns out it was, and he had a great last day of the week at work before heading home to watch a movie with his family until the kids fell asleep in front of the TV. He and his wife put them to bed, made sweet, sweet love and fell asleep.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

When she turned to see who it was she was horrified to discover Ronald McDonald standing there. He slowly lifted his other hand, gripping tightly a knife.

Lucy felt a chill run down her spine, but then he said something which surprised her.

“You have nothing to fear, Lucy. I am here to help you. I am going to teach you how to unlock your hidden power. Look deep within yourself, you know that a great power lies there, you must only believe, and it shall become a reality, yours to control.”

There was a short silence in which Lucy looked at the terrifying clown, doubtful of his words.

“Seriously, do it or I’ll knife you in the kidneys.”

“Okay! God,” Lucy grunted, looking within herself as Ronald had instructed.

In her mind’s eye she could see a small glow. Slowly but surely it grew larger, until it was a clear, shining ball of light. She willed herself to be able to wield its great might, and then all of a sudden she felt a great surge of power run through her veins.

She outstretched her arms, pointing them in the direction of her enemy, summoning up all the new power within herself and aiming it directly towards ADOLF BARACK OSAMA HUSSEIN HITLER.

A flash of light broke the darkness of the sky, and thousands of frogs rained down upon the land. Green frogs, fat frogs, frogs in tiny hats; frogs of all shapes, sizes, colours and general WTFery fell to the earth below, piling up all over.

“What the hell!?” Lucy cried. “What kind of power is this!?” She turned to Ronald McDonald for an answer, but he was gone. She cried out unto the heavens above that were still gushing frogs all over the place, but it appeared her cries would go unanswered.

Suddenly her boobs grew to about fifty times their normal size.

“Not again!” she thought.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, WILL MY TORMENT NEVER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!?”

 

Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

Back at the palace, one of the servants came to tell the Queen that her husband was dead.

“No, it can’t be so, what will I tell the children?!” She sobbed, burying her face in her hands.

It took a while to pull herself together, but then she went to visit the children, who were playing happily in the playroom. She took them off to one side and sat them down, telling them the terrible news.

Later than night the police were at the palace, due to one of the servants finding the bodies of the children and the Queen of Corn, bathed in blood from the Queen’s last acts, taking the lives of her children before herself, unable to bear the pain that the death of her husband caused.

And the Kingdom of Corn fell into darkness. Before long, all its inhabitants died out, and with them, the legacy of the once great kingdom.

Meanwhile Lucy’s breasts randomly expanded to be five times larger than her head.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Last 3 Letters into 3 New Words

Endless enema sex.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Anti Weeaboo Alliance

Hmm, well, I don’t hate weeaboos, but I sure hate people who like video games, so I’ll make an anti-video game alliance, shall I?

In case you couldn’t figure it out from my comment there, YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

“If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe I’d been married long time ago, where did you come from where did you go? Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe,” dancing a jig as he went. It was at that moment roughly twenty-seven chickens fell from the sky above his head and littered the ground around him, all but one that sat upon his bonce and declared himself “Señor Chickenhat”, despite all chickens being female.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Interactive Story Don't let it die!

…came to realise for the first time he was a zombie. He proceeded to break dance, however his left leg broke off and flew into the face of…

 
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Topic: General Gaming / A lot of you little kiddo's don't know this, so I'll tell you..

Originally posted by rainbowsharpie:

can u giv me the clik theng that take me 2 dino run

lik the 1 2 u tube

What in the sweet Jesus…?

Dude. Learn. English.