Recent posts by MrErratic on Kongregate

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Topic: Off-topic / Revenge

So once I was fighting with this old British chap
when a Russian naval submarine totally launched a torpedo at me
I managed to survive
and had a breakfast of
one poultry chicken
two fried and sauteed lasagna with lemon hintings
and thought that the battle was inconclusive
so I went to Russia
and I learned that they were once in the Cold War with the US
and I thought about the Bay of Pigs
and wondered why Charlotte liked Wilbur so much
and then I killed a famous Russian military officer
I felt bad about it
But then I read a nihilist social commentary
and felt better

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I got a 2TB harddrive!

So I was reading some of those lifehacker articles
and they said that a hard drive is pretty much uselesss
they also recommended putting a lazy susan in my fridge
and this all just makes me think: where are they going?
fridges, lazy susans, lemon pepper on eggs, scissors with oranges, and such
they’re so random
I have to print a college essay, but I only have about 500GB of memory
it’s a long essay but I think it’ll fit
I installed a solid state drive
But I wonder if there is gaseous or liquid state drive

 
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Topic: Off-topic / BKAAAAAAAAW, lets settle this like real men

you know
my Mexican gardener used to own some chickens
and he would make them fight while he did the garden
it was really fun
but I guess
if a pig and a chicken fought
the pig would squeal and be fast
but the chicken would have talons
so I don’t know
but they both sound yummy

 
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Topic: Off-topic / The Official good night thread!

well you know
if cats eat that piece of string
a human might think its a worm
and overreact and do something rash
I know this because one of my close friends did this
and now he’s under the dirt
mining away, because he was late to the California Gold Rush

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Man, I HATE CUTTING THE GRASS

you know cutting the grass isn’t too hard
you should face the chore of melting a large golden iguana while cooking rice for a family of 4
and then shaping that golden heated metal into a turtle
it’s quite challenging, as quoted by various famous authors of books

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I think there's a pebble inside my foot...

my sister once ate a pebble
only it wasn’t a pebble, it was a lightbulb
it got stuck inside her small intestine

 
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Topic: Off-topic / OT will never be the same without ________!

OT will never be the same without leonard kleinrock
because he was the one who thought up of packet switching
which contributed to the internet
and without him the internet may have been invented much much later
and kongregate might never have been created
plus he is jim greer’s father

 
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Topic: Off-topic / What building has the most stories?

I don’t think so
maybe an old people resort is a building with the most stories
because old people have a lot of stories
like this one time
I went to go care for old people
and they told me this really long story
it was about how they once had lost a golf ball
and fought an alligator to retrieve the golf ball

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Shocked

well you know
that monkey looks a lot like my grandpa when I poured cold water down his pants
maybe evolution?

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I stole some chocolates

lick them each a few times until they are sticky
then stick them together to make a fortress
buy a gun and shoot people from behind your fortress
you will be invincible, like my friend Jim
except he’s dead

 
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Topic: Off-topic / You Laugh; You Lose

if this thread made me constipated, does that mean I lost or I won
because I always considered pooping to be in close relation to laughter
after all, that’s what they teach in schools nowadays and schools are good

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Exactly what type of music do you people like?

Music sung by nude Russians while an Australian man wearing a skirt plays classical violin

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Why did the corn cob stop telling his joke to the other corn cob?

It was too cheesy.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I brought a new car.

it looks my uncle’s car only it’s not a car and it’s a couch and it’s in his living room
it’s genius, really
who would think of a couch being used as a comfortable device for sitting on rather than a car
but then again, driving couches has been proven to be 100% safer than driving cars
it’s practically made out of safety cushions

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I have made a new invention.

well that’s not a very nice name
the kids are likely to make fun of him at school and call him stuff like
intertarded
or
internetupid
or
internetpoopy
and that’s not cool
i would have named him something plain and simple
like Mohajaka Zimbabwe

 
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Topic: Off-topic / What would you say to the above user's avatar?

that is not my beard that is my confetti
i was eating it
you see, i am diabetic and can’t really eat anything sweet
so i prefer to eat my confetti, which on the can says that it is great for all party situations
and all parties get started when i start eating my confetti
but yeah if your avatar were dancing
in ballroom
and i was the beast
and you were the beauty
that would be cool

 
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Topic: Off-topic / What would you say to the above user's avatar?

I once drank pepsi
It was a really hot pepsi
because it was a hot day
probably because of global warming
my mother always told me global warming wasn’t true, but then she always sweated a lot after a long night of bouncing on her bed with my daddy
I don’t know though

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Why is fish not considered meat?

well it probably took some form of travel, probably a boat or a submarine or maybe a long super indestructable metal wormy thingy that dug into it or a combination of both

 
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Topic: Off-topic / 48÷2(9+3) = ??? 2 or 288

You, sir, are invalid.

well I did get in a car accident recently
but i didn’t lose the function of any of my body parts so i don’t think i’m invalid
unless i’ve been internally bleeding and this is all a dream
in which case i need to go deeper

 
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Topic: Off-topic / what do you do to fall asleep?

my grandma likes to sing screamo songs until I fall asleep
they remind me of my pet bats whom i love so dearly
speaking of bats i need bat food for my bat man

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Why is fish not considered meat?

that means spongebob lives in the earth’s core
which means pineapples originated from the inner core
which can only mean one thing which is my grandma lied to me about the origins of fruits
or maybe the garden of eve was in the earth’s core or hell
but not the michigan one

 
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Topic: Off-topic / 48÷2(9+3) = ??? 2 or 288

48/2(9+3)
24(9+3)
216(+ 3)
219
2+1+9
12
1+2
3
0 1 1 2 3
[0, 1, 1, 2, 3]
7(8)
56
5+6
1(1)
1+1
Fish

 
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Topic: Off-topic / TT's Potpourri Quiz

1) I think the most important property of concrete that made romans use it was the Colosseum
because if you think about it whoever owned that piece of property must have gotten pretty rich
a lot of commercial value and stuff
my dad said if he owned a colosseum he would put me in it and i would get to have a playdate with lions
2) asjbsfgvidfjaoksfasjknimlo;kmajnhbgydcfasijfkmajhfuaqijfkqjhfuig
its about 3 or so letters
3) the most regulated substance has to be mexicans
there are just so many coming in you know
my grandpa says in his day when he was on border patrol he would practice aiming at mexicans crossing the border
4) the catapult
i see how you worded the question to include the answer
very clever
reminds me of my horse and his questions at night
5) Hawaii
the hawaiin period of time when everything was hot

 
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Topic: Off-topic / ot needs moar BOXXY

you spelled it wrong
it is spelled “boxxx” not “boxxy”
so i’m guessing you want some xxx huh
well i personally like my boxes old and used

 
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Topic: Off-topic / what would you do if you were deaf?

i would have my name officially changed from deaf back to Mr. Erratic because i really like my name
i bought on sale at target, using a half off coupon and i’ve kept it since
it reminds me of the grilling hamburgers