Topic: Serious Discussion /
We should let the old and weak die? Or not?
Why does society allow people to get so old that they lose their dignity and lose all quality of life, just to stay physically alive? My family insisted that my Grandma stay alive at all costs, even though she has been in a nursing home for 3 years, and broke her hip 7 months ago. She was taken to the hospital where she broke her leg and pelvis, and no surgeon would agree to operate due to her age and weakness.
So for the last 5 months she has been in a bizarre cast with all sorts of wires and cords holding her in a specific way, in a attempt to allow her 98 year old body to ‘mend’ her bones even though the doctor said they will not mend correctly without surgery. Surgery they refuse to do.
Every time I go see her, she is moaning and crying, and has told each of our family members separately that the pain is too much and that she wants to die in the way that " Mr. BooBoo died at Doc Pauls ".( Mr. BooBoo was her cat of 21 years who she had to have humanely euthanized )
She said that Mr. BooBoo ‘just went to sleep’ and that is how she wants do die, not hanging almost in the air. My family members all want her to ‘pull through’ and that she just needs to keep hanging on. I am the only one in my family who even ‘dared’ talk about what grandma said to everyone, and I have been accused of wanting to murder grandma. My family is very angry at me and blames ‘college’ for putting these ideas into my head.
I tried to put forth my argument, but they totally refuse to discuss anything, and they said that humans have the right to live their lives until the end, and that no one not even the person who is sick has the right to say otherwise. She said they will not allow grandma to commit suicide after she has lived such a rich and fruitful life. They also said if anyone else ‘helped’ grandma, that they would be charged with murder.
So I said in return that having grandma almost hanging in the air with bizarre casts and not able to move, with bed sores and slowly dying all the while suffering pain and crying all the time, is dignified? Grandma has a memory of her loved cat Mr. BooBoo being given ’a shot and then he went to sleep with no movement or pain and it was so peaceful ’ and society has the right to deny a individual the right to end the suffering when no hope of recovery? I ask them also what do they want a 98 year old woman to recover for, to DO? Run a race? Take up a new hobby such as swimming long distances? I then said they are being selfish.
They have not talked to me since, and just today I found out that somehow they have persuaded the hospital to not allow me to see my own grandmother. I have no idea how they did this, because the only one allowed to do this is my grandma, the patient. So now I am torn because who knows what poison my family is telling my grandmother. I have been very close to her for all my life, and I know she would not do this. I also suspect the family members told the hospital about my feelings and they are protecting the butts legally or something.
I have no intention of giving my grandmother drugs or helping her to do what she wishes. Now my living family members think I am insane or something, and our relationships have changed.
I must say that my family is very liberal, we are not close minded conservatives nor are we religious. I was shocked at these well educated people having such a hard line in not even discussing this.
I used to think politics and religion are not things to discuss with family members, but apparently end of life matters are the real problem!
So now that you know the topic, let us talk about the moral and legal issues I talked about above. Why are people so scared to even discuss these things?