Recent posts by Schmoofz on Kongregate

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Topic: Off-topic / Compliments <3

Your avatar is quite pink.

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Topic: Off-topic / that feel when there's a good chance stalin is your great grandfather

I have a beard, so I must be related to Jesus.

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Topic: Off-topic / ITT: Your favorite song to fap to

Beethoven. That magnificent fucker is deaf.

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Topic: Off-topic / What are you thankful for, OT?

I’m thankful for being Asian. Although being Asian has its own disadvantages- such as fapping experience-, I can still read math equations like reading 50 Shades of Grey.

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Topic: Kongregate / Tip Jar question.

How does a developer get the Tip Jar in their game?

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Topic: Kongregate / Kreds question.

oh, k.

So he’d get real money instead of Kreds?

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Topic: Kongregate / Kreds question.

I’m willing to trade some sort of shit you wouldn’t care about, and I’d like to pay him with Kreds. I got 350 Kreds, and I’m too lazy to go buy some game card.

He’s a Dev. The question is: will he get all the kreds I fund to his game? So, I’m giving him 150 kreds, will he get 150 kreds?

Kind regards.

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Topic: Off-topic / Something I remember from my childhood

Oh, oh! I remember! I was coming out of my mum’s vagina and my penis was erect and then my mum and me fucked to the left, fucked to the right and we had a baby!

Really, I used to like The Angry Beaver and Real Monsters.


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Topic: Kongregate / The Quahog Challenge - 10 lucky winners!

I’ll try my luck. I wasn’t struck by a lightning, so I guess this won’t result in an ultimatum.

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Topic: Off-topic / I gotta do a really long Swimming race any tips?

Walk it.

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Topic: Off-topic / I need some anime recommendations.

Okay, so c’est me, living in a locked room. I was fapping to Dragonball GT, but then I finished the whole Dragonball series.

Any of you know any good anime?


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Topic: Off-topic / Rate the song above you. V.2

7/10, nice.

ACDC- Thunderstruck

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Topic: Off-topic / what math are you in?

Math? What math? You must be mistaken with Meth.

I finished Multivariable Calculus last year, starting on Differential Equations this year. Fuck quantum physics.

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Topic: Off-topic / ITT: We pretend we're in the 2300s.

“So, Mum, when are you going to lost 100 nanograms? I’m only at 9001 stones!”

“But, Son! 100 nanograms are too much for me.”

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Topic: Off-topic / You are now Russian when you enter this thread.

So, am I now like Doofenschmirtz?



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Topic: Off-topic / ITT: We pretend we're in the 2300s.

Hey! My penis is bigger than average, .2 inches!

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Topic: Off-topic / You piece of mother fucking fuckers are a bunch of fucking bitches now go fu--

He said fuck.


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Topic: Off-topic / Favorite non-kong website?

Uh, Infinity Blade II thingy?

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Topic: Off-topic / What's your shoe size?

2 child. I’ma midget.

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Topic: Off-topic / if kongregate had a blackout tomrrow for 1 day what woould you do

Pack my guns, load ’em, go outside. Kill everyone who gets in my way.


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Topic: Off-topic / The story of how I disinfected my finger.

I was fingering my girlfriend, she had blue waffle. End of story.

EDIT: She just apparently took a piss. Meh.

DOUBLE EDIT: ’twas a perfect day in the North Pole. I decided the pole looked delicious, so I licked it. And, holy shit, my tongue froze to the pole. Took my middle finger, tried to cut the ice with it. ’twas too cold for the finger, I took it away and put it in the freezing water.

Frostbite+Fish Bites+infection= enraged women

So, I went to this MILF’s house 200 miles to the north. Once I reached there, I slept with her. Then she made me a sandwich.

9 months later

Got a son. He looked hideous, like a scaly fish. I was breastfeeding my son when suddenly, he blackflipped and bite’d my still infected finger. He took away the heaven knows what fillings.

3 days later

Finger grew, with an extraordinarily humongous sized finger for extra-fun finger wrestle.


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Topic: Off-topic / since tinychat went gae and started making people pay for decent-looking camming, we need to find a different site

1. Make Google+ account
2. Create Hangout
3. Invite people

Leave me a message if you want a Google+ invitation.

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Topic: Kongregate / Kongregate should blackout for a day in response to SOPA.

Sites that are blacking out

All the sites that are blacking out

EDIT: Sigh. Never mind. Nothing works.

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Topic: TDP4 Team Battle / CMM VS ABC

RageBreakerGuy, avoid doing that.

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Topic: TDP4 Team Battle / Should I...

Should I sell my Assassin and SAW to get WA? If I do sell both of them, I can afford it.