Recent posts by hamuka on Kongregate

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Topic: Kongregate / Your Pants Presents: Badge of the Week! (Week of 8/31: Bullet Audyssey)

One of my favourite bullet hell games ever made. Ty for making this the BoTW. :D

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Which game brought you to Kongregate?

Originally posted by Gabidou99:

Learn To Fly 2.

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Jack of All Trades (Round 5)

Jesus Christ, you guys are dead. Kinda glad I didn’t advance.

Well, since I did want to choose Shooter for R5 before that [redacted]ing [redacted] Sunshine came in, I might as well check Touhou out. :p

EDIT: Well. The name is pretty apt, I have to say. All I can do is wish the best of luck to Lem and m0usSe, you guys will clearly need it.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Official Rant Thread

Originally posted by PerfectTwelve:

HH

Thank you for this piece of valuable information

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Are you afraid of anything?

Originally posted by Ruudiluca:

Humanity

Exactly

 

Topic: Off-topic / Do this and get your score

This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Topic: Off-topic / Kongregate Age Test

@OP: That’s a pretty crappy imitation of the creepypasta
I mean it’s not spatial dimension-shattering, like it’s supposed to be according to the original, the buildings just collapse and Mickey dies, that’s it
Ok that and a shitty jumpscare that never appeared in the original

@cassette: As Kuzco said, the pen is used to turn the tape
@Clippy: I remember him being in Microsoft Word ’03, I never really minded him

Honestly all of these tests kinda suck at determining actual age

 

Topic: Off-topic / Do this and get your score

This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Topic: Off-topic / Do this and get your score

45

I think more points is worse so I consider this meh

 
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Topic: Kongregate / SUGGESTION: a whale forum

Originally posted by TurkeyPie:
Originally posted by hamuka:

TP confirmed to get demodded by ’16

what

>criticizing something gamestop makes money from

 
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Topic: Forum Games: Forum Games / [CYOP/CYOA/Insanity] Randomness² - still the most idiotic thing you'll ever play! (Under new management!)

Goddamnit it’s been more than 2 weeks, wut

sighs Fine, let’s do this.


>eat a banana seductively in front of 10crystalmask01 in order to convince him

Convince him to do what? Considering the game consists of ~80% gay sex I assume it’s that, but he didn’t need any more convincing for that considering all the stuff you did with him before. But whatever, sure, let’s go for it.

(RFAZMED (not gonna type it all out) rolls 5+4=9)

It turns out to be immensely successful, making not only crystal jump on you and have sex with you immediately, but also everyone else in your general vicinity (excluding BLOODY, who is still recording with that potato despite his literal butthurt).
You also drained some more magical power from the gods (+10 to be exact) along with making the die flash even more and making it gain an extra number (for those keeping track, we’ve literally went up to 11 now). It doesn’t really look safe anymore either, maybe it’s gonna become a shitty plot device later on.

>gain 500 fame for no apparent reason

But the game doesn’t work this way. Then again, it is supposed to be random, so things are supposed to happen for no apparent- ok you know what, fine. It’s not like your current stash is not enough to gain literally every skill you can think of anyway, this just reinforces that fact. (+500 Fame)

>find hamuka and fuck him in order to dra-

No. You can find me, fine, I need to get the plot going (hi there Gonkey, BTW, nice job making your way here), but the rest is just… no.

>using your MAGICAL GUY POWERS create a new universe filled with gay guy mlp r34

Well… I guess you can try that. That’s gonna take a lot of magical potential, though, hope you know that.

(Unsafe RFAZMED rolls 3+5=8)

Not that it means too much at this point.
You do so with a snap of a finger. The gods look on in a mix of disbelief, horror and sheer respect (+50) as you, a mortal, just casually whip up a universe filled with 100% male Amazing Technicolor Wildlife who are all having sexual intercourse with eachother (did I mention that this game made me lose my goddamn mind?) without putting any noticeable effort into doing so.
Every god watching the ordeal, myself included, just stand there for a while, before looking at eachother, knowing that if we don’t do something about this, fast, you’re probably going to become so strong that you’ll be able to obliterate us in a heartbeat.

And guess what, someone’s gonna do something about this soon enough. The bad news is that we’re still not safe.


>nikeas continues sharpening weapons

You take out a katana and start to polish it using a whetstone and some sandpaper. Meanwhile, you relax and sharpen your mental weapons by opening a spell tome and repeating spells in your head.
Clearly, this is gonna take a while without an ally. Not to worry though, one’s coming right up.


>Kuzco travels back in time

You do just that. Turns out that gay rape made you able to time travel or something, even though Gonkey never had time travel skills to begin with. Meanwhile, Logic cries due to him getting ignored so many times in the game.

>after that, transform to Gonkey’s secret crush, Shrek

You do so without any effort. Logic’s tears start to pool up on the astral plane’s floor.

>proceed to butt rape Gonkey

…Why. Just why.

You do so. You know, jokes aside, I’m starting to actually lose faith in humanity thanks to the game.

>leave a mighty roar

♪ And you’re gonna hear me rooooaaar ♫


EDIT: Sorry guys, I think I’ll need the shelve the next part of the parsing for later. This heat wave over here has made me so sick I actually fainted while writing this up (and wrote in some mumbojumbo by faceplanting into the keyboard), just got thrown back into consciousness via bucket of cold water. I’ll probably stay the rest of the day in bed, and we’re contemplating going to the hospital as well just to be safe, so if you contact me, don’t expect a response for the next few hours or even days.

kthnxcyaall

~hamuka

 
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Topic: Off-topic / [OT OFFICIAL ELIMINATION GAMES] Season Five [FINISHED]

Pokarnor, because literally who

 
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Topic: Kongregate / Kongregate Tournament Sign-Ups & Directory

I also may or may not take up the 49th tourney. Depends on school.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Youtube Gaming is doomed lol

Originally posted by burntfires22:
Originally posted by uzzbuzz:

That reminds me of how YouTube’s been going back and telling me my old vids have copyright music in them a lot lately. It just says there an auto copyright claim so there’ll be ads but it won’t affect your account. That sort of message.

Now these are videos with <50 views for random flash games, so I thought it was kind of funny that they picked that up. (Like the music in Monster’s Den…how do they even?)

That happened with one of my vids too… Had like 15 views at the time..

This makes me worry about my own vids :/

Honestly old YT was way better

 
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Topic: Kongregate / SUGGESTION: a whale forum

Originally posted by TurkeyPie:

Whale, what’s there to say?



I think the amount of money being spend on the most simple games is ridiculous. I understand if users buy small things (I don’t do it myself, and if it’s like TDP4, it’s still extremely irritating to others), but at this point it’s the massive amount of developers that virtually beg for money that annoys me the most.

TP confirmed to get demodded by ’16

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Braces yo

Y, Y, N, green, N

8 months in, still hate them as much as I did the first day
Doesn’t help that the braces regularly tear up my cheeks to the point of actual bleeding due to retarded placement
Didn’t get bullied for it though, for the most part people didn’t really give a shit

 

Topic: Off-topic / My thoughts on people telling others to kill themselves

This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Topic: Off-topic / is GRAPHICDESIGNC one of the most cringey and unfunny users on OT?

Originally posted by Mikkmar:
Originally posted by heatblast1:

literally all the posts i see from him make me cringe.

he thinks hes fucking hilarious and a comedy genius or something, but really hes just making himself look like an awkward cringeworthy piece of shit

hes the type of guy who goes on a open-mic stand up comedy show and tells knock knock jokes.

i just cant stand this guy

Dude, that’s basically a description of you, ’cept instead of the stand up comedy shit, you did this shit on TC.

What the fuck’s that first pic

 
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Topic: Off-topic / smoked too much peruvian crack, found myself on the top roof of a skyscraper.

Originally posted by dias17se:
Originally posted by hamuka:
Originally posted by dias17se:

Why would you leave home without your personal parachute ? I take mine everywhere even starbucks !

Parachutes don’t do shit at that height y’know
Just pointing it out because I think some OTers would actually try using one

@OP go check if there are any balconies sticking out of the skyscraper, if there are, try jumping onto one nearby and go out through the house, dodge any projectiles the house’s owner may throw at you

Snake did it in the Metal Gear Solid 3 Intro, why should i trust a 14 year old hungarian over a billion dollar franchise ?

1.) *15

2.) You don’t have to
I’d like it if you trusted my good friend Google though

 
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Topic: Off-topic / smoked too much peruvian crack, found myself on the top roof of a skyscraper.

Originally posted by dias17se:

Why would you leave home without your personal parachute ? I take mine everywhere even starbucks !

Parachutes don’t do shit at that height y’know
Just pointing it out because I think some OTers would actually try using one

@OP go check if there are any balconies sticking out of the skyscraper, if there are, try jumping onto one nearby and go out through the house, dodge any projectiles the house’s owner may throw at you

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Mental illnesses aren't real

Originally posted by Ubervierte:

You know very well rain existed before God even created us. Psychology is new.

And how is that related to the fact that it proves your argument false?

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Mental illnesses aren't real

Originally posted by Ubervierte:

Nothing you said makes any sense. Rain and war have nothing to do with mental illness.

You said that if something benefits anyone, it’s a fabrication. Rain benefits people, but it isn’t a fabrication.
You said that if something doesn’t make you comfortable, it doesn’t exist. War makes people uncomfortable, but exists.

What the fuck’s so hard to understand in that?

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Mental illnesses aren't real

Originally posted by Ubervierte:
Originally posted by hamuka:

By my logic I don’t believe any of these things because they’re nonsense.

Exactly. They are. That’s why what you said before is complete bullshit.

???

Let me quote what you said in your OP (which, just so you won’t edit it and call bullshit on me, I archived here) again:

If it benefits someone it must be a fabrication.

I don’t feel comfortable with that so it can’t be true.

I listed two things which share the same properties (rain for the first, war for the second) and claimed they don’t exist because they share those properties. Then, you essentially said “but they exist!!” here (archived here). Thus, you basically called bullshit on your own argument.

I really hope you got that now, because honestly this feels less like an argument with you (or your past self anyway) and more like an argument with Gabi.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Are you a boob man or an ass man?

Whoever says boobs is a confirmed virgin apparently

Boobs

 
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Topic: Forum Games: Forum Games / [Mafia] Tales of the Prophecy - Day 1 (DL: Sept 1st, 20:00 PM EST)

Sorry was mostly afk for the past few days or so

Confirmationisming