Recent posts by hamuka on Kongregate

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Topic: Kongregate / DisruptorBeam Targeting/Banning Players From Forum, MORE

Originally posted by GooseBolton:

Wow, over 1600 posts, player_03? Were you the third person to sign up for Kongregate or do you feel it necessary to respond repeatedly to every person’s post? When you spend well over $100 on a game, you want it to work. Frivolous? I think not. NOT cool to get one excuse after another when they blatantly lie about fixes and give out totally meaningless titles as a reward. So, if you don’t play the game, mind your own business. I posted this here to warn others about this games many serious flaws.

1.) Let’s be honest here, 1600 posts is not a huge amount in the forums. Just look at my postcount; that’s fairly normal. Also, I love how you didn’t notice saybox’s 3000-post count.

2.) He said that even if they did no wrong, they wouldn’t like to deal with lawsuits (which are frivolous in that case and that case only) because that’d take precious time and money away which they could spend on things like, you know, fixing the game.

3.) As cargo said, Kongregate really can’t do crap about things not on their website (in this case, the Disruptor Beam forums). That’s their website, and they can do anything on it regardless of Kongregate’s opinion.

4.) You don’t have a chance to win a lawsuit in the case you want to really sue Disruptor Beam, due to a little thing called “Terms of Service”.

Disruptor Beam reserves the right to deny, in its sole discretion, any user access to the Disruptor Beam Sites or Services without notice for any or no reason (including, without limitation, for violation of these Terms of Service).

Or, translated to “normal language”, they can ban you for any or no reason. Though I doubt Terms of Service are actually worth anything, since Constitution, but for now I have to assume they are legal and you’re therefore forced to abide by them. Sorry. :/

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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

Challonge brackets, because why not?

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Topic: Forum Games / SURVIVOR: Redemption Island - TC5 results + first redemption + IC6: Relay Run

Originally posted by BestMte:
Originally posted by puzzledan:

Sorry I just have to celebrate here and rub it in. Yessssssssssssssss

You guys got a really neat strat. Gz.

I second this. Didn’t really except that, congratz.

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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

Guys. Please, at least vote in this competition. 3 votes, one of which is in stasis, is not enough to determine the winner of this.

Thanks in advance.

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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Remember when I said I would try and help out AN to my greatest ability?

Yeah. I just reached that.

Here’s the thing. After an unexpected error in my laptop, it shut down and it refuses to turn on. Thus, I will have to go V/LA for a yet unspecified time. I will try to do my responsibilities in FGF, but no promises. Sorry for any inconveniences.


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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Aw, AN’s leaving after only 2 months? :cccc

Don’t worry, I’ll try and control everything I can to my greatest ability. Hope you come back soon, though; it was really fun with you around! :D

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Topic: Kongregate / Okay... that's it... get rid of that annoying RATE THIS GAME popup that overtakes the chat room!

Okay, that was a ridiculous scenario.

Here, I’ll help you out, Rychip.

It’s just a typical day. You’re talking to some of your friends on the streets, mostly about how great pizza is and how the number 69 is everywhere.

Then, all of a sudden, everyone disappears.

Confused, you look around, shocked that you’re alone. Before you know anything, a small tablet falls down onto the street, which is now devoid of any cars. You decide to pick it up, before being utterly shocked at the voice booming out of it.

“Greetings, mortal.” A distorted voice speaks out of the tablet. “I’m sorry that I have to interrupt your merry talking, but I have an important message to you. I have transported you to a parallel dimension, with just you and the tablet I’m speaking out of, so no one else can see or hear our conversation.”

“Since you have been on the streets for 5 minutes now, I’d like to ask you for feedback on what they are like. Why is this so important that I had to go through the hassle of transporting you here? Don’t ask. Now, you have two options on the screen. If you click yes, and give your feedback, I won’t pester you in the streets any longer, except maybe a few times for laughs. If you click no, however, I will pester you again after 5 minutes here, until you give in. Also, no matter what you do, if you leave the streets and go to another place, this will happen again. The choice is yours.”

You click the “no” button, to which the voice answers with a grunt. “Very well. I’ll see you again soon, then.” With that, the tablet disappears, and everyone else reappears again, now talking about a completely different topic. Meanwhile, you just stand there, confused. What the heck happened?…

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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by Knoob85687:



Holy crap that music. I don’t know how I could live without that in my life. Thank you.

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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

This should be good enough.

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Roleplaying Thread)


“Oh come on, guys. We’re not the one trying to kill him; we’re trying to protect him from that darned lunatic. And Nate, I doubt he knows about that, and I’m sure he’ll find a way anyway.” I sigh, facepalming silently. “Also, since he didn’t get into the art school in our timeline, I don’t think we should get him into it; he might as well die then since he won’t get into the world of politics, and we all know how that would turn out. All we need to do is keep stuff as it is.”

I then set my time machine to 1916, Somme, as I saw that no one else went there yet and it’s an important point in time, as we’ve discussed. “Now, any other questions? Because I already have my time machine set, and there’s not much time left. No pun intended.”

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Topic: Kongregate / Okay... that's it... get rid of that annoying RATE THIS GAME popup that overtakes the chat room!

(Note, this comment will contain some swearing. I hope that you, ValenceCanary, don’t take anything here as personal insults; I’m directing that to the entire Kong staff as a whole.)

If you really dislike this (or any feature), talk to us! Don’t just be passive-aggressive.

Goddamnit, we’re trying to.

When the new profile layout came (which I still dislike a ton compared to the older one), we talked.
When the new “Notable Games” section came, we talked. And we still talk.
When the new tabs came, we talked.
When the game messages came, and spammed everyone, we fucking talked.

Did you listen to us? Did anyone at Kong staff listen to us? No, of course not.

Every single split test, regardless of opinions, ended in the same way: change.
Then, you stopped with split tests, and instead pulled updates out without asking anyone. The poll idea was never implemented, and the Suggestions thread barely had any admin response in God-only-knows-when.

The only notable change talking in the forums achieved was adding Forum Games and Off-Topic back to the “My Kong” tab. That’s it; then, you lulled us into the illusion that we were still being listened to then, so we didn’t notice that things were being changed under our sight.

Up until now.

Now, we’re talking, but there’s only one thing missing: you actually listening. With that one remark, you confirmed that the entirety of Kong administration barely gives a shit about what we’re talking about. We’re not the ones who are passive-agressive, but the website we’re talking to.

Now that you are listening, I shall put forward a list of everything we wanted and didn’t get:

  • Polls/surveys about every major change to the layout.
  • Change the profile/menu/forum layout back.
  • Remove Notable Games.
  • Bring Recently Played back to the homepage.
  • Erase the Activity Feed system.
  • Remove the new rating popup.
  • A metric ton of suggestions in this thread.

If you don’t consider this list long, 1.) keep in mind I could’ve wrote thousands upon thousands of ideas which I summarized into the last item, and 2.) there are some serious problems.

If you know why these can’t be fulfilled, tell us why. If you have statistics, detail every aspect and the statistics, or, even better, link to an Excel file containing them. Just don’t leave us hanging. We have had enough of that.

Thanks in advance, though I don’t think I should. After all, I’m but one from the 17 million other users who are all against me and the stuff I just said, so what I said won’t change anything.


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Topic: Kongregate / An interview with MrGravy (Kong Moderator)!

A: Antarctica.

No. Stop coming here.

Awesome interview BTW! :D

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Topic: Forum Games / [CYOP] >hiddeN

Knew it was a SecretNet-style game before I clicked the link. And I loved that game. :D

(Note to self: So, terryh2o2 is an assassin, InFiltratorz_1 is a hacker, YOUSHALLNOTPASS sells firewalls, qwerty222 is a nub that falls for everything. I will need to investigate stuff about the others. Kk.)

(Strategy: merrily chat away for a while, then gently try to pull out information from others so as not to raise suspicion.)

>> Heh. Is qwerty a newcomer as well, then? If not, he must be just really gullible._

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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

small victory dance

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Topic: Forum Games / [LABYRINTHIUM] Heroes - Day 17: Trap

Hamster, Level 1, Warrior ~ Inside the Tavern

“Goddamnit.” Hamster thought. That wizard has just shot a burst of air stream at his eyes, almost blinding him. He couldn’t do anything but cover his eyes, shouting in pain. It went away as suddenly as it came, though, and he found himself able to see things again.

“Are you okay?” He heard a nervous woman speaking, presumably his ally at the moment. He just nodded, slowly uncovering his eyes, and standing up. He saw the woman go to the girl lying on the floor, with the wizard now gone. “Oh, that little…” He muttered under his breath as he went to check on the girl as well.

The sight was disgusting. Hamster couldn’t tell that the figure lying on the ground was a human anymore. Her face was a pale shade of green, littered with wrinkles. She looked like she was at least 80 years old, not as youthful as she was.

Before he could inspect her further, though, he heard a moan emit from her mouth. “Oh, crap.” He went to run to the door, only to slam into it and fall back. He heard the door lock itself as he stood up once again. That bastard locked them in one room with an undead. If he finds that mage, he’ll suffer for this.

Hamster didn’t even think; he just ran instinctually to the farthest possible place from this monster. He watched as the corpse ran straight to the wall after him. “Well… at least it doesn’t have as much intelligence as a fully functional human, so that’s a good sign.” he thought to himself.

However, afterwards, the zombie looked at… whatever her name is (Dellabon? Bolladen?), making its way towards her while looking at them with its eyes. Its eyes… two pale, grey, lifeless orbs looking barely capable of seeing anything at all. It fit the body frighteningly well.

He could only watch as the zombie tore through the room, and towards the woman. Then, he noticed something. The monster didn’t care about him; he could easily attack it from behind. “Well,” he answered to his ally’s question, “Its brain is the organ controlling the body, so maybe trying to cut its head off will work.” With that said, he went to demonstrate what he’s talking about, taking his shortsword and slashing at the creature’s neck.

Attack the Amateurishly Zombified Corpse with my Shortsword.

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Roleplaying Thread)


“Hey, I may have been in the team which invented time machines, Beth, but that doesn’t mean I necessarily know where this lunatic is.” I said into my microphone.

Afterwards, I hear BLOODYRAIN’s suggestion. I think through his suggestion, and speak again. “Let me see. If Hitler dies, there’s no World War II, which would result in no Eastern bloc and the Soviet Union staying as it is, slowly taking over countries until a rebellion strikes, resulting in World War II happening at a different time, yadda yadda yadda…” I keep thinking aloud for a few minutes, then finish: “… which would mean a nuclear war happens in 2000 due to a conspiracy theory of Y2K being caused by Gigistan, wiping out 99% of human population and making aliens take over. Well… that would suck indeed. Nice idea, BLOODYRAIN.” I wondered how I couldn’t notice this earlier.

“30 years is kinda… unspecific, though. Let me search up something.” After a few keystrokes, I search up Wikipedia as well. “Well… he got rejected by the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna two times, in 1907 and 1908, making him run out of money and forcing him into a homeless shelter by 1909. He might’ve had suicidal tendencies then, so I suggest we go there before this maniac convinces him to kill himself. Another date would be World War I, where he participated and could be killed easily with no one noticing. So, here’s the plan: half of the team goes to 1909, Vienna, and another goes to 1915, the River Somme. Does that seem fine to everyone?”

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Roleplaying Thread)

Originally posted by 10crystalmask01:

Danny Olson

“I dunno.” I respond, still throwing my baseball at a nearby wall, over and over again to catch.

(So do all of us start in the same room as character “???” If I’m writing my part wrong, I’ll redo it..)

(You slightly misunderstood. You’re currently in your time machines, travelling through timespace. Your part is good, though; the time machines are spacious enough so you can throw a ball at a wall.)

(I’m gonna be inactive for some hours, BTW. Hitting the sack.)

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Topic: Kongregate / Rage & Grace, 42nd Kongregate Tournament. 300 Kreds Prize Pool, thanks to IAmTheCandyman. Round 2 is up (Dolphin Olympics 2, Cardinal Quest 2)

Hard badge get. Ty Pig.

HF with Wonderputt, BTW.

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Roleplaying Thread)


Speed. That’s what I’ve felt during the launch of the time machine. Pure, incredible, irresistable speed. I got pushed into my seat as the machine took off, tearing through the fabric of our universe as we all disappeared into nothingness.

After a while, I felt the time machine slow down enough so that I’m able to look out my window. I could see the other times; I could see the battle of Verdun, the crowning of Queen Elizabeth II, the colonization of Mars. I could see other universes, planes of existence as well; one a topsy-turvy wonderland of trees, one a barren wasteland, another being a collection of small islands of land, with infinite gaps between them.

I couldn’t help but marvel at the machine in my control. Our creation, a collection of metal, glass and numerous powders and fluids which made it become capable of travelling between universes which we didn’t know existed. A true marvel indeed; but a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. And sadly, it got in the wrong hands.

I sighed, and sat back to the microphone. “The scientist here. Everyone is here, right? Any ideas on where we should go?”

You may post now.

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Roleplaying Thread)

Reserved for lock. If anyone tries to post before I do one more time, I will teleport them straight into a pool of boiling water in the 1600s, therefore making them unable to enter any of my games ever again.

Please keep everything not about RPing here

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Topic: Forum Games / Worst. RP. Ever. (Sign-ups + OOC discussion)

@zingzingzingbah: You’re in. I have a bit of a hunch against you, but if you screw something up, I have the methods to correct that, so why not? :P

@LeNoobz: Well, with a 5-1 decision, the decision is: sorry, but I currently can’t let you in the game.

RP threaad coming in a sec. Hopefully not a CURSIVE-like sec.

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Topic: Forum Games / [Game over] CURSIVE - And the winner is...

Okay, have an in-depth criticism, everyone.

Keep in mind that this is all my opinion. I tried my best to not take any friendships into this and tried to read everything objectively, regardless of genre, but still, what I say is purely subjective. Thanks.

AdeebNafees: You’re the king of describing stuff. Seriously. All of your submissions were filled with extra details that made them easier to visualize, small things that linked everything together. It made the writings stand out from the crowd, and made them enjoyable. If a book writer asked me what to do to make his books better and more detailed, I’d say “Here, read these writings. I’m sure they’ll help.” And I’m not joking; I’m sure that they would. The fact that you could maintain that quality, if not improve on it, until the end of the competition, is also notable.

Behemoth542: Not much I can say. If you would’ve lasted until the end, maybe I could give a better critique, but from 2 writings, not really. They were good, but that’s about it; nothing really notable, sorry.

CalmWaters: Goddangit, Wiggles, why’d you leave? After Dead Silence, I had you marked down as one of the people who could’ve won this competition. Your poem and short story were one of the best, period. It’s a shame you didn’t continue, I’m sure you would’ve stood a chance.

coolo2011: Wasteland was a beautiful poem, I have to admit. But, let’s be honest, it wasn’t enough to compensate for all the other writings missing. Quite a shame, again.

hamuka: Awesomesauce. That’s all I can say about your writings. I don’t know why Bluji told me I can’t vote you; your writings were the best. You lasted until the end as well, so I don’t understand his decision. Is this some kind of penalty? Oh well; I’ll let you know though, you’re the winner for me.

LethalMutiny: You know you’re epic when you inspire 2 other people to use up their submissions in R8 to write a sequel to your short story. It wasn’t without a reason; Stand Up and Run was a great short story, and The Death of a Forest was, if possible, better than that. Even though your later submissions were a bit… lower-grade than those, it still made for a great portfolio. Plus, that’s only my opinion. Kudos for writing for all rounds.

Precarious: My sides hurt the whole time while I read your short story. Seriously, you’re one of the best comedy writers in the competition. You didn’t stick to that one genre though, and for that I’m grateful; the submissions in other genres were also great. By the way, Integral was a game that I’d play any day. Hope you’ll make that game in the future, or get someone to do that. Again, kudos for surviving until the end.

occooa: “They say the definition of insanity is trying the same thing and expecting different results. If that’s true, it would explain a lot.” – Spector29, Love Was Still Around

Yet again, kudos for surviving until the final round, but with your strategy, it wasn’t that hard. Also kudos for bringing some of the weirdest writings in CURSIVE, which is no easy task. Every writing of yours left me saying, “What the literal fuck did I just read?” However, after the 6th writing about Blizz and diapers, I got a little bored. A bit of variety, and it could’ve been better.

S_98: Your poem was great as well; I had a hearty laugh at the end. But, as I said at coolo, that doesn’t compensate for the missing writings. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

SilentSand: You’re a Creepypasta writer, aren’t you? No, sorry, you can’t be; your stories are more frightening than those. Your TV program has far surpassed anything else in that round, and your other writings were also great. Too bad you didn’t submit anything for R4/R8, I would’ve been interested in what you could do there.

Spector29: Your short story was the one I read the most times, so congratz for that. It was amazing how you depicted the writer’s sudden mental breakdown via his writing. I just couldn’t imagine that it wasn’t something a 17-year-old actually wrote down in his diary. The others didn’t really hit that mark, but I have to give you credit for the short story. Also, again, I’m sad you didn’t write for the later rounds.

Woon1957: The amount of weirdness in your writings nearly approaches Cocoa’s. Is writing weird stuff some kind of female talent or something? Look who’s talking! The writings were quite good, though; except maybe the dialogue, that was a bit like it was thrown together in ~30 minutes.

Overall, I’m really, really torn between Prec and AN. Overall, my final verdict is:

Vote: Precarious.

It’s amazing how you could excel in all genres, and in all rounds. Seriously, your writings were a joy to read any time; not too long, not too short, and before I read them, I knew they would be unique and that they wouldn’t disappoint.

Honorable Mentions, in no particular order:

AdeebNafees for coming in a close second place, excelling in writing detailed works, and convincing me to sign to this nearly 2-month writing mayhem,
CalmWaters for being the best writer who didn’t survive the whole 9 rounds,
SilentSand for having the best horror stories,
Spector29 for having the best character development,
LethalMutiny for best poem,
occooa for most WTF,

AdeebNafees, Behemoth542, CalmWaters, coolo2011, LethalMutiny, Precarious, occooa, S_98, SilentSand, Spector29, and Woon1957 for participating and thereby proving their sheer awesomeness,

Bluji for hosting this competition and making me not hate writing after all.

Cya all when Bluji announces the results! :D

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Topic: Forum Games / [LABYRINTHIUM] Heroes - Day 17: Trap

Hamster ~ Inside the Tavern

After a few minutes, Hamster decided to do a bit of cleanup. The room was filled with a thick layer of dust, and there were cobwebs everywhere. He doubted these rooms were even used in the past few months, if not years.

He could barely slice the cobwebs with his shortsword, and after he did, its remains stuck on the sword, with him unable to shake them off. Cursing a bit under his breath, Hamster cut them all off, then collected the dust. Without any tools for this, he just scooped it up with his hands, and threw it out the window. Soon, all that could be seen outside was a grey cloud of dust dating back to who-knows-when. After he threw it all out, he had to close the windows so that the dust doesn’t come back again. The room was a lot cleaner now, but not that perfect. Still, it was good for the time being.

Hamster checked the carpet under him, and was surprised at how soft it was. It would work as a bed until it gets repaired, if it gets repaired at all. This must’ve been a luxury room before being abandoned, due to… he didn’t really know. The tavern was quite busy, with people coming in and out, so there was no reason to close the rooms down for the public… Or was there really?

After a few hours, Hamster could finally clean the bathroom as well. There were no words for the pure, utter disgustion on his face after he went out. He had to get a plunger to get rid of the mess in the toilet, so he decided to clean it afterwards and give it to the tavernkeeper.

As he went out, he suddenly heard a girl’s screaming. He sighed, asking himself if this is a punishment for him stealing that darned purse, and ran back down to the tavernkeeper so he could check what’s happening.

Back at the rooms, with his hands now free, Hamster drew out his shortsword, which was still covered in cobwebs, and went down the alley. He now heard a person chanting loudly (Was it even a person, really? The chanting didn’t really sound like a human’s…), before it got stopped by a woman shouting angrily. He finally saw that woman, now balancing a bowl on the tip of her sword. He suddenly gulped. That woman was the one he just robbed a few hours ago. And now she has to work here as a maid? Darnit, if he knew that would happen, he would’ve left the poor lady alone.

“Hey! What’s happening over there?” he walked over to the woman, who was still looking in the room. Hamster looked in as well, and now it was his turn to walk back a few steps. A barmaid laid down on the ground, while the hooded figure was staring at the barmaid next to Hamster (Bella? Della? No, it was longer… Ah, screw it.), with a cruel smile.

Hamster waked up from his shock, and looked at the figure angrily. That girl next to the figure… was she dead? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THAT GIRL, YOU PIECE OF …?!” he snapped violently, having to calm himself so that he doesn’t stab at him in an instant. He didn’t even know what his powers were, so lunging at him would be a stupid move indeed. WHAT. DID. YOU. DO.”

The figure was unyielding, but now he looked at Hamster. He muttered a few words, and pointed a finger towards him. Suddenly, a blast came towards Hamster, but Hamster dodged it by 3 simple sidesteps. The wall hit by the spell had a piece blown out of it. So… he and the lady next to him had to deal with a mage. He looked at her, asking without words what she thnks about the matter. He wouldn’t try to risk anyone’s lives without their permission.

What did he get himself into, he wondered…

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Topic: Forum Games / [Continuous] Name That FGFer

Have fun with this one, guys. ;)

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Topic: Forum Games / SURVIVOR: Redemption Island - TC5 results + first redemption + IC6: Relay Run