Recent posts by BLOODYRAIN10001 on Kongregate

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Topic: Forum Games / Wanderlust [CYOP]

You sit on a stool at the bar, contemplating the recent events that have occurred, and wondering how your life wound up here. It was all normal, jacking off to weird porn in a shitty apartment, working at a shitty job, eating shitty food, and pooping shitty…um…shit. Then you ruined it, getting 10 billion dollars in fines and getting into jail. And since then its been….an odd couple of days….you think? You’ve lost all semblance of time with this weird shit going on. You are confused…..suffering from…..confusion…..confusion….confusion….THAT…..THAT’S IT!
Kevin K. McKevin has learned Confusion
As you look at the line of text that just appeared above your head due to hallucinations caused by stress, you remember your name is Kevin K. McKevin. You mutter to yourself “Wait, what the fuck, what was I high on when I chose that name!??!” before realizing you weren’t high at all. Changing your name to that is the height of your mental capacities while you’re NOT on any drugs, and in peak condition. That’s…..depressing to say the least. You sink deeper and deeper into despair, and in this state, finally learn to cherish the sweet taste of failure. Or maybe it’s bitter. Hm, is that some lime in it too? Damn failure is tasty. As you lick your lips, drooling at the taste of failure and how great it is, it gets you wondering “HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE OF VICTORY!?!? IT MUST BE EVEN BETTER THEN FAILURE!” You yell for the barkeeper and say “I’d like one cup of Sweet, Sweet Victory with these beans in them pronto!” as you throw your half-empty can of beans at his face. His head begins bleeding, and he collapses onto the ground from your throwing a tin can full of beans at him, but the night-barkeeper is happy to make one for you after you throw his body into the sewers, never to be seen again, and to eventually end up as the mascot for a palor for necrophiliacs. You then wait a moment, and his hands flash through the air, and amazing feat of acrobatics as he makes an extremely complex cocktail, and eventually he fills up a pitcher and says “Sweet Sweet Victory: Bean Edition”. You then take a drink, knowing this will most likely be the best thing you will ever taste in the entirety of your life. You prepare for this, knowing all food will be ruined for you after this, and knowing this will be the peak of your existence. You take a sip, and wait a moment for the deep flavor to sink it……THIS…..IS……….the worst fucking thing you’ve ever tasted. You spit it out, the flavors of feces and fetid water mixing in your mouth along with raw sewage and dirty gym shorts. You vomit for three hours, and convinced they gave you Ebola, you vomit on everything purposely trying to give them Ebola. While you did not have Ebola, you did later cause 12 people to die due to infections to the immune system. Bravo hero, bravo. Anyway, this taught you an important lesson: Failure is a much better taste then victory, so it’s best for you to continue being a failure. As you finish, you fall onto the ground and say “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME AFTER GIVING ME EBOLA LIKE THAT.” The man at the bar says “You are the chosen one. We need you to make Helicopter Dicks acceptable in public again, and to assist use in resurrecting….the one.” As you breathe, you ready up another statement, finishing the conversation with “WELL IF THAT’S NOT AS CRYPTIC AS FUCK, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.”
Choices
1: Fall asleep in a pool of your own vomit.
2: Helicopter dick time.
3: Ask for their leader.
4: Explore the sewers.
5: Ask for something decent to drink/eat.
6: Other
[Choose two 6 + 3 of 1-5 max.]
Inventory
$500
1 Large Bag of Ice
$9,999,500,000 in fines.
Psuedo-Ebola
The horrible taste of victory.
Authority among all people who do the Helicopter Dick as the chosen one.
The ability to use the move “Confusion” from Pokemon.
[Edit: ….Why do my posts always come out so long?]
[Edit Edit: Also, so far I’ve written 8.5125% of a novel in my updates. I know what I’m doing after this is done. wahahahha]

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Multiplayer Games with Badges)

Dawn of the Dragons

 
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Topic: Forum Games / You wanted knowledge...

Originally posted by Avadon42:

:P Speak softly and carry a big stick.

I suspect I just bought a machine gun… but that remains to be seen.

He bought a machine gun, now all we can hope is they don’t let 30-something year olds into schools without an ID.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / The List(current round: Multiplayer Games with Badges)

Originally posted by 10crystalmask01:

Blood

nooooooooo
RAIN then.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Wanderlust [CYOP]

Thoughts fly through your head as to how to handle this scenario. Stupid thoughts, but thoughts. Firstly, you prepare for something you’ve always wanted to do. You run to the main street of the town, and as people begin staring, their vision locked onto you and your indecent appearance, you eat your medical gown [It has a very AIDS and Ebola taste, mmm], and then yell “HELICOPTER DICK!” and do the helicopter dick, fwooshing noises filling the air as the screaming of children and the click of cameras sound in the background. Little did you know this would get 480,000,000 views on Youtube in 4 hours before being taken down for indecency. As you hear sirens coming near you, you rush into a pet store to attempt to become a pet there, as it’s not illegal to be naked as a dog or sumptin! You beg the man to make you a pet, but he refuses, but does give you some kibble for your effort. Good kibble, just enough cow lungs to give it that special flavor. Then, as the cops grow closer, realizing what you have down, attempt to commit the ritualistic suicide of the Japanese Samurai, Harakiri. As there are no swords around, you grab a Gerbil and stab it into your chest, where you smash its skull and kill it. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONEEE, I’M A MURDERER. As you begin sobbing, you consider where murderers go. Jail? No, been there, don’t wanna be raped again. Maybe they commit suicide? Just tried that, made me a murderer, don’t like where that pattern is going. And I don’t have a gun so I can’t die in a gunfight maybe a….um….GANG? YES, A GANG. You yell out into the street “ANYONE WHO IS PART OF A GANG, PLEASE PROTECT ME, K THANKS.” and then as the cops pull up, 23 naked man with guns come to your aid, as the “Helicopter Dick Alliance”. Apparently they’ve been fighting the cops for 48 years to make Helicopter Dicks a respectable and honored event in this city, and to lift the ban. They have failed at this task, but keep their goals in sight and their thirst for this goal drives them to keep on fighting. They begin shooting, and one of them tells you to follow them. You pray to the gods that you’ll make it out of this alive, and then find yourself in a bar somehow located in the sewers, which is their base. The give you a pair of pink clothes with the caption “PINK IS FOR MANLY MEN” and you put them on. You then wonder what tasks they’ll have for you, and where this odyssey will lead next.
Inventory
$500
1 Large Bag of Ice
Half a Can of Beans
$9,999,500,000 in fines.
480,000,000+ People who have seen your dick on the internet.
The sweet taste of failure.
Confusion.
Choices
1: Ask why you’re here and what they want of you.
2: Do the helicopter dick again.
3: Ask the barman for a drink.
4: Other
[You can choose two others and two of 1-3]

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by hamuka:

It has been, as our ancestors used to say, many moons since last I graced you with one of my glorious animadversions about Developous’s scurrilous indiscretions. With this letter I intend to propitiate my regular readers with a look at Developous’s desire to have more impact on Earth’s biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children’s than all preceding human generations had together. Without going into all the gory details, let’s just say that I often see ignominious agitators dragging men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrating them. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Developous because we must break away from the peloton and uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to disentangle people from the snares set by Developous and his co-conspirators. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to ask Developous to rephrase his criticisms in a more reasoned way.

If you were to unpack and analyze the philosophical assumptions behind Developous’s claim that it’s okay to provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction, you would find that when it comes to his bait-and-switch tactics, I assert that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It’s time to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them. The sooner we do that the better because his adages are worse than the Black Death of olden times. And let me tell you, his mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. Finally, in case you missed it, what I’ve really been alluding to in this letter is a queasy combination of revolting incompetence, base insidiousness, neopaganism, and ignorance. All of these characteristics are embodied in Developous, and they all make a strong statement about how I resent being exposed to coprophagous humanity-haters.


In fact, this fits Dev quite well if you ask me.

Yeah, about 90% of it fit, I can see Developus kidnapping people and dragging them out of their beds in the middle of the night to castrate them.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game-Related] Official Board Game Online Masterthread

Originally posted by abraaz:

I’ll rek y’all

Fite me m8

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

So, anyone get the new Super Smash Bros.?

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Wanderlust [CYOP]

You wander over to Starbucks, ready for your fool-proof meal plan. This will require daring, stealth, cleverness, strength, and most of all GUTS. You walk up to the counter, and say “I’d like large mocha please.” and while she’s distracted, you feel a triumphant spirit rising up within you, as the first step of your plan has worked. You then jump behind the counter and steal a large bag of ice, whacking the woman with it and stealing your mocha as well before running away, your amazing plan having somehow worked. After this, you trade a hobo your lollipop for a can of beans, and then drink your coffee while scooping beans out of a can. What an amazing day. But sadly, while eating your beans, your intestines grumble, and with a mighty roar a fart echos from your ass, and a large pain erupts in it, as you collapse to the ground. You wake up, your memory blurry, your vision faded, and your senses generally distorted, and the only noise possible to hear is doctors yelling and rushing to save you. You fall back into sleep, and then wake up. It’s 3 AM, and you can see a medical bill and diagnosis next to your bed. You read the diagnosis, which reveals that apparently you were suffering from having a large box of crayons crammed up your ass for the past 8 years. Well then, I guess your BDSM days backfired. Anyway, I wonder how much the bill is, $100, $200, may- OH DEAR LORD FUCK NO, RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN. You scamper away into the night, with a bucket, $500, a large bag of ice, half a can of beans, and $9,999,500,000 in fines to your name, hurriedly attempting to escape a $12,000 medical bill for getting a doctor to shove his hand up your ass and pull out some crayons. AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN GET YOU THE FUCKING CRAYONS. Cheapskates…..
Choices
1: Wander around in an attempt to gather more money.
2: Attempt to get more clothes, as you are in a medical gown, which exposes your genitalia for all of mankind to see.
3: Try to get a job or some friends around here, you’re kinda fucked.
4: Other
[You can choose one of 1-3 and two of 4.]
[Edit: I didn’t include some people’s choices, mah bad, I didn’t exactly look through every post several times and make sure I had them.]
[Edit Edit: Also, thanks Gonkey, but I really don’t have the time for anything like an RP or mafia right now, and haven’t gotten many ideas, so you get a CYOP that I purposefully fill with the stupidest things possible for shits and giggles.]

 
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Topic: Off-topic / What do you sleep on

A large pile of manga.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Ebola hypothetical question.

Well, Ebola does give you a fever, so I guess she probably COULD be the hottest chick in the world, but not attractive at all, because Ebola bra.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [Game-Related] Official Board Game Online Masterthread

Why am I the only one using this thread now? Also, gameeeee

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Master Thread

Originally posted by spikeabc:

Approve

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Wanderlust [CYOP]

Originally posted by Mikkmar:

Wait a sec, you told other people to report me just because I called you PB? Seriously?

Originally posted by Mikkmar:

Wait a sec, you told other people to report me just because I called you PB? Seriously?

No, I did it myself many times. Now please do not bother me.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by Knoob85687:
Originally posted by RaceBandit:

Paper hats are edgy and/or subversive?

[they have edges]

I also have edges.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [MAFIA] Jack-o'-Lantern [Night 2 Deadline: 26 Oct Noon GMT][Please replace adv0!]

1. I will be trying to contribute, but if I fail horribly at it, then I won’t be surprised.
2. Darkboy for his quick lynch attempt.
3. Standard strategy. Look for tells, act on them, hope we lynched mafia and then cry when we lynch town, standard.
4. Well, the townies basically have 25% bulletproof, that was pretty odd.
5. I’d rather lynch to get some info, but we really didn’t have enough info on D1.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by S_98:
Originally posted by Knoob85687:
Originally posted by BLOODYRAIN10001:
Originally posted by melancholE:

So I’ve been stalking this forum for a bit then one day I suddenly got a thought to create an
account and participate. I was like, “hey, why not?” and that lead me to the creation of this account. So this is my “oh hello” post for now.

Hello, I’m taking my place as an official lurking elder of FGF, as my G-Mod addiction along with school is beginning to take its toll.

So….many….tests….save me……OH DEAR LORD THE HOMEWORK…..

[in order to be an elder you must first be older than twelve sry]

Knoob! I hadn’t even noticed you’re over twelve centuries old!

Sorry for forgetting your 1200th birthday. Happy Belated Birthday, Knoob!

Knob, I’m going on 1500 years now, stfu, I get to be elder.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Wanderlust [CYOP]

You wake up. Wait, were you dead? You feel like three weeks passed or something. Oh, you were just asleep. Well, you shouldn’t worry, it’s not like you were running a game or anything even if you WERE sleeping for three weeks. You wheel over to the log flume and go up to a small child and their mother. You say hello, and introduce yourself as Dr. John Karling, resident Respiratory Therapist at St. Ann’s Hospital. After this, you proceed to punch the small child, steal a half-eaten lollipop, and roll away while park security chases after you. You lose them in a crowd of people vomiting after eating some dirty meat from a vendor. Success! The “C” health rating of Six Flags has saved you! You then steal someone who’s sleeping’s laptop, and then log them out of Steam after gifting all their spare games they were saving for birthdays to you, and then logging onto your account. You attempt to play G-Mod, but a pop-up stops you saying ADDICTION PREVENTION CLIENT LAUNCHED. YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM LAUNCHING THIS GAME. Damn, all your 3800 hours of fucking around on it for nothing now that you can’t just play it until you die from neglecting your bodily needs. You then angrily wheel out of the park, throwing the laptop at a random man who collapses onto the ground, and stays there, bleeding out as people gather around him. Taking advantage of this, you grab a giant thing of balloons he was using to promote his little game, and use it to miraculously float out onto the park, and then straight out into a nearby town, the balloons breaking, sending your broken body crashing onto a smelly hobo. You then embrace them, and lovingly make out with them, ignoring the fact that you can’t even tell their gender. LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS! Using pure will, your newly gained love of life from making out with that hobo, and whatever weird powers you have, you pop all your bones back into place, and they somehow manage to meld together and fix themselves. You feel a large pain in your ass, as if something giant was pulled out of it, but it passes, and you recover, ready for more adventures.
Inventory
$500
$9,999,500,000 in fines.
1 Smelly Bucket
1 Half-Eaten Lollipop
A lingering pain in your ass.
Choices
1: SEARCH FOR ADVENTURE!
2: Consult a doctor on these lingering ass pains.
3: Get some coffee, there’s a Starbucks around the corner.
4: Other.
[You can choose one of 1-3 and up to two of 4.]

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by melancholE:

So I’ve been stalking this forum for a bit then one day I suddenly got a thought to create an
account and participate. I was like, “hey, why not?” and that lead me to the creation of this account. So this is my “oh hello” post for now.

Hello, I’m taking my place as an official lurking elder of FGF, as my G-Mod addiction along with school is beginning to take its toll.

So….many….tests….save me……OH DEAR LORD THE HOMEWORK…..

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by SypherKhode822:
Originally posted by BLOODYRAIN10001:

I placed 106th of 217 people at my first Yugioh Regionals. Yay, such happy.

Congrats, NERD.

Tails, go cry in the corner at your lack of ability at Yugioh while I celebrate, I’m actually happy right now, don’t ruin this for me.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

I placed 106th of 217 people at my first Yugioh Regionals. Yay, such happy.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / [MAFIA] Jack-o'-Lantern [Night 2 Deadline: 26 Oct Noon GMT][Please replace adv0!]

Conwalruses

 
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Topic: Forum Games / You Wake Up In A Room [Text Adventure]

Take off your clothes and run around the room yelling “STREEEAAKKIINNGG!”, hoping for someone to notice and open the door.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / General Thread

Originally posted by RandomTurtle:

I only just realized that FelineForumer’s Avatar is Nepeta Leijon. HOMESTUCK!

Wb

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Master Thread

APPROVAL GIVEN