I for one appauld you, for what you say is totally true. Many a Gamer Girl have kept that part of them secret i expect (for I can not know, I am a man, and have never met one to ever ask such a question) but the problem you all have is that secrecy itself, just as you pointed out. I know many casual gaming women, but such women whom you talk about either are to afraid for one reason or another to claim their title, or just wish to quietly giggle and chuckle and whatever else you women do whilst you play hardcore games. Whats ironic is the gaming industries total disregard (ok not total, but pretty close) for the women whom actually don’t just sit around growing, but are dismembering, destroying, creating, and so forth. But there is good news: many new mainstream titles are incorperating a character twist in which the protaganist is a women, not a man, Dead Space, even old Metorid, The Elder Scrolls, and more are sure to come. What I see is the industries problem is creating a woman who is idetifiable to both men and women, and with that that they also fit the story they take place in.
But never doubt, for when there is a will, there is always a will, and time is on your side.