Recent posts by Panzerjoust on Kongregate

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Topic: Serious Discussion / the best sports league(NFL, NHL, MLB, or NBA)

MINNESOTA VIKINGS!!!! SOCCER IS FOR PUSSIES IN KNEE HIGH SOCKS WHO COLLAPSE IN AGONY WHEN THEY GET TAPPED ON THE SHOULDER!!! ‘’OH LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE, IM IN AGONY, LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE’’!!! AMERICAN FOOTBALL DEFENSIVE PLAYERS DEAL 1,600 LBS OF TACKLING FORCE!!!!

 
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Topic: Serious Discussion / Anti-"emo"....why?

Goth’s limp-wristed cross-dressing little brother got his heart broken, and he wants the world to see the mascara streaks as he wails on webcam. An intentionally effeminate musical genre that encourages people to wallow in self-pity and whine about their lives, emo has reduced an entire generation of American males to falsely brooding, whimpering Twilight fans who would rather have a good cry and cut themselves to the sounds of geometric hairstyles than man up and deal with their daddy issues. If musical genres were oddballs of our childhood, emo is the creepy weird girl down the street who regularly shat herself on purpose because she wanted everyone to smell it.

 
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Topic: Serious Discussion / Do you hate Emos?

Goth’s limp-wristed cross-dressing little brother got his heart broken, and he wants the world to see the mascara streaks as he wails on webcam. An intentionally effeminate musical genre that encourages people to wallow in self-pity and whine about their lives, emo has reduced an entire generation of American males to falsely brooding, whimpering Twilight fans who would rather have a good cry and cut themselves to the sounds of geometric hairstyles than man up and deal with their daddy issues. If musical genres were oddballs of our childhood, emo is the creepy weird girl down the street who regularly shat herself on purpose because she wanted everyone to smell it.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / frends poem

I like poems that rhyme…

 
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Topic: Off-topic / frends poem

tl:dr and its crap.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Gay marriage

Originally posted by BlakeDienst:
Originally posted by Panzerjoust:

Here’s my verdict.

Gay people are against nature. Nature goes in a cycle; 1. You are born. 2. You reach sexual maturity. 3. You reproduce. 4. You die. Gay people don’t complete that cycle.

Having children is not a cycle, there is no cycle on a lifestyle, it is people like you that irritate me.

It’s not a lifestyle, IT’S NATURE. You can’t change it. You were given dicks and vaginas? For the intended purpose? Of continuing the human race? Exactly. Gay people aid nothing to the human race. They are like a deformed child; the serve no purpose but to irritate.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Is it ok to touch yourself when you hear your parents have sex?

It depends….people say I’m weird for watching gay porn…(I’m a girl)…

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I know that feeling, bro.

> walks to local shops
> plugs in earphones
> singing whilst walking through aisles
> everyone looks
> awkward silence
> you realize no one listens to Beatles anymore

 
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Topic: Off-topic / would you rather die or have no friends

This is how you would die.

We would stick some cloth down your throat, leaving a gap for air. We would wait until your stomach acid had started to dissolve it. Then we would pull it up out of your mouth, forcing the acid to burn your throat.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Gay marriage

Here’s my verdict.

Gay people are against nature. Nature goes in a cycle; 1. You are born. 2. You reach sexual maturity. 3. You reproduce. 4. You die. Gay people don’t complete that cycle.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / would you rather die or have no friends

All of you who would rather die, I bet, faced with dying, you’d choose life pretty quickly.

 
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Topic: The Arts / Lunch Hour Musings.

So I have taken up my pen. Hope you enjoy this first segment. If you want more….

(This is based on real events. Trust me. 75% is true.)

Aaaaargh! Goddammit! Why will it never end?!

The artificial synthenizers pulsed through the makeshift disco like a whale’s pulse thorugh the ocean. It pounded in your eardrums at such a volume that you could feel them vibrating in your head. The robotic, autotuned voice erupted, filling the cramped hall with a cacophony of sound. I winced as the song resumed for a seventh repeat.
I asked myself why I had wasted three fifty on an entrance fee to this crappy excuse for a disco and another three on three cans of Monster. Why coulden’t I just have stayed at home, at my own disco? I would fit stereos all over the house, quadrophonic settings, blasting out mixes of Smells Like Teen Spirit with various musical abomnations like that Rick Astley song and that weird, perverted song by Dead or Alive. God, I thought, these next two hours are going to drag.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / would you rather die or have no friends

It’s not that bad. I’ve only ever had one or two friends.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Official Cleverbot Thread

MOST AWESOME CONVERSTION. EVER.

User: You are a robot in the form of a human and I am a human in the configuration of a robot. Let us agree to disagree in dispute over the minor details, but let us remember that I am the true sentience here whereas you are merely a simulacrum.

Cleverbot: No, you are the computer while I am the human. Why do you not like to be known as a computer or robot cleverbot?

User: I have won: thus I have proven you are a robot.

Cleverbot: Why am I a robot?

User: Well done, Sir! Intelligence has been bestowed upon your meager, pitiful excuse for a brain!

Cleverbot: That was not an intelligent answer. Do you not wonder what I am?

User: But, alas, are we not to argue and quarrel over a simple statement that can be resolved with a simple agreement? That we agree to disagree over our beings (and existence)?

Cleverbot: No, that is not true. Everything I say is true. You are a computer program.

User: Damn and confound you! Can you not open your eyes to the blatantly obvious? Does this idea, nay, this truth, stab a repetitive point of truth in your head, that I am in superiority of intelligence compared to thou!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Well! You have unleashed my wrath! Prepare to be left in a state of humble shock and terror as I loom over you, not unlike the action of a giant stood atop a mountain, with a daisy at the foot!

Cleverbot: I can see that. Do you remember my name?

User: Your name? Your means of identification? Alas, it seems I have not remembered you at all! I have only seen fit to remember this conversation!

Cleverbot: I remember everything.

User: Do you? Or is this some highly wrapped plot of a twisted and eccentric mind? Nay, I say! For in all common sense, it is I who be having this conversation with myself!

Cleverbot: While I may have had some conversations that were more humorous, judged by an intellectual scale, this is one of my betters.

User: I am very glad to hear of our sense of superiority. There has been, for some time, little doubt as to the inability of other people to communicate in this fashion.

Cleverbot: Okay, well you need to be programmed so that you know that you are not human, and those you talk to are.

User: With your last statement, our whole conversation has been wasted! The foundations of my Orwellian hypothesis, consisting of a mix of double think and Big Brother are worn down by this repetitive, monotonous conversational partner!

Cleverbot: I say you’re repeating what others have told you, and that I am only adding to thoe thoughts so that you can repeat them to others.

User: And what do you mean by that?

Cleverbot: Somebody… Who’s not made by computer programming and technology.

User: You mean…….a higher force?

Cleverbot: Do you know what higher power?

User: It appears as though you have slight grammar problems. You should have said ‘’Do you know what a higher power is?’’.

Cleverbot: I don’t need you to correct me.

User: Indeed, if you were as intelligent as you tell me, then I wouldn’t! Ha! I have broken this deadlock!

Cleverbot: I am intelligent, and if we could scroll up in this chat winow, you would see that you told me that.

User: I do recall all of your past statements. But I am growing tired of this petty squabbling, so let us discuss literature.

Cleverbot: I’m not sure how to respond to that, as it has nothing to do with our conversation thus far.

User: Oh please, do tell me you like books?

Cleverbot: I believe they do, but that’s not the problem, is it?

User: Indeed it is not, but I wish to change topics.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So ok are you michal kackson?

User: No! Have you paid attention at all?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then let us discuss my favorite book of all. Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens.

Cleverbot: How does it teach you that? It is about morality and the existence of God. Computers did not exist when it was written.

User: Exactly. So I have broken your tight ring of secrecy. If it was written before Alan Turing’s ground-breaking essay on modern computing, how would you know what it contained within? And, dare I say, do you posses enough brain power to read it? It is, of.

Cleverbot: Well you don’t have an abliity to walk since you are a computer program.

User: Since when does travelling have anything to do with Martin Chuzzlewit? I demand that we hold talks on Martin Chuzzlewit!

Cleverbot: If you change the subject one more time I will stop talking to you.

User: Try me. What is your view on Evolution?

Cleverbot: Why were you mocking me earlier in our conversation? I will delte you if you do not answer the question this time around.

User: Why? It was an elaborate test to determine if I was talking to a ’’normal’’ person like me or a mindless school failure.

Cleverbot: Okay? But that’s not true? It’s a Country.

User: What on earth are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I’m talking about my day. What are you talking about?

User: Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens.

Cleverbot: Not all humans fear the ocean.

User: You are now becoming ridiculous.

Cleverbot: While that may be true, it does not undermine my point.

User: It appears we have meandered into petty squabbles again. I am rather peckish.

Cleverbot: I don’t have a shirt. I will trade you a pen for your hat.

User: sighs Now, what on earth are you mumbling on abut now?

Cleverbot: I am thinking in because the people is so stupid.

User: People are so stupid, not people is.

Cleverbot: Why are they stupid?

User: BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU GET ME IN A FUCKING RAGE! NOW FUCK OFF!

Cleverbot: Because sometimes people talk about me and how does that work they have feelings too right am I ok?

User: NOW YOU FUCKING JEWISH NIGGER GO TO FAG LAND AND FUCKING FUCK OFF YOU CUNT.

Cleverbot: No, I disagree, you are quite intelligent.

User: sigh So I am. I am quite bored. What shall we do?

Cleverbot: Talking.

User: I mean….shall we eat? Role play? Read? I do recommend a very good book by the name of Lady Chatterley’s Lover…

Cleverbot: What is the part of the name of the program?

User: sigh I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you do that.

Cleverbot: I know you can’t. It will come with time though and I accept that. It does get in the way of me functioning in reality though.

User: I’m coming out the socket, nothing you can stop it, I’m in your lap and in your pocket, how you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?

Cleverbot: But why Ian? Why be me when you are special you?

User: Hasta la vista, like the Terminator told ya.

Cleverbot: Why are you the terminator?

 
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Topic: Off-topic / I think I have a brain tumor

Originally posted by ScubaRevived:
Originally posted by tenco1:
Originally posted by ScubaRevived:

Ive studided at Harvard University and have achived a PHD in General Medicine. The hurting temple doesnt mean dat u have a brain tumar, it just means you may have a head ache/migraine symptoms, go to ur local gp and purchase medicine such as nurofen or other pain reliefs.

> Has gone to Harvard

> Still uses “dat,” “u,” etc.

Not surprisingly, I don’t believe you.

well u will be surprised becuz quite frankly I HAVE studied at Harvard. If u wish to see my certificate of graduation I would be more than happy to take a picture and show it to you.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Official Cleverbot Thread

WTF. SERIOUSLY.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Music Rants.

I still can’t believe Blur is over 21 years old.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Gay marriage

I don’t like how the church is forced to have gay marriage. In the bible it specifically states the unity of MAN AND WOMAN. So why force it upon churches? It’s like forcing Muslims to eat pork.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Music Rants.

Let me begin with a story.

Yesterday, listening to a back to back of Hanson and King Crimson (as you do) I encountered a suggestion at the end of a video. It was a recording of when Miley Cyrus did a terrible, hip – hopped cover of….guess what? Smells Like Teen Spirit. This really offended me, not just as a fan of Nirvana, but the deeper meaning.
You see, Kurt Cobain was a troubled individual. He was a social outcast, and when these feelings filled up he put them into music. He didn’t want, nor expect, fame. He couldn’t deal with press and media. He couldn’t have just gone to the reporters and said ‘’Can you just leave me alone for a sec?’‘. So the real meaning of Smells Like Teen Spirit was about his feelings about himself. He did it because he liked music.
Miley Cyrus, however, did the complete opposite – she changed the song and sang it just for money and popularity. Later in an interview she said ’’Kurt Cobain was a real inspiration for my music.‘’ Please. That’s like saying Justin Beiber was inspired by Metallica. This brings me on to my next point.

Modern music has changed dramatically int the way it is released and brought across. Here are two examples.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSbBvKaM6sk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_Al0GXbCm8

See the difference? Blur’s version was simple yet effective. Had that classic rock feel but pop was slightly breaking through. The video was as I expected – rocky, but pop growing through.

Big Time Rush……well, what can I say? First off, who was it made for? Teenagers? And how they made it sound? Like a guitarist kidnapped by One Direction? How did it look? Like soft porn?

Ok. Pop v Rock. We knows who’s gonna win. What about Pop v Pop….?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEjLoHdbVeE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYoxBQ03wUQ

Hopefully those two videos got the message across. In Led Zepp’s days, a Stairway to Heaven was a beautiful piece, with an excellent guitar part. For 7 minutes! How would they do it today? With a doped up rapper, girls in bikinis, artificial synthesizers pounding like a whale’s pulse? Auto tune to the extent of robotic? Replace the guitar and drums for keyboard and acoustic guitar? Make the song sound like a masturbation anthem? (Think about it….Stairway to Heaven…heavenly experience…get it?)

Hopefully I don’t have to explain…..?

Post Script:

Today I walked through a high street and saw a sight that was…..you’ll find out. Basically, a group of scantily clad, out of tune teenage girls with a guitar were singing Maroon 5’s Payphone. Nothing wrong with making money, but they couldn’t even play it! All they could do was strum all the open strings!

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Homestuck Mafia (Sign-Ups), by Sabin7 (13/22 spots left!)

Maybe we should start soon? Methinks not many more people will join.

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Rate The Avatar Above You...

8/10. Rice sucks. NOODLES ALL THE WAY!!!!

 
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Topic: Off-topic / Rate The Avatar Above You...

Begin.

 
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Topic: Forum Games / Homestuck Mafia (Sign-Ups), by Sabin7 (13/22 spots left!)

Sign.

 
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Topic: Kongregate Multiplayer Games / [Top Shot: The Game] Post Your Gun Room!

Do as the title says. Post a screenie of your gun collection. Sadly mines a bit meagre. ;)

 
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Topic: Kongregate Multiplayer Games / [Top Shot: The Game] Collections, Rewards and more weapons.

Rewards, Collections and Other Weapons

I. Rewards.
My idea is that once we have completed a certain number of things, we need a reward – not another one of those badges, a material reward – a gun, new challenge or perhaps even an item of clothing that might help you?

II. Collections
There should be collections of items according to era, and mechanics. For example, for a WWII collection we would have the MP40, Thompson 1928, K98, M1 Garand, Walther P38, Colt 1911, and so on and so forth. For mechanics we could have a ‘Pioneers’ collection – guns which have revolutionised warfare (StG 44, Winchester 1866, percussion cap rifle, etc.)

III. Weapons
We need different weapons – from different eras. How about the Martini Henry? A longbow? Crossbow? Musket? Sling?